


Beyond Redemption

by Mililap



Category: League of Legends
Genre: F/F, Idk man I'm just v gay, Spin-Off, i never know what to write here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2019-11-15 22:12:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 122,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18081884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mililap/pseuds/Mililap
Summary: For redemption to be granted, justice must be served first. After helping Diana reforge her religion alongside Leona, Riven is free from her duties with the Rakkor, but still has Irelia's offer hanging over her head. Deciding it's time, the Noxian will take her up on it, but her heart has a doubt that she cannot shake off.Will Irelia grant her redemption or bring her into justice?





	1. Author's Note, Please Read

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Silver And Gold](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17004531) by [Mililap](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mililap/pseuds/Mililap). 



**AUTHOR'S NOTE. KINDA IMPORTANT SO PLEASE READ.**

Hello! You may know me, you may not. In any case, all you need to know about  ** _me_**  is that I'm Mili and I just really love my gay ass LoL ships.

Now, before you read  ** _this story_** there are some things you  ** _DO_** need to know; This fic is a spin-off of another fic I've written;  **Silver and Gold.** If you haven't read that one, I  _would_ advice that you do, since there are some points in this fic that you may not get, for they follow what had happened in SnG. If not understanding some things doesn't really bother you, then please go ahead and read! Just know that you may see some concepts/story points/etcetera that may sound weird to you. Reading the fic before this one isn't exactly vital to enjoy this one, I guess? but it definitely enhances the experience and makes you fully understand the story and the context behind it (Specially with all that happened regarding the Noxian invasion to Ionia. Definitely worth at least checking that out in chapter 27 of Silver And Gold, available here on my Ao3 profile!)

Apart from that, something I've told y'all before in, yes, you guessed it, Silver and Gold; I'll keep doing the same thing I've done in that one and  _ **I'll mix both the old and new lores**_  to the story's best interests. Riven is Riven, not many changes in her, but Irelia is kind of a mashup between the old and the new versions of her; Think of reworked Irelia, but with her old name (In this one she's Irelia Lito, not Xan Irelia).

And last but not least, it has been brought to my attention that I totally ignored how Runeterra's map actually works (LMFAO) so I'll be  ** _trying_** (emphasis on the verb  ** _try_** ) to remain loyal to it this time.

If you happen to enjoy the ride, consider maybe buying me a coffee! I'm mililap in ko-fi <3

Having said all that, I hope you  _do_ enjoy. Cheers!


	2. Of Nightmares And Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riven awakens with a decision to make after her oldest enemy spares her from her usual nightmare.

It was the same dream, every night.

She was in that bloody battlefield, her dark armor on, her humongous blade on her hand, fighting against her reluctant enemy.

She was striking and being struck, just like every night, just like every dream.

Just like every nightmare.

She knew the whole story already; she would try to kill her opponent, her opponent would try to kill her first. Then, that fiery arrow would fly through the sky, the one that would put an end to it all, killing her squadron and dooming her into a self-imposed exile.

She was so used to dreaming of it that she started to expect it at some point, almost like lucid dreaming, waiting for the arrow to appear, for its' landing and everyone's demise, waking her up and freeing her from the nightmarish torture.

But this time, as she watched the arrow flying towards them, something rather unexpected happened.

It never landed.

It vanished, instead, just like the battlefield she had been in.

She was surrounded by darkness.

" _Riven."_

The sound of her name startled her, for she had thought she was alone. Turning around, she realized she wasn't.

Her eternal opponent was still there.

She offered the Noxian the hint of a smile.

" _How much longer?"_  The woman asked her, her dancing blades falling slowly to the ground as she moved towards her.

Riven tried to walk backwards, but she had hit some sort of wall. "Until what?" She blurted out, her eyes scanning the other woman's face.

Then the Ionian she was up against grabbed her by the face, bringing it really close to her own before speaking once more.

" _Until you take my offer."_

* * *

She sat up immediately as she woke up.

She wasn't tired. She wasn't  _that_ well rested, either.

It had been weird. To see Irelia calling her out, yet being so friendly, so open, so  _inviting_ …

It had been weird, to say the least.

She let out a long exhale, rubbing the sleep off her eyes with her thumb and index finger.

Looking out through her bedroom's window, she noticed it was still dark.

She laid back down and stared at the ceiling. Sleep wouldn't come easy to her.

Maybe sleep wouldn't even come at all.

Upon such a realization, with a sigh, she got up.

Wandering the Temple's halls wasn't strange to Riven, let alone doing so at such hours, with the Goddess of the Night watching over her like she had been doing for an apparently quite long time.

She walked around barefooted with a robe covering her body, her limbs, protecting her from the faint breeze that was more on the chilly side as she walked seemingly aimlessly around the building, no one out to see her as she moved around the place.

 _Seemingly_ aimlessly but not really, for she  _knew_ where her feet were taking her to.

She dragged herself towards the East gate of the Temple, made her way out of it and walked for quite before taking a sharp right and navigating the forest she had gotten in, hitting a clearing after some uphill hiking, reaching a cliff that overlooked the forests near the building she was staying at, the full moon shining bright on top of her head, stars keeping her company in the sky.

She dropped to the ground and sat down, letting her legs dangle from the ledge.

She stared at the Moon, the stars, the forest underneath her, the Temple to her left, everything and nothing at the same time, before looking up at the sky once more and closing her eyes, trying to relax her body, her mind, her soul with the help of the Winter air.

It worked a bit.

 _Just_ a little bit.

But she hadn't gone there for that and only that.

She was waiting for someone.

So Riven did just that; wait.

Time blended into itself moving both fast and slow, the Noxian not really minding it, not really aware of how long it had been until she finally heard it: footsteps so silent they might as well never existed.

Approaching her.

"Up this late?" Asked the one behind her.

Riven smiled. "I could ask you the same thing."

Black and silver entered her peripheral vision as the Chosen of the Moon moved to her side, letting out a grunt as she took a seat next to her, "Nighttime is my prime time. It's always been." The silver haired woman reminded her as she looked at her with a teasing look, "You, on the other hand... "

"I suffer insomnia, so it's my prime time too, now." Riven shot back, a funny look on her face, a smile that grew as she saw Diana laugh.

"You're right, you're right." Diana nodded her head, "It's  _our_ time. Sorry for the disrespectful mistake."

"Do  _not_ let it happen again." Riven said in her authoritative tone, making Diana roll her eyes at her before both of them stared at the sky.

It didn't last long for Riven, though.

She allowed her crimson eyes to sway towards Diana's figure, letting herself examine her after so long without doing so. Her hair was longer than ever, if such a thing was possible, the scar on her forehead looking less like a scar and more like a tattoo she chose to sport proudly. Her face looked the same, yet both older and younger at the same time, fresher but with that look of wisdom to her eye, the silver in them shining as bright as the Moon. Even her ancient armor looked renewed in a way she couldn't quite explain, as if the silver plates had been reforged, the dark fabric underneath it, the one which served as a second skin to the armor's bearer, looking darker, smoother, newer.

Reborn. Powerfully so. Beautifully so.

"Busy night?" Riven finally asked her, earning a tired look from Diana as the Moon's Aspect nodded her head, the gleam of triumph hiding behind her pupils despite her exhaustion. "What was it this time? Terrors?"

"Yeah, Terrors." Diana confirmed, "A pack of six, south of here."

"Six?" Riven had a worried frown on her face, finding it hard to believe as Diana nodded once more. "And you managed to fight them on your own?"

"Yes." Diana said, a cocky smirk on her face. "I don't know exactly how, what or why, but ever since being reunited with Leona, I've felt faster, stronger, smarter." She shrugged, "Not that I feel godlike all the time, but I do feel really good occasionally."

Riven chuckled, "That's good, Di."

Diana nodded, "It is." Her smile was impossible to hide as she said, "I'm happy to be by her side."

"Well, you've been there for, how long now? A year?"

"And a half."

"And a half," Riven echoed, her gaze on the forest underneath their floating feet. "Enough time to get tired of her, yet here you are."

"Yet here I am." Diana repeated, staring off into the horizon just like Riven did. "I don't think I could ever get tired of her. One would think I would have gotten tired by now but I'm always craving more of her."

"And that's a wonderful thing, Di."

They enjoyed the quiet silence for a bit, sharing the Night, the view with each other, a thing that hadn't happened in a long time.

A  _too_ long time, Riven thought.

She missed her. She hated to admit it, but she missed her.

"I had a dream." She offered.

Then waited.

Diana looked at her, expectantly.

Said nothing.

Riven raised a brow. "What happened with  _I know everything that happens at night?_ In theory you should already know what I dream about, Diana."

Diana's look of curiosity faltered at that, though she smirked, "I can't be everywhere. If I'm to take care of protecting this world, I have to let go of certain responsibilities, like keeping someone's nightmares at bay."

Riven would have smiled at her teasing, but something in her failed to do so. "I noticed you were busy as soon as the nightmares came back."

Diana heard it on her voice; she was disappointed.

"I'm sorry, Riven," Diana let out, sorrow coating her features. "I just couldn't—"

"I know, I know." Riven cut her off, an apologetic look to her face, for she hadn't meant to worry the other woman. "It's alright, Di."

And the silence that they had once shared comfortably, turned awkward.

But then Diana couldn't keep quiet anymore, "I had  _other_ reasons to stop watching over you too, Riven…"

The Exile looked at the former Heretic with a frown on her face. "Which ones?" A certain kind of guilt took over her heart, fear of having betrayed her friend, "Have I upsetted you?"

" _No,_ no,  _Gods_ no." Diana quickly responded, "No, I'm not necessarily  _upset_ about it."

 _Necessarily? About it?_ "But I've  _done_ something."

And Diana tried to keep her composure, but she couldn't help the bob of her throat, the faint blush of her cheeks as she looked away from Riven, unable to meet her eyes, the uneasiness of her voice as she said, "I might have  _accidentally_ seen into one of your more  _private_ dreams…" She cleared her throat as she heard Riven let out a quiet  _Oh, no,_ followed by the smack of her palm against her forehead. Daring to look at her, Diana slowly turned her head to see the Noxian hiding her face behind her hands, her  _ears_ red with embarrassment. "Riven, it's okay—"

"No, no it's not."

Diana swallowed, her own face as red as the Noxian's. After a minute, she heard Riven mumble something, but the sound was so muffled that she couldn't hear her. "What?"

Riven came out from behind her hands, "I asked you what you saw."

"Do I  _really_ need to say it?"

The question was met with nervous red eyes.

Diana gulped, "I saw enough."

"Oh, gods." Riven was shaking her head, "Diana, I'm so sorry—"

"Riven, it's  _alright."_  Diana cut her off one final time. "I get it."

"Do you?" Riven questioned, "It doesn't seem right to dream like that, especially about a married—"

" _Woah,_ woah." Diana started, "I'm stopping you  _right_ there. Don't marry me off yet."

And despite how uncomfortable she felt, how awkward the situation was, Riven chuckled, "Afraid of commitment, Diana?"

"No, but you either get the facts right or you don't get to open your big, fat mouth, Riven." Diana teased back, earning a light shove to her arm. "You can tease me about my married life once I'm actually married."

"It's not right, anyway."

"Oh come on, Riven." Diana started, more at ease than before. "Give yourself a break. After all the time we spent together and the stories between us, your subconscious was  _bound_  to come up with that," A small smirk on her face as she said, "You can't control it."

And she didn't know what, exactly, in Diana's words made her think of it, her mouth letting it out before she could stop herself, "Have you dreamt of me in the same way?"

And that smirk vanished.

It was all the answer Riven needed.

Diana knew.

She looked at her own feet, hanging in the air. "Being fated to be Leona's from the very beginning, I don't think I really had much of a say on who my heart desired, let alone my brain, you know?" She laughed, "Come think of it, it might be a bit unfair for both her and I, but it's not like I can do anything about it," She shrugged, "I just got to roll with it."

"Does Leona…" Riven cleared her throat, "Does she know?"

"Not a thing." Diana confided in her, earning a surprised look from Riven. "I just don't think it's necessary for her to know."

It reminded Riven of the reasons why she had trusted Diana so quickly; the promise of her secrets being well kept, the automatic, unquestioned complicity, the hundreds of things they had in common.

And the one thing they didn't.

"I'm sorry, Di." Was all Riven responded. "I feel like I put you in a complicated situation, sometimes."

"A complicated situation?"

"With Leona."

She snorted, "How do you manage to do that?"

Riven looked bored as she responded, "Not only do I know of this place, which is, in theory, only of Leona's and your knowledge, I also happen to dream of having you in my bed."

Diana stared at her for a brief second, before sighing and looking away, trying to gather her thoughts. "What you do or stop doing in regards of me is not of Leona's concern and it  _definitely_ shouldn't be of her interest. She  _knows_ I'm hers and it's  _me_ who she needs to trust and not only can she do that, she also happens to actually do it." She looked at Riven, her patience shining through, "I didn't tell her about your dream because she doesn't need to know that. Not even I do and I should apologize for having seen into it, but if your concern is whether seeing that disturbed me or not, you can rest assured that it didn't." She raised her brows and looked away, "I actually must admit that I felt flattered."

Riven  _knew_ she had heard her right, "You what—"

"And she knows that you know about this place," Diana moved onto the next topic, "And she has nothing to say about it because she's aware of the fact that, sometimes, you need some time alone and far from everything just as badly as we do." She smiled as she placed her hand on the warrior's arm, "She understands. Don't worry."

Riven's eyes moved from silver ones, looking into the horizon, "I just have a very hard time seeing you as just a friend." And, upon saying it, having heard how it sounded like, she looked at Diana only to have the Aspect of the Moon staring back at her with wide eyes, so Riven quickly added, "And I mean that in the most platonic way possible, I  _swear."_

Despite the brief confusion, Diana chuckled, "I know what you mean. You aren't exactly  _just a friend_ for me either."

And Diana let her have some privacy, looking away right on time, perfectly avoiding seeing the smile she knew Riven was wearing upon hearing her words.

"Well, the night might be young, but my own youth is  _fleeting,"_ Diana concluded as she slowly stood up. "I think I'm going back to the Temple. Are you staying?"

Riven stood up too, "No, I'll go with you, but let's stay for just a minute more." She said, looking into silver eyes, "Please?"

Despite the exhaustion in her eyes, the Rakkorian smiled. "Very well," She said, before looking up at the stars, quietly admiring their beauty.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Diana looked at her, "Sure."

Riven's eyes were filled with something strong, "How does it feel like?"

Diana's head naturally lolled to a side as she raised a brow in question, "What thing?"

"To love her and have her love you back."

She hadn't expected such a question.

She kept staring at those red irises, the darkness surrounded by the bloody color.

She felt as if Riven was staring into her very soul, looking for an answer.

_Curiosity. Pure, desperate curiosity._

"It's not a thing I can easily describe. Words escape me when I try to." She said, an apology in her eyes at such an answer, sadness in her heart for she knew it was not the kind of response Riven was hoping for. "But I can tell you where I can see it. I can tell you where that feeling hides, its' shifting shape."

"And how does it look like?"

A smirk hid on her lips as she looked away. "It's hidden on the way Leona laughs around me, the crinkles that form around her eyes when she smiles, on the silly winks she'll throw at me when she thinks no one's looking, the hand that lands on my waist every time we're side by side." She let out a small chuckle, hidden on her breath, "And when it's coming out of me, it's hidden on how I can't stop staring at her when she's around me, the way my hand always finds the back of her neck and scratches the skin there, because I know she enjoys it. How I try to fight my smile when she's trying to make me laugh, only because I want her to try even harder."

She looked into Riven's eyes, "I know you can see it in my eyes right now, because even the mere memory of her evokes such a feeling. I cannot tell you how it feels because it feels too wonderful to be true; words just can't make it justice, but I can tell you how it looks and what it makes you want, what it makes you think. It makes you want to hear the other person, crave their presence, know what they feel, what they think, what's on their mind at all given times. It makes you think you could stay there with them forever and not get tired of it, for there's no greater person in the world than the one by your side at that moment." Diana shook her head, a smile on her lips as she did so. "Ineffable, but detectable. Amazing."

"You make it _sound_ amazing."

Diana offered her a sad smile. "You'll see what I'm talking about." She said, before moving closer to her, her hand moving towards the back of Riven's neck and pulling her closer, placing a kiss on the Exile's forehead. "Let's go back, shall we?"

Riven nodded, smiling at her. "Yeah, let's." She replied, following after the other woman as they started walking back.

A thought occurred to Diana, then. "You never told me what your dream was about."

"Oh, that." Riven said, her brows raised as she realized she had totally forgotten about it. "Irelia asked me when I was going to take up her offer."

Diana almost stopped walking, her head turning so fast towards the Noxian that she could have gotten whiplash. "What?"

Riven simply nodded, "I was having my usual nightmare when she stopped it, somehow." She smirked, "I'm guessing my subconscious is trying to tell me something?"

But there was a frown on Diana's features, the Empyrean completely ignoring Riven's joke. "People with unnatural abilities like you and I, we can't shrug off dreams like that one." She looked into Riven's eyes. "I'm guessing your soul is trying to tell you something."

Riven let out a mirthless chuckle. "Are you implying that I was fated to meet Irelia and hear her offer,  _my Chosen?"_

Despite her friend's rather dark tease, Diana smirked. "I think it was no mere coincidence that you met and managed to befriend  _me_ , the Chosen of the Moon, when the one who's mercy you want happens to be a  _Ionian_ who follows the Moon as her deity." Her smile grew in size, "Do not underestimate the power of fate, Riven. Leona and I are proof of just how strong it can be."

Riven snorted. "Fate had nothing to do with it; you chose her on your own the first time you two met." She regarded Diana with a smart-ass' look. "You told me so."

"Yeah, but then we fell apart, did things to each other we really regret and yet here we are, loving each other despite it all." Diana said with the most monotonically bored tone she could muster. "We had all of the cards playing against us, all of the reasons not to be together and still we managed. To learn the truth, discover how things really are, see that we've always been meant to be, whatever and whichever; we managed and here we are." She stated, smirking at the annoyed look on Riven's face, for she knew the woman was right. "I'm just saying, Riven. There's no need to fear that which we don't understand, but we shouldn't underestimate it either."

Riven huffed a laugh as she shook her head, the gesture being one of endearment, with no desire to tease the Rakkorian. "Since when are you  _this_ wise, woman?"

Diana laughed, "Since always, but you just now started to listen."

Riven nodded her head, "I guess."

They were already by the door when Diana asked her, "Do you know if you're going to Ionia?"

And it was Riven's turn to be surprised as her brows were raised, her usually quiet demeanor making the look uncanny on her face, "I thought my decision was clear."

"Not really. What have you decided?"

Riven gulped before saying it, "I'm leaving tomorrow."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We gotta start somewhere, don't we?
> 
> Cheers!


	3. Set Sail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riven departs Targon. At night, she prays.

The halls of the Temple were crowded yet quiet, for nobody dared speak a word as she made her way through them.

They were too busy admiring her as she walked.

An ebony armor protected her body, silver accents here and there, taking the edge off the darkness of the plates. Not as heavy as Leona's but not as light as Diana's, Riven's armor landed on a middle ground between them, though the style of hers resembled the Moon Champion's more. Her left hand was bare, with only her bandages covering it, the ebony plates starting on her forearm, while her right hand sported a rather big, dark gauntlet over it.

Her broken blade, its' eerie energy making it glow faintly in a green hue, sheathed to her side.

Determination on her gait, her demeanor, her body language.

Desperation in her arteries, her eyes, in the way her mouth had gone dry.

She didn't acknowledge the Empyreans who stood all around her, watching her as she made her way towards the Temple's gates, where their two leaders would be waiting, ready to bid her farewell.

Her eyes didn't even sway towards Leona, standing by the door, slightly to her right, nor to Helena, also by the door but to her left. Riven kept looking forwards.

She could only see the one who stood right on her way.

She came to a stop right before her, "Morning blessings, Diana."

She ignored the fact that Diana was armored, too.

The only one armored between the three that stood in front of her.

Despite what was about to happen, Diana smiled back at the former Noxian. "Morning blessings, Riven."

Riven's hint of a smile grew at her words, the white haired woman turning her head to Leona and nodding it once, "Morning blessings." She said, not bothering to look at Helena and do it once more, for she knew the girl was blind and had heard her greeting.

"Morning blessings," Leona replied.

"Yes, yes, morning blessings, whatever." Helena hurriedly said as she moved towards Riven, her hands landing on the woman's shoulders, making her stop walking forwards. "Riven."

Riven watched her, immobile. "Helena."

Diana already knew what Helena was going to say, "Lena—"

" _Shut up,"_ Helena quickly interfered, her hand perfectly landing on Diana's cheek in a quick, harmless slap, "I'm doing the talking now."

"Okay, how in the Void did you manage to know where to hit?" Leona quickly questioned, both amazed and terrified at her lover's best friend.

Helena didn't even bother turning her head at the sound, "I've had years upon years of training in the art of slapping imbeciles, Leona. I've mastered the skill." Without warning, she took a quick step towards the Sun's Warrior, hitting her cheek just as flawlessly as she had done with Diana. "See? A honed ability of mine. Now let me speak."

Leona gasped, "That could be considered heresy!" She said in a joking tone.

But Helena still glared in her direction, "I swear to the Sun and the Moon, Leona, I'm  _not_  in the mood for it right now."

The former Ra-Horak gulped. "Okay," she mumbled, letting the Priestess win.

As Helena stood right in front of Riven, placing both of her hands on the woman's shoulders, the Noxian had to hide her smile, even bite her lip so as to prevent it from escaping; Noxians were programmed to admire strength and if there was something that Helena had in excess was exactly that.

Strength. Not of body, but of mind. Of will.

Of soul.

She could admire that.

"You're about to go to far away lands for a reason only  _you_ know, because Diana is the worst best friend a curious girl could ever have and refuses to tell me your secrets." She raised a brow, then, "Or maybe she replaced me and now  _you_ are her best friend, which means I will have to eliminate you, eventually, and kill Diana afterwards for her betrayal." She let out a quick  _Shhh_ at the sound of Diana's complaint upon hearing her words.

Helena sighed, "I don't really know a lot about you, Riven, except for a few things that are somewhat associated to that name of yours. Even then, I don't care for such stories, for they do not reflect who you  _want_ to be." Blank eyes somehow managed to aim at bloody ones, the feeling it brought with it making Riven gulp. "So we're basically two strangers, standing in front of each other. One with, I've been told, white hair, and the other with white eyes."

A sad smile planted itself on her lips. "Maybe it's too much to ask of you. Maybe it's not even close to being enough. I will never really know. Right now, I'm putting any hopes I have of recovering my sight on someone I  _don't even know,_ all hopes of fixing all the damage done to my mind throughout years, too _._ " She put her hands on Riven's cheeks, "I've been told a Celestial with healing powers hides in Ionia. My best friend and her idiot girlfriend can't go look for her themselves because they've proved themselves unworthy of stepping on Ionian lands again, but  _you_ are a whole other story."

A very much alive plea hid behind dead pupils. "I don't need my sight anymore, but the idea of being free of this never ending darkness is very appealing, let alone clearing the eternal fog that hides on my brain. If you could do me such a favor, bring that Celestial to me, I'd forever be in your debt."

Then Riven's hands were on hers, gently guiding them down. Helena frowned at the feeling of cold armor on one, handwraps on the other, her fingers exposed. "Maybe, you could heal yourself too," She let out as she felt the burnt skin, then locked her eyes on Riven's, an eerie feeling taking over as she smiled and, on a soft voice, said, "Though it's been whispered into my ear that the healing that you need to do is of another nature."

Riven quickly brought her hands back, releasing them from Helena's, staring as her smirk slowly became subtler.

Helena chuckled. "I have to leave, but please, consider doing me this favor, Riven." She bowed her head, "Safe travels, from me, Fay and the others."

Despite the ominous feeling that had taken over, Riven bowed, "Thank you, High Priestess. Thank Fay and the rest for their wishes, too."

And just like that, Helena slowly walked away, Riven looking at her as she did so.

"I'm sorry for that," Diana said when she was gone, making the Noxian turn to look at her. "I understand that whenever our Goddesses talk to her, she gets all…" She trailed off as she looked for a word.

"Creepy." Leona offered. "Very creepy."

" _Creepy,"_ Diana repeated, "Thank you."

"Not a problem."

Riven shrugged, "It wouldn't be the strangest thing that's happened to me in my life. Don't worry about it."

The Chosen of the Moon smiled. "Why don't we take this outside?" Diana asked her.

"Good idea," Leona answered for her, a lazy smile on her lips. She opened the gates for them, "I'll catch up with you in a minute," She told them, letting Diana walk out, Riven following her.

A carriage was already waiting for her, young stallions on the front and a Ra-Horak getting them ready to set off.

"Are you ready for the trip?" Diana asked her as they watched her driver make the final preparations.

"Do you want me to be honest or to lie?" Riven quickly asked back, watching Diana as the Chosen raised a brow before letting out a quick,  _Honesty,_ "Not ready. At all." Riven said, a nervous chuckle coming out of her as she said so, "I hope I feel at least a bit more prepared on my days traveling to Ionia, but I don't think that will be the case."

Diana laughed, "You're tough, Riven. I'm sure you'll be fine."

"May I ask you why you're all geared up?" Riven blurted out, not being able to handle it anymore.

There was a certain sadness to the other woman's eyes. "Considering you're asking, I'm guessing you don't need a partner in your travels?"

Riven came to stood in front of Diana, "As much as it pains me to say so, I think this is a journey that I must travel on my own, Di."

But Diana had been prepared for it, evident in the smile on her lips, despite the crestfallen demeanor. "I feared you'd say that, which is why I brought you this."

Riven watched as Diana took off a small silver chain from around her neck, perfectly hidden by her armor. She offered it to the Noxian, who took it between her hands and examined it with a frown on her face; simple enough, the thin, silver chain had a small charm of the same color hanging from it.

"A Lunari charm?" Riven questioned, raising a brow as she glanced at Diana, momentarily.

"It's the Moon's symbol. Us Empyreans display it fused with the Sun's, but there was, indeed, a cult that used it to represent themselves. The Lunari don't exist anymore, but the Moon still rises." Diana casually said, smirking at Riven's raised brow.

But then she wasn't as playful, getting serious all of a sudden, her hands bringing Riven's together, the necklace caught between them. "I want you to wear it, so that you remember you might be traveling alone, but you're not on your own, for I'll always be with you, by your side." A hint of a smirk, "Around your neck."

"Like a noose."

Diana shoved her, but grinned at the laugh that escaped the Noxian.

Then they calmed down and she continued talking, "And if you ever feel like there's a burden in your chest, a victory you want to celebrate… Whatever reason it may be, I want you to pray." She said, a plea in her eyes. "Pray, whatever you want to tell me, kneel at night and pray to the Moon and I promise you I'll be listening." Then something a bit more intense, darker, even, took a hold of her as she added, "And if you ever need my help, call my name at any time of day, beg for me and I swear to my Goddesses that I'll be there in the blink of an eye and I'll hunt your enemies down like a demon let loose."

Riven laughed at that, "A bit too much, don't you think?"

Diana's expression turned to a scowl, "Never enough," She said, a hint of a smile appearing on her lips, before laughing along with Riven. "But I must admit that I hope you never have the need to request my aid like that."

"Not to be rude, but I hope the same thing."

There was a smile on Diana's lips, "I don't think you'll need it, anyway."

And maybe it had been the tenderness on her voice, maybe it had been the simple fact that she could smile at the Noxian that easily, Riven wasn't sure, but didn't question it either as she felt an impulse and let herself follow through with it, crushing her in a tight embrace, her face against the Empyrean's neck, as if hiding from the World, its' duties and obligations.

"Thank you for being my friend when I needed you the most."

Diana's arms snaked around her frame as she returned the embrace, bringing her impossibly close. "I'm going to miss you," She whispered back, the sound watery with the sadness she felt due to her friend's departure.

"I already do," Riven confessed, pulling back with a smile, her hands quickly cupping Diana's face, her thumbs brushing away her tears, "Don't cry or you'll make me do the same," Came the warning.

Despite the tear tracks on her face, Diana chuckled, "Too late. There's more from where those came from."

Riven chuckled, well aware that her eyes were glassy, too.

One of Diana's hands came up and met with Riven's, gently grabbing the necklace that hung from it. "Let me put this on you," She commanded, making Riven let go of the silver chain, bowing to let the Chosen of the Moon put it around her neck. "There we go," She mumbled, watching as Riven came up once more.

"Well," They heard Leona say as she approached them. "Time to go, Riven." She said, her eyes going from one girl to the other, a fond smile on her lips and, to Riven's quiet surprise, pain in her eyes, too. "Have you two finished saying your goodbyes?"

Diana nodded, but Riven calmly brought her hands to the silver haired woman's face once more, bringing her closer and planting a kiss on her cheek, making her smile. "You're not coming to the carriage to bid me farewell?" The Noxian shot.

Diana shook her head. "Hell, no. I will cry harder."

"I'll do it for her," Leona said, looking at Riven with that warmth that was so characteristic of her.

They slowly walked towards the carriage, leaving Diana behind. Riven could feel Leona's eyes on her, "Are you afraid?" She heard her ask once Diana was out of earshot.

Riven felt as if her heart would best its' way out of her chest with how quickly and strongly it was beating. "I must be."

"Good." Leona said, earning an inquisitive look from the Noxian at her one-word statement. She smirked at her, "It means you're not stupid."

Despite the certain darkness that could be perceived from her words, Riven laughed before shrugging, "I don't really know where I'm going to with this, but I'm going anyways."

"Whether Irelia asked for your presence just to slap you or to sing your praises, you don't really have a choice," Leona said, "You  _must_ go. Your soul needs the closure that only her can provide." She watched her as the warrior nodded her head, "But besides duty and fear, how do you feel about leaving?"

"Sad. Very sad. Specially now after seeing Diana's reaction."

"Well, you're very special for her." Leona told her as they neared the carriage. "And I must say, I'll miss you too, Riven."

The Noxian couldn't help the surprise on her features as she looked at Leona, "I didn't think you thought of me so dearly."

"Well, it goes to show that, in a year and a half living together, you have learned nothing about me." Leona said, hiding her faint disappointment but her honesty making it hard for it not to shine through at least a bit, "You did more for me than I'll ever even know and I'll forever be grateful for that and for  _you,_ Riven," Then, a smirk on her face as she added, "Even if you dream of bedding my lover."

Riven's face automatically turned red, her eyes open wide. "How do you—" She quickly turned to look at the driver, who seemed to be too busy to really pay them any mind, before looking back at Leona, " _Did Diana tell you!?"_ She asked in a hurried whisper.

"I don't need her to tell me when your room is so close to ours," Leona responded lowly, too, "All I had to do was walk past your door and I'd hear you  _moaning_ her name." She raised a brow, "Why do you think I never questioned why you wanted to change rooms and go to one a little bit further away from ours?" Riven was shaking her head, not really sure of what to say, but Leona saved her the trouble, putting a hand on her shoulder, "Relax, it's okay. I mean,  _I get it,"_ She looked at Diana from where she stood, longing evident in her eyes. "I love her for who she is, but the  _physical_ aspect of the relationship is also very well covered."

"Yeah, I know," Riven shot back, an awkward, exaggerated smile on her face at Leona's inquisitive look as she said, "Our rooms were really close, remember?"

It was Leona's turn to blush, though she wore it with pride and a grin on her lips. "I will not apologize. I do what I must."

Riven laughed, shaking her head. "You're incorregible."

"Says you."

And there was a smile on the Noxian's face. "I'm going to miss you."

Leona quickly hugged her, catching her off guard, "I'll miss you too." She said, before letting go, "Take care of yourself out there, will you?"

Riven nodded her head, "Will do."

So Leona watched her as she entered the carriage and the driver manipulated the reins, the horses slowly starting their journey.

Riven looked through the back window of the coach, watching as Leona walked towards Diana and, together, waved her off, Leona with a knowing look to her face, Diana with tears in her eyes and a grin on her lips.

Riven waved back and, once they weren't visible anymore, she got comfortable, letting out a shaky breath from between her lips.

It was going to be a long trip.

* * *

_Diana._

_I don't know if you can hear me. Consider tonight's prayers a test._

_We're still on the road. I'm on my seat, my eyes closed, my hands clasped around the charm you gave me. I'm concentrating really hard, so this had better work or else we're going to have a problem, the whole praying thing and I._

_We stopped for a bit in the west side of Shurima to rest, but the driver is hellbent on getting me there as soon as possible, so we're already on the road. We must be halfway through Shurima, already._

_Not that I'm not okay with it. On the contrary, I really appreciate his eagerness to get me there. I want to get this done with so I can go back to Leona and you. Being alone in between this four walls and atop these four wheels for so many hours has made me realize that I, indeed, want to be part of the Bloodmoon. Maybe even the Ra-Horak. Maybe._

_Don't tell Leona I said that._

_Now, I'm realizing my eyelids are heavy and it feels very good to keep my eyes closed, so it must mean I'm tired. I'll try to keep you updated about my whereabouts and other things like that._

_I miss you, but I think this is necessary for me to heal._

_I'll call it a night, now. I'll_ talk  _to you tomorrow._

* * *

_Diana._

_We're already out of Shurima._

_Making our way through the forest east of it, now._

_Did you know there are…_ shapeshifters  _in the woods?_

 _I_ swear  _I saw a woman turn into a cougar. I also saw a very colorful being which I would have liked, were it not for the fact that she took one look at me and somehow_ stole  _my appearance._

 _I hope this doesn't present a problem in the future. To a lot of people, I'm still dead. It_ would  _be funny to see them look into a ghost's eyes, though._

_I wonder if you've crossed paths with any of them before. I wonder if the identity thief has stolen your appearance, too._

_Leona would be delighted. You, on the other hand, I know you'd be pissed._

_I'm tired, I'll pray some more tomorrow._

* * *

"My lady, we've arrived at Mudtown."

Riven woke up at the sound of the driver's voice, somewhat taken aback by being called a  _lady._ Still, she got out of the carriage, since he seemed to want her to do so.

They were in a very small village right next to the continent's northwest end, a small wooden dock built by the shore with a few boats tied to it, the Guardian's Sea extending into the horizon.

"This is where  _my_ journey ends," The driver told her before pointing at a man who was idly standing by the docks, "That man over there will take you to Ionia from here. I shall return home to Targon."

Riven nodded her head, "Very well," She patted her driver on the back, "Thank you, safe travels."

"Good luck on where your travels take you to."

And just like that, he got in the carriage and left Riven behind.

The Noxian slowly walked towards the docks in the small, humble town, ignoring the furtive glances that she knew she was on the receiving end of. Being the only one so heavily armored, she was bound to be the most precious thing wandering eyes would land on and latch onto, staring at her, making her feel in her very core that they could look into her soul, know which her place of birth actually was, nevermind the fact that, with such a Targonian armor, she looked like a Rakkor, maybe even the Chosen of the Moon herself.

_No._

And in those lands, nobody liked Noxus.

_But does anyone, anywhere, like Noxus?_

She didn't think so.

She approached the man by the docks, "Good evening," She called out, making him turn to look at her, careful enough to hide her accent.

A man who looked to be around his forties stared back, black eyes and black hair, a scar on his lip and a captain's clothes on his body, as stained and broken as a pirate's, as bougie yet worn out as a former, prestigious sailor's.

Despite his slovenly looks, he smiled at her. "You must be the Empyrean I've been paid to take to Ionia."

_He doesn't know my name._

Riven nodded her head and offered him her hand, "My name's Helena," She lied, protecting her identity from anyone who might be listening, not wishing to let anybody else know that Riven, the former Hand of Noxus, was still very much alive and was now an  _Empyrean._

The captain took her hand and gave it one firm shake. "I'm Captain Leith. Follow me." He motioned for her as he turned around and walked through the docks, Riven following closely behind.

Leith took her to a medium sized ship, big enough not to be a boat but small enough to sail by unnoticed, the name  _Nereus_ written on its' stern, its' sails a pristine white, the ship looking perfectly, squeaky clean, a stark contrast to its' owner. "We will set sail through the Guardian Sea to Ionia's southern naval entry. We will sail as fast as possible, because the trip should be easy, but sailing between Noxus and Bilgewater, one never knows what they may find."

Riven nodded. "I think it's a good idea."

Then, Leith was looking at her with narrow, calculating eyes. "Do I have to smuggle you in?"

"What?" She asked instinctively, "No. I'm expected."

The captain nodded, "Okay, good. Just making sure." He got on the ship, "All aboard, right foot first." He said to Riven in a lighthearted manner, his smile growing in size as he saw her fulfill his demand.

As he got ready to depart, Riven helped him undock the ship, untying the ropes that kept it by the shore. "So, the trip's already been paid for?"

Leith nodded as he coiled the lines, "A lady with long hair, color much like yours, a mark on her forehead." He recalled vaguely. "She paid, one way to Ionia, then said a woman with red eyes would be taking it, that she'd arrive a few days later." He smiled at Riven as he set the lines on the ship's deck, "Then you waltz in with those bloody eyes, it wasn't hard for me to tell it was you."

Riven chuckled, "Not many with red eyes out there." She casually let out, her mind already somewhere else.

"Not really." He replied, before opening up the sails, "I hope you're ready to go." He said as the ship slowly moved away from the shore.

Riven watched as the land slowly moved away, the ship being completely surrounded by water. "I am."

* * *

_Diana._

_The night I told you about me leaving Targon the following day. You came to Mudtown and already left everything prepared, didn't you? What happened with_ My youth is fleeting and I want to sleep?  _Clearly, you forgot about it as you snuck out again before the night was done._

_Thank you. I insist on the fact that you're the friend I've always needed._

_I miss you._

* * *

_I'm going to have the_ worst  _disembarkment syndrome._

_The sailing is tranquil enough, but not smooth at all. Too many waves._

_I hope we arrive soon._

_I think I can see land already, very far away though._

* * *

There were way  _too many_ soldiers at the docks for Leith to feel comfortable. Ionians weren't too fond of foreigners after the Noxian Invasion and the Empyrean incident.

"Identification and motive of visit, Captain?" One of them asked him.

"Captain Leith," He told them, "And I'm in Ionia only for a few minutes, Sir. I came here just to bring a woman to these lands and then I'm gone." He said, his eyes moving towards Riven as the warrior came out of her cabin, her eyes landing on the soldiers.

The soldiers automatically aimed their bows at her, ready to shoot.

Even Leith flinched.

Riven smiled at them all, "I missed you all, too."

"Guards! Stand down. It's alright."

Her breath hitched at the sound of that voice.

"She's my personal guest."

She watched as Irelia suddenly came to view, standing behind those guards, their bowstrings not as tense as they stopped taking aim at her, though they still watched her warily.

The Captain of the Guard watched the Noxian as she thanked Leith for his services, before getting out of the ship, slowly making her way towards her, the guards opening up as she made her way through and the ship sailed away.

Irelia nodded her head a bit, "Hello, Riven."

Riven mimicked her, only more profusely. "Irelia."

"I see you finally decided to come back." Turning around before she could respond, the Captain moved towards the gates that led Ionia. "Follow me."

So, trailing behind her like a lost dog, Riven entered the country.

The woman of her nightmares and dreams guiding her through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all, enjoying the weather?


	4. Give Answers, Ask Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riven and Irelia have a little chat.

"How was the trip?"

Riven snapped out of the quiet trance she had fallen into at the sound of Irelia's voice, her eyes wandering the Placidium as they entered it, the whole way there being dead silent as Irelia marched and she followed, her ungloved hand clenched around her necklace.

"Uneventful enough." Riven responded absentmindedly as she looked around, the building being the same one it had been the last time, but somehow looking slightly different, as if it were a replica, only looked at from a minimally dissimilar point of view. "Definitely more uneventful than our walk here."

"With the Lunar Revel festivities being over for the year, people leave the blissful ignorance of celebration behind, their memories working a bit better than usual." She glanced at Riven over her shoulder, "Those who know what your name is fear you and those who don't know a thing about you are wary of foreigners." She shrugged, "It's not personal, but after having our lands attacked twice already, last time with both Rakkorians and Demacians added to the equation…"

"I can understand." Riven concluded. "I didn't really care for the unwanted attention."

"That's good," Irelia responded as she looked forwards, easily navigating the Placidium's corridors, before coming to a stop in front of a wooden door. Pushing it open, she ushered Riven inside.

The Noxian studied what seemed to be Irelia's office. A big room, shelves stacked with books upon books decorated the wall to her right, a big desk right in front of it, a chair giving it its' back, looking at the opposite wall, maps and scrolls and papers and books all over the desktop. A picture of her with her parents and her brother hung from the one at the far end, the strongest family in all of Ionia, in all of their splendor, right above a wide window that went from one wall to the other, the country on display on the other side of it. On the wall to her left, a fireplace stood, the logs on it still burning, two settees flanking it, diagonally confronted. Warm, toned down reds and browns all over the room, the flame that still remained highlighting the colors.

"Leaving a fire unattended like that can be dangerous," Riven mused out loud.

"I wasn't gone for long," Irelia responded, entering the office and closing the door behind her, "Come," She said, walking towards the sofas, sitting on the one further from the door, her eyes following Riven while she walked to the one opposite to hers.

"How come you were at the docks today, then?" She asked as she sat down.

"See the window behind me?" Irelia asked her, her eyes never leaving red ones. When Riven looked at it and nodded, she added, "I can see the southern docks from here." The Captain relaxed onto her seat, looking at the fire that still burned.

Riven's eyes were still on the window, "It still doesn't explain—"

"Ever since I heard the news of the Solari and Lunari being disbanded, the Chosen of the Sun and the Chosen of the Moon finally being united under the same banner, I've awaited your return." Irelia said, her hands clasped right in front of her face, a frown on her young features. "Every time I saw a ship approach those docks from this window, I'd go there and receive the travelers myself." She closed her eyes, "I always hoped it was you but for a long time it wasn't." She opened her eyes, now locked on red ones, "Until today, which begs the question," She leaned forwards, resting her forearms on her legs as she stared intensely at Riven, "What made you finally come to Ionia, Riven?"

She wasn't certain whether Irelia knew just how much weight the information she had just given up so freely had. Anyone could have ignored it, but Riven couldn't: Irelia had, for a year and a half, abandoned every and any task that was at her hand at the moment she saw a ship approaching Ionia, only to walk down the steps towards the docks and receive who she had always hoped was Riven, only to be proven wrong, go back to the Placidium and resume her doings, waiting for the process to be repeated once more whenever another ship came.

Riven stared into those cold, blue eyes, the broken Exile with her pieces somewhat put together by the Moon gone for a minute, the old Leader of the Noxian troops resurfacing for a minute, if only for her to use her strategist's mind, trying to figure out Irelia, her expressions, her demeanor, her  _nature,_ trying to see more in what she was looking at.

Read her enemy and see what she'd let on without even knowing.

Irelia stared back, her breathing relaxed, a collected demeanor, her game face on.

She  _knew_ Riven was trying to read her.

It was not an uneven match: The ghost of the Hand of Noxus was staring into the very alive eyes of the Ionian Captain of the Guard.

Same roles, different lands.

Only Irelia was the unofficial Ruler of Ionia, too. Certainly, not an easy title to earn.

 _Maybe it_ is  _an unfair match._

_For me._

But a thing was true; no matter how important Irelia deemed the information she had given her, it was information that Riven knew to be  _true_ and that she had  _asked_ for _._ She decided it was only fair that she returned the favor.

_A game of questions and answers, like before._

_And now it's my turn._

"I was comfortable where I was." Riven began, looking away from the Captain, her eyes glued to the dancing flames. "Living in Targon, serving the Empyreans as Diana's—"

"Pet?"

"Right hand," Riven continued, instinctively glaring at Irelia, even as the Captain formed a small  _Oh_ with her mouth.

"I must admit your relationship with Diana has been the topic of many rumours around here." Irelia said with a sly smirk on her lips as she relaxed onto her seat. "A Noxian waltzes in with the Chosen of the Moon pretty much by her side and said Celestial protects her basically with her life?  _Quite interesting."_

It dawned on Riven that the Ionian Leader was taunting her.

"My relationship with Diana is one of friendship." Riven said, her eyes closed so as to shut out the Ionian's cocky expression. "If you're looking for something  _else,_ try asking Leona about it."

Irelia raised a brow, "The Chosen of the Sun  _and_ the Chosen of the Moon, together?" She asked, "Who would have thought about it, right?"

The sarcasm in her voice did not go unnoticed, but Riven still gave no response to it, disregarding it completely. "In Targon I wasn't the Exiled Noxian, but Diana's right hand. A friend, someone who they all could rely on." Riven picked up the topic once more, her eyes opening to land on the fire again. "I grew comfortable there, learning with them, training with them, helping them out and letting them help me sometimes. Still, at night, it was the same dream, over and over again."

She felt the change in Irelia's demeanor, the arrogance gone, only to show a deadly seriousness.

Riven laid back on her seat, looking at Irelia dead in the eyes, "Me, fighting against you, the blood of both your compatriots and mine all over the place. In my dream, I can't really see the Crimson Elite nor the Ionians who fought by your side, I can only see you and feel my desire to kill you, though a side of me wishes I didn't have to." She shook her head and looked away, "It's hard to explain. In any case, the dream is always the same; we fight until that arrow appears on the sky before landing and finishing it all, waking me up in the process."

Riven moved her head a bit, cracking her neck as she did so, sighing at the tension released. "But last time I had that dream, the ending was different. You see, I don't know how nor why, but somehow you managed to stop that arrow from landing." She looked into those blue eyes once more, "I know it was you." She blinked hard, "Somehow, the arrow, the scenery itself disappeared and it was only you and I. Then, you asked me how long until I took your offer." The intensity that had lived in her eyes vanished, "So, when I woke up, I decided it was time."

Irelia raised a brow. "All because of a dream that didn't go as you expected it?"

"Someone told me not to underestimate what our souls try to tell us. I think mine was telling me it was time I came here."

"Who told you that?"

She had given her enough truths, already, so Riven shrugged. "Someone." She offered, trying not to smirk at the small failure in Irelia's perfect composure, the look of irritation being visible, if only for a split second.

So, seeing her chance, she took it.

"Why would you like to know that?" She asked innocently enough, considering it was  _her_ turn in the game to ask questions and receive answers, leaning forwards just like Irelia did.

Then she recalled something she had heard Diana say to some Ionian guard a long time ago, something regarding Irelia's dreams.

"Is it that, maybe, we've been having the same kind of dreams, Irelia?"

She watched as the Ionian's eyes roamed her figure, moving from those crimson irises, examining her body, her armor, the gauntlet on her right hand and the bandages on her left, the blade that remained on her side.

"I see you left your rags behind. You're all dressed up, now." Irelia casually noted, choosing not to answer Riven's question.

Riven inspected herself, "Yeah, that I did." She said, before looking at Irelia once more. "After a while with the Rakkor, I reached the conclusion that, for me to let go of my past, I had to let go of everything that tied me to it; material and not."

"Seems some things are harder to let go of than others, aren't they?"

Riven didn't need to follow her eyes to know she was looking at her blade, nevermind the spiritual burden, the demons that tried to haunt her into an early grave. "I can let go of my rags, my title, my nationality, my fame, my memories, everything and anything, but I can't let go of my sword."

Irelia's head lolled to a side. "Too proud to let it go?"

"This blade is the source of my power, my strength, what made me and  _still_ makes me—"

"Riven, the Queen of the Noxian troops." Irelia said, her gaze burning holes into Riven's own eyes.

It was a slap to the face.

Still, Riven tried, "Without it, I'm not—"

"A true Noxian," Irelia finished for her, that arrogant look back on her face as she smirked, laying back on her seat, "More specifically, the Hand of Noxus herself."

Riven stared at her, this time being her the unreadable one.

Irelia held it for a second, before raising a brow, "Doesn't affect you, I see?"

Riven smirked back at her, "Not like it used to."

"You're a walking contradiction, Riven." Irelia said to her. "You say you want to let go of your past, yet you don't abandon the one thing that made you who you were." She raised her brows, "The one thing that  _still_ makes you who you are."

Riven shook her head, "It doesn't—"

"But it  _does,_ you see," Irelia said, hunching forwards again. "I recognized you  _only_ because of that blade, so long ago, when you first came here with the Empyreans. Not only do you choose not to let go of it, you  _still_ allow it to be your brand, to define you."

Riven closed her eyes, letting out a long exhale, "I don't—"

"And even then," Irelia continued, disregarding her completely. "I don't think your solution is the best.  _Letting go_ of your past by, what, burying it? Abandoning it?"

"It's better than  _your_ way of solving the same problem, Irelia."

Irelia's cocky air was suddenly gone, Riven finally biting back, Noxian teeth bared against so much barking by the Ionian.

Riven stared at her with a faint frown to her features, her eyes roaming the Captain's figure, studying that clothing of hers that looked nothing like armor yet served her efficiently enough. "I acknowledge I've got a problem in between my hands and, despite it not being the best answer, I try to solve it, somehow. You, on the other hand, ignore it completely and go as far as pretending there is no problem whatsoever. Tell me, Captain, if ignorance is bliss and you're blissfully ignorant while I just wish I were, between you and I," She looked into Irelia's blue eyes, "Who's the real fool?"

It had been a perfect riposte.

"I never called you a fool."

"Not directly, unlike I just did with you."

Another thrust to Irelia's chest.

Riven didn't dare think of it, for she knew her mind would scream at her how bad of an idea taunting the Ionian Captain was.

Irelia watched her in silence, no emotion on her face.

"Your chambers are located at the west wing of the Placidium," She suddenly said, "Along with the rest of the royal guard's soldiers. You'll sleep, wake, eat and train with them. If I hear a word of you causing trouble, you're out." She stood up and slowly made her way towards the door, but stopped abruptly. "Oh, I almost forget."

Riven watched as Irelia quickly walked up to her and, without any kind of warning whatsoever, slapped her across the face, her open palm connecting with Riven's cheek with a loud clapping sound.

"I don't know how things are done in Noxus nor Targon but over here, Riven, we try not to talk about things we know nothing about, specially if we don't even try to get informed about them before." Irelia let out in a low, growling voice at the Noxian's face. "So you'd best stop talking shit, unless you want to keep on being hit."

Then the ruthless Captain straightened up and moved towards the door once more—

"Why did you tell me to come back here?"

Irelia stared at the wooden door for a second.

"I don't know."

Riven heard the door close with a loud bang behind her.

* * *

_Diana._

_I have no clue whether praying during the day will make my thoughts be heard by Leona instead or not. In any case, I have a message for her, if you could deliver it._

_Tell her that between the two motives she speculated Irelia could have to ask for my return, the former was the right one._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is kicking my ass but I will still try to deliver.
> 
> How are y'all? and how are y'all liking the fic thus far? leave me ur thoughts!


	5. Comes around, Goes Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riven is forced to go back to her roots as a soldier for a while, only with the knowledge for a full blown leader.

The guards that escorted her to the Placidium's west wing did not question the red mark that was still imprinted on her face.

They walked through the palace in silence, not even looking at her as they guided the Noxian throughout the halls, darkness taking over the skies outside.

They all stepped aside as they came to a stop in front of a wooden door, which Riven moved towards to push open.

The room was big but not very colorful in any way, with only six bunk beds distributed in its' space.

Eleven roommates that stared at her as she walked in.

 _Glared._ That  _glared_ at her as she walked in.

_Great._

Two rooms of twelve soldiers each. Riven had known that much.

She hadn't expected to be part of those twenty-four soldiers. She had imagined she'd be an accidental addition, not an actual part of the equation.

With her own room, not a shared one.

And shared with eleven other people, nonetheless.

_Fun._

She made her way through the room slowly, not even blinking as the door was shut closed. Everyone in it was staring at her, protectively moving near their own beds, as if marking territory.

It made it easier for her to identify the one bunk that still had one free spot.

She walked towards it, looking at both beds and realizing with no short amount of annoyance the one on top was taken, fresh clothes already waiting for her on top of the one below the one she actually wanted.

"Which one."

She turned to her right at the sound of a somehow brash yet weak voice, as unpleasant as cracking knuckles, as if whoever owned it was still going through puberty, their vocal cords still adapting to the changes.

She came face to face with a surprisingly tall, lanky boy, definitely not older than her, his skin a few shades darker than hers, with brown eyes and hair, who stared into her red eyes with a disturbing intensity.

She frowned, "Huh?"

He closed his eyes as he gulped once, before opening them again, that eerie stare back in place as he repeated, "Which bed do you want." With that broken, shifting voice of his, not even intoning the phrase as a question.

He had vestiges of an accent she recognized, the clues being so few, so vague that she couldn't pinpoint exactly where from,but still being present enough she could tell he was not Ionian by birth.

Riven didn't smirk, didn't make a face as she said, "The top one."

Upon hearing her, the boy turned to the top bed, taking his stuff from it and throwing it all on the bed underneath it, not before taking what appeared to be Riven's new clothes from the unused bed, carefully placing them on the one that used to be his.

The Noxian unstrapped her sword from her side and placed it on the bed, the piece of broken blade she wielded being still hidden inside the peculiar scabbard she had been gifted with in Targon.

She could feel everyone's eyes on her, even her bunk partner's as he laid on his bed, while she carefully, slowly started to manipulate her armor's straps, unlocking them.

"There's a chest at the end of the bunk for you to put your stuff." Her partner quickly informed her as he took notice of the calculating look in her eye as she wondered where she'd place her belongings. "The one on the other end of it is mine."

Riven glanced at him for a brief moment, nodding her head once, before starting to remove her armor, gently laying it inside the chest.

Her blade remained on her bed, though.

She was only in her undergarments, her hands still bandaged, making a quick inspection of the simple-looking Ionian robes as she felt some shuffling going on behind her back.

"You're not welcome here."

She stopped what she was doing.

Even the air appeared to go still.

Riven looked over her shoulder.

All of her other roommates were standing there, glaring at her.

"I'm not welcome?"

"No, you're not."

She raised a brow, her face going back to neutral as she turned and looked at the man who had talked, "Says who?"

The bull-necked man bared his teeth, his nostrils flaring as he took a few stomping steps towards her, Riven not flinching nor backing down, not even blinking as he came face to face with her, being half a head taller.

"We don't like your kind around here, so you'd better give it up soon and leave,  _Noxian."_

The word had been said with such disgust, as if it stained his tongue on its' way out through his mouth, that Riven couldn't help the amusement she felt at it, a small smirk tugging at her lip in what appeared to be a quick twitch of the corner of her mouth.

"My  _kind_ you say, as if we weren't both humans, you and I."

"You're not a human," She heard a woman say from somewhere behind the muscle-bound man she had in front of her, "You might be a ghost, a demon, whatever, but not human. At all."

"You should have died in that war." Someone else said, an accusatory tone of sorts on his voice. "No one should be able to survive what you did."

"That's clearly necromancy of sorts. Blood magic." A third voice chimed in.

"According to all of your claims," Riven started, her red eyes still glued to the bouldering man's dark ones, "Irelia should be dead, too."

The bull she had in front of her took even one step closer, sharing breaths with her as he muttered a low, "Do  _not_ bring our Captain into this."

Despite the threatening tone, Riven didn't back off, a smile slowly growing on her lips as she said, "Maybe we're  _both_ demons, your  _Captain_  and I."

The man suddenly pushed her against the bed, holding her in place by her shoulders, a sneer on his face as he said, "Listen to me, you fucking shithead," He growled, growing angrier by the second as Riven's expression remained completely calm, neutral, "I don't care if the war didn't kill you, because I'll gladly kill you in  _here._ " He said, an unnatural viciousness to his demeanor, "You won't survive the training. I'll make sure of that."

Riven didn't care for his words. "Save a bit of breath, saliva and nonsense for tomorrow, brute," She told him, as calm as ever, "Or you'll run out of idle barking really soon, earlier into the training than you'd like."

The man pulled away for a second, his eyes darting to the Ionian who laid on the bed below hers, before huffing a laugh, "Placed with the rookie, close to the door for when you two want to run like the cowards you are." He looked at Riven once more, spitting on her face, "Early start tomorrow, Noxian."

Riven looked at him, not even wiping her face yet, not even blinking as she raised a brow, "Are you done or are you going to keep me here for longer?"

He released her and moved towards his bunk, the tension that had taken over the scenario slowly dissipating as everyone went to their own beds.

Riven climbed into hers, turning her back to the Ionians as she wiped her face with her hand.

She really didn't care for it. She had gotten used to the Rakkorian's gentle nature, loving it immediately from the get go, but she had never forgotten what the Noxian barracks were like; definitely far worse than whatever those wimps could throw at her, she knew.

That's why she could remain so calm, so collected: because she had lived through things that were Hell compared to what she was experiencing at the moment.

Still, it would take some getting used to it, some desintoxication from the addicting Targonian ways for her to really adapt to the soldier's life once more.

The  _Noxian_ soldier's life, for it was the only one she knew, no matter how awful it was and how badly she wanted to stay away from it.

Because she'd do whatever Irelia apparently wanted her to do, but she'd do it the way she knew. On her own terms.

She'd adapt. She'd survive.

She'd  _win._

And she'd back those who deserve it, bringing down those who don't.

Starting with the bull man.

* * *

It took her too long to fall asleep that night.

Riven had some sort of habit, an ability, maybe, that didn't allow her to sleep whenever there was a threat nearby her.

It had been an hour or two into the night before such threat was gone, the glaring eyes of her roommates finally leaving her alone, the woman finally being able to sleep.

She woke up as they did, though, for the cycle repeated itself, their glaring eyes disturbing her peace.

Twilight's first moments in the sky were on display by the time they got up. Riven quickly jumped out of her bed and got dressed, the Ionian robes she had been given fitting her just right, as if they had been made for her.

She subtly watched what the other Ionians were doing as they tidied up their beds, quietly doing so herself, realizing she'd have to abide by the Ionian way of life and its' rules if she was to stay.

She noticed they stood in attention by their bunks and she followed through with it, standing side by side with the lanky rookie, shoulders squared and chin up.

The door to her dorm was opened suddenly, a man and a woman walking in, their more adorned clothing showing off the fact that they were higher ups in the royal guard's ranks. Both blond with hazel eyes, the man more built than the woman, yet both looking strong, not in an unmeasured, monstrous way like the man who had confronted her the night before, though; they had a warrior's body, hard yet flexible, all hidden underneath their nonsensical prestige and layers of clothing.

"Good morning, newbies." The man said, making his way in before the woman did. "I see you're all acquaintanced, now." He added upon sighting Riven, before making his way from her bunk bed, the closest one to the door, towards the other end of the room, while his colleague, apparently his twin sister, for they looked uncannily alike, remained by Riven and the rookie's side, her eyes going from the lanky boy to the honed Noxian.

_Now that I think about it, though, he called us all newbies._

_They are just a bit more prepared than noodle boy here, apparently._

_Idiots._

"I'm Sao and this is my brother, Ban." The woman said, "And we're the ones in charge of turning you all into real warriors."

"Today we will put your skills to test," Ban said in a loud, leader's voice. "And it won't be easy by any means," He added, his eyes on red, Noxian ones for a brief second, before darting to the rookie's brown ones. "I advice giving your best."

_He clearly dislikes me, but believes the boy will fall behind._

"One of you is clearly not like the rest," His sister added, staring directly at Riven. "And it's common knowledge who the odd one out is." She came to stand right in front of her, Riven's pupils never meeting hers, for she was standing in attention, looking straight ahead, like she'd do in the Noxian barracks, discipline at its' finest. "No matter who she is and what she has done, she'll be treated like the rest of you, because no one is better nor worse than anybody else in here."

"And she's probably forgotten what being an actual soldier is like, anyway."

"Zeylos," Sao said, not even bothering to turn around to look at the gargantuan man who had spoken underneath his breath, "We will let it fly this one time, but open your big mouth again and you will be punished. She's among you as a newbie, whether you like it or not and that means you're equals. And, besides, she's already a step ahead." Riven felt the woman's eyes roam her figure, "While you're still undressed, she's already prepared for the day."

Riven didn't show her how pleased she was, remaining as neutral as humanly possible. Still, she appreciated it.

_So respect does indeed go both ways and Zeylos is the jackass' name._

_Perfect._

"Having said all of that," Ban said, "We begin right now."

"We'll see you at the training camps." Sao said, leaving the room first, her brother following closely behind.

As soon as they were gone, the Ionians scattered, quickly trying to gather their clothing, their only objective being to get dressed as fast as humanly possible.

Zeylos looked right on time to see Riven swaggering towards the door, already making her way out, the bull of a man growling at the sight as red eyes stared back, her smirk in place, while she opened and closed the door behind her.

Her smirk remained in place as she looked from the closed entry to the hallway that extended behind her, only for it to instantly vanish as she came face to face with Ban and Sao, both with arms crossed, staring at her with their game face on.

She instantly cleared her face from any emotion, standing straight in attention. "My lord, my lady."

The siblings looked at each other before snickering, "We are not lords, Noxian." Sao replied, the nickname Riven so easily earned carrying little to no real venom on her voice, her tongue dripping no poison.

"You shall address us as captains." He shrugged, "By our last name, we'd both be Captain Sato, so you may call us by our first name instead when you address us."

Riven frowned at that.

"Ask the question you have in mind." The man said, having noticed her expression.

"I thought Captain Lito was the only captain Ionia had."

The siblings looked at each other. "Irelia is the  _Captain of the Guard._ It's a special rank amongst captains."

"She's above us, if that's what you're asking, but we're above  _you."_

Riven nodded her head once, "That is of my knowledge, Captain Sao."

"Very well." The brother said, "Having solved the matters, we'll meet you at the training camp, soldier. Your shield-siblings will be joining you soon."

But Riven remained still, not moving from her spot, her frown still on her face.

The man sighed, "What is it, this time?"

"I do not know where the training camps are, Captain Ban."

He chuckled, his sister looking at her with curious eyes, "New to the neighborhood?" She asked the white haired woman.

Riven nodded her head once. "I arrived yesterday, Captain Sao."

The siblings exchanged a look, " _Very_ new to the neighborhood, then." Sao said, before looking at her once more. "Follow us." She commanded, falling into step with her brother, Riven following closely behind, "And loosen up, Noxian. It's alright." She looked at Riven over her shoulder, "We're not in your hometown."

Despite actually relaxing her shoulders, Riven responded, "I've been aware of such a fact since the very beginning, Captain Sao."

"Really?" She felt entertained by the white haired woman. "How so?"

"It's evident in the fact that I've respected you and your brother from the very beginning, instead of doing so only after you two have proven your worth to me."

Both siblings stopped walking at that.

They turned to look at her.

"I know how it must have sounded, but it was not meant like that." Riven automatically explained.

Ban came closer to her, standing face to face, using every inch of height he had over her to try and look more intimidating. "Then you'd better explain how it was meant to sound, because that certainly sounded insulting."

The underlying threat had not gone unnoticed by Riven.

"In Noxus, respect is earned through proof of strength. Superiors are superiors because they've shown you they have a certain strength that cannot be rivaled easily: they're stronger in combat, stronger in knowledge, stronger in will, anything goes as long as they prove themselves." She said as calmly as ever, "Soldiers won't listen to you until they know of your strength and it's only then when they'll start to see you as their leader. Military ranks don't mean anything until they're given worth by those who follow them."

"Well," Ban began, narrowing his eyes at her, "We're not in Noxus anymore,  _Noxian."_

Riven fought against her desire to smirk. "I believe that's already been made clear, Captain Ban."

She could see his desire to strangle her in his eyes, but did not look away.

The tension immediately dissipated like a diffused bomb as Sao patted her brother on the back. "Let it go, Ban. Don't be proud and admit she just got you, fair and square."

The man grumbled before turning and walking away, leaving a quiet Riven and a laughing Sao behind.

The Ionian captain shook her head. "Don't worry about it," She said to Riven, "He's just hot headed."

"I didn't mean—"

"I know,  _we_ know," Sao said, beginning to walk once more, "And it wasn't really disrespectful, but his pride doesn't allow him to let people talk to him like that." She smirked, "Quite the nerve you got going, by the way. Anyone else would have peed their pants if he growled at them like he did to you."

Riven didn't let herself feel pride at that. "I've handled bigger and scarier things before."

"I can only imagine," Sao commented, "But I'm the only one who will go as far as to try and imagine it," She added, before stepping tight in front of Riven, making her stop walking, placing her hands on each of her shoulders. "Right now, you're surrounded by people who would celebrate if they saw you drop dead. No one will have mercy with you in here, so let me give you some advice: keep a low profile and try not to rile everyone up. They already hate your guts, don't justify their hatred by giving them a reason."

Riven stared for a second, the Captain's rather kind words, the undertones of concern dancing inside her head for moment. "Can I talk to you, not as a soldier but as an equal?"

It was a request for the mandatory formalities to be left to a side for a second.

And, judging by Sao's squinty eyes, it was a risky move.

But the Ionian woman allowed it to happen. "Go for it."

Riven slowly started walking slowly once more, her shoulders more relaxed, a certain swagger to her step as she moved, the captain by her side. "I've been through hell and back, Sao." She said, talking to the woman as if she were an old friend. "I've fought my way to the top of the Noxian army and let me tell you that's not an easy thing to do:  _all of Noxus_  would bow before addressing me and, As you can tell by what I just told you and your brother, that means I'm  _tough_. Then, I went to war and saw everything I loved get killed in front of my eyes. My friends, my sense of honor, my love for my country. All of it, dead and gone."

Sao frowned, looking at the ground as she walked, unsure of where Riven was going to with it all, "I'm sorry for your loss."

"I'm not trying to make you pity me. I will not deny how horrible it's been, but at the same time I must admit it has liberated me." She looked at Sao once she felt her confused stare, "Don't get me wrong; the ghosts of my friends still haunt me and if I could go back and change what happened I'd do it in a heartbeat, but since I cannot do that and since I seem to refuse to die, I'm forced to carry on with the scars and the lessons that's given me."

And then it was Riven's turn to stand in front of Sao, making her halt, "I learned that life's too short to give a shit about things that don't actually matter which are, unsurprisingly so, most things, so I can't find it in me to care about what a few stupid soldiers think of me, let alone whether they hate me or not." She smiled, "Let them come thinking I'm all bark and no bite and watch them go home, crying because the mean Noxian kicked their asses."

Sao smirked at her, "I pity the idiot who thinks you're all bark and no bite, Noxian."

And there really wasn't any malice in the nickname, whenever it came from her.

Riven resumed walking once more, smiling as Sao did the same. "I honestly don't care for anyone's mercy, Captain, but I seem to have your favor." She gazed at Sao, "After all, you do try to imagine what I talk about, while others disregard it as soon as they can."

"Do not mistake my empathy for something it's not, Noxian." Sao replied, "I try not to judge you for your past but I do not like it, either." Then, a thought occurred to her, "Answer me something: if you care not about anything in life, then why are you here?"

"Life's too short to care about meaningless stuff, just like it's too short to ignore those things that actually do matter." Riven replied, "I said I don't care about nonsense, but I  _do_ worry about what I believe is important."

"And what's important for you?" Sao asked her, talking to her out of curiosity for the unknown that's presented in front of her.

Riven's eyes were unfocused as she answered truthfully without even having to think about it. "Peace of mind."

The Ionian nodded at her response, knowing very well that it was not a light answer.

"That's a good thing to care about."

"I know."

* * *

She really liked the scenario for their training, already.

The training camps were not too far away from the Placidium, set in a clearing that rested in the middle of a bushy forest. Wooden swords were laid on the ground to a side, with bows and quivers full of arrows to the opposite one.

Looking up at the trees, she could see the targets scattered all over them.

_Skill testing._

Every other soldier arrived a few moments after her. Most of them were glaring at her.

Most, but not all.

Her bunkmate didn't even look at her.

_Interesting._

"Okay, newbies!" Ban said in a loud, booming voice, making them all stand in attention in front of them in orderly rows. "Welcome to the trials."

"Before we start the training we must learn  _where to_ start, so we will test your skill in swordplay, archery and hand to hand combat to see just how much all of you know," Sao added.

"And before we begin the testing, you must warm up. Run around this clearing, thirty laps. Now!"

She could sense Sao's smirk and everyone's angry glares as she began running before anyone else did, quickly speeding to the beginning of the line.

Thirty laps later, no one could pass her.

They stood in front of the two captains once more, everyone with jagged breaths.

Everyone, but the Noxian, who stood tall, her breathing calm and collected.

"Seems one of you is in better shape than the rest," Sao mused out loud.

"And by the end of your training, that situation better change, newbies." Ban grunted, "Or else you won't be soldiers."

"You all know where the door is," Sao said with a smirk, "Try not to use it, though."

"I think we can begin with the testing now," Ban said, "And I'd love to begin with archery, but since you all seem to be tired enough you can't keep a steady hand, we will have to begin with something that requires a bit less precision." He smiled, "Swordplay."

"Each of you, pick a sword from the pile and line up once more." Sao said, watching as they all obeyed.

"The testing will be formatted as duels: two of you will fight each other. When one is defeated, the winner stays, the loser lines up again and a new opponent arises." Ban said, "And since  _you_ seem to be in perfect shape," He looked at Riven, "You begin." He commanded.

"I pick her opponent," Sao quickly said and Riven knew who she'd call as the Captain's eyes were laid on— "Zeylos, you're in."

The Noxian smirked as she walked to the center of the clearing, knowing the Ionian soldier was giving her a chance to get even with the bouldering man, the captain unaware of what he had done to her last night exactly but knowing full well just how little Zeylos could stand her.

She watched him step forwards too as she twirled her blade on her hand, moving it from one place to another, balancing it on two of her fingers before resuming the twirling once more.

Zeylos growled at her. "You think you're so good, huh?" He asked, "Showing off with stupid tricks—"

"She's not showing off, Zeylos." Sao said as she studied Noxus' perfect soldier. "If you actually  _knew_ a thing about your opponent, you would know that the kind of weapon she used to wield was, at least, ten times bigger and twenty times heavier." She smirked, "She's testing the sword's weight on her hands and you're already underestimating her."

The man blushed at his own mistake, embarrassment making him even sweatier than before.

Then Riven finished her testing and gripped her sword tight, it's end pointed at the man.

 _That_ was taunting.

He noticed.

He roared and lunged for her, his sword up above his head.

Riven waited until he was close enough—

She sidestepped him and brought her sword to the back of his neck, gently placing it against his skin, the touch so faint he didn't even feel it.

" _Time!"_ Ban roared, making Zeylos freeze. "Zeylos, you're out. Riven stays in."

The Ionian newbie looked at Ban with a frown, "What?"

"She defeated you." Ban stated.

Zeylos turned to look what was going on behind him.

Riven smirked at him, her sword still on his neck.

"She did what in training we call  _marking_ a blow. Her mark would have been a fatal hit; it means defeat in practice." Sao said. "So you're out, she's still in."

Zeylos stood up, his eyes darting from Riven, who brought the sword to her back as she placed her hands together behind her, to Sao and Ban, who merely waited for him to leave and let someone else come in his stead. "But, but—"

" _But, but!"_ Ban mocked him. "You heard us, newbie.  _Out!"_

Zeylos glared at her before hurriedly moving back to the line, his face beet red with embarrassment.

"You," Sao said, pointing at the girl who was the next one in line. "In."

So Riven raised her sword and, giving her a bit more of a fight than she gave Zeylos, she defeated her.

Then the next one came in and she defeated him.

And so on.

And so on.

One by one, Riven managed to defeat all of the soldiers who stood against her, none as quick as Zeylos, but mostly because of her own choice.

Then only one was left.

"You, Orlon!" Ban said, pointing at Riven's bunkmate. "You're next."

Riven looked at him.

_Orlon? Is that his name?_

The lanky boy slowly and clumsily made his way to the center, in front of Riven.

He wasn't even holding his sword right.

Riven brought hers up.

He looked nervous.

Slowly, she approached him.

He took a step back and swung his blade at her.

She met the blow with her own sword and made a swing of her own but, unlike the ones she had done against the other newbies, she exaggerated her blade's path, being unnaturally slow.

The kid saw it coming and met it with his blade, though his grip was so soft that Riven had to stop her movement forwards, for it would meet his body anyway if she didn't.

And so, step after step, second after second, Riven kept dealing predictable blows, letting him parry them.

Blow after blow, her attacks slowly but surely became faster, more vicious, more pestering as the boy began to catch her rhythm, but always falling out of step only by a second.

She saw him glare at her throughout the attacks.

She smirked. She had been trying to taunt him with the annoying, fast attacks, if only to—

The boy parried her latest attack and brought his wooden sword to her neck at a speed unexpected from the lanky boy.

She caught his sword with her free hand so as to prevent it from hitting her, only inches away from her neck, her wooden sword falling to the ground as she released it.

" _Time,"_ Sao said, "Riven loses, Orlon wins."

"That's not fair!" Zeylos roared from the crowd, "She let him win!"

"And how do you know that?" Riven asked him, turning to look at him, breathing a bit heavily, resting her hands on her knees, "I'm tired already, it was obvious he'd win."

Nevermind the fact that she hadn't broken a sweat, let alone lost her breath in all of the swordplay test.

"Fair or not, Orlon's strike would have been fatal. He wins." Sao finished the discussion. "Now, bow and arrow. Pick them up. Now!"

Riven smirked at Zeylos as she watched him growl and walk away, still grunting and mumbling underneath his breath.

She felt Orlon staring at her, but decided to ignore him for a while.

Despite minutes passing by, she could still feel his eyes on her.

_It's going to be a long day._

* * *

She dominated each test.

Archery hadn't been organized as a duel, but a target shooting practice instead.

Despite her desire to let Orlon win, she had no way of letting him do so, so she decided she could take home the prize. With little to no remorsement for the fact that she was crushing her  _colleagues,_ Riven hit bullseye in each target, before waiting for the rest to be ready and for the final test to begin.

And the final test was hand to hand combat, same format as swordplay, only the end of the fight would be achieved by one of the two fighters tapping out or being knocked out.

She would have to be meaner than with swordplay.

Not that she minded, of course.

And, naturally, she would be the first fighter in the test.

And, of course, Sao would choose Zeylos as her first opponent.

She brought her fists up, her guard at the ready as she watched him.

"What's the matter?" He asked, "You aren't confident enough to show off, now?"

She grabbed him by his wrist and placed her other hand on his chest, gripping the fabric of his robe.

The man looked at her hands and laughed, "What's this?" He asked, "What do you think—"

She pulled from his wrist and pushed his chest back, unbalancing him and, as he took one step backwards, she placed one of her feet on the back of his front leg's knee, bending it and successfully bringing him down to the ground.

He didn't have time to think as Riven quickly placed herself on top of him, her legs straddling his sides as she punched his face repeatedly, slowly escalating his body until her knees were pretty much aligned with his head—

She grabbed one of his hands and quickly swept one of her legs underneath his head, before laying herself on the ground and bringing him up.

She placed the foot of her swept leg on the back of the other's knee and locked it, pulling on the arm she had trapped around her legs, along with his head, bringing her hips up, too.

She watched his face turn red as she kept pulling on his arm and kept closing her legs around his neck and arm as much as she could, offering him a small smirk as she choked him—

Zeylos tapped out desperately and Riven immediately opened up the triangle she had formed with her legs, letting him breathe as she rolled backwards, away from him, standing up once more.

"Riven wins." Sao said, honestly amazed at the Noxian's bare handed fighting prowess.

And just like with swordplay, she defeated everyone else.

She was more merciful with the rest, though, not choking them as badly as she had done with Zeylos, opting for joint locks instead, knocking someone out only once but by accident, with a high roundhouse kick that ended up being a bit stronger than she had expected.

_Oh, well. I can't be deadly accurate on every detail._

Then Orlon was up.

She raised her fists and watched him do the same.

She started swinging.

He blocked. Miserably, but still blocked.

But this wasn't swordplay. It would take either a knockout or the perfect opportunity for her to tap out in order to let him win.

So she kept swinging and he kept swinging back.

But then she had enough.

He swung his left and she sneaked underneath it, taking his back.

Clasping her hands in front of him, she brought him up and, sweeping his feet with one of her own, she brought him to the ground face first.

She rolled him until he was on his back and laid her chest against his from the side.

She applied her weight as pressure against him until she felt him squirm, clearly uncomfortable.

He tried to push her off and she allowed him, following his motion by throwing herself backwards and landing on the ground, but not without bringing him with her, letting him place himself on top of her.

But she was aware of the fact that he probably knew only one way to properly choke someone else, so she made room between his legs and rolled until she was laying on her belly.

Feeling him try to get a better grip on her from behind, she got on her knees and her forearms, a position she had learned to be called  _the turtle._

The boy laid himself on her back and brought his arms around her neck, trying to look for—

She turned to the side and made them both fall to the ground once more, the boy's back on the dirt, her own back against his chest as he successfully managed to keep the position intact as they moved, the Noxian's movement catching him off guard but allowing him to—

Orlon circled her neck with one of his arms and clasped that arm's hand on his free one, before slowly squeezing and—

Riven tapped.

"Orlon wins." Sao declared.

The newbie released her and she quickly got up, anticipating Zeylos' complaints and, as an immediate response, coughing exaggeratedly, as if Orlon's choke had actually harmed her, when he actually didn't even manage to close it up properly.

The boy stood up and watched her, "Are you okay?"

Riven nodded her head vigorously before standing tall, stopping her coughing. "I am, thanks." She stretched her arm and offered him her hand. "Good job."

He hesitated at first, but then took her hand and gave it a shake. "You too."

"Alright, rookies," Sao said, realizing that it was already the afternoon. "Considering you've gotten your asses kicked, that will be all for today."

"We will put together the training plan, already knowing where each of you stand in level, and being the  _actual_ training tomorrow. You're free for the day. Go eat something, because you probably haven't realized how badly you're starving."

And just like that, most of the soldiers scattered like cockroaches when the lights are turned on.

Riven planned on doing the same.

"Noxian."

She couldn't. "Yes, Captain Sao?" She said, standing in attention.

"Could I have a word with you?" She asked with a frown on her face, watching Riven nod and walking her a bit away from anyone else. "I gave you two chances to get even with Zeylos and you only took one. Why?"

"I believe that putting him out of combat as quick as I did in swordplay was even more embarrassing for him than me giving him the ass kicking of his life." She smirked, "But then again, I did that on hand to hand combat, so I got the best of both worlds, I guess."

Sao chuckled, "I think Ban is pissed at the fact that you're, indeed, the best one out of this group."

Riven grimaced, "I can see it in his eyes."

"Why did you let the lanky boy win?"

Riven lolled her head to a side, "Excuse me?"

"Come on, Noxian, don't play with me." Sao said, rolling her eyes, a bored expression on her face. "Everyone in here knows you lost on purpose. He's the worst one out here and if you hope someone will actually believe he managed to defeat you, you're dead wrong."

Riven smirked, "Is it that obvious that I let him win?"

"As obvious as Zeylos' affection for you."

The Noxian chuckled. "Okay, pretty obvious, then." Her eyes landed on the lanky boy, picking up a sword and slowly moving around with it, practicing. "I let him win because I know he's the weakest one out here and I remember how awful it was for me when I was in his place."

Sao raised her brows. "You've been in his place before?" She questioned, finding it hard to believe.

Riven smirked and looked at her out of the corner of her eye. "I've been stuck being the worst soldier of the pack for quite a long time, but I was the one with the strongest will, so I willed my destiny into happening." Her eyes returned to Orlon, still swinging. "He doesn't know it yet, but I know he has potential. The only problem is that he's never had the chance to exploit it."

"And you're giving him the space to do so."

Riven nodded. "I'm letting him explore his abilities in a safe haven. I won't harm him, as long as he's not stupid. That, and I'm also making a statement." She felt Sao frown, so she looked at her once more, "By letting him win, I'm letting everyone know that I stand by him, so anyone who messes with him, is messing with me, too." Her smirk turned dark, "I don't think anyone wants to mess with me after today's little demonstration."

"And when they discover you weren't even trying…"

"They'd shit their pants."

" _At least."_

Riven laughed.

"But why are you so hellbent on making everyone know you're on his side?" Sao asked her, "What about him makes you want to protect him like that?"

"When I entered the squadron's dorm, he was the only one who treated me rather nicely." She shrugged, "Not to say he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek, but he let me choose my bed and wasn't a shithead about my reputation, unlike the rest." Her brows furrowed, "When I realized everyone was being a bitch at him too, only because he's smaller than the rest of those brutes, I decided I'd be by his side if he needed me. Sure, it means no one else will want to befriend him, but it doesn't seem like they want to, anyway." She smiled at Sao, "At least this way he gets one friend instead of none."

Sao smiled back, "That's actually something nice of you to do."

"Trust me, Captain," Riven started, "He'll be the best of your battalion once I'm done with him."

"I wouldn't doubt that."

Riven felt eyes on her and, as she turned her head, she saw the lanky boy staring back at her.

He didn't look away.

She smirked.

_Good. Demonstrates character._

Then her stomach rumbled.

The Captain laughed, "Well, I'll let you go, Noxian." Sao said, before laying her hand on Riven's back. "Talk to you later. Go and have some food."

Riven opened her mouth—

"Just follow the rest of them." Sao replied before the Noxian could ask.

So Riven obliged and walked away, quietly observing the rest of her colleagues and trying to follow.

She heard footsteps approaching her from behind, followed by jagged breaths once her pursuer was close enough.

"Orlon is your name, right?" She asked without turning to look at him.

It took him by surprise. "Yeah, I'm Orlon," He replied her question.

"I'm—"

"Riven."

She raised her brows, though he couldn't perceive it. "Exactly." She said. "What can I do for you, Orlon?" She asked him, "Because I doubt you're just tagging along."

"You don't have to let me win." He told her as they walked side by side.

Riven was amused. "I didn't."

Then she felt his hand around her wrist, forcing her to stop walking.

She turned to look at him.

"Thank you for your  _kindness,_ but I don't need it, nor your pity." He said, a certain hurtful tone to his words. "I must make my mistakes in order to learn. Got to lose to win."

Riven stared at him for a second. "If you think I feel  _pity_ for you and I let you win out of  _kindness_ , you know nothing about me." She snorted, "And if you think you got to  _lose to win,_ you're going to find you keep losing and you never actually win anything, ever."

Still, Orlon didn't back down. "Then why did you let me win?"

Riven sighed, before her stomach rumbled once more. "If you want an answer, guide me to the dining room."

* * *

He watched her as she wolfed down on her food.

"You're the worst soldier."

It put him in a bad mood.

"Seriously, the  _worst_  one out there."

"Can you get to the point?" He snapped.

Riven looked at him. "You want to learn how to fight?" She asked him, watching him nod his head. "How to shoot?" He nodded once more. "How to be a soldier?"

"Yes."

"Well, your whole focus is already  _wrong."_ Riven stated.

The boy frowned. "What—"

"How do you expect to succeed if you've already achieved your goal?" Riven questioned. "You're already a soldier." She shrugged, "A shitty one, but a solder nonetheless." She leaned forwards. "You set the bar low and, to succeed in here, you got to set it impossibly high. You don't want to learn how to fight: you want to learn how to  _crush_ your enemies in combat. You don't want to learn how to shoot: you want to be the  _best_ archer. You don't want to be a soldier," She smirked, "You want to be—"

"The best soldier."

" _A leader."_ Riven corrected him. "You should aim for the top position, not the best of the lowest one."

Orlon frowned, "I don't get where you're trying to get to, though."

"I can't teach you how to be a good soldier but I can definitely help you become a leader." Riven declared.

"And why would you do that?"

"Because of all the soldiers Ionia has, you're the only one who's not an insufferable bitch, apparently." She narrowed her eyes, "And I can tell you're not even Ionian." She saw him gulp and lolled her head to a side, "Where are you from?"

"Does that even matter?"

He didn't want to answer.

"I guess not." Riven replied.

She stretched a bit, taking two long gulps of water before speaking again, "And before you ask about letting you win: you're right. I let you do it, but you  _have_ to fight at your own level before you can improve and fight better." She watched him, "These other idiots won't give you the room to improve, so I might as well do it myself."

"It doesn't answer my question, though."

Riven raised a brow.

"Why are you doing this?"

Riven looked away for a second, before looking at him again. "I don't know," She confessed, "I guess I see an old version of myself reflected in you and I want to help you." She mused out loud. "I had no one there for me and still I managed to become the leader of the best army out there, but I know just how awful my journey was." She quickly placed her hand on top of his, catching his attention, "Let me help you and you'll end up being the best warrior out there."

Orlon frowned. "And why should I believe a Noxian would help a weakling, when strength is all you care about?"

And it was an honest question.

So Riven gave him her honest answer.

"Because, unlike Noxus and everyone in it, I outgrew that crazily patriotic, selfish and all-men-for-themselves mindset and learned that everyone can be strong in their own way if we give them a chance and a helping hand. I learned just how valuable it can be, to work with someone, help them grow and let them help you in return, so I will more than gladly help you if you let me."

Orlon wasn't sure. "And what do you want in return?"

Riven smiled, "Your willingness to listen and learn. Consider it my way of giving back for being kind to me when no one else was." She said, "So what do you say,  _rookie?"_ She teased, "Ready to let me turn you into a Captain?"

He seemed to have his doubts, but he still replied. "Yes," While nodding his head. "I'm in."

"Good," Riven said, before standing up, "I'll meet you in the training camps in an hour."

Orlon had definitely not expected that. "Wait, what?"

"If you want to be the best, you have to train like the best, meaning your train begins before anyone else's and finishes  _after."_ She turned to leave, "See you." And she was gone.

So Orlon rushed to get some food for himself and wolf down on it.

* * *

A great view of the training camps could be gotten from the Placidium's westernmost alcony. After all, the palace was humongous and, given one walked for long enough and in the right direction, a great view of any spot in all of Ionia could be achieved. the eastern wing, the captain's, displayed all of the city underneath the mountain. The western one, the soldiers', displayed the rest of the mountain.

So Irelia had moved from her wing to the opposite one and, climbing up until she reached the building's top, she got out of it and stood on the balcony, watching the training's initial trials.

Watching Riven dominate on all of them.

Dominate and let the lanky boy win, whenever she could.

And once they had finished, the Captain of the Guard remained there, soaking up the Sun, lazily watching over the bushy forests of the mountain.

She heard light footsteps and, despite herself and her initial desire to flinch, to get on guard, to desperately search for the intruder, she forced herself to remain still, letting said person approach her.

She gripped the balcony's railing so hard her knuckles turned white, clenching her jaw, gritting her teeth together until her head hurt—

"I hope I'm not disturbing you, my Captain."

Irelia turned around, a calm demeanor to her. "Not at all, Sao." She motioned for the blonde to move closer. "Come in."

The lower-rank captain smiled, "Watched the trials, I see?"

Irelia nodded as she looked away into the forest again, "Couldn't help myself."

"You've always liked to make sure your subordinates carried on their tasks properly."

"It's not that." Irelia said, before she sighed, "They aren't—"

"They  _suck,_ Irelia." Sao replied, making the Captain of the Guard turn to look at her with a bit of shock in her expression, so the blonde cleared her throat, "If you forgive my  _audacity_."

The Leader of Ionia quickly shook her head, not to deny her colleague, but to snap out of the quiet surprise she had fallen into. "It's alright. I mean, you're right." She nodded her head then, "They  _do_ suck."

" _Almost_ everyone."

Irelia was zoning out, yet she managed to repeat whatever the woman said. "Almost everyone."

Then Sao dared, "But Riven."

"But Riv—" She quickly looked at Sao. "Excuse me?"

Sao had wide eyes but an unapologetic look on them. "You saw it yourself, didn't you?" She shrugged, "I'm just saying, Captain. She  _did_ kick their asses—"

"They're just rookies—"

"With technique far better than anything I've seen on  _honed_ Ionian soldiers and even higher ups." Sao finished. "She was holding back the whole time and she still crushed them. Hell," She shook her head, "I bet she could have gone through all of that with  _both_ her hands tied up behind her back and her  _blindfolded—"_

"Since when is she  _Riven_ and not  _the Noxian?"_

Sao slowly closed her open mouth, smirking at the keen Captain, quietly noting how she had noticed the change. "I tried to keep her at an arm's distance, my Captain, but she's actually, dare I say,  _nice."_ Then, a thought came to her, "That, or she just knows who to sweet talk, but I honestly think it's the former."

"What tells you that?"

Sao looked at her, "My gut." She shrugged. "I got a hunch and you've known me for how long now, Irelia?" She frowned, looking into the sky as she thought. "Six, seven—"

" _Seven_ years."

"Seven years." Sao replicated, nodding her head. "You've known me for seven years. In all that time, how many hunches have I had?"

Irelia nodded reluctantly. "Many."

"And how many times have I been wrong?"

She grimaced. "Never."

Sao smiled triumphantly. "There you go."

"I don't know."

"If you're not sure about her change of heart, then why did you invite her to Ionia?" Sao questioned, "Isn't that kind of stupid, if you don't actually believe in her?"

Irelia nodded, raising a brow. "I guess you could say I had a hunch, too, but I don't trust them as blindly as you."

"And that's why you reduce her to a mere rookie and make her go through the trials?"

"I reduce her to a mere rookie and make her train alongside them because I want to see who she  _really_ is." She eyed Sao, "Will she abide by our rules and play  _our_ game, respect our traditions, or will she say  _fuck it_ and put that Noxian pride on display?"

"Has she really changed for good or is she still the  _Hand of Noxus?"_

Irelia smiled. "Exactly that is what I'm asking."

Sao hummed, "I can't see anything wrong with your little experiment to bring the Noxian's true colors out, except for the fact that you may be wasting your time a bit."

"I have a lot of time to waste." Irelia replied. "And I'd rather waste it on watching her prove herself than spend it worrying about her stabbing me on my sleep."

"I don't think that fear is ever going to go away, Irelia."

"It doesn't hurt to try, though."

Sao nodded. "You're right." She said, smiling as something in the training camps caught her eye. "And there she goes, proving me right and proving you wrong."

Irelia tried to locate whatever she was talking about.

She raised her brows as she saw Riven, running around the training camps with the lanky boy by her side.

"Riven  _and_ Orlon?" Irelia asked, hearing Sao hum in confirmation. "What's that about?"

"She's hellbent on making him the best soldier out there, don't know why." She smiled at Irelia. "Do you think that will change once she finds out he's Demacian?"

Irelia shook her head. "I believe she already knows."

"Or maybe she just has a hunch."

Irelia nodded, "Maybe, but I still think she doesn't care about it."

"Should I stop their  _extra_ training?"

"There's no rules against training  _more_ than what's required." She looked at Sao, "Let them train their extra hours."

"Well, then," Sao said, slowly backing away, "In that case, I'll let them be, but I still have to meet with Ban to plan tomorrow's training."

"Sounds perfect, you're dismissed." Irelia said, still watching Riven and Orlon as the boy stood on his guard, Riven correcting his fighting posture. "I still want you to keep a close eye on her, though."

Sao was by the door when she heard that, smiled and said, "I wasn't planning on leaving her unsupervised, my Captain, though it seems you watch her just as intently as you commanded me to do."

And maybe it was because she had zoned out watching Noxus and Demacia train together, but Irelia hadn't really heard that final bit as the door closed behind Sao, her reply being only one small, mumbled word.

"Good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the long delay! (well, long for my apparent standards. Let's be real, it wasn't that long). School was kicking my butt and I had little to no time to write but I'd like to say i'm trying to come back to it!
> 
> Someone asked whether I have an updating schedule. I wish I could be that organized and not-eager to post as soon as I write, but unfortunately I am not. I post chapters as soon as I finish them writing, that's why sometimes I post like 3 times a week and then go a while without updating. Erratic, but never a quitter, folks! Stay tuned.
> 
> Your comments and reviews and everything are always hella appreciated! so leave em below, buddies!
> 
> I love y'all!


	6. Make A Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riven reaches her tether's end.

Days had passed. Weeks.

Not much had changed.

Not for good.

She had started training Orlon: the boy did not learn much and did not learn fast. Still, she trained him, forcing him to start hours before anyone else did, while it was still nighttime and twilight was far away from them, and to finish many hours after, when dusk was gone and Diana's Goddess was up in the nightly darkness once more.

_Diana._

She missed her madly.

She still prayed, every night.

Never telling her much about what was going on in Ionia because she  _knew_ her friend and knew she'd worry, so she was always mostly wondering how things were back in the Temple.

Wondering if she missed her just as badly.

And while not much had changed, some things  _did_ change.

For bad.

Every night, she had trouble sleeping, which was no news for her, who used to walk around the Empyrean Temple aimlessly, if only to tire herself up and go back to sleep.

Nightmares came back, but they never lasted long. They never made her scream into the night anymore.

Because every night, Riven would wake up from her restless sleep to the feeling of someone approaching her bed.

She had always had that uncanny ability, to wake up whenever her life was threatened.

She'd remain quiet, still, as someone dragged a knife across her skin.

She'd pretend to be asleep as someone placed cuts and bruises all over her.

Trying to scare her. Trying to defeat her. Trying to break her.

But she was strong.

 _No one_ in Noxus had been able to defeat her, scare her, break her, so  _no one_ in Ionia would be able to do so either.

But she was tired.  _So_ tired.

And her patience was vast, but she was running out of it. Slowly, yet surely.

_Anytime now, I'm going to lose it._

She wasn't sure whether it was all a trick Irelia was playing on her, trying to get her to explode, or if it was just an unfortunate coincidence, being watched and being taunted at the same time.

All she knew was that she was going to lose it, explode, maybe kill someone, and it was all going to happen sooner rather than later.

Still, she might have been tired, she might have been losing her patience, her sanity, her self control, but she still had a job to do and she'd give it her best.

So she had woken up that day, Orlon already up and waiting for her, ready for their early start, and she had gone with him to the training camps, beginning their training before anyone else did.

She had ignored Orlon's furtive looks towards her increasingly-harder-to-hide cuts and bruises, which grew in number, too.

She had trained him until everyone else appeared in the training camps and then trained alongside them too.

She had thought that, maybe, what Ban and Sao had said the first time they met had been a lie, for she was certain they gave her a special treatment.

_Well, Sao does, at least._

Because she was always paired with Orlon in paired training, no matter how many times everyone else changed training partners.

Because she was allowed to avoid doing the training drills if it meant she'd explain them to Orlon better than any of the two Captains did, enabling him to do them instead of bullshitting his way through them.

Because she was allowed to act as  _Orlon's trainer_ most of the time, instead of just acting as another trainee.

So, when everyone else arrived, she stopped their particular training and guided him throughout the day's drills instead, ignoring Zeylos' dirty glares and vicious smirks.

Fully aware that him and his lackeys were most definitely behind her cuts and bruises.

And when Sao had called her and taken her away from the group to ask her about it—

"It's nothing," She had replied.

And despite Sao's insistence, asking the Noxian for a name, a suspect, a cause to her injuries—

"I promise, Captain Sao," Riven had said with fury making her jaw clench and her eyes focus hard on the Captain's hazel ones, "It's alright."

Sao did not believe that, not even for a second, but she knew she wouldn't be able to get anything out of the white haired warrior. "Well, in any case, know that you can talk to me about it."

"I know, Captain, but I don't want to."

Then it clicked in Sao's head.

Riven was  _accumulating_ that anger.

Bottling it up, with only the Gods knowing what for.

She had the feeling that Riven actually  _wanted_ to snap, but she wanted to do it in the ugliest way possible and with the perfect excuse.

She was playing by their rules, but finding the loopholes where she could use her own.

She thought it was her right to do so. To play her own game and fool them all into thinking she had been playing theirs all along.

To explode like the Zaunite Unit that had killed both her friends and Irelia's.

She  _knew_ it was her right to do so.

So, against her own leader, the orders and advice she had been given, "Very well, soldier," Sao said, nodding her head and pretending she had not caught sight of Riven's violent intentions. "You may return to your partner, then." She finished their little talk, watching as Riven bowed and walked back to Orlon.

_It's her right to play. It's her right to explode._

She glanced at Zeylos, aware that he was the one behind the woman's abused body, but lacking enough evidence to aid the Noxian and seek justice for her.

So she'd let Riven do justice by her own hand.

_It's her Ionian right to balance things out and abuse his body in return for his actions, no matter what anyone thinks of it._

_It's her Noxian right to kill him, no matter what Irelia thinks of it._

* * *

"No, no, Orlon, I already told you this like a thousand times: your feet are  _too_ far apart."

The scolding tone was glaringly obvious. The boy shifted in his stance.

Riven sighed. "Now they're  _too_ close."

He moved once more.

Riven groaned, "Too far." She said, her annoyance evident on her every word.

"Well I don't know what you want me to do," He responded, "You have to understand this is hard for me."

"I do, believe me." Riven replied, an angry kind of taunt evident on her sarcastic, mocking tone, "But you need to put a bit of effort yourself."

The boy glared at her, for her condescending tone was getting on his nerves. "I am."

"Then put  _more."_

He closed his eyes, trying not to react at how she had raised her voice. "You don't have to treat me like that—"

"But  _I do,"_ Riven growled, moving a step closer towards him, his face deformed into a vicious scowl. "I'm  _sick and tired_ of this training,  _sick and tired_ of you not learning a thing—"

They heard a booming laugh that made Orlon flinch and Riven tremble with rage.

"—And I'm  _fucking sick and tired_ of that brute."

Orlon sighed, "Riven—"

"Still teaching the stick boy how to swing, Noxian?" Zeylos' voice came as he walked towards them, having caught sight of them from afar, before another boisterous laugh was let out between his lips. "Good luck with that—"

"Will you shut up someday?" Riven let out in a dangerously tense voice at him.

Orlon flinched despite it not being aimed at him.

But Zeylos wasn't done yet. "What did you say to me?" He asked her, slowly approaching the woman, "You'd better watch your mouth, little bi—"

Riven moved towards him so fast neither of the two men realized it until her hands were already pressing on the tall man's neck. "Now listen to me," She growled, low between her gritting teeth. "You will stop pestering me or else I'll beat you up so badly not even your own  _mother_ will recognize your ugly face." Came her threat, "Now  _go!"_ She yelled at him as she brought her leg up between them and delivered a front kick to his gut, pushing him away and leaving him breathless, "And bother someone else, if you're not  _kind enough_ to do us all a favor and  _shut the fuck up_."

She watched him as he regained his footing, "You think I'm afraid of you?" He asked her as one of his hands went to his neck and he moved closer to her.

"You  _should_ be."

Orlon caught sight of the hair at her nape standing on end.

Riven smirked at the bull of a man, "You have five seconds to leave before I choke the life out of you, jackass."

And as she started to count, the bouldering man started to walked away, not without throwing dirty looks at her and the lanky boy, "You won't get away with this," He said, convinced to leave by an eerie feeling that had taken over his bones.

But he'd swear it wasn't fear. He'd swear it until his death.

Once he was gone, Riven slowly breathed in and out, trying to regain her composure.

That hair that stood on end went back to normal.

But she didn't manage to reign in on her feelings.

"I mean this in the nicest way possible, Riven," She heard Orlon say as he walked towards her, "But you should try not to cross him." She glared at nothing as she heard him from somewhere behind her, "These past few weeks you two have been clashing a lot and—"

"And I'm  _fucking tired_ of it already," Riven finished for him, turning to look at him with fury in her eyes. "Ever since training started he's been bothering me nonstop. I have a  _lot_ of patience, as you already know, but even my patience lasts so long before it's consumed and I swear to whatever Gods you praise, he's making me reach that end!"

Orlon sighed, "I know, I know, he annoys the Hell out of me too, but you  _know_ the captains are watching you, Ban waiting for you to make a mistake—"

"Ban?" Riven asked incredulously, before laughing it off. " _Irelia Lito_ is watching me, waiting for me to  _make a mistake_  so that she has the perfect excuse to kick me out of the country she had invited me into in the first place." She exhaled loudly. "I know I'm being watched and  _I don't care_. I don't care if I get kicked out, I don't care if they throw me in a cell somewhere to rot, I don't care if anyone tries to kill me and I don't care if anyone who tries actually  _succeeds."_ She was close to him, "I'm  _done,_ I'm  _done_ with all of it: the training, the captains, the threats, the bickering, the pretending to be something I'm not, I'm  _done!"_ She roared, "And I'm certainly  _done_ with you not learning a  _fucking_ thing."

He didn't like the sound of that. "You promised me you'd teach me."

Riven huffed a laugh, "Oh, I never said I wouldn't teach you."

Then she pushed him, making him stumble a few steps backwards. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I tried being nice, Orlon, but as it turns out, it doesn't work with you." She said, looking at him with a bored expression. "So now we do it my way," She added, before pushing him again.

"Stop that!"

"Stand properly and I won't be able to push you around, newbie." She said, her tone getting harsher as she pushed him once more. "I told you to  _fucking stand properly!"_ She roared, not letting him regain his posture, already following him as he stumbled and pushing him again.

She got more and more vicious with her actions, pushing him harder and faster every time as she followed his staggering steps, ignoring his mumbled complaints, "What the  _fuck_ is wrong with you that you have  _one fucking lesson_ to learn and you  _can't fucking do it!"_ She shouted at him, forcing him backwards once more. "I told you to  _fucking,"_ She pushed him, " _Stand,"_ She did it once more, " _Right!"_ And her hands moved towards his shoulders yet again—

She couldn't be sure, but she believed she faintly heard him yell something like  _enough_ as she was sent flying backwards, her back hitting a tree that was yards away from the boy, before falling to the ground on her hands and knees, a big hole now on her robe, right where she had felt Orlon's hands on her.

She quickly looked up at him.

_How in the Hell…?_

He was shaking, his wide eyes going from her on the ground to his own hands,  _on fire_ , a look of terror on his face.

The cogs inside her brain, which had been working nonstop at full speed, suddenly came to a stop as she finally managed to see the full picture.

"You're a mage." She said as she raised her head and looked at him, slowly getting up from the ground, but saying it only once didn't make it seem real, so she repeated herself, "You're a—"

" _Don't say it!"_

She hadn't expected that. "But you are, aren't you?" She questioned.

" _Shut up—"_

"What are you so scared of?" She asked him, snorting as she added, "For a second, one would believe you're a Demacian, acting like that about magic."

She saw how he suddenly stared at her and her mirth died out.

Her lips formed a quiet  _Oh,_ "You  _are_ Demacian, aren't you?"

He was shaking even more than before.

"I don't really need you to answer that."

She already knew the answer.

_Yes._

She slowly walked towards him, watching him as he quickly picked up a bow and arrow from the ground—

She stopped walking as he took aim in her direction.

Riven chuckled, "What are you doing?"

"If you take another step, I'll shoot you." Orlon nervously let out, a desperately crazy look on his face.

Riven looked at him with a bored expression, "First of all, Orlon," She stretched one of her arms out to her side, "You're aiming  _here,"_ She told him, shaking her hand a little bit. "If you want to kill me, you should—"

Orlon fixed his aim.

"—Now that's better." Riven said, aware that he was now aiming at her head. "Second, why are you suddenly so afraid of me?"

"What do you think,  _Noxian_?!"

Riven closed her eyes. "Do you really think I care about your home country, Orlon?"

"Why wouldn't you?!" He shouted at her, shaking in fear of the Noxian and himself. "You're Noxian, I'm Demacian, we're  _enemies!"_

"If you want to kill me then go ahead and release that arrow." Riven said, her voice strong. "I don't care that much about my life, anyway," She shrugged, "Never have. But if you think I didn't  _at least_ suspect it, then you're stupider than I've ever thought. I mean,  _come on,"_ She rolled her eyes at him, "Your name is  _Orlon._ There's only one other person with that name that I can think of," She smirked, "Demacia's founder. You were named after him, weren't you?"

"How would you know that—"

"It's a requirement for Noxian children at school to learn Demacian history, besides Noxus'." Riven replied before he could even finish the question. "And once you get into the military, it's required that you learn  _every_  nation's historical events and popular military strategies by heart." She tapped a finger to her temple, "Knowledge is power. Power is everything."

Orlon's aim faltered, "But you never mentioned—"

"I never mentioned it because you were reluctant to tell me about it when I asked, when we first talked about training together. Remember?" Riven questioned, watching him nod. "Considering it to be a touchy subject, I decided to leave it alone because I know how badly it maddens me when people comment on  _my_ birthplace." Then, a thought came to her, "And I  _could_ have been wrong," She admitted. "Your reluctance to tell me confirmed it, but I still had a chance of being wrong in my guess. Small, but there."

Orlon still doubted her—

"Come on," She hurried him, "Put the bow down." She said, then raised a brow, "Or kill me, but make a choice. Quickly."

She watched him as he hesitated for a moment, before finally lowering the bow.

Riven released a breath she didn't know she had been holding. "Good," She said, before turning and walking away.

Orlon watched her with a frown. "Where are you going?"

"I need a break," She said while walking, before looking at him over her shoulder, "And we need to talk." She looked ahead again, "Let's go."

Orlon dropped the bow and ran after her.

They made it to the dining room in a matter of minutes, Orlon still struggling to catch up with Riven, while the Noxian ignored everyone's curious looks at the holes burnt into her robe and went directly to the first person in charge she could find and—

"Is there something to drink in here?"

The woman narrowed her eyes at her, "Water, over there," She said pointing at a table, packed with jars.

"No, no," Riven shook her head, "I mean something with alcohol in it."

The woman's eyes suddenly widened, "What—"

" _Please,"_ Riven immediately placed her hands on the woman's shoulders, "I  _need_ a drink."

They kept the other's stare for a moment before the bigger woman subsided, "I'll see what I can do."

Riven released her, "Thank you," She said, watching her disappear into the kitchens.

"What are you doing?" Orlon asked her as he finally caught up with her, trying to catch his breath in the process.

"Trying to cope." She said, smiling at the woman as she came back and subtly handed her a cup. "Thank you."

"Careful, it's strong." She mumbled.

Riven looked like she could cry. "You're a Godsend." And, as the woman nodded her head once in dismissal, Riven mimicked her and walked away, Orlon trailing after her.

They found a table that was completely unoccupied and Riven quickly got comfortable on one of its' seats, smelling her drink as Orlon took a seat to her right, frowning at her while he did so. "What is that?"

Riven grimaced a bit. "I don't know but I can  _smell_ just how bad a decision this is." She confessed, before taking a gulp and letting her face contort into an even funnier expression. "Yes, definitely a bad idea."

Orlon took her cup and smelled it, before looking at her in shock. "You're  _drinking?"_ He asked her with a judgemental tone. "Right  _now?"_

" _Yes,"_ She replied, glaring at him as she took the cup back, "I am and I'm doing it right now, thanks for noticing." She took another gulp before resting her drink on the table.

"Why?"

"I told you already,  _coping."_

Orlon shook his head, "What do you even mean—"

"I'm not particularly  _fond_ of fire _,_ Orlon," She said, subtly placing her right hand closer to him, if only to make him look at it, observe her bandages and be reminded of the scorched flesh underneath them. "And one of my closest friends used to be a pyromancer, too, so you kind of made painful memories resurface in my mind."

_Leah. Crimson Elite. Dead in the chemical fire._

But he couldn't have known that. No one knew enough about the Crimson Elite, let alone the Zaunite Unit's incident, to ever know that.

Still, the boy frowned, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Riven said, "I have the feeling that you didn't really mean to do..." She grimaced, "Whatever you did."

She took a quick gulp after saying that.

She sighed, "Damn, it tastes good after all."

"Give me some—"

" _No,"_ Riven glared at him. "You need to be completely sober. We're still going to train." She took another sip, "Even if you're a fire mage."

Orlon sighed and mumbled something, but Riven couldn't quite hear it.

She frowned. "What?"

"I said I'm not a fire mage." He replied. "I don't really know what my magic's nature is, but I'm not a pyromancer." He sighed, "Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning and water starts pouring out of my mouth or I can't breathe and the wind behaves weirdly around me." He laughed nervously, "I've even seen electricity coming out of my fingertips."

"You're an elemental mage." Riven told him, making him look at her. "Your magic responds to every and all emotions that surpass you." When she noticed how he was frowning at her, she continued, "When you feel that sorrow that puts a lump in your throat, water comes out of your mouth. When you feel like you can't breathe, the air that surrounds you becomes a crazy hurricane. You're nervous and electricity makes your hair stand on end. You're angry…" She took a gulp from her drink, "And you burn a hole through my shirt."

"I'm sorry about that—"

"It's alright, it's what I get for getting on your nerves."

Orlon looked at his own hands. "I wonder what happiness would make me do."

Riven felt the question implied in his words. "Oh, if you don't know, then I have no clue."

"You just explained my powers to me."

"Yeah, I was just making an educated guess," Riven said, a raised brow. "I know a thing or two about elemental mages but I never knew one personally until just now."

Orlon looked away, "That's a shame."

"Never been that happy?" She asked him, taking another sip, watching him shake his head. "Well then, I guess we'll have to figure that one out."

"Isn't it sad that I've never known true happiness?"

Riven snorted. "At least you don't know true pain either, boy." He glared at her, as if offended by her words, which she merely shrugged away, "Trust me, you have no idea how it feels."

"And you do?" Orlon asked her, raising a brow, still hurt by how she had minimized him, "Because you've fought in some war—"

" _Watch it,"_ She warned, glaring at him. "Because I now know the extent of your power but you don't even know what you're facing when you look at me."

He gulped. She looked away.

Minutes passed.

"I didn't mean to lose my cool."

Orlon looked at her, "It's alright, I shouldn't have brought that up—"

"I'm not talking about just now." Riven said and Orlon could  _feel_ the anger in her voice. "I meant every word I said. I'm talking about earlier, when we were training."

"Oh," Orlon replied, his gaze unfocused as it followed her glass, the Noxian still drinking slowly, enjoying her drink.

He heard the Noxian sigh. "The truth is I'm tired, Orlon." She looked at him. "I'm tired of letting everyone in here push me around for the sake of not starting up a fight. I'm tired of being treated like shit, mostly because I don't deserve it."

Orlon swallowed, "Are you sure about that—"

"No one in here was in that war to know what I've done and what I haven't done, what I've gone through and what I've made others suffer." Riven told him, "No one here has been a direct victim of my doing but Irelia, so she can mistreat me all she wants, but the rest of these Ionians?" She scoffed, "They have no right—"

"You tried to invade their country and killed only the Gods know how many of their friends, their family." Orlon retaliated. "Maybe you didn't affect them directly, but indirectly."

"Are you  _really_ getting on their side, Orlon?" Riven questioned and he could  _feel_ the anger in her. "Let's say you're right and what I've done is enough for them to punish me for everything I do. What about you, then?"

"What do you mean?"

"What dirt could they possibly have on you to treat you the way they do?" Riven asked him, "Because they hate me, but they also hate you."

"They hate me because I'm friends with you."

Riven laughed, "Orlon, they hated you  _before_ I even got here," She told him, "And if I really were your problem then you wouldn't have befriended me, because you might be Demacian but you're not as stupidly dense as your average Garen Crownguard."

Orlon glared, "Hey!—"

"Garen  _is_ stupid  _and_ dense, like the typical Demacian." She saw him open his mouth to reply, "Do  _not_ argue with me about this. You  _know_ I'm right."

He decided she must have known enough Demacians to be certain about what she was saying. "I guess you're right."

"Hey, don't be so sad about it," Riven said, placing a hand on his back at the defeated tone he had used, "Noxians suck, too." She snorted, "They suck in a different way, but that doesn't make them any less sucky."

"You're talking as if you weren't Noxian yourself."

"Because I'm not  _that_ kind of Noxian. I'm a better kind of Noxian."

"Which is?"

"Me. Only me."

Orlon snorted, "Sounds legit."

"Hey, I  _just_ told you that you aren't as dense as the typical Demacian. Complimenting a natural enemy automatically makes me better than the typical Noxian."

Orlon chuckled, "You're right, you're right. Apologies."

"Apology accepted." Riven stated.

Then silence reigned in.

She took a few sips from her drink before she spoke again.

"A long, long time ago, I would have hated you with your nationality as my only reason to do so, Orlon."

That made him look at her, but she was still looking away.

"A long, long time ago, I would have killed you as soon as I heard your name, knowing very well only a Demacian would be called like that." She confessed to him in a quiet voice, taking a gulp from her drink. "A long, long time ago, I would have been the Noxian everyone —and I mean  _everyone_ —expects me to be. I would have been the  _Perfect Soldier,_ the  _Hand of Noxus_ herself." She huffed a laugh, "I would have been the best example of what a Noxian with all of their Noxian pride and  _Blood for Noxus_ should be. I really would have been it."

She stretched before looking at him, "But a lot of things have changed." She told him, finally looking at him in the eye, "I fought for Noxus in a war that later I discovered to be a trap for both Ionia and the true Noxian spirit. I fought a war of cowards and dirty moves and was betrayed by my own soldiers as one of them started the fire meant to kill both Irelia and I in it. That  _one_ event changed absolutely everything in me."

She looked into her glass, now more than halfway empty. "I passed out with an army behind me and I woke up alone, abandoned in a sea of bodies." She told him in a quick, ushered whisper. "When that happened, I decided Noxus was no home for me, for no one had cared about searching for their oh-so-respected  _leader._ " Her fingers gripped the cup tighter. "So I ran away in a self-imposed exile. Let them think I was dead while I wondered why I even was alive." She took another gulp. "Don't get me wrong, I still live by the Noxian values: power, strength, courage, respect…  _willpower,_ but a lot has changed."

She raised her gaze, but still avoided his eyes as she looked straight ahead. "In that long exile, I encountered a few people that taught me valuable lessons. Lessons that the average Noxian would despise." She smirked, "You see, in Noxus we are taught that life is a competition and everyone's an enemy, with other Noxians being the only worthy opponents out there. We come together when necessary but, besides those specific times, it's  _a man for himself,_ back home. It's rare in Noxus, to find a team that enjoys  _being one_ and sticks together because of it, rather than a team that's been forced together and can't wait for the chance to disband itself."

She tried not to think of the Crimson Elite.

"It's hard, in Noxus."

She failed.

"But it doesn't have to be like that  _everywhere_ else."

She stared at him out of the corner of her eye, "In my long time traveling, I learned just  _how valuable_ it is to work together, to help those who are weaker rather than put them down only because of it." She smiled at him, "I learned just how powerful we can be if we work together, if the strongest help the weakest realize there's no limit for what we can do, for there are thousands of different kinds of strong and they are  _all_ important in their own way." She fully faced him, "I learned not to fear the other's power, but help it grow, letting it help my own. Demacians, Noxians, Ionians, Piltovians and Zaunites... " She shook her head, "In the end, none of it matters. At least, not to me, anymore. I learned we are all the same kind of idiot, only with a different flag on our banners. I live by my Noxian values but that doesn't mean I'm a Noxian anymore; the part of my essence that made me one died in that war."

She sighed as she took a quick gulp, "I guess what I'm trying to say with all of this is that I don't quite care if you're Demacian or half-fish. If you're willing to stand by me, I'll stand by you. If you're willing to let me, I'll still help you."

Orlon looked at her for a long minute before chuckling, "You really are something else, aren't you?"

Riven lolled her head to a side, an impish smirk on her lips, "I've been told that once or twice before," She confessed as she raised her cup, hiding her face from him.

Orlon sighed, "I don't care much for Demacian values, if I'm honest." He raised a brow, "I guess I'm Demacian only in origin, not even in principles like you with Noxus." He confessed, looking at her, "I'm not exactly the image of a perfect Demacian, you know?"

"No, you're the opposite," Riven said, eyeing him. "You're small, awkward…" She raised her brows, " _And_ a mage." She grimaced, "That makes you the opposite of it."

It pained Orlon to hear it, but it was the truth. "Exactly."

"Is that why you're trying to get into the Ionian army instead of Demacia's?" She questioned, "Because of your nature?"

Orlon nodded, but it was almost imperceptible. "I discovered my power not too long ago, maybe a few months earlier." He looked at his own hands. "A mage named Sylas had been discovered only days before me and he had been captured and sentenced to death, so you can imagine what I felt upon realizing I was the next one in line if anyone ever found out."

"So you made the sudden decision to leave Demacia and come to Ionia." She saw him nod, "But  _why_ here? Why not somewhere else?"

"I wanted to become a soldier. I was advised to come to Ionia, because it's a place where magic grows freely and is even encouraged to be let out, rather than caged and hidden away or  _worse_ , killed _._ It's a country that's developing a strong military and welcomes anyone who's willing to enroll and fight for it. Its' shaky relationship with Demacia also helps, for it means no one would ever find out about my nature and, if they did, Ionia would protect me from Demacia, forbidding them from taking me back and declaring me a criminal, let alone sentencing me to death."

"By becoming a Ionian, you're protected by Ionia's laws, no matter what your true origin is," Riven mused out loud, hearing him hum in agreement. "Who advised you to come here?"

Orlon gulped. She knew he didn't want to tell her.

Still, he did.

Without betraying his friend.

"A girl from Demacia. A mage, just like me, who has unfortunate ties to Demacia that forbid her from ever leaving it behind."

Riven didn't need to think much to put two and two together. She  _knew_ that mage. "Luxanna Crownguard."

Orlon turned pale at the sound of Garen's sister's name. "How did you know?"

"We met once or twice and I've seen her use her power. She's a light mage."

Orlon didn't know how to react, "If anyone finds out—"

"Orlon, I've known about her for  _years._ If I wanted to use that knowledge against her, I would have done so a long time ago." She took another sip, realizing there was only one more left. "So she found out about you and helped you escape before you had to suffer this guy Sylas' same fate."

Orlon nodded, letting Riven guide him back to their main topic. "And that's how I ended up here."

Riven smirked, "I ended up here hoping I could make amends with Irelia Lito." She told him, bringing the cup to her lips, nodding as she watched him grimace. "I know, right? Suddenly your own panorama lightens up a bit."

"It surely does." And minutes passed before he finally asked, "So what are we going to do, now?"

Riven finished her drink.

"We tried the Ionian way, Orlon, and it didn't work." She sentenced. "I suck at teaching with it and you suck at learning with it."

"I'm slow to learn." He said, feeling pity for himself.

"Slow to learn is an understatement." Riven scolded him. "But you  _did_ react to a bit of pressure."

"A bit?" He asked her, "I'd say a lot."

Riven smirked, "That's the Noxian way for you and  _that's_ the way we'll be working from now on."

He shook his head, "What?"

"I did  _not_ lie when I told you I lost my patience," Riven told him, "Now, come on," She said, standing up only to find out she wasn't as steady as she thought she was, quickly blinking fast, putting her game face on, hiding her surprise at the newfound information, "We've got training to do."

Still, despite having hidden it perfectly, Orlon managed to see the split second where her stance faltered a bit. "Are you sure about that?"

Riven smiled at him, a cocky thing on her lips. "Totally. Let's go."

So he reluctantly got up and followed the swaying girl.

"I've trained a lot of people in my life, but I've never trained an elemental mage before," Riven told him as they walked, "But I'm guessing what worked with others might work with you, so we'll try anyways."

"I'm a bit scared of our new  _approach_ to training." He confessed, hearing the Noxian laugh at that.

"Don't be." She told him, "But at the same time, it's good that you are."

"Why?"

So she suddenly turned to him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, "Because now we're doing it my way and that means I won't be patient. There's no mercy for weakness and cowardice, so you either learn the lesson and survive or fail the attempt and get killed."

He swallowed his own saliva at her words, before Riven smiled at him and released him, resuming their walking.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Riven replied, "Ask away."

"You said something earlier…  _I now know the extent of your power but you don't even know what you're facing when you look at me."_ He looked at her with a frown. "What did you mean by that?"

She had meant the runic sword she had hidden in her personal belongings' chest, back in their dorms. The one she'd get out of it every night whenever she felt everyone was sound asleep, only to feel it with her own hands for a moment before putting it back in the chest and going to bed, praying to the Moon for a while until her eyes closed on their own accord.

But should she tell him? Everyone knew about her broadsword, for it was the former Hand of Noxus' trademark, but no one really knew about the runes carved into it and just how powerful they were.

"I haven't showed anyone in here what I'm capable of, Orlon." She settled for saying. "All you and everybody else saw me do was just a fraction of what I can do, of my real strength and power."

A half-truth.

A completely true statement, actually, for she was not lying.

Only avoiding telling him about those times when her eyes went from  _red_ to  _green._

"Will you ever show me what you're capable of?"

Riven huffed a laugh. "Maybe, if I consider you're worthy of it."

"What should I do to be worthy of it?" Orlon asked her, his curiosity getting the best of him.

"Be loyal to me." Riven finished. "Now let's go, I've got a Demacian ass to kick."

She hurried away, leaving him behind for a second which he used to curse her name away, before catching up with the Noxian, ready to start a new kind of training.

* * *

"Let me go, Sao."

"Irelia, you're being unreasonable—"

" _She was beating him up!"_

"Yeah, and he somehow sent her  _flying away!"_

Irelia tried to move past her friend, but failed as the blonde managed to get on her way once more.

It infuriated her. "Let me  _go!"_

She tried to power through her, pushing her to a side, but Sao successfully caught her arm and made her spin with her, pushing her back to the balcony where she had been watching Riven and Orlon from, having been a witness ro Riven's loss of composure, Orlon's magical reveal.

"I will  _not_ let you go until you see fucking  _reason,_ Irelia!" Sao roared back, having come to Irelia to tell her about her discoveries regarding Riven and how she was being abused somehow, her timing being perfect for she reached her friend just in time to see Riven explode and Orlon follow suit.

Irelia then had shouted that the Noxian was  _dangerous_ and that she  _hadn't changed at all,_ deciding she should kick her out of Ionia, her invitation being a  _stupid mistake_ , getting ready to do so, even going as far as considering the idea of an execution, when Sao stopped her and tried to talk her into seeing the big picture, telling her about how Riven had it worse than anyone else, how she had marks on her body that Sao concluded couldn't have appeared due to training and how they should investigate further before making any rash decisions.

It had only fueled Irelia's anger.

It had only given Sao a reason to stop Irelia from ever leaving that room.

"See fucking reason?" She replied, scoffing, "I can't believe you're siding with a  _Noxian,_ Sao."

"I'm siding with a  _human being,_ Irelia." Sao said back in anger, "A human being who's being abused by her peers and she's not doing anything about it because she doesn't want to get in your nerves."

"She already did that."

" _Because she's been pushed over that edge!"_ Sao roared, "Fucking listen to me and—"

She quieted down as Irelia hushed her, her eyes out on the training camp.

* * *

"Okay, Orlon, enjoy these minutes of kindness because these will be the last you'll get from me," Riven said, suddenly walking fast, her strut so decisive and strong it made her look like a predator as she approached the pile of swords and grabbed two, throwing one in Orlon's direction.

The boy caught the sword and looked at her, confused at her sudden change of demeanor, specially the tone she had used, so authoritative, so strong, rude and powerful all of a sudden, so contrasting to the tone she had been using before.

It demanded attention. It demanded respect.

It made him terrified of her, the complete shift that made her go from a friend to a stranger.

From an ally to an enemy.

Riven stared at him with a furrowed brow, "Game's rules have changed, boy."

He felt his blood run cold.

He realized then that it wasn't Riven talking to him.

That was the Hand of Noxus, brought back to life for the sole purpose of training him.

Of helping her friend survive the Ionian jackasses around them.

"You will learn your lessons as we go." She said, twirling the blade on her fingers.

This time, she  _was_ showing off.

"If you learn, good for you. Means you survive yet another day. If you don't…" She smiled at him, but there was only cruelty on her face. "Nobody will really miss you, will they?"

It was so uncannily cold, so horrible and awful.

"But I don't know how—"

He couldn't finish the sentence for Riven was talking long steps towards him.

Instinctively, he raised his sword.

"You will know how," She said, that sadistic smile still on, " _Parry!"_

And it had been the only warning she had given him as she tried to attack.

He managed to deflect the blow, but it had been loaded with strength and it had required him to use all of his own.

And the worst part was that Riven was already moving, ready to attack again.

* * *

Irelia and Sao watched as Riven ferociously attacked Orlon, her teaching method having done a one-eighty turn as she had no mercy left for the boy, striking him without caring whether she hurt him or not, probably not giving her all but doing enough that it was already offending just how much advantage she had over him.

And little did they know she was lacking coordination, for the alcohol had done its' desired effect.

One could only imagine just how strong she actually was.

They watched as Riven made him fall to the ground and circled her like a hungry shark preparing to attack a drowning swimmer.

* * *

"Stand up,  _coward."_ She said, kicking dirt in his direction. "Killing you like this would be a disgrace for both you and I," She inhaled deeply and, " _Stand up!"_ She roared.

"Stop that—"

She kicked him on the side. "Shut the fuck up and stand up,  _useless Demacian!"_

He grabbed the wooden sword and quickly stood up, roaring in fury as he tried to attack her, his wooden sword on fire as he lost control.

Riven evaded him successfully and dodged his attacks, before attacking him once his blade had turned to ashes.

Orlon ran towards the sword pile and picked another one up, trying to keep his composure so as not to burn that sword too.

He met her sword with his own and, taking advantage of the fraction of a second that it took Riven to move again, he threw his other hand out and fire came out of it in her direction.

Riven ducked right on time.

"Yes," She said, loud enough for him to hear. "Like that. Use your every resource as wisely as you can."

And before he could react to her praise, she attacked once more.

* * *

Irelia and Sao watched as Orlon's magic, raw, uncontrolled and undisciplined, became a part of the fight.

And everyone knew that a novice in magic was far more dangerous than a honed warlock, for it meant that their lack of control made them a million times more unpredictable.

But it didn't seem to bother Riven, not even a bare minimum.

She was dodging his every firey attack, meeting his sword with hers and challenging him to take it up a notch or fall short to her skill.

They watched for a while, in silence.

"I told you."

Irelia looked at her out of the corner of her eye. "She's a threat."

"Yeah, to your mental stability, maybe." Sao said, facing her, an angry glare on her pretty features.

"She's—"

"Training him the only way she knows how to," Sao said, "Noxian style."

"She should be abiding by our rules, not playing with her own." Irelia complained.

"She  _tried_ and people gave her Hell," Sao barked back, "So if people are going to give her shit for being who she is and nothing else, she might as well do whatever the fuck she pleases, Irelia." She rolled her eyes, "It's not like she's hurting anyone—"

"She's hurting that kid—"

"—without them consenting to her type of training."

Irelia's mouth, which had been open to retaliate, suddenly shut close.

Sao continued. "She tried and it didn't work, Irelia, just like it wasn't working with the Demacian kid, either. Let them try her way. It might be just what they need." She smirked as a thought came to her, "Maybe there's something Ionia can learn from Noxus."

Irelia glared at her at that. Sao merely shrugged her shoulders and turned to leave.

"Try to give it a thought, Captain." Sao said on her way out. "Maybe you've been too busy looking for that Noxian pride in her to notice you're being the proud one, now."

It wasn't okay with Irelia, to have her friend talking to her like that. " _Sao,"_ And there was a warning in her tone.

"There's no worse blind that the one who just doesn't want to see.  _Stop being blind,_ Irelia."

She could only stare after Sao as the woman walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.

Her eyes naturally went back to Riven and Orlon.

_So vicious. So wrong._

But then again, that wooden sword wasn't really going to his throat, his eyes, those places where it could  _really_ do some damage.

It was aimed at places where it would hurt like  _Hell,_ maybe even bruise, but not injure him too badly.

Irelia hated to hear the truth whenever she was on the wrong.

Still, if there was something people liked about her, was her ability to own her mistakes.

She took a seat by the balcony, letting out a sigh as she did so.

_This one mistake will take long for me to own._

_Ionian pride and all that._

Minimizing it eased her angry soul.

It didn't make her right, though.

She knew she wasn't right.

She'd have to see reason, eventually.

_No worse blind than the conscious one._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello y'all!!! Happy Easter!


	7. The Games We Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riven feels more confident in her opponents' game. While on it, she strategizes by her own rules.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTE:
> 
> HELLO! I'm back from the dead (midterms)!
> 
> Sorry for the long wait, but life suddenly made me her bitch lmao.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy and leave your thoughts below!

 

She didn't feel every tick of the clock anymore. If she thought about it, she couldn't recall the last time she had heard it.

Time slowly began to go fast for Riven. Minutes, hours, days, weeks,  _months._ It all went by, so fast.

Things, once again, changed.

For good, this time.

Her new training with Orlon proved to be more effective than anything else they had tried before; the kid learned at an unmatched pace whenever he was faced with the right amount of stress.

His magic was far in more control than when they had started. She couldn't teach him how to handle his own power, but she could offer a space where he could explore it without feeling fear.

He became a better fighter, a better wrestler, a better archer.

A better soldier.

He actually presented a challenge for Riven, sometimes.

 _Only sometimes._ She still crushed him if she wanted to do so.

So much had changed.

He wasn't a lanky, awkward thing anymore: he had gotten bigger.

Stronger.

More confident.

Borderline  _cocky,_ but in a good way. He deserved to be cocky.

It really made him shine in a new, different light, all this training with Riven bringing out more things in him than he would have ever imagined.

Riven could swear even his voice had gotten deeper, even if it was just a bit, not sounding as awkward and cracky as before.

Sao still tried to pair them up whenever she could, but often times she'd pair them with other people, if only to test Orlon's limits and give Riven an opportunity to torture someone else for a while.

Orlon would  _always_ defeat his partner, no matter who it was.

Only Zeylos managed to give him a  _really_  rough time.

And it surprised her, if she was honest, the fact that he was so lucid and he could do the things he did, not because she doubted him but because he was sleeping so much more than usual, taking longer to wake up every morning.

Which reminded her of how, slowly but surely, that nightly attacker that would try to torture her in her sleep subsided.

It didn't mean she could sleep any better, though.

Nightmares didn't bother her anymore, but she doubted her mind was getting any better at keeping them at bay.

 _Maybe_ someone else  _is helping me with that matter…_

And still, nightmares present or not, she couldn't sleep. She had always been a nightly creature, after all.

So she didn't sleep that much at night, but instead of it being due to threats to her own life, it was due to her own brain.

She'd wake up  _every night_ at the same time, as she'd do in Targon.

The first few times she did, she rolled around in bed, trying to go back to sleep.

It never worked, of course.

So after a week or two, she started getting up and, quietly, going out of the room, letting herself wander the Placidium's halls, much like she did with the Temple before.

Every time she sneaked out of the room, she would count every door that she saw as she walked.

There were uncountable doors  _everywhere._ She wanted to open them all.

She didn't though.

She'd say it was out of respect for the Ionian people and how she shouldn't snoop around in the Placidium, her wandering being bad enough already.

She'd  _never_ admit it was due to fear of coming across Irelia, accidentally entering her room by chance.

So she walked around, minding her own business, finding peace in her quiet promenades, enjoying the only moments of solitude she'd have in that place, ignoring the primal impulse of satiating her curiosity by opening every door she saw as she made her way...

…until one night where her solitude was cut short by an accidental rendezvous.

She was walking around the strange halls, navigating them like a blindfolded man in a maze, when she realized she suddenly recognized the room she was in; something about the walls, the paintings hanging from them, the floor that was now wood instead of marble…

She knew that place. She had been in there, before.

She would have been mortified, had she known she had accidentally wandered into the eastern wing.

The Captain's wing.

She was trying to remember  _why_ she knew those halls when she saw a figure a few feet away, standing still.

Frozen in place at her sight, just like herself, also paralyzed.

The halls were only illuminated by the moonlight that entered through the high windows so they were fairly dark, the lack of proper lighting making it very hard for Riven to identify who that person —a woman —was, with the little light present only serving the purpose of outlining her figure, her body covered by what looked like a nightgown.

Her hair. Blue of sorts.

She could feel her ice-cold stare on her.

And that alone made Riven feel her blood running cold.

"What are you doing here?"

Judging by her tone, it was clear Irelia didn't like her presence around that wing of the Placidium, specially at night.

Not like Riven was enjoying the chance encounter, either.

"I was just walking around."

"Why?"

"I can't sleep."

"Why?"

Riven closed her eyes for a second. "I just can't."

She had  _never_ liked it when people asked about the topic, nevermind it was Irelia asking her this time.

Irelia watched her for a moment as Riven opened her eyes again and looked right back at her, the Ionian woman looking so out of place with that nightgown on instead of her usual attire, the feeling of her eyes on her making Riven picture an angry cat getting ready to scratch her face.

But then she heard Irelia sigh, "Me neither." She offered, replying to the question she knew Riven wanted to ask but would never utter.

"Do you want me to—"

"To what?"

"...to go back to my room?" Riven finished, taken aback by Irelia's sudden question, not even letting her finish her own sentence.

Irelia looked at her with wide eyes, "Oh," Before shaking her head a bit, "I guess you don't have to, if you don't want to." She had a question, then, "How long have you been walking around?"

Riven frowned. "As in, just now? Or how long in terms of how many nights?"

"Nights."

"It's been a month, now."

"Oh." She frowned, "I never saw you around before."

And Riven knew exactly what she was doing by saying that.

She knew Irelia was veiling a confession with a seemingly innocent statement, for what she had said meant she wandered around the Placidium at night, too.

It meant she didn't sleep much, either.

"I think this is the first time I walk around here. The Placidium is big and maze-like."

"How did you get here?"

Riven shrugged, "By walking around."

"By chance, then?"

Riven nodded. "By chance."

"Okay."

"Really, if you want me to leave then—"

"Were you doing something you shouldn't?"

"No—"

"Then it's fine." Irelia stated, "You don't have to leave if you don't want to."

Riven had never felt so awkwardly out of place in her life.

Ever.

"Okay," Riven said, nodding her head, slowly backing out—

"You've been doing well."

Riven froze.

"During training, I mean." Irelia added, glancing at her briefly, nodding her head. "You're doing a good job with Orlon."

Riven frowned. "You know him?"

Irelia nodded, "It's my job to know everyone who comes into this palace. He looks stronger." She went back to the previous topic.

"Yeah," Riven nodded, "We've been… working… out." She had a hard time not trailing off, feeling too uncomfortable with the circumstances she was under.

"Hard."

Riven nodded. "Hard."

Then silence—

Riven let out a yawn, "I should go to sleep." She bowed her head, "Goodnight, Captain."

"Yeah. Goodnight, soldier." Irelia replied with a faint voice.

And Riven quickly hurried out of the room.

Just to make sure she didn't come across Irelia again, at least for that night, Riven quickly went back to her dorm and got in bed, too wired to sleep but too uncomfortable to be out.

Eventually, nighttime worked its' magic on her, though.

* * *

She woke up a bit later than usual, surprised at how she had slept past her usual time.

Quietly, she called Orlon's name, which usually sufficed to wake the boy up.

She got out of bed and got dressed.

She turned to look at Orlon and realized he was still passed out.

Unusual.

"Orlon," She said in a hushed voice, getting near to the boy's body. "Wake up."

Still, no response.

She placed her hand on his shoulder, ready to shake him awake—

She caught sight of something on his neck. A dark spot on his skin.

She moved the covers away—

His whole body was covered in bruises and cuts, much like hers had been.

Nothing life-threatening, but definitely done by someone else.

He moved towards her, then.

Riven quickly washed away any emotion from her face.

"What's the matter?" He asked her in a groggy voice.

"You weren't waking up." She threw him his clothing, "Get out of bed, lazy ass. I'll wait outside."

She quickly got out of the dorm and, as soon as she was out of Orlon's sight, she slowly exhaled, letting herself use the brief seconds of solitude to analyze the newfound information.

Of  _course_ Zeylos wasn't targeting her anymore; he had found someone else to torture.

Someone not as experienced as her, someone more easily intimidated than her.

_Foolish me, thinking he had just gotten bored of it and not of the victim._

He was targeting the nicest one of the pack, now. The only one who had done nothing to deserve it.

She wanted to go in there and kill him.

She  _would_ go in there and kill him, but she had to be smart about it.

She'd have to think.

She quickly cleaned her face from her anger once more as Orlon opened the door, "Sorry about that," He said, his voice croaky with sleep as he yawned, "I don't know what's going on with my sleeping patterns."

Suddenly it all made sense in Riven's head. After all, how asleep you need your victim to be if you wanted to harm them without waking them up?

Definitely enough that you'd have to drug them up.

"Well, whatever it is, fix it  _quick."_ Riven replied in a bark, "Or next time I'll wake you up with a blade to your throat."

Orlon smirked at her, "Do that and you might end up bald with how badly I'm going to burn your hair."

She  _knew_ he was still intimidated by her; it was subtle, but it was still there and she could see the signs. Still, she had to admit, he was getting very good at hiding it and even answering back.

It made her chuckle. "Let's go."

* * *

They practiced bare-handed sparring until the others came out for training.

Their bodies were already sweaty and warmed up while their colleagues was dry and cold, still stiff, hard and slow with slumber's spell on it.

They didn't care, though. They kept fighting as they came.

They couldn't hear the other soldiers' comments on their fight as they kept going, uncaring for whatever they had to say, uncaring for the fact that their formal training was about to start.

Little did they know, they couldn't hear them not because of the adrenaline of the fight making them blind and deaf to their surroundings, but because they hadn't uttered a word.

Everyone was staring at them.

Everyone, in a complete silence.

They were watching because finally, after so long, Riven stopped holding back.

She was being merciless.

Orlon couldn't land a hit, while Riven landed all of hers, perfectly dodging or blocking his.

She pushed his guarded hands with her left as a distraction and brutally punched him on his uncovered side.

As Orlon bent in pain, she connected her shin to his head and brought him down to the ground with a quick roundhouse kick.

It didn't stop there.

She placed herself on top of him and punched him on the face, mercilessly.

Orlon quickly caught one of her fists and bucked his hips upwards towards her, making her fly away from him.

As she landed next to him on her back, he laid his chest against hers and hit her on her side as he brought his knees close to secure position.

Riven turned towards him and pushed away, but Orlon wasn't letting her out, his weight on top of her making it hard for her to escape.

He waited until she stopped moving so much and switched positions, placing his knee on her stomach, a simple technique she had taught him would burn any opponent out quickly as he found a way to attack.

She had never showed him how to escape it.

She placed a hand on his knee and another one on his foot, still on the ground, and pushed away, making him land on the ground next to her, face first.

She got on his back and placed her arm around his neck—

He rolled forwards to try and leave her behind, escaping her hold on him.

Riven kept her legs wrapped around his waist from behind and quickly found his neck again.

Without any hesitation, she locked her arms around his neck at an impressive speed and pressed hard—

He quickly tapped out, coughing in pain as she released him.

"That's what you get for doing the  _knee-on-belly_ tactique." Riven said as she breathed in and out, slowly getting up from the ground.

"You didn't like that one bit." Orlon teased through an itchy throat.

Riven smiled, "Do it again and I'll ignore the tap out."

They both turned around as they heard someone clear her throat.

"If you two finished, we would like to start today's training." Sao said in a serious way that Riven knew meant she was teasing, but nobody else could catch it yet.

"Sorry, Captain Sao." She quickly said, bowing her head with a smile on her face.

Sao raised her brow at her. "Forgiven. Now," She turned everyone, "As surprising as the coincidence may seem, we were actually going to practice hand to hand combat today. I'll form the pairs."

So she started pairing them and, as she did, the small teams started fighting one another.

She heard noise behind her and turned to look at Orlon and Riven, who were about to keep fighting, "Oh, no. You two go separated today."

"Sounds fair." Orlon said, letting Sao pair him with someone else for a while, happy to be away of Riven's fury for a while, sticking his tongue out at her as he ran away with some other guy while Riven flipped him off.

"Now you…" She mused out loud, trying to come up with the right sparring partner for Riven. "Who am I going to put you with?" She turned to the rest, as Riven stood by her side.

No one dared look at them, in fear of being paired with the Noxian.

Sao huffed a laugh. "Guess your little demonstration a minute ago scared them off."

"Could you do me a favor?"

Sao frowned at her: she hadn't expected the weird question . "What is it?"

Riven was staring at some girl, intently. "Could you pair me with  _her?"_ She asked, nodding her head once in the girl's direction.

Sao looked. As tall as Riven, with platinum blonde hair and a body complexion similar to the Noxian's, who was avoiding their eyes at all costs, if only to not be chosen to fight the crazy white haired warrior.

An equal of sorts, physically speaking.

"With Sanoh?" She saw Riven nod. "Why?"

Riven shrugged. "No apparent reason." She said, smirking a bit, feigning nonchalance, but the way Sao was looking at her meant she didn't buy it. so Riven shrugged with a fake look of hurt in her eyes and added, "I can't believe you'd think I'd have a secret motive. I'm disappointed at you, Captain."

"I can't trust a Noxian that easily," Sao half-joked, not really meaning it but knowing she couldn't trust Riven to really have no real reason to request a certain, specific sparring partner.

Riven sighed, "You will know my reasons when the time is right." She looked at Sao with sheepish eyes, "Is that a good enough answer for now?" And before the girl could complain, she added, "Because that's all I have to offer."

Sao sighed, too, "Fine." She turned to look at the free warriors. "Sanoh! You're up against Riven."

She hid the chuckle that came out of her mouth with her hand as she saw the novice swear under her breath, but oblige and come forwards to meet her new opponent.

Riven bowed her head a bit, offering her an open hand, watching the girl as she hesitantly shook it. "Hi, I'm Riven."

"Sanoh."

Judging by her tone, she was clearly not enjoying herself.

Riven guided her away from Sao, amongst the others, "Relax, I'm not going to bite your head off or something."

The girl made a bewildered face, "Are you sure? You looked close to doing that with that kid."

Riven smirked, "I train that hard with Orlon because we both agreed to it." She turned to face Sanoh, "I'm not going to do that with you if that's not what you're looking for."

And as she got on guard, as the other girl did it too, she noticed Sanoh looking at her with a clearly uncomfortable expression, doubt in her eyes, and offered her a warm smile.

"I promise," She mouthed, before nodding her head once.

It seemed to soothe the doubting girl a bit.

"Come on, start throwing," Riven offered, motioning with her hands for the girl to come forwards.

Sanoh obliged and slowly but surely started throwing jabs and crosses at her.

"Great," Riven let out as she received the punches with her guard, "Keep them coming."

She kept receiving the slow, soft blows time after time, pushing Sanoh to throw harder, faster, more daring attacks and cheering her whenever she did, encouraging them as she got more and more vicious with every try, a wild look on her eyes and a feral smile on her lips.

Eventually, whenever Sanoh overreached and offered an easy blow, Riven would punch her back, though her hits weren't hard at all, the Noxian barely touching the other woman.

"Don't get too excited and forget about your own defense." She warned, watching as the Ionian girl nodded her head and even murmured a small  _thank you_ for the advice, having realised the Noxian wasn't that bad after all.

Eventually, Riven grew quiet and flowed with the girl's attacks, defending herself, dodging occasionally, even retaliating sometimes.

There was something on her mind, though.

"Sanoh,"

The girl faltered as she moved, for Riven had said her name in such a way, so different to the banter-like teaching from before—

"I need to ask you a favor," She continued, her eyes intense with something Sanoh couldn't quite describe.

The girl felt a bit uncomfortable at the intensity. "What do you need?"

She couldn't tell her right there, at that moment. "Meet me after training, at lunch."

* * *

The room was quiet as a graveyard. Even the crickets seemed to be quieter than usual.

But nighttime never failed to see its' own routine happen, because just like every night, the woman located on the bed on top of Orlon's got up and slowly, silently, slumbery, she got out of the room to wander the palace.

Meanwhile, her friend was still asleep on the bottom bed.

_Perfect._

As usual.

The big, bouldering man got out of his own bed with a stealth so unlike him it seemed stolen from someone else, not making a sound as he got on the ground and sneaked his way towards the sleeping Demacian.

He got out a small flask he had and dampened his shirt with it.

He placed it on top of Orlon's mouth and nose and waited for a bit.

Once he was satisfied with how much time had passed, he released him.

And pulled out a switchblade.

His free hand grabbed the boy with a grip so strong it would bruise his skin and, slowly, he approached that cold, steel blade to his neck, hoping to carve something new into his flesh—

He felt desperation quickly taking over him as he suddenly couldn't breathe, slender yet strong arms around his neck forbidding him from doing so.

His attacker threw him to the ground and quickly climbed on top of him, pinning him to the ground easily.

" _Impossible—"_

Riven punched him on the jaw and made him quiet down.

She didn't do it to keep her endeavors silent, though.

The Noxian was angry enough at him for all of what he had done to her, for all the cutting and bruising he did to her body, but now that he was doing it to  _Orlon…_

The rage, the  _fury_ she felt was unbearable.

She punched him relentlessly, not caring about the noise she made as slowly, but surely, the other sleeping soldiers started to wake up, not letting Zeylos escape her as he bridged his hips, trying to make her fall and failing miserably as she hold onto him tightly.

She heard them yell at her to stop, she felt them approach her, but one deadly look from —now greenish —red eyes was enough to quiet them down and make them stand back.

The distraction was enough for Zeylos to bridge his hips once more and finally push Riven away from him, quickly turning around to look at her.

The Noxian was a honed warrior, though, and as she fell on top of her head on the floor, she let her shoulders touch the ground too and balanced herself on them, before letting herself fall back on Zeylos.

As her legs found his back, she quickly wrapped them around him and started punching him again, not caring at how her forehead scrapped against the ground every time he moved around.

Eventually she found her ground over him and quickly crawled backwards, successfully latching onto his back.

As he was on all fours, she wrapped one of her arms around his neck and used her free hand to grab him by the hair.

She banged his head against the ground repeatedly and, once he didn't move around as much, exhaustion overcoming the adrenaline on his body, she used her legs to help herself turn him around and once again be on top of him.

She felt satisfaction upon seeing his bruised face, both of his eyes swollen and black with the fury of her hits, a cut on his cheekbone and a bloody nose.

But it was not enough.

She started punching him again, hit after hit, fist after fist, letting out her anger at him in the form of strikes for her, pain for him.

She felt the crunch of his nose breaking against her knuckles and kept going, not caring at how he didn't fight her as much anymore.

Suddenly she felt herself being held back, lifted from his broken body and held in the air by someone strong, someone big.

As she fought against whoever stopped her, she saw a woman stand in front of her and hold her hands back, a girl who looked like her standing behind her.

Her eyes couldn't focus on Sao, who was screaming at her face to stop, nor on Sanoh, who stood behind her with confusion and fear on her face, tears on her eyes.

Her eyes kept looking for Zeylos, her ears ringing with the deafening silence of her own rage, the world being so quiet she could hear the blood that rushed through her veins.

She wanted to kill him.

She was really close to doing it.

She could do it.

She kicked the man who held her from behind —Ban, she'd later find out —on his shins and, as his grip faltered, she released herself, quickly wringing herself free from his sister and landing on top of Zeylos, putting her thumbs on his eyes and—

" _Riven!"_

—And she froze in place, her hands as stiff as a rock, but not applying pressure on her foe.

Riven slowly looked up.

Irelia, still on her nightgown, was looking back at her, her typical frown in place, looking every bit like the authority she was, despite her dissonant attire.

Irelia looked at Ban and nodded her head in Riven's direction.

The man immediately grabbed her again and, the Noxian limp this time, took her out of the room.

Before she was out of the room, though, "Hey, Zeylos."

She knew he was still conscious, even if it was a little bit.

She knew he was listening.

She smiled, not caring whether he could see her or not as she stared at his ugly face from Ban's grip. "I kept my promise," She said, "I beat you up beyond recognition."

Her words made the man scream at her from his place on the ground, forcing Ban to get the grinning woman out of the room as the bloody pulp of a man that laid there on his own blood finally passed out.

She had played by her own rules and, in her head, she had won.

Nevermind what others thought.

The last thing Riven saw was Sao grabbing the fallen man and slowly lifting him from the ground before the door was closed on her face and it was only Ban, Irelia and herself.

_Game over._


	8. Instant Gratification

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riven faces Irelia's decisions regarding her inadequate behavior.

In out, in out.

Not a fly dared venture the air of her office.

In out, in out.

Not a sound, but that of Riven's own heavy breathing.

In out, in out.

There wasn't enough air inside that box made of walls to satisfy her lungs' needs.

In out, in out.

She didn't know how she had made it to Irelia's office.

In out, in out.

She tried to remember and it was all fuzzy in her mind, but she recalled something like Irelia commanding Ban to release her and then walking to her office, with her following behind like she knew she had to.

In out, in out.

Just like that.  _That_ easy.

In out, in—

She held it for a moment before—

—Out.

Her lungs were finally satisfied.

Now there was no more sound in Irelia's office as she sat on her chair, Riven on the one right in front of her, her breathing finally quiet.

Still, they didn't speak.

Riven's eyes were cast on the desk between them, somewhere to her side.

Irelia's, on the other hand, were on Riven's.

She had stared at her eyes ever since sitting down, watching how the green that had appeared on top of the red slowly faded away, revealing that crimson color once more.

She had seen the hair on Riven's head stand on end, before coming down to its' normal position once she regained control.

She had caught sight the woman's jaw subtly quiver, before the movement stopped as she relaxed and closed her mouth, breathing normally through her nose.

And now she simply watched her in silence, her elbows on her desk, her hands covering half her face as she rested her head on them.

"Do it."

The Noxian's demand was met with silence.

"Get over with it." She said, gazing at Irelia out of the corner of her eye. "Do what you've wanted to do ever since I laid a foot on your country and kick me out. Dishonor me, send me back home, shame my name, ridicule me."

She sighed and waited for Irelia to finally dictate the sentence, not looking at her while she waited for that calm silence of hers drove her insane.

Irelia obliged.

"From now on, you will not be staying with the Ionian rookies anymore. You are forbidden to sleep with them, train with them, invade their spaces."

Riven knew it was coming.

She felt Irelia shift on her seat a bit, then—

"You will be staying in the Captain's wing, in a private bedroom, all for yourself."

Riven's eyes darted towards Irelia, the Noxian having not expected that. "What—"

"You'll have your meals in the same dining room as them, but you will not stay in the soldiers' wing and you will definitely  _not_ train with them anymore, with Orlon being the only exception." Irelia leaned forwards, "You will sleep in your own bedroom and will serve as Orlon's personal trainer, except for the moments when you'll be training with the captains." Irelia got comfortable, ignoring Riven's look of confusion. "Orlon will remain in the soldiers' wing, though he will be allowed to be trained by you. Zeylos, on the other hand, won't have such luck."

"What will you do to him?"

Irelia raised a brow. "Me? To him? Nothing."

"Will he be kicked out—"

"He'll remain a soldier, but his bed will be a small wooden rowboat on the southern sea, with the waves eager to rock him into sleep." Irelia's gaze never left her own, "He will have to make it all the way from his new bed to the training camps before training starts every day by foot and foot alone and will be allowed to leave once his responsibilities are over, walking being his only means of transportation. Now," Irelia got up from her seat, "If you wouldn't mind following me, I'll show you your new room and go back to mine."

Riven watched her with a deep frown on her face, her head shaking from side to side. "I don't understand. Is this a joke of sorts?"

Irelia didn't seem like she was joking, though, "What part don't you understand?"

"All of it," Riven got up from her seat, "You're not punishing me."

Irelia's brows rose as she thought a bit about it. "Depends on what you understand by punishment, but not really."

"Are you rewarding me?"

"No. I'm simply moving you to another area."

"But Zeylos—"

" _Zeylos_ has been  _misbehaving."_ Irelia interrupted her, icy eyes unreadable. "Both with Orlon and you."

"How do you—"

"I told you once, I believe," Irelia said, her voice as calm as her eyes, as mysterious as them. "That it is my job to know everyone in here and whatever's going on with them, at all times."

 _That awfully awkward_   _encounter with her._ "Yeah, you did."

"I've known about Zeylos' misconduct for a while—"

"Then why didn't you do anything about it?"

Irelia watched Riven.

There was a  _certain_ accusatory tone in her voice.

She chose not to address it.

"Because I can't take up arms against someone in a scenario like this one without a formal accusation. You chose not to say anything about it  _despite having had the chance to do so_ and therefore I couldn't act until it escalated, which it did."

Riven's eyes widened.

_Sao. When she asked me about it._

"Do you understand now?" Irelia asked her, making the wide-eyed Noxian nod. "Perfect. Now, if you'd be so kind as to follow me…"

Riven silently waited for Irelia to open the door to her office and walk out after her, navigating the corridors only one step behind the Captain.

"Sao told you about it, didn't she?"

"No."

The reply took Riven by surprise; she had been certain the other captain had a hand on Irelia knowing about Zeylos' behavior. "Then how—"

"I've been watching you train." Irelia confessed, halting her walking only to turn around and look at her, Riven almost bumping against the Ionian. "I've been watching you and Orlon training more than anyone else, starting before sunrise and finishing near midnight. I've seen him use his power on you and I've seen you tap into yours." She did not miss how Riven gulped at her observation, "And when we crossed paths that one night, I did see your arms, cut and blackened with bruises." Her gaze relaxed a bit, a mercy of some kind, "Sao  _did_ tell me she believed Zeylos had been abusive to some of his peers, but she had kept your identity a secret, for she believed it was  _your right_  to do what you deemed fit with Zeylos and what he was doing to you. In conclusion, she didn't tell me too much but I'm smart enough to put two and two together."

Irelia stared at her hard for a minute, before finally turning and walking again. "Sao wanted to let you kill him." She told the Noxian in a sudden confession, "She believed it was your right to punish him whatever way you wished; since he was not playing like a Ionian, she thought it would be right for you to do the same and play by the Noxian rules with him." She moved her head around a bit, trying to ease the tension contained on her shoulders, her neck letting out small popping sounds as she did so, a small sigh escaping her lips. "She ran into that room to stop you  _only_ because she  _knows_  she  _has to,_ like Ban _._ If she hadn't done it and she had let you do your thing, she would have been in trouble." She raised a brow, " _I_ would have been her trouble. You see, she may believe you had the right to forget about how we do things around here so that you can do them your own way and in this one special occasion, I'm going to stand by her and say that she's right, but  _she herself_ doesn't have the choice to just stop abiding by her own people's rules. She  _had_ to get in there and  _had_ to try and stop you, no matter how badly she didn't want to."

Riven nodded her head, not having thought about it all for she had had no time to do so, but at the same time lacking any kind of judgement towards her blonde friend's behavior, for she didn't think anything about it and didn't really question her attitude. "And you're telling me this because…"

"Because I don't want you to think Sao turned her back on you, considering she looks like the only friend you've got in here, along with Orlon."

Riven's brows rose a bit.

_Everyone in here seems to think I lack common sense._

"I would have never thought that, Captain." Riven simply commented, "I would never question Captain Sao's decisions for I know she has a job to do." She shrugged, "I didn't take it personal." She almost laughed then, "I didn't even have time to take it personal."

Irelia nodded her head, "Good—"

"Besides, Sao and Orlon aren't my only allies in here, I think."

The words had escaped her mouth before she even had the chance to stop them.

She prayed Irelia wouldn't ask—

"No?"

_Oh, fuck._

_Well. Might as well just say it._

"No. Correct me if I'm wrong, Captain," Riven ventured, gathering her courage for her next words, "But I  _do_ believe your attitude towards me has changed  _favorably."_ She dared, looking at Irelia only to find her staring right back.

Irelia studied her, hard.

 _She didn't say_ friends.  _She said_ allies.

Riven felt how her breath got caught in her throat as she saw the shadow of a  _smirk_ on Irelia's lips.

"You're not necessarily wrong, there."

Riven had to fight the smile that threatened to appear on her lips.

"Don't get too excited about it, though."

Riven wondered how on Runeterra the other woman had guessed her emotions.

 _Guess she really_ is  _better than me in some aspects._

_Superior._

They reached a wooden door and Irelia opened it, revealing a rather luxurious room on the other side; a double sized bed with soft white pillows and smooth, deep red blankets, with a wardrobe filled with Ionian clothing to its' side, going from simple day-to-day clothes to heavy training ones. On the wall opposite to the bedroom, a vanity on a side of the room and a desk near a humongous window that overlooked the southern side of Ionia on the other, a door in between them that the Noxian could only guess took her to a private bathroom and, at the end of the bed, pretty much in the middle of the room, an open chest, which Riven was surprised to see contained the armor she had arrived with and her broken sword, too.

"Ban brought your stuff here from the rookies' bedroom while we talked," Irelia explained before the Noxian had the chance to ask, "I commanded him to."

Riven walked into her new room, marveled at the sight of it all, "All of this just for me?" She questioned out loud, unsure of whether it was true or not.

"Just for you." Irelia replied from her place at the room's door.

Riven felt she silky smooth bedsheets before turning to look at Irelia with a frown on her face, "Are you sure you're  _not_ rewarding me? Because this surely feels like a reward, Captain."

Irelia's cold gaze seemed warmer, though maybe it was due to the dim lighting. "It's not a reward, but you're free to look at it in such a way." Her eyes quickly darted to a clock that was hanging from one of Riven's new room's walls, "Considering it's  _very_ late, I'll head to my own room now."

"Where are you staying?"

_And yet again, word hemorrage._

She wondered whether she should worry about how she blurted her thoughts out around the Ionian.

"Walking out of this room, I'm two doors to the left. Walk past two and the third door you see will be mine." Irelia responded.

_And yet again, she answers._

She wondered whether she should worry about how Irelia answered all her blurted thoughts.

Riven nodded her head, "Okay, thank you."

And they both were unsure what Riven was thanking the Captain for.

Still, Irelia responded, "You're welcome." And, nodding her head once, "Goodnight," She closed the door and was out.

Riven sighed as the last bits of adrenaline escaped her body and the Noxian allowed herself to fall back on the bed.

She couldn't help the groan that escaped her mouth as she felt just how soft the mattress was.

_Damn you, Captain, for pampering me._

And without further warning, she fell asleep without talking to her nightly Goddess, for the first time in a while.

_Damn you, Captain, for whatever Hell you're making me walk into._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Long delay for me, I know, but I got into Killing Eve AND College was kicking my butt so you can only imagine... the mess... my mind has been.
> 
> Also, a bit short? But I promise this is getting interesting... I hope lmfao
> 
> ANYWAY lemme know what u think!


	9. Threats And Promotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A threat is made, a promotion is given.

Things, apparently, couldn't stay in an unaltered state for too long for things had, once more, changed for Riven.

This time, due to Irelia's very personal intervention.

She woke up rather late the morning after her encounter with Zeylos; not late enough that she was missing training, but not early enough to train Orlon.

She jumped out of the bed, realizing she had fallen asleep on top of it and got dressed in the blink of an eye, sprinting her way to the training camps.

Orlon had been waiting there for her, the Demacian regarding her with a surprised look as she made her way towards him. "I was starting to wonder whether you were still alive or not, considering you were  _dragged_ out of the room by Captain Ban."

"I'm alive," Riven replied as she reached him, "Much to my surprise."

Orlon was frowning, "What happened last night?" He asked her, confused about the situation as he had been drugged and knew only what the other soldiers were willing to tell him in the morning, when he asked around where Riven was.

Riven  _glared_ at him. "When were you going to tell me about  _this?"_ She asked him, moving the collar of his robe away in a harsh movement, displaying a bruise she knew he had on there.

He pushed her hand away instinctively, protecting himself from the pain of someone touching his harmed body. "Tell you  _what?"_ He asked her, genuinely. "That I hurt myself in my sleep?"

Riven's bravado faltered, "You mean to tell me you don't know where all of these came from?"

Orlon's face was contorted in a worried expression as he shook his head no, making Riven sigh.

She calmed down. "You don't  _hurt yourself_ in your sleep. It was  _Zeylos_ who did it." She watched the boy as he inspected his own body with a bit of shock in his eyes, "He would drug you with something so that you wouldn't wake up and then he'd do whatever he pleased to your body." And, once she saw the question that burned in his eyes, she added, "I know because he would do the same to me, but he stopped once he realized it would have no effect on me."

His eyes were wide, "It had  _no effect_ on you?"

She shrugged, "I didn't care enough to do something about it."

"But you  _did_ care enough when he did it to me?"

And there was an accusatory tone to his words.

Riven knew he was mad that he didn't know about Zeylos abusing Riven's body.

He was even madder that she hadn't done anything about it, let alone tell him.

Riven's eyes were intense, "I don't take things like this lightly, Orlon." She started, "I  _could_ have told you or the Captains, but I wanted to take care of the matter myself. I  _could_ have attacked him one of those nights, but he  _could_ have claimed that all the bruises and cuts on my body were put there out of self defense. It is no accident that he didn't drug me but he did with you; he  _wanted_ me to react, probably in the hopes of getting me kicked out of Ionia. I  _had_ to strategize to get him but then he turned to the  _one person_ that I would  _not_ tolerate having him harm."

She sighed once more, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with her hands. "I wanted to hurt him,  _badly,_ but I couldn't do it until I had a very good reason to or, worst case scenario, until I exploded." She continued, "Maybe I could have had a better explanation, but I couldn't wait until then because I couldn't take it anymore: I did, in fact, explode." She looked at him, "You're my  _friend_ and I don't want  _anyone_ hurting you, specially if you don't deserve it."

Orlon was watching her, that anger that had slowly built up slowly dissipating. "Well, he  _did_ achieve what he wanted, then." When Riven frowned at him, he raised a brow, "He got you to react."

Riven smirked, "Yes, but it didn't go as he wanted it to."

"I woke up and he wasn't there, this morning."

Riven shook her head. "Captain Irelia punished him for his behavior by kicking him out of the dorms. Now, he sleeps on a boat in the middle of the Southern Sea."

Orlon couldn't help the laugh that came out of his mouth at Riven's words. "And what about you? Which was your punishment?"

"Surprisingly so, I wasn't punished."

Orlon frowned. "No?"

Riven shook her head. "I was moved to a private bedroom in the Captain's wing." She nodded her head at Orlon's wild look of shock, " _And_ I must train with the Captains, now, though I can still train you in our free time."

Orlon frowned at her, turning to look as Sao and Ban slowly made their way towards them and the rest of the soldiers, who were a few meters behind where Riven was standing. "I'm guessing now is when we split, right?"

"You're guessing  _wrong,_ Orlon." Sao replied before Riven could open her mouth, "There has been a change of plans and now Riven will be joining Ban and me as an instructor, helping us demonstrate activities and actually going through the drills with us."

And Riven froze when Sao stepped closer to her instead of walking straight, side by side with her brother, only to grab her by the arm and bring her ear closer to her mouth as she whispered, "I'll give you a challenge to keep up with,  _Noxian,"_ Before releasing her, winking at her and walking back to her brother, "Captain Irelia's direct orders!" She let out loud as an explanation to the sudden change of course, still walking away with her brother by her side, leaving Riven and Orlon behind.

Riven stared after her, blinking out of her trance once she heard Orlon, standing behind her, say, "...Okay, what the Hell was that?"

A smile slowly crept up Riven's lips. "A friendly threat," She looked at him over her shoulder. "Training shouldn't be as easy, now." She turned to follow the Captains, "Let's go."

"Listen up, soldiers!" Ban said out loud, making everyone quiet as they gathered, "After yesterday's  _shenanigans,_ there's been a few changes to our procedures."

"There has been a change on the ranks, so, from now on," Sao continued for him, "Riven will be working with  _us_ as a trainer," She allowed her eyes to roam everyone's reactions, surprise evident on everyone's faces, "So if there are any questions that you would like to ask us, you can also ask her."

"Riven," Ban called her, "Come here."

So Riven did, quickly jogging her way towards them, standing up to Sao's free side.

And as she did so, she heard Ban's booming voice again, "Oh! Look who has finally appeared!" He was smiling, though it was a cruel thing as he said, "Good morning, sleepyhead! I'm glad to see you decided to join us."

Zeylos was sluggishly making his way towards the rest of the soldiers, dark circles under his eyes as he pretty much dragged his feet on the floor.

"Captan Ban has  _addressed you,_ Soldier." Sao barked in a rather rough tone.

It made Zeylos look at her. "Yes, Captain." He turned his head to Ban as he finished his trek, "Good morning, Captain Ban." And he realized he should maybe greet Sao too, so he added, "Good morning, Captain Sao."

"You should greet the newly promoted Captain too, Zeylos."

At the man's words, Zeylos' face turned into one of confusion, but as he eyed Ban, he noticed a third figure standing with them on his peripheral vision.

He froze when he saw it was Riven.

Riven was frowning in confusion too, though.

"Excuse the ignorance," She started, making Ban and Sao look at her, "Am I the  _newly promoted Captain?"_

Sao chuckled, "Why do you think you're  _training them with us,_ now? Because we  _need your help?"_ She scoffed while she shook her head. "Don't give us so little credit,  _Captain."_

"Which reminds me," Ban said, quietly sparing Zeylos from having to bow down to Riven, " _Everyone_ should address her as Captain Riven, now." He narrowed his eyes, "She's on the same level as Sao and I are, do not forget about it." He let out in a lower voice, as if he was talking more to himself than to the crowd.

"Okay!" Sao clapped her hands together, breaking the confusing spell that the declaration of Riven's new rank put on everyone, "Time to warm up. Run for ten minutes,  _now!"_ And she watched how they spurred into action, Zeylos and Orlon included, before turning to Riven, calling over her shoulder, "Ban, keep an eye on them," Knowing very well her brother was walking away, his eyes on the moving crowd, leaving them alone.

"Did Irelia really  _promote_ me?"

"Answer me this; where are you staying now?"

Riven's eyes unfocused, "The Captain's wing."

"So you don't share your room anymore?"

Riven shook her head. "No."

"And what are your new tasks?"

"Training the soldiers."

"And  _who_ train the soldiers?"

"Ban and you."

"And what are we?"

Riven rolled her eyes, already getting the message. "Captains."

"So what would that make you, by default?"

"A Captain."

Sao nodded her head. "Congratulations! You know how to do basic math."

"Oh,  _shut up."_ She said, a certain playful tone on her voice as she shoved Sao with only a bit of malice, raising her hands when she saw Sao's offended expression, "Considering we're on the same rank now, I'm allowed to do that."

Sao slowly nodded her head, chuckling, "So you're slow to learn the theory, but quick to put it to practice, huh?"

"Exactly." Riven grinned.

And before she could enjoy her small victory, distracted by the thrill of the threat in Sao's eyes, Riven missed how the Ionian grabbed the Noxian's right shoulder with one hand, her left wrist with her other and, as she pushed her shoulder and pulled her wrist, she swept the white haired woman's foot with her own.

And thus she tripped and fell, no real effort coming from Sao, who still held her wrist while Riven's back hit the ground, a confused look on her eye as she looked up at Sao when she said, "Let me tell you it goes both ways and, unlike the rookies," Still holding Riven's hand up, she placed one of her legs behind it and used it to push Riven's elbow forward while her hands brought her wrist backwards, a makeshift armbar forcing Riven's joints and making her hiss, "I am no novice in the art of making others suffer."

And despite the pain, Riven  _smiled._ " _Good."_

Something about discovering Sao was actually rather sadistic made the Noxian inside of her feel very stimulated.

 _Too_ stimulated.

So much that she didn't feel the eyes on them.

Sao did, though. "What are you all looking at?" She questioned, her own eyes moving towards the crowd that was  _jogging,_ not  _running._ "Speed up!"

They suddenly did, afraid of having been caught.

Sao dropped Riven's hand and turned, moving away from her as Riven quickly got on her feet. "Do warm yourself up too, Noxian." Sao said, "Ban decided to act only as a  _teacher_ today so he won't be doing any kind of sparring with us, but I haven't made my way here running today for  _nothing."_ She looked at Riven, turning to watch her, "I have energy to spare and you'd better make me use every little bit of it."

Riven cleared herself from the dust that hung to her previously clean robes. "I think I've been warmed up just now," She commented, rolling her shoulders and moving her legs around a bit despite it all. "I'll make sure you're tired by the time I'm done with you."

Had she meant the innuendo or was it all just a happy accident?

Former option or latter, the hidden implications hadn't ran unnoticed by the blonde, who smirked at it but decided not to acknowledge it. Not directly, at least, as she cheekily replied, "I look forwards to that."

"Alright, newbies!" Ban roared, pointedly ignoring his sister and the Noxian. "I want you all sprinting now!"

His voice brought Riven back to reality for a second, bringing her out of the trance Sao had put her in.

Not for long, though, as she noticed Sao started running, too, the order to follow not so subtly placed in her eyes.

So Riven did.

Followed.

* * *

She had been right.

Training wasn't easy anymore.

It had evolved. It presented a challenge, now.

A threat, even.

It made the blood in her veins run hot in a pleasant way, electric currents that had been desperate to find an outlet finally reaching out and landing on its' mark.

Only the mark brings lightning with it, too, feeding electricity right back to her and recycling the process.

The drumming of her heartbeat as she's pushed not necessarily to her limits, but to that level where she has to actually put some work into it, do an effort of sorts.

She had missed it.

She liked it too much, already.

Sao and her had been going at it for a while, now.

While the trainees did some light sparring, the Ionian Captain had quite literally thrown herself at the Noxian warrior, catching Riven by surprise and actually managing to land a punch.

Right hook.

Riven's left cheek.

Absolutely  _everyone_  had stopped what they were doing to  _watch._

And that had started the seemingly endless round of fighting between the two women.

Riven had given her only a few seconds before she started to respond to her aggressions, landing as many hits as her opponent, even more.

She knew most of her body would be bruised by the day after that but the adrenaline coursing through her was enough that she didn't feel it just yet; the pain, the exhaustion, the breathlessness.

She was too busy dealing with Sao to acknowledge any of that.

The blonde was  _good,_ Riven could admit. Good enough that she forced Riven to try, and try  _hard._

It was the first time since arriving in Ionia —even considering Orlon's improvement —that she had to try hard.

But not her  _hardest._

At the end of the day, she knew she could always defeat Sao. She  _did_  challenge her to actually fight, but she could always fall back onto her fighting patterns and tactics, use them to  _win._

She did not challenge her to think of something new, to be creative, come up with something and  _learn._

It was a challenge, but by no means was it a lesson.

So she followed her patterns and feinted a dash to the right, only to actually move to the left, getting close to an overextended Sao and placing her arm on the woman's shoulders, bringing her leg behind hers and pushing, at the same time as she brought her leg back.

Sao fell to the ground.

Before she finished landing, though, Riven caught her arm and immediately allowed herself to fall with Sao, too, her legs trapping that arm she still clutched.

She smirked as Sao quickly tapped out, her arm already in too much pain as Riven brought her hips up to reinforce the quick armbar she had trapped the Ionian in.

She released her at the feeling of the desperate tapping and rolled backwards over her head, getting away from the woman, landing on her feet and getting up, offering Sao a hand.

The Ionian took it. "I hate you and your stupid grappling technique."

The cocky smirk on Riven's face wouldn't leave for a while. "What you hate is that my grappling technique is good enough to make you tap out."

Sao rolled her eyes. "Shut your mouth." She smirked, then, "At least you'll have something to remember me by tomorrow when you have a black eye."

Riven glared at her, no malice behind the gesture as she started to feel the pain on her right eye. "I will make you pay for this."

Sao grinned at her. "I can't wait."

And Riven would have replied to that, would have tried to take it up even more, but she saw the way Sao's eyes wandered to her right, grew in size a bit, saw how she took a step backwards and bowed her head a bit.

So she turned.

Irelia was looking at her.

Riven instinctively did the same as Sao, except she added a, "Captain," At the end.

Irelia nodded her head once and Riven saw how Sao stood up straight once more, so she copied her. "I came to see how you were doing."

And her eyes were on Riven's.

It was too much attention from the one person who had denied her it for too long.

"We may have gotten a bit carried away with training," Sao replied for her and Riven was suddenly grateful that she was there, "But we were about to take a small break."

Irelia's head moved in a positive motion once more. "Good." She said, her expression neutral as ever, "Make it longer than usual, if necessary," She said, before turning and making her exit.

But Sao was quick, shooting her question before she left, "Why longer?"

Irelia looked over her shoulder. "Because I'm joining the training after it."

And Riven's mind blanked.

She stared after Irelia as she left, but she wasn't focusing on the image, nor the sound anymore.

The concept of fighting Irelia pulled her into a trance so quickly she wasn't aware of it.

Her eyes unfocused, her mind white noise as her nerves fired up—

She flinched as she felt Sao's hand on her shoulder and fought back against herself, her instinct, her very nature, that roared at her to grab that hand of hers and break it, an automatically settled, immediate response for any unwanted contact.

"Sorry," Sao noticed her flinching, but not her inner turmoil. "I just saw you go somewhere else there for a minute."

Riven tried to refocus on her face, her concerned eyes. "I'm okay," She announced, "I was just thinking."

_Thinking very hard about not thinking._

"Come on," Sao patted her back, not pushing the topic anymore, "Let's go grab a bite."

Riven didn't find it in herself to tell her that she wanted to throw up, instead.

So Riven did, once more.

Followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello folks! Sorry for the long wait. Know that I ain't a quitter and this shall continue. This chapter was going to be longer, actually but I've decided to split it here and leave what's next for the next one.
> 
> Cheers!


	10. Moves And Countermoves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Irelia decides to take over their training, for a change.

Every second felt like it moved onwards way too fast and, at the same time, way too slowly.

They were already back in the training camps and she felt like time wasn’t passing, just like it passed quickly enough that she couldn’t savor her last minutes before having to face Irelia again.

She didn’t want to do it.

She would die before showing it, but she was terrified of facing Irelia.

Not because of  _ Irelia  _ per se. She realized she couldn’t recall what Irelia’s fighting was like when faced  _ against  _ her, but she didn’t mind that at all.

What terrified her were the what ifs.

The what if fighting Irelia spurred something inside of her that she had fought very hard to put down.

The what if fighting Irelia woke up the demons she had worked so hard to put to sleep.

She felt like she was doing so much better, it made her terrified of ever going back to stage one.

Because it would be harder to progress if she did.

Because she didn’t have Diana with her to help her through every step.

And neither Sao nor Orlon understood her well enough to help her out yet.

If what she feared did happen, then she would have to face it  _ alone  _ and she knew she couldn’t do that.

She had tried for so long and had failed every time.

She sighed, trying to ease her anxiety a bit, rolling her shoulders and cracking her neck.

Amidst the deadly silence of the wait —nevermind that people around her were idly chatting and she couldn’t hear them —, she heard the quiet footsteps she had come to identify as Irelia’s.

“Alright, people,” The Captain of the Guard said, referring to both rookies and captains, “Pretend I’m not here.” She motioned at them all to keep training, a very subtle smirk on her face. “Go about your day, come on.”

Sao frowned at her, rather confused about her friend’s actions. “Very well.” She said anyway, shrugging her shoulders a bit. “Soldiers! Over there you’ll notice there are pieces of armor for each of you,” She pointed at a place to their left, where different kinds of plates were piled up, right next to a different kind of pile, made of swords, axes, knives and then some. “Armor yourself and grab your weapon of choice. Today we’ll take training one step further.”

Riven remained immobile right next to her, watching with unfocused eyes as the soldiers moved.

She snapped out of her trance when she noticed Orlon didn’t grab any weapon, unlike the rest, who weaponized themselves to the teeth.

She raised a brow in silent question, but said nothing about it.

_ Bringing fists to a knife fight? Bold. Reckless. _

She noticed Zeylos had picked up an enormous, double edged, two-handed battleaxe.

She scowled.

_ Idiot. _

She didn’t like battleaxes.

She liked them even less when they were held by big, brute men.

It made it easier for her mind to wander.

She felt a set of cold eyes on her and she didn’t have to turn her head to see who their owner was. “You should do the same as them.” She heard Irelia command.

_ Command.  _ Because the  _ should  _ was actually a  _ must,  _ veiled as a friendly advice.

But they were not friends. At least, not yet.

They were mere allies.

Riven gulped.

“Yes, Captain.” Sao replied, and apparently Irelia had meant they  _ all  _ should do the same.

Seeing Sao and Ban move towards the piles of steel spurred Riven into action and she moved along with them, but her mind was definitely somewhere else, still pondering  _ what ifs. _

_ What if fighting her takes me back to that night. _

_ What if fighting her brings the ghosts back. _

_ What if it wakes the voices up again. _

Because she still heard them, sometimes, but they were nothing but echos, impressions of her imagination, like when you think you’ve heard someone call your name.

It was way worse before, with those demons materializing in front of her and taking her away, back in time.

One look at the armor on the ground and she could tell it was too stiff, too uncomfortable for someone as mobile as her, who was constantly jumping around and needing complete control of her own body and limbs.

She grabbed arm guards for her forearms and greaves for her legs, before placing a shoulder plate on her left shoulder and gauntlets on her hands, armoring herself in the same fashion as she had followed before.

She was so focused on not being focused on Irelia, she completely missed the way those cold blue eyes followed her around, analyzing her every action.

She got to the pile of weapons and looked for swords.

She felt rather uncomfortable on her own skin as she realized there were broadswords scattered around, too.

She knew only one person who’s preferred weapon was a broadsword.

Herself.

And they had never trained with broadswords before, so either Ban or Sao wielded them too, or they were there only for her to use.

She considered grabbing a normal one and calling it a day.

She would do that.

She moved towards the smaller ones, before Sao called her name, making her turn to look at the already armored woman.

Her eyes landing on the broadsword she was holding out for her to grab.

“You used to wield one like this one, if I remember correctly.”

Riven wanted to say  _ No, not at all, not like this one. _

Because hers was nothing like that steel, simple-looking one.

Still, that was not what Sao had meant.

She felt the impulse to deny ever wielding a broadsword, telling her that she actually wielded smaller blades, but she knew she wouldn’t be fooling anyone.

She knew Sao knew better.

So she offered the blonde a small smirk, “Thanks,” she replied, before grabbing the steel blade and weighing it on her hands.

_ Comfortably heavy. _

_ Uncomfortably reminiscent. _

“Very well, soldiers!” Ban roared, and Riven noticed he had a humongous warhammer hanging idly from one of his hands, a feat which spoke to his strength, “Get in pairs and start swinging at each other,  _ slowly.”  _ There was the tint of a warning on the way his voice got lower on his last word, “You could actually harm each other, now.”

“No weapons, Orlon?” Sao added after her brother’s words, a smallsword strapped to her left side and a one-handed war axe on her right; light weapons for swift moving, Riven guessed.

The boy shook his head.

“Why not?”

Orlon’s head turned in Irelia’s direction. “Captain Sao commanded us to grab our  _ weapon of choice,  _ my Captain.” He started explaining. “I don’t really feel comfortable with any of those weapons.”

Irelia nodded her head once. “Okay, what do you feel comfortable with?”

He shrugged, “If I could wield magic, then I’d feel comfortable with that. If not—”

“Wield your magic, then.”

His eyebrows rose. “Are you sure, Captain—”

“If any of you in here have any sort of magic in you, feel free to use it to your advantage.” Irelia replied in a loud voice, cutting him off. “These abilities are a part of you and you should  _ exploit  _ them, not  _ hide  _ them.”

Blue eyes scanned the crowd of soldiers, watching as some of them seemed to relax a bit, while others grew a bit more nervous.

The unexpected rule change had given them all a certain kind of whiplash with how it changed everything, it seemed.

Irelia found it amusing.

As they got in the same pairs they had been in before their training break, Riven noticed how a few of the soldiers got rid of certain pieces of armor, even a weapon if they had more than one.

Only Orlon remained unarmed, though.

She raised both of her eyebrows at such information.

_ Bold move, indeed. _

And it had been a bold move, true, but it had also been the right one.

It quickly became evident just how much advantage he could get out of using his own resources.

Training was following the same setup as before: after a certain period of time, Ban would order the soldiers to switch partners and keep fighting with their new opponent, a simple yet effective method to train against different body types and fighting techniques.

But after they switched opponents three times, Irelia spoke up. “Alright, that’s enough.” She said out loud in her leader’s voice, making everyone suddenly stop, watching her as she made her way to the middle of the training clearing. “I want you all to stand in a circle around me.”

Once they did her bidding, she nodded her head once. “Orlon,” She said, turning and looking at the boy, knowing exactly where he was. “Come here.”

Orlon gulped, suddenly nervous due to being personally addressed by Irelia herself, but obeyed nonetheless, jogging his way towards her.

Irelia watched him, “Sanoh,” She called, turning and letting her eyes land on the girl. “Here.” She said, with one motion of her head.

Sanoh quickly made her way towards them.

“We’ll train in a competition fashion,” Irelia explained. “Those inside the circle will fight until one loses, either due to tapping out, losing consciousness or a would-be-fatal blow being dealt. The winner stays in, the loser gets out and is replaced by a new contestant. We will repeat this process until all warriors in the circle have fought at least once.” Her eyes moved from the Demacian boy to the Ionian girl. “Orlon, Sanoh, you two go first. Remember; there’s no shame in surrendering, not even in losing. We’re here to learn and there’s much more to be learned from mistakes than from flawlessness.” Her eyes grew cold as she added, “What  _ is  _ shameful, though, is forgetting this is  _ training  _ and purposefully trying to really hurt a training partner.”

They all knew it was directed to Zeylos.

Nobody dared address it, though.

Irelia slowly walked her way to the circle of people. “Are you two ready?” She called as she made her way towards the Captains.

Coming to stand next to Riven.

Orlon and Sanoh nodded their heads.

Irelia mimicked the movement. “ _ Fight!” _

Riven did her best to focus on the fight and not on the woman to her left.

Sao, on her right, eyed Irelia. “Making them train like we do, huh?”

The ghost of a smile lingered on Irelia’s lips. “Let’s see if your rookies like how we actually do it instead of your tame ways.”

“Shut up,  _ tame ways,”  _ Sao replied, mocking the woman while she made a face.

Irelia huffed a laugh.

Riven’s eyes wouldn’t move from Sanoh as she quickly covered herself with her shield, Orlon’s fireballs giving her a rough time, the Noxian doing her best to let the images in front of her drown out Sao and Irelia’s banter.

It was all in vain, she quickly realized. Both things: her attempts to ignore the Captain of the Guard, for she couldn’t stop replaying that small chuckle in her head, and Sanoh’s attempts to defeat Orlon, for he had just set her on fire, quickly making water come out of his hands, successfully putting the inferno out before any real damage could be done.

“ _ Time!”  _ Irelia roared, “Orlon wins. Sanoh, you’re out. Next...”

And warrior after warrior, Riven watched as Orlon defeated them.

Irelia called Zeylos’ name at some point and Riven couldn’t help but flinch.

The blue haired woman noticed it.

“Relax,” She whispered, her mouth suddenly near Riven’s ear as she leaned into her, “He must have learned the lesson by now. If not, I’ll teach it to him  _ personally.” _

The low voice of the Ionian leader did nothing to ease her soul, doing quite the opposite and setting all of her nerve-endings on fire instead.

Finding herself mute, Riven decided to reply to the unexpected kindness with a simple nod of her head.

She found herself surprised at how Zeylos moved towards Orlon and  _ bowed.  _

Orlon seemed to be in shock, too, for it took him a few moments to bow back.

“ _ Fight!” _

Zeylos’ hands were both on his weapon as he circled Orlon, waiting for the mage to attack first.

Orlon threw a fireball at him.

Zeylos dodged with a forwards roll and lunged.

Riven’s eyebrows rose as she saw Orlon receive a headbutt, the Demacian boy being forced to move backwards so as to avoid the battleaxe that swung for him.

“Did you see that?” Sao questioned as they watched them battle.

Riven nodded her head. “He dodged by going forwards instead of sideways,” She reasoned out loud, “It’s a dangerous move, for there’s less chance of missing an attack against an enemy who advances towards you rather than to your sides, but a clever one. Definitely a sound decision against Orlon.”

“He’s the first warrior to reach Orlon’s close quarters.”

“He knows Orlon’s magical attacks aren’t fast enough and that there’s a window of time between one attack and the next one.” Riven mused, “He used that window to approach him.”

Sao was smirking at the fight in front of her. “He’s been paying attention.”

Riven nodded her head. “That he has.”

The Demacian boy evaded a slashing motion and took advantage of Zeylos’ rather slow movements to place his hands on the Ionian brute’s.

Before Zeylos could shake him off, he heard the crack of thunder and screamed in pain as Orlon electrocuted him, forcing him to release his weapon, letting it land on the ground with a quiet thud.

To her right, Riven could hear Ban hissing, imagining the pain Zeylos was feeling.

But before Orlon could land a hook on him, the brute dodged by moving his head out of the way, before coming back full force and headbutting the Demacian boy again.

The fight continued, both men using only their fists and legs to get the other.

They moved away from the Ionian’s axe as they did, the man knowing Orlon would defeat him if he gave him room to attack first, delivering attack after attack instead, advancing on him slowly.

Orlon managed to duck before a violent kick got him on the side of the head and the momentum made Zeylos end up with his back against the Demacian.

He pushed both of his palms against the bigger man’s back and sent him flying with a gust of wind.

As he landed, Orlon summoned fire again.

He threw his fireball with all of his strength and watched as Zeylos, still on the ground, grabbed his battleaxe, quickly got to his feet and, using the flat surface of his axe’s steel,  _ batted  _ the fireball, successfully redirecting it towards him.

Orlon quickly ducked, letting the fireball continue on it’s path.

And landing on a zoned out Riven.

The battle seemed to stop for a second as they all watched the Noxian throw herself to the ground and roll around, trying to put it out.

She would have succeeded if she had been given at least a few more seconds, but Orlon had better plans as he produced water again, leaving her soaking wet from head to toe.

As she stood up, she regarded both men with a scowl on her face.

Orlon shrugged his shoulders sheepishly.

Zeylos did his best to hide his amusement: he had not planned to do that but  _ oh  _ if it wasn’t satisfactory to watch.

“Everything’s fine,” Irelia quickly made their attention snap to her. “ _ Continue _ !”

And so both men did.

Orlon refused to throw another fireball after what Zeylos had done and proven possible.

He had an idea.

He summoned a fireball on his right hand and Zeylos got ready to swing at it again.

He pretended to throw it and, as Zeylos focused on it and locked himself in place so as to swing at full force, Orlon hit him with waves of water, created with his left hand.

As Zeylos released his axe so as to cover his face from the suffocating amount of water, Orlon ran forwards, still trying to drown his opponent.

And once he got close to him, he stopped throwing water at him, but placed his hands dangerously close to the man and allowed thunder to crack around him, electric currents running up and down his arms.

“ _ Time!”  _ Irelia roared, knowing Orlon’s next move to be fatal and aware that the boy had stopped himself due to her little tournament’s rules. “Orlon wins. Zeylos, you’re out.”

The brute man looked at her confused for a second, but such confusion was gone as he saw the lightning on the Demacian boy’s hands.

Locking his jaw, he nodded once, before bowing to Orlon, then to Irelia, and making his way to the circle.

“Zeylos.”

He turned to look at Irelia, who nodded her head once.

“You fought well. Smart.”

He nodded his head in acknowledgement, “Thank you, Captain.”

“Next contender, someone who will dethrone Orlon.” Irelia started, a smirk drawing itself on her lips as she said, “Sao, are you up to the task?”

Sao smirked right back as her eyes met blue ones, “I had a feeling you would call my name.”

She entered the circle, her eyes on Orlon, who smiled and mumbled “I’ll go easy on you,” Teasing his superior.

Sao’s eyes hardened at his taunt, but she opted for replying with her silence as she unsheathed her two weapons.

“ _ Fight!” _

And Sao automatically started moving.

As Orlon created a fireball in one hand, Sao took a step forwards and, Riven noticed curiously, inhaled deeply, her chest expanding as she kept the air in.

And as she closed her eyes, she was met with a cascade of water.

She had known the boy would attempt to do the same as before.

“Have you guessed what Sao’s ability is?” Riven heard Irelia let out in a hushed voice, an octave lower than usual, her voice laced with a laidback nature that was nonexistent between them yet.

Riven forced herself to answer, yet allowed herself not to look at her. “I didn’t know she had an ability.”

She sensed Irelia was nodding her head. “She has one. Subtle enough that’s almost impossible to perceive, but useful enough that will save you in life and death situations.”

So Riven gave in, joined Irelia’s game, focused hard and tried to guess.

The soaked warrior still had her eyes closed, despite the water being gone, lightning coming out of Orlon’s fingers and always narrowly missing Sao.

For a second, Riven questioned how come Irelia was not stopping the fight, considering one electric charge would be enough to kill Sao, who was recklessly swaying around, almost as if dancing her way out of Orlon’s thunder strikes.

Riven noticed how Orlon stopped attacking, his hands low, as if he were charging an uppercut.

She saw Sao bend her legs a bit, as if gathering force.

At the same time Sao impulsed herself from the ground on a jump, Riven noticed Orlon raised both of his hands, a gust of wind pushing Sao even higher, making the boy curse under his breath.

“She knew his next move,” Riven observed out loud. She heard Irelia hum in confirmation. “She can sense his actions?” She questioned, not fully understanding the nature of the blonde’s ability.

“She has enhanced instincts.” Irelia explained. “She’s incredibly more perceptive than your average person. It’s almost like she can predict the near future.”

Riven’s brows rose. “I see.”

“She won’t understand why she’s inclined to do something, follow a path or decline to do so, but she always knows which the right choice is.”

And she hadn’t meant to mumble a quiet, “Lucky.” But she had absentmindedly done so.

She hadn’t expected Irelia to hear her, let alone to reply with a small, “I know.”

She watched as Sao made her way down to the ground once more, her sword ready to come down on Orlon’s head.

The boy pushed her aside with another gust of wind.

As Sao stood up, she remained immobile, smiling at him.

Orlon frowned. Where was her—

“ _ Time!”  _ Irelia roared.

Orlon looked at her. “What—”

He saw one of her blades rush towards him—

He closed his eyes and hear the familiar clash of steel against steel, before he heard something hit the ground.

He opened his eyes and saw Sao’s axe, embedded on the land.

“What…” He frowned at it, before looking up.

Irelia’s blade floated idly in the air above his head.

“If she hadn’t intervened,” Sao started, walking towards her axe and picking it from the ground, before giving an extra step his way and patting his shoulder. “You would be dead by now.”

“Sao wins. Orlon, you’re finally out.”

Despite the defeat, Orlon smiled and bowed, before joining those standing around the circle.

“Now, Sao’s opponent.” Irelia said out loud, before letting her eyes move to her right, to the woman who seemed desperate to ignore her. “Riven, you’re in.”

Without looking at her, Riven nodded her head once and walked into the makeshift arena.

“ _ Fight!” _

Riven got ready, both hands on the sword’s handle as she thought for a second, only one question ringing around in her head.

_ How do you defeat someone who can predict your every move? _

Sure, she had done so before, but now that she was aware of the blonde’s ability, she couldn’t ignore it.

She couldn’t fall into her patterns without the hesitation of believing she was being predictable.

She decided to wait for Sao to make the first move.

As seconds ticked by and it became evident she wouldn’t move from her spot, Sao finally broke the standstill.

She lunged forwards towards Riven, who easily sidestepped her  _ and  _ dodged the axe that was just a hair’s breadth behind the blonde, as if already waiting for the Noxian to move towards that spot.

She twirled so as to build momentum and brought the broadsword towards Sao, but the woman ducked right on time, sweeping Riven’s feet with her leg.

The Noxian fell on her back, but kicked her legs up so as to do a backwards roll, already on her feet again, quickly resuming the fight.

They kept feinting and dodging, evading and avoiding, a game of moves and countermoves as Sao kept pushing forwards and Riven kept limiting herself to only replying to her aggressions.

She saw an opportunity as Sao moved backwards, away from her.

She ran towards her and twirled to her left, charging an attack that would impact on Sao’s left side.

The blonde was ready to meet her blade.

But at the very last second, using all of her strength, Riven stopped her momentum, making it spring towards her right, as if having bounced from one direction to the other.

She moved too fast for Sao to readjust herself.

She stopped her blade as she heard Irelia roar, “ _ Time!” _

She was only a few inches away from her neck.

“Riven wins.”

Riven was breathing heavily. “I don’t understand.”

Sao chuckled, “What is it that you don’t understand? That I’ve lost? Because me neither—”

“How come you couldn’t predict I would do that?”

Sao sheathed her weapons, “Because I can’t see the future.” She explained, simply. “I  _ feel  _ what you will most definitely do, but I can only sense so much at the same time.” She shrugged, “I can’t keep up with every single move the faster, swiffer opponents plan to do. It works much better with slower, heavier ones.”

“Ban, you’re up.” Irelia’s voice brought them back to reality, which prompted Sao to try and make her way back out of the circle, but Irelia quickly raised a hand in a halting gesture. “No, Sao. You stay in, too.”

Riven frowned. “Do I leave, then?” She asked, even if it didn’t make sense, for she had won.

“No. You will now fight both Sao and Ban at the same time.”

Ban chuckled as he made his way into the circle. “Not really fair, isn’t it?”

Irelia raised a brow. “When is anything fair?”

Ban nodded, “You’ve got a point.”

“And what is  _ your  _ ability, if you have one?” Riven questioned, suddenly serious.

“You will have to find out on your own,” Irelia replied for him, “ _ Fight!” _

And as soon as she said that, Ban brought his warhammer back over his head and threw it at her.

Riven quickly ducked and dodged the weapon, but as she got up from the ground, she came face to face with Sao, who headbutted her, successfully making her take a few staggering steps backwards.

She had a quick interchange of rapid attacks with Sao, never losing Ban from sight as he stood to her right, before she saw the girl skip away from her.

She felt inclined to follow, but at the same time could sense the action as strange, so Riven stood her ground, her eyes on Sao, broadsword held in front of her.

She sensed movement to her left—

Riven roared in pain as Ban’s warhammer hit both of her forearms, her grip on her sword weakening, the steel blade falling to the ground as she released it.

“What the—”

She watched as Ban caught the warhammer with one hand, the weapon having flown its’ way right back to his hand, as if a magnet had pulled it in.

He could call his weapon back to him.

Riven picked up her blade and lunged for him.

She missed how Sao had thrown her sword on her way, making her fall to the ground.

Riven used the momentum to roll forwards—

She saw Ban get ready to throw again—

She quickly rolled once more, this time flattening her back against the ground, watching as the hammer flew above her head.

She swept the ground with her legs and managed to make Ban fall.

She couldn’t finish getting up from the ground, though, for Sao held her from behind on a firm choke.

Riven grabbed her sword with one hand and threw it high in the air, above the fallen Ban.

She headbutted Sao once before crouching and bringing her head forwards, throwing the blonde above her head and onto the ground, releasing herself from the choke.

She heard the whistling sound of Ban’s warhammer flying in the air once more and quickly dropped to the ground, watching it fly back towards Ban’s hand, the warrior gripping it strongly and smashing Riven’s blade before it could land on him.

Breaking it.

Riven quickly grabbed Sao on a choke, much like the blonde had done before.

She watched as Ban got ready to throw his weapon once more, before stopping at the sight.

Instead of aiming at Riven, the blond man threw it high in the air, as if he wanted the hammer to land behind the Noxian.

Riven knew he’d call it back to him once it was positioned right behind her, thus hitting her and not Sao.

So she quickly turned and threw Sao towards the hammer’s landing area.

She hadn’t considered the hammer was still too high in the air.

Ban called it back to his hand.

Riven crouched so as to avoid being hit and when she stood straight once more, she saw Ban catch his hammer and get ready to strike, so she pivoted on her left foot, right leg ready to kick him on the head—

“ _ Time!” _

The three of them froze.

“Sao and Ban win.”

Riven frowned.

She saw Ban right in front of her, blow loaded up as he had wound up his arms and was ready to bring them forwards with all of his strength, but no deadly-blow anywhere near her to be considered a loss.

She brought her foot back to the ground and turned—

She froze when she saw the tip of Sao’s sword, only an inch away from her neck.

She looked at Irelia out of the corner of her eye.

The blue eyed woman was smirking.

“Can any of you tell me which is the lesson I’m trying to teach you with this little tournament of mine?” Irelia questioned as she slowly walked around inside the circle, her eyes going from soldier to soldier as Sao and Ban sheathed their weapons, Riven grabbing the pieces of her own.

_ Broken blades seems to be my theme. _

Irelia grinned as she heard someone reply  _ The value of teamwork?  _ In a rather inquisitive tone, as if unsure of their answer. “Well, you could learn a thing about teamwork here, but no.” She replied. “The lesson is actually more complex than that.”

“To be honest with you all, I’ve been watching you train.” Irelia confessed, her hands clasped behind her back. “I’ve seen you all test yourselves, your limits, your abilities, only to always end up being defeated by none other,” She eyed Riven, “But our newly assigned Captain.” She looked at those surrounding them once more, “Does any of you know why such a thing keeps happening?”

She was met with silence.

“You probably think she’s just better than you at this; fighting.” She stopped walking, still wearing a bored expression as she allowed her gaze to lock on Riven while she spoke, “Truth be told, she’s not better than any of you. Still, she keeps defeating you.” She raised her brows, but still looked as calm as ever, “That’s because you try to  _ imitate her  _ and  _ no one  _ can fight like Riven does.”

Riven caught the intensity in those cold eyes as Irelia added, “Nobody can best Riven at her own fighting style.” She lolled her head to a side, “No one can learn it, copy it, best it,” She smirked, “Teach it. Only Riven can for its’ her own.” Irelia said, before turning around and quickly breaking the stare down with the Noxian woman. “This is due to her style, her technique, having been created  _ by her  _ to suit  _ her needs,  _ her strength  _ and  _ weaknesses.” She was frowning in concentration as she spoke. “Her style works  _ only  _ with her because it’s been molded to fit  _ her  _ and  _ her alone. _

She resumed her slow walking around, “That’s why I encourage you all  _ not  _ to fall into that trap:  _ don’t  _ imitate her, build your own fighting style instead. Use all of your tools, abilities and weapons, find what you’re more comfortable with, identify weak points and advantages you may have over the rest, combine all of this things, use them and exploit them to find a technique that best suits you and use  _ that  _ against your opponent, instead of simply repeating what they do against you.”

She stopped walking again, her eyes on Orlon. “Orlon was able to defeat most of you because he’s found something none of you are familiar with and he’s forced you to fight by his rules; trying to avoid his attacks instead of making him try to avoid yours.” Irelia smirked, approval evident on her expression, “He found what works for him and used it against you all, but he couldn’t do that with Sao,” She said, turning to look at her friend, “Who forced him to follow  _ her  _ rules instead and ended up defeating him.”

She looked at Riven once more. “Riven could blend into Sao’s style easily for they’re rather similar, but the thing Riven didn’t know about her opponent is that Captain Sao is not a  _ lone-wolf  _ kind of warrior like her, but a  _ teamplayer  _ instead.” She smirked as she circled the Noxian and the two Captains who flanked her, “Placed with her brother both in blood and arms, fighting the way she usually does, Sao was able to pull Riven into her own game, instead of letting her bend them to her will.”

She scanned the crowd of soldiers around them. “The lesson of today is to create your own fighting style. Let it be solid enough that you can fall back on it whenever you need to, but allow enough flexibility into it that, need be that you adapt to someone else’s, you can allow yourselves to be creative and blend your style into your opponent’s. It’s not a bad thing if your style  _ is,  _ indeed, similar to Riven’s, but what I’m trying to let you all know here is that there’s no need for you to copy it. What works for others might not work for you. That being said, I’m proud of the progress all of you have done.”

And she had been addressing  _ all of them. _

Not that they could tell, though.

Sao approached Irelia, “Is training over, then?” She asked, seeing how the lesson seemed to be over and the class dismissed.

“No,” Irelia replied with a shake of her head, “Not yet. There’s still one more fight I’d like to have happening today.”

“Oh, okay.” Sao said, absentmindedly. “Who?”

And Riven felt her heart stop in anticipation before she heard her say,

“Riven and I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another of those chapters where I get too excited about updating and I take advantage of the fact that it's long enough that I can get away with splitting it in two. Enjoy!


	11. Different Yet The Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Irelia couldn't help but feel everything was the same as it had been, but awfully different at the same time: Their fighting, their bickering, even Riven herself.

_Riven and I._

_Riven and I._

_Riven and I._

It echoed inside her skull, getting louder and louder before she managed to snap out of it in one quick turn of her body, as she faced Irelia, who was still standing by Sao.

Blue eyes watched her as she scanned the Captain of the Guard, her red ones getting stuck on those blades that she had temporarily strapped to her back, their tips barely visible to her sides. "Are you going to use those?" She asked her, a nod in the flying steel's direction.

Irelia nodded. "These are my  _weapons of choice_."

She twirled the broken blade on her hand, making Irelia's eyes dart towards it, before she herself gave it a quick inspection, huffing a chuckle at it.

She heard the blue haired Captain say, "With the sword broken like that, now you're far closer to what you  _actually_ wield, aren't you?"

Riven quickly looked at her again, analyzing that apparently-ever-neutral expression of hers, but she knew better, for she knew it's never actually neutral and there are always hints to her mood: the ghost of a smirk on her lips, mirth making her eyes shine brighter, like ice under the glare of the Sun.

Was she trying to be humorous in a friendly way or was she trying to taunt her?

Whatever she had meant, Riven felt it like a slap on the face.

Those kinds of topics were still too difficult, too sensitive for either of them to touch and Irelia dared do it like  _that._

Like an insult.

_Fucking bitch._

"Actually, no." Riven replied, a smirk of her own on her lips. "It's not even close to what I wield." And just like that, she discarded the broken sword by letting it fall to the ground.

"Oh, no?" Irelia asked, amusement evident on her voice. "How come?"

Riven pointed at the sword she had dropped, "My sword's broken far closer to the hilt than this one." She shrugged her shoulders, "It makes a very big difference, specially on the weight, you know?"

"Oh, I see," Irelia continued using that dissonant tone, "What are we ever going to do about it?"

She was going to  _force_ her to say it.

Riven tried not to grit her teeth.

"If you're going to use  _those,"_ Riven casted a glance on Irelia's blades direction. "I believe it's only fair for me to use  _my_ sword, not one of these  _mundane_ ones."

Irelia looked at her with a concerned expression, her head lolling to a side and her arms crossed in front of her, "You want to wield that old thing?"

"I could ask you the same."

Irelia's face contorted once more, this time going back to that always-focused demeanor of hers as she took a few steps towards Riven, until they were in the same space.

"Very well,  _Riven."_ She said, letting her name out with a curious bite on the way she said her name, icy stare scanning the Noxian's face. "Go fetch your sword, but be quick." And despite the tone she used, she  _smiled, "_ I don't like to be kept waiting."

And if it weren't for how angry she was at the Ionian, Riven's bravado would have faltered.

After all, she had kept Irelia waiting for a whole year.

Instead of thinking about such things, though, Riven allowed herself to glare at Irelia for one second longer before making her way towards her room.

 _Stomping_ her way to her room.

She ignored whatever those behind her were saying.

She ignored the way she could hear her own breathing, heavy with something. The rush of her blood on her ears, the pounding of her heart, the adrenaline that ran in her veins.

Riven reached her room in no time and opened the chest that laid by the bed's end.

She felt as if her Targonian armor and her Noxian blade looked right back at her.

Quickly, she grabbed her blade and closed the chest once more.

And making her way back, as she gripped her blade with more force than necessary, she felt that anger amplify itself, rapidly taking control of her nervous system.

Rageful. Beyond it, like a bomb waiting to explode, once more. Like a river, waiting for the walls to crumble and for the flood to happen. Like a hurricane, an earthquake, an active volcano.

She hoped Irelia felt like a butterfly, whose wings would cause the tornado on the other side of the World.

She really hoped it, for she was Irelia's other side of the World.

Her opposite.

So if Irelia was the butterfly, she would be the tornado.

Let her stupid taunting words be the flapping wings that unleash her fury.

_Let her meet what she has helped set free._

Riven nodded her head, agreeing with the voice in her head.

_Let her taste what she has made._

The voices sounded louder and louder, riling her up and preparing her for war.

Riven was  _ready._

* * *

"Took you long enough." Irelia commented as she saw Riven reappear, a bored expression on her face, one she fought to keep in place as the Noxian got close enough and she finally took her in.

And she had to fight to keep it in place because it didn't feel right: watching Riven approach, then the eerie feeling that suddenly placed a lump in her throat, made her heart heavy, brought her very  _soul_ down...

This sensation of  _wrongness_  carried Riven and was carried by her, she realized. Accompanied, as if they walked hand in hand.

As if they were in the same body.

Absolutely  _everything_ about Riven was wrong.

As wrong as it had always been.

As wrong as it  _hadn't_ been the last few months, when she had watched her train, expecting to see it but always missing it.

Until  _now._

It was such an uncanny feeling, Irelia decided: Her eyes remained on Riven's figure as she studied her, trying to pinpoint exactly what was so wrong, so different to what had been a few minutes ago, yet unable to blame it on one specific thing.

Her eyes seemed angrier, her figure a hunched forwards, the grip on her broken sword so unnecessarily strong but, if she had it asked to her what was wrong with Riven, her answer would be  _nothing._

It was like seeing a landscape, then seeing it again but having taken one step to the side;; slightly off frame, but nothing of essence has been changed.

Yet the essence was entirely different.

Entirely wrong.

"Took me long, but I'm here now," Riven replied and  _Gods,_ even her  _voice_ sounded different yet the same.

Rougher, yet as rough as it had always been.

_Blame it on the accent._

Riven stood right in front of Irelia and the Ionian couldn't help but narrow her eyes at the sight of  _green_ once more, not red.

"Shall we begin?" The Noxian asked her, a vile smile on her lips.

Was she the only one that could notice this extreme-yet-subtle change on her demeanor?

Was she the only one who saw the way her eyes would go green every time her aura shifted this way?

Green like her—

"Irelia?"

The Captain of the Guard shook her head a bit, looking at Sao, "Yes?"

There was the cautious glint of concern in her eye. "Are you two really going to do this?"

And she wondered whether Sao  _knew,_ whether she could feel it too.

The air getting denser with every second that passed. A certain electricity in the sterile atmosphere that had little to do with Orlon's elemental abilities.

The way the soil underneath their feet seemed to die, even if it was still green.

_Green._

"Yeah," She said, nodding her head once.

She didn't know why, but she felt like she needed it.

It just felt necessary, to face Riven and let her face her.

She reasoned that maybe the reasons why would surface in the aftermath of their fight.

_Or maybe it will all be for nothing._

She raised a brow.

_At least I'll get to let some of it out on her._

"Let's go," She said, eyeing Riven, quietly guiding her to the center of the circle.

She looked around for a second, before calmly announcing, "We're going to need our small  _arena_ to be a bit bigger." Irelia motioned with her hands for everyone to step back. "Make room."

As they obeyed, she caught sight of Sao, who was still frowning at her.

Irelia nodded her head once at her.

Sao mirrored the gesture. "Since Captain Irelia will be fighting this round, I will play her role for now." She was focused on them, "Captains, are you ready?"

As Irelia stood on guard, she brought one hand to her lips and her blades appeared to gain life, releasing themselves from their places on her back and finding their respective positions, flanking her. "I am."

Riven merely nodded her head, already on guard.

So Sao finally commanded, " _Fight!"_

And they didn't waste a second.

Riven started by dashing towards her, already faster than before, the movement violent in itself.

Irelia remained on her spot, but her body moved.

Each of her movements flowing and seamlessly blending onto the next, she quickly made those blades dash on Riven's direction.

Riven stopped advancing to dodge the projectile-like blades.

In the fraction of a second she focused on something else than Irelia, the Captain of the Guard moved.

Quickly turning to face her, Riven caught sight of Irelia once more before she shot one of those blades in her direction.

Riven focused on the blade, inclined her body to her right and successfully dodged the single projectile. She moved her gaze to the Ionian and got ready to throw herself at Irelia—

She barely had time to raise her sword and deflect the steel that came for her life as she came face to face with Irelia, dashing towards her, weapons at the ready.

Steel after steel, Riven could only focus on meeting each of Irelia's levitating blades with her broken sword, the Ionian leaving her no room to counter her attacks, respond with one of her own.

She focused on the blue haired woman, hidden behind her deadly servants and stopped parrying her attacks, a temporary shield forming around her body as she quickly moved towards her.

She saw Irelia's brows raise as she made a slashing motion, aiming for her neck.

Irelia evaded, inclining her body backwards, but Riven's attacks kept coming as the Noxian used the impulse of her missed hit to twirl and try to land another slash. As she missed, she stopped her movement and pivoted in the opposite direction, ricocheting off her previous movement, just as she had done when fighting Sao.

Irelia saw it coming and moved away right on time—

But then Riven was jumping, rolling forwards in the air, charging yet another attack—

She narrowly missed Irelia, but the impact on the ground was enough to make her fall on one knee.

Seeing her opportunity, Riven dashed towards her one more time—

She saw Irelia bring one of her blades to her position, before quickly rolling to a side, so she turned on her feet—

The blade that had missed her head and the one Irelia had just placed on the ground suddenly met on the middle, right where she was.

A deafening sound, steel-on-steel, made her stop and groan in pain, the Noxian unaware of the cuts on the front and the back of her thighs.

Irelia called her blades back towards her and, directing them with her hands, swinging them against the air, commanded them to slash at the stunned Noxian.

Blade after blade, as if forming a deadly queue, their sharp edges met Riven's skin, all of them cutting their way on her arms and chest, one right after the other, as if sawing her flesh always following Irelia's hand's motion.

When Riven managed to gather control once more, she brought her blade up and unleashed her energy on a shockwave around her, successfully returning the favor to Irelia and making her stagger, her attacks stopping.

So Riven dashed forwards and slashed once more.

Irelia moved before real damage could be done, but the end of her blade left a gashing wound on her cheek, right above her jaw, dangerously close to her neck.

It was clear Riven wasn't playing.

Irelia called upon her blades.

Riven tried to attack her once more, but Irelia's steel surrounded her in a flurry, a barrier protecting her from her opponent, a blade almost cutting her nose off as she had tried to approach face-first.

Through the small spaces between the blades, as they spinned around her enemy, Riven could get glimpses of Irelia.

The Ionian stared right back at her.

Riven roared as she tried to conjure up her shield, ready to dash through the steel hurricane and into its' eye.

Sensing her intentions, Irelia brought her hands together in front of her, her blades obeying her movements and breaking their circle, only to meet at the front, like a scorpion's tail attempting to sting.

Riven's eyes widened at the unexpected attack.

She tried to move backwards, tried to stop her advance, knowing her shield wouldn't be strong enough to deflect the attack entirely, but she was moving forwards  _too_ fast, being already  _too_ ahead,  _too_ close.

It was too late.

Her shield exploded once Irelia's blades made contact with it.

The shockwave pushed Irelia backwards, the woman keeping her stance strong enough so as to still remain on her feet, arms in front of her face in order to cover her from anything that might be coming her way.

When she looked again, Riven was down on the ground, on her side, facing away from her.

Unmoving.

There were murmurs around them.

" _Quiet!"_ Irelia roared, clenching her teeth, her blades falling in line behind her as she called them back to her with the flick of her wrist. "Stand back." She growled, not wanting any of them to get involved.

She slowly approached Riven, her eyes on Riven's back, looking for a sign that she was okay.

She didn't see her move, not even an inch.

She didn't see it fill up with air, the rise and fall that would indicate that she was breathing.

She couldn't think, couldn't breathe herself as she reached Riven and kneeled behind her, her hands slowly coming to Riven's head so as to turn her and make her lay on her back—

She fell to the ground as an armored hand suddenly smacked her on the jaw, the blow strong enough that she felt her own legs going weak at it, her blades falling idly to the dirt too.

Riven was suddenly on top of her, then, her hands around her neck, fingers squeezing it as hard as she could, directing the pushing force upwards into Irelia's jaw, the Noxian trying to cut the air and blood flow to her head.

Riven was breathing heavy, her glaring eyes watching Irelia's suffocating face.

Still applying pressure with one hand, she raised her other and formed a fist.

The shift on her grip gave Irelia room to move _._

She quickly moved a hand and a blade that was close enough darted towards Riven's temple.

As Riven ducked and the pressure on Irelia's neck faltered, the Ionian quickly brought her head against Riven's, giving her enough room to bring her fist to the Noxian's cheek on a hook.

She managed to make Riven sway on top of her, her weight shifting to a side, giving Irelia the right amount of time to bridge her hips and make Riven fall to a side.

She moved towards Riven, hoping to get on top of her and reverse the previous situation—

Riven brought her knees to her chest and, as Irelia tried to straddle her, she kicked her back.

Irelia let herself follow the movement, rolling backwards, her hand landing on one of her blades as she did so.

Riven quickly got on her feet, her eyes on her blade—

Irelia grabbed the piece of steel as she finished rolling and landed on a crouched position, before getting up—

Riven quickly picked up her blade and got up, ready to swing—

She froze when she felt Irelia's blade against all of her neck.

Her broken sword was tightly pressed against Irelia's, too.

They were both breathing heavy.

Despite it all, Irelia smirked, "What a standstill, right?"

"Standstill?" Riven asked, before huffing a laugh, "If I wanted you dead, you would be bleeding out on the ground by now," She declared, emphasizing her words by pushing her blade just a fraction harder against the blue haired woman's neck.

The Ionian growled, "Do you really think so?" She questioned, her grip on her blade not faltering, even as it cut into her palm with the strength of her hold, the other end of it pushing against Riven's throat. "Do you really think you're alive because you're better? Pay attention, Riven, and don't make a fool of yourself."

Riven's eyes flickered from blue eyes to a bloody hand, before going to the free one that motioned for all of her other blades to surround her.

She suddenly felt how each and every one of Irelia's blades touched her body, a feathery, deadly kiss.

Faint enough that it didn't hurt, but strong enough to make their presence evident.

"If  _I_ wanted you dead,  _you'd_ be on the ground by now." Irelia corrected for her, each of her deadly blades pressed against Riven's body. "You're not better than anybody here."

"Between us, who do you think is  _faster_?" Riven questioned. "Tell me, do you think  _you'd_ be?"

"You'd die before you could kill me."

As if helping send those words into her brain, each blade Irelia controlled pushed against her skin, the stinging making Riven bare her teeth and her grip harden.

The Noxian replied by pressing harder, too.

"Do you want to test that out?"

Irelia's hand was a bloody mess, her grip insanely hard as her whole fist shook with the sheer intensity.

She would let her actions be a reply—

" _Time!"_

The strength they both were putting into their battle of wills died out at Sao's voice, both warriors letting their eyes move towards the blonde.

She looked painfully worried, "It's a tie." She said, though her eyes screamed  _Enough._

Neither warrior made a move, though.

Everyone quietly watched.

One of them would have to eventually give in, to either their survival instincts or a more pacific way out.

And finally, Irelia made the first move.

Fighting against her better judgement, she slowly shooed her blades away, before loosening her grip on the one on her hand, letting it join the others on the air as they made their way to her back, getting caught on their straps.

Giving Riven the guarantee that the fight was, indeed, over, she watched as the Noxian remained still.

It started to make her nervous.

Despite her desire to just shoot all of her blades right back out and straight at her, she dared try something else as she nodded her head once and murmured low enough for only Riven to hear, "It's okay."

And it was then when she caught a glimpse of the turmoil Riven was caught in.

She hadn't noticed the way she was scrunching up her nose, her lip twitching and her eyes squinting, as if she was having a very heated debate on her head. Pupils abandoning Irelia's frame from nanoseconds, searching for the right words to think right back at whatever the voice inside her head had shot at her.

Eventually someone in her head won, the right person, Irelia realized, as Riven slowly lowered her blade.

The Ionian Captain hoped it had been Riven.

She really hoped the kind spirit in her was  _herself_ and not someone else.

Despite the blood on her cheek and her limbs, Irelia nodded her head again and, with a smirk, offered Riven her hand, "Great battle."

But apparently she could only be gentle for so long before she had to be rude, for she just ground out, "I need some fresh air," Before turning on her heels and stomping her way out of there, the circle of soldiers opening to let her through.

Nevermind that they were already out, fresh air all around them.

Irelia sighed, letting her body finally feel her exhaustion.

"Okay, folks, you've seen enough for today," She listened as Sao said, "Training is over. You have the rest of the day for yourselves." And then she heard the Captain walk towards her before shoving her, "What the Hell was all of that about?!"

Irelia glared at her, "It was  _nothing—"_

"You were about to  _kill her!"_

"And she was about to  _kill me!"_ Irelia let out on a harsh whisper, just like Sao had done, "But nobody was killed."

And that made her raise her brows a bit.

They had gone all in at each other and yet  _nobody was killed._

It was something to think about.

_Progress, maybe?_

_Something like it, at least._

They both jumped when they heard Ban's voice, "Am I the only one who felt it? The weirdness in the air."

"No," Irelia said, a frown on her face, "I felt it, too."

Sao looked just as worried, "Do you think it was Riven?"

"I  _know_ it was Riven," Irelia replied. "I only felt it when she came back to fight." She sighed, "In any case, I'll go and find out now."

She turned to leave—

"Where do you think you're going!?" Sao asked her in a panicked whisper.

Irelia looked at her like she was asking something stupid. "After Riven."

"Irelia,  _don't."_

"Sao, it's fine—"

"It  _isn't."_ And the urgency, the finality of her tone made Irelia take her at least a bit more seriously. "She needs space and she's made it clear. I think we ought to give it to her."

"Sao—"

" _Irelia,_ I'm  _serious."_

She offered her a small smirk, "It's okay, I promise. I swear I'm beyond any hostilities—"

"It's not  _you_ that worries me," Sao said, an uncomfortable grimace on her face. "I just have a very bad  _feeling_ about it. Please, just let her be for a while. You can find her later."

And it was the word  _feeling_ that managed to convince her, so Irelia nodded her head, "Okay, you win."

Sao smiled at her, "Thank you." Then she allowed herself to think about Riven and a frown appeared on her face as she shook her head. "I hadn't felt that aura around her before." She sighed, "I don't even know what we're after, here."

"Well, we really can't know for sure." She raised a brow, then, "Only a mage can."

Sao frowned, "What do you mean?"

Her special  _power_ being one that so often passed as simple instincts, Sao wasn't that well versed on supernatural abilities and interacting with them.

"As people with supernatural abilities, we are able to sense others who also possess something of the sort." Irelia quickly explained, "But we can only  _sense_ it. Mages, on the other hand, can go as far as  _seeing_ it."

Sao nodded, "Okay, maybe Orlon can help then?"

Irelia frowned, "Where is he?"

They heard Ban clear his throat and point a single finger in the direction Riven had walked off in.

Orlon was going after her.

As both female Captains groaned, Ban sidestepped them, "It's okay, I got it." He said, getting his warhammer in position and—

"Ban,  _no—"_

—throwing it in Orlon's direction.

They watched as it passed the mage and, as Ban summoned it back, they witnessed how the hammer started to move towards Orlon.

The mage didn't move as the warhammer's hilt smacked him on the forehead, making him fall to the ground.

As Ban caught his weapon and sheathed it on his back, he smirked at the two women. "I've had enough target practice in my life to know how  _not_ to harm someone. Relax, you two."

Orlon got up from the ground with a red face and a confused glare on his eyes.

Still, he appeared to have gotten the message, for he had stopped moving towards where Riven had wandered off to and was actually walking towards them.

"I will take that little  _pat_ on the head as you three needing my assistance, my Captains?" He questioned with curiosity and mirth lightening up his tone.

"What do you know about seeing magic in others?" Irelia was quick to ask.

Orlon frowned and thought about the question for a minute, before finally replying. "It's a  _complicated_ part of magic." He explained, "From what I understand, seeing it requires a certain training, while sensing it comes easier." He raised a brow, clearly lost in his own mind, "It's the spiritual connections that we're able to naturally see…"

"What did you see?" Sao asked him.

And his eyes went from Sao's hazel ones to Irelia's blue, before his face turned a shade of red again.

It was almost as if he was asking Irelia whether he was allowed to open his mouth or not.

He looked away and it was then when Irelia noticed.

It made her a bit nervous, if she was honest.

She placed a hand on his shoulder and made him stare at her once more.

"Tell me everything you know."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it obvious how badly I want to advance this story?
> 
> Let me know your thoughts! Comments are always welcome <3


	12. Mingling Its' Own Nature With It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their fight, Irelia searches for Riven.

The leaves crunched underneath her feet as she walked around the forest, faint and distant sounds of nature around her as birds chirped and other animals replied. Even the wind was calm, a gentle breeze pushing back her hair and clearing her face.

It was starting to blow on the colder side, as the Sun finished setting and nighttime was due, the Moon in the sky and starts flanking her sides.

The words from her earlier conversation still buzzed around in her head as she tried to organize them and file them away, saving the information, valuable as gold, for whenever it was needed, for future planning, scheming and strategizing.

Yet a part of her didn’t want to file it away.

A part of her, the most instinctual side that followed her gut and no logic at all, demanded she kept it at the forefront of her mind, for it would prove vital in the moments to come.

_ Keep it in mind,  _ that voice in her head which was her only wiser kept whispering,  _ keep it in mind, keep it in mind, keep it in mind. _

So, with a frown, Irelia gave in to her inner voice’s desires and recalled in her head what Orlon had said before.

_ Your aura is blue, clear as the sky… _

_ Riven’s I had never seen before, but today I it was there and it was— _

Irelia remembered having cut Orlon off to say  _ green. _

He had looked at her with surprise in his eyes as he corrected,  _ black and green. _

_ Riven’s was black and green, a monstrously humongous thing that seemed to suck in the atmosphere… _

_ Powerful and brutal, brutally violent… _

His words repeated in her brain as she walked around, the only visual in her mind’s eye being Riven, her sword pressed against Irelia’s neck, Irelia’s own hand pressing a blade to the Noxian’s throat.

And the red eyes that were red no more.

They hadn’t been red for a while, ever since she left the training camp and came back with that vile weapon of hers.

Instead, they were—

_ Green, like the green runes on her broken sword. _

_ Green, like her monstrously humongous aura. _

_ Green, like they got when she was furious and losing her mind. _

_ Green, like the explosion during the Noxian Invasion— _

She heard herself take a sharp breath as she found what she had been looking for.

Behind a tree, she could see the shape of someone laying their back to it.

A black and green, broken broadsword laying idly next to them.

_ Riven. _

Irelia slowly walked until she was in front of her, unsure whether she should announce herself or just appear, for she didn’t know which option would guarantee she didn’t get stabbed to death.

_ Maybe both options promise death. _

_ Maybe leaving the crest blades back in my room was not a very sound decision. _

But as she came face to face with Riven, she noticed the woman was not aware of her presence.

She couldn’t be, for she was out cold; completely  _ unconscious. _

Her back laid against the tree’s trunk, her head hung limply in front of her, each limb awkwardly bent this or that way, fingers unflexed and all strength gone as blood slowly dripped from each of her wounds.

Irelia slowed down her own breathing, inhaling and exhaling the minimum air possible as she slowly approached the slumbering Noxian.

“Riven?” She asked in a voice too small for anybody to hear, even though she felt as if she was screaming into the dead silence of the night.

The Noxian did not react.

Fighting the urge only for a second and losing the battle miserably, Irelia crouched to be on Riven’s level and brought one of her hands to her chin, slowly lifting her head up.

Her eyes were closed and a wound she had placed on her cheek earlier was still open, but she was still breathing, slow and deep.

Irelia promptly released her.

Her head hung limply again.

Riven was completely passed out.

Knowing she’d regret it for the rest of her life —which would probably be cut short —if Riven saw that same moment as opportune to wake up, Irelia lifted her head again with one hand and, with the other, she forced one of Riven’s eyes open.

The iris was, once again, red.

Irelia frowned.

_ Back to normal. _

Because  _ this  _ was the normal Riven.

White hair, red eyes and no blackness to her.

The other one was a blasphemous copy.

She pointedly ignored how she was defending the Noxian in her own head, in her own way, and focused on the fact that Riven had, apparently, left their training  _ only  _ to pass out against a tree trunk.

Was she really that tired, after their fight?

Irelia’s frown deepened.

_ But it was so short, really… and I’m not even tired. _

She smirked.

_ Someone’s lacking stamina. _

She was desperate for Riven to wake up just so that she could torment her with the newfound knowledge.

“You know, for someone so proud of their physical abilities, you’re actually a weakling.” Irelia murmured as she grabbed Riven by the waist and brought her up to her feet. “What a scam you are, Riven.”

She placed Riven’s arm over her shoulders and held her in place by her waist, ready to bring her back to the Placidium.

As she took her first step back, she felt something hard press against the sole of her foot.

Irelia looked down.

It felt as if that awful weapon was  _ staring  _ right back at her.

She  _ glared  _ at the broken sword.

Raising her brows, she considered leaving it there, simply abandoning the vile thing, for the Earth to do what it pleased with it, even if it was as unearthy as anything could ever be.

Seconds passed, but they felt awfully long.

_ She wouldn’t be too happy if I did that. _

And thus, careful enough so as not to let the snoozing Riven fall, Irelia crouched and grabbed the cursed object, fighting the insane urge to throw it away as she did so, before standing up straight again and resuming her walk back to the Ionian palace, ignoring the desire to get rid of the object that seemed to scorch her hand with its’ mere presence in each step they took.

Once again, she pointedly ignored the looming question of when, exactly, had she started caring about a Noxian’s happiness.

* * *

 

When Riven woke up, the first thing she noticed was that each and every part of her body was sore.

When she shifted, trying to ease the tension on her muscles, her eyes opened as she noticed a second thing.

She was not in the forest anymore, but in her own bedroom, instead.

As she tried to get up and into a sitting position, she realized someone was in there with her, sitting by her desk, turning to see where the noise she was doing came from, only to raise her brows at her.

“You’re awake,” Sao stated, getting up and closer to the side of the bed, sitting on the sofa right next to it.

“It would seem so,” Riven commented, bringing a hand up to her eyes and rubbing the sleep from them. “How did I get here?”

She felt her brain stop working when Sao simply responded, “Irelia brought you here.”

Riven frowned, “Irelia?” Sao nodded her head. “How?”

_ When? _

_ Why? _

_ Really? Irelia? The Captain of the Guard, Irelia? _

_ That same one? _

Sao shrugged, “She went out looking for you an hour or two ago,” She started, “She told me she found you passed out against a tree, so she brought you back here on her own.”

It was a very difficult thing to imagine, let alone to process as something  _ real  _ that had actually happened, the fact that Irelia Lito herself had bothered to go out  _ looking  _ for her and had brought her back to her room.

The hand on her face came into contact with her cheek and she felt the curious oxymoron of a rough smoothness that characterized bandages.

She had been struck there, she remembered.

Her hand moved to her neck, where Irelia had pressed her blade against her skin.

There was a bandage there, too.

Slowly moving the covers away, she inspected herself.

Only in her undergarments, she had bandages all over her body, covering each wound that she had adorning her skin.

“Thank you,” Riven called absentmindedly.

Sao frowned, “For what?”

The Noxian got comfortable once more under the blankets, letting them cover her. “For taking care of my wounds.” She said, “Must have been a lot of work.”

“Oh,” Sao said, raising her brows a bit. “I didn’t do that.”

_ What? _

“If you didn’t, then who—”

“Irelia did.” She said, a look on her face that indicated that she felt she was stating the obvious.

And it made the image of Irelia bringing her back from the woods even harder to process.

Not only had she brought her back, she had also tended to her wounds.

Irelia had brought her broken body back and then she had probably taken most of her clothes off, just to clean and bandage each cut, before placing her in her bed and letting her sleep.

She could feel her face heating up by the time her mind reached the  _ clothes off  _ part of the thought.

_ Embarrassment. It’s embarrassment. _

She checked her hands and relief washed over her as she realized they were still bandaged, as she usually wore them.

_ Thank the Gods. _

“And where is she, now?” She opted for asking more questions instead of processing all those difficult thoughts.

Sao shrugged. “She called me some minutes ago and asked me to keep an eye on you while she was gone. She said she’d be back in a few, but she hasn’t returned yet.”

Riven  _ pointedly  _ ignored the fact that, judging by Sao’s words, Irelia had apparently remained to her side since the moment she found her in the woods, asking for someone else to do the job only because she couldn’t do it herself.

“What,” She started, “Is she afraid of me running away or something, that she has to ask you to  _ keep an eye on me?”  _ She joked, looking for a the Irelia-logic behind her actions.

But Sao was shaking her head. “She just wanted me to keep you company, in case you woke up while she was gone. She didn’t feel okay with you waking up and being on your own, probably confused about how you got here in the first place, so she asked me to be here to help you if you needed something.”

So Sao wasn’t exactly  _ keeping an eye on her,  _ she was actually just  _ looking out for her. _

Irelia’s direct orders.

And only because Irelia herself couldn’t do it at the moment.

_ Thoughtful. _

_ Personal. _

So Riven decided she had to think about something else.

“What happened after the fight?” She asked, a frown on her red face.

It made Sao look at her with a concerned expression. “What do you mean?” She started, “You don’t remember—”

“I know what I did,” Riven cut her off, knowing what her train of thought was. “I mean what did  _ you all  _ do once I was gone.”

“Well, we called it a day,” Sao said, deciding  _ not  _ to tell her about Orlon’s conversation with them. “Training was over. Irelia wanted to go looking after you, but I told her to give you some time and space before doing so,” She shrugged, “You seemed to really need it and I didn’t want her suffocating you,” She chuckled, “And I know just how suffocating she can be.”

_ How?  _ She wanted to ask,  _ You should have let her come. _

But, at the same time, Riven knew.

Riven knew she didn’t know what she would have done, had Irelia trailed after her.

Riven knew she was gone enough that she could have killed her, though.

So she settled for saying, “Thank you for that. I did need the space.”

“I know,” Sao said, nodding her head, “You know, I’m only looking out for you.”

Riven nodded her head, “Yeah, I—”

“And for  _ her,”  _ Sao continued, making Riven look into her hazel eyes, only to find an intense warning in them. “I look out for you  _ both. _ ” She hunched forwards, “And you’re my friend, Riven, but it would be very hard for you to remain a friend if you hurted the one person I love like a sister, so  _ please,  _ keep an eye on whatever the Hell you unleashed today because if the need to choose arises, it will be ugly and painful, but I will always choose Irelia.” She shook her head, “Don’t fool yourself by thinking otherwise.”

Riven let out a breath in a long exhale, opening her mouth to speak—

Sao’s hand on her own successfully silenced her. “Don’t take it the wrong way, Riven.” She said, a gentleness to her voice that the Noxian hadn’t heard before, “But I wouldn’t betray my Captain, even if some of her decisions are brash and just  _ stupid.” _

Riven shook her head, “No, I don’t take it the wrong way.” She said, offering a small smile. “I…” She trailed off, sighing.

She knew exactly what Sao was asking, the implied question behind her statement.

_ What the Hell was all of that about? _

And she meant the frenziness she had fallen into during her fight with Irelia.

So Riven sighed again, “I’m not exactly sure what happened back there,” She started, “I guess it was all too painful, striking too close to home, reminding me of very awful experiences and I just—” She shook her head, “I just lost it, I guess.”

Sao nodded her head, thinking about it all. “Well,” She started. “Don’t lose it again, or else you’ll lose something else along with it, too.”

Riven frowned, “What?”

There was a knock on the door.

Sao shrugged, “Your life.” She responded, before standing up and opening it. “Took you long enough.”

“It wasn’t even that long,” Irelia responded back, entering the room with no other warning after that, before quickly moving towards the desk on the room and placing a tray on it. She quickly moved back to the door, where Sao had stood still, “Thank you for covering for me.”

Sao shook her head, “No problem.” She said, before making her way through the door, completely deciding  _ not  _ to tell her friend that the woman they had been taking care of was currently awake. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“I will,” Irelia replied, before closing the door behind her and moving to the desk, sitting on the chair by it.

It was then, when Irelia moved around a few papers and let out a sigh as she picked up a pen and started scribbling away that Riven realized the Captain was not aware of her being conscious again.

She watched Irelia’s hunched figure as she read the paper in front of her, before nodding her head once, placing her pen on it, flicking her wrist and then placing it to a side, before moving on to the next one.

She was doing her paperwork here, in Riven’s bedroom, instead of in her  _ office,  _ specifically designed for doing just  _ that. _

Riven kept quietly watching Irelia as the Ionian signed paper after paper, before taking a small break to grab a bowl from the tray she had brought with her—

She quickly pulled her hand away with a quiet hiss; whatever she had touched was, apparently, hot.

Riven saw Irelia glare at the inanimate object, before grabbing what looked like toast from next to it and spreading something on it, before taking a loud bite.

Realizing just how noisy she had just been, Irelia unexpectedly turned to look at Riven and check she was sleeping—

She froze when she saw Riven looking right back at her, eyes wide with curiosity.

She suddenly felt too aware of just how  _ big  _ that bite had been, considering her cheeks were puffed up and she had crumbs all over her mouth.

she wiped with her wrist, before quickly swallowing the barely-chewed bite, “You’re up.”

Riven stared.

She didn’t buy, not even for one second, that she was actually awake. This all just  _ had  _ to be a fever dream.

She wanted to laugh, feeling hysterical, but instead settled for deadpanning a, “Yeah, I am.” But she couldn’t help herself as she added, “And you’re eating toast in my room.”

Irelia looked at her, before slowly nodding her head. “And I just burned my hand with a bowl of soup.”

“Yeah,” Riven said, nodding, “I saw that.”

Irelia frowned, “How long have you been up?”

“Since before Sao left.”

So the Ionian slowly nodded her head, her brows raising a bit, “So that bastard deliberately decided not to inform me of this.”

Riven nodded, feeling so out of place, so weird about hearing Irelia talk so nonchalantly, going as far as to use insults and all. “She does have a thing for leaving people out of the loop, doesn’t she?”

Irelia sighed, “She really does.” She said, before asking, “Are you hungry?”

And Riven really wanted to say  _ no,  _ but realized she couldn’t once her stomach rumbled loud enough that she just  _ knew  _ Irelia had heard it. “Yeah.”

Biting her toast so as to hold it with her mouth, Irelia got up and, carefully, brought the tray to Riven, placing it on her lap, “Careful,” She said around a mouthful of toast, her eyes locked on Riven’s for a second longer than necessary, “It’s hot.” She finished, going back to her seat by Riven’s desk, though the chair was turned to face the Noxian, having even brought it closer to the bed.

“I suspected it,” Riven replied, wishing to bite her own tongue at the glare Irelia regarded her with, feeling relief wash over her at the sight of a small smirk after a second. “Wasn’t this yours, though?”

Irelia nodded, “It was, but I’ll settle for the toasts. I can go looking for more later if need be.”

“What time is it?” Riven brought a spoonful of the hearty meal up and blew a bit on it, “Isn’t the kitchen closed after a certain hour?”

“It’s somewhere around three in the morning and  _ yes,  _ it is, but I do what I want.”

And it was then that Riven paid attention,  _ really  _ paid attention, to Irelia’s demeanor.

It was uncanny, how the way she displayed herself seemed to never change, yet she could clearly tell playful Irelia from angry Irelia and so on. It was like the air around her changed, even if she remained as calm and collected as ever.

She had learned how to read her emotions.

Maybe Irelia was more of an open book than what she had imagined.

“I see,” she replied, “Is that why you can also get  _ toast  _ with your awful soup, unlike the rest of us commoners?”

“Do  _ not  _ insult the soup; I like it.” Irelia warned with a playful glare. “But yes. I can get luxuries such as  _ toast  _ because I am  _ Irelia Lito  _ and the cook loves me _.  _ Meanwhile, you can’t because you’re simply  _ Riven…”  _ She saw as Irelia trailed off and a frown formed on her face. “Did you ever tell me your last name?”

“I don’t have one.”

It surprised the blue haired woman and it made Riven realize that the Ionian was actually far more expressive than she had taken her to be; she had just not been looking hard enough. “No?” At the shake of Riven’s head, Irelia added, “Is that a Noxian thing? Not having family names?”

“It’s far more complicated than that.” Riven settled, not knowing whether she should explain or not. “It’s a Noxian tradition. I’m just  _ Riven.” _

Sensing Riven’s reluctance, Irelia dropped the subject. “Okay.”

“Why are you doing your paperwork here?” Riven asked, deciding that beating around the bush would definitely not work.

“So that I can be here for you, in case you need anything.”

The simple response, let out so casually, as if Irelia was stating the  _ obvious… _

But it was never obvious with Irelia.

“But  _ why?  _ Why are you doing this?”

Irelia raised a brow, “Do you want me to leave—”

“ _ No,”  _ Riven was quick to cut her off. “I need to understand the motive behind this, that’s all.”

Irelia regarded her for a second and Riven felt how she was picking at every inch of her skin with those ice cold eyes.

“I just feel like I should, considering I am the reason why you’re in the state you’re in at the moment.”

“The state I’m in…” Riven mused out loud. “What would that state be?”

“Sore, hurt,  _ tired,”  _ Irelia raised a brow, “You passed out in the woods, did you know?”

Riven nodded, “And you brought me here.”

“That I did.” Irelia confirmed, “And—”

“And you patched me up.”

She swallowed whatever she was about to say, before replying, “Yes, yes I did.”

“And you did all of that for what?” Riven asked again, as if really not understanding the situation, “So that Diana won’t be pissed when you send me back to Targon?”

Irelia’s frown deepened as she shook her head. “What? No.” She looked at Riven with an inquisitive look, “Do you think I’m going to exile you from Ionia or something?”

_ Exile. _

_ What a word. _

“I don’t know, maybe? Irelia,” She started, and she was about to talk to her like a  _ colleague,  _ and it felt so  _ out of place, “ _ I believe you know how I move around the battlefield well enough to know that I was actually trying to  _ kill you,  _ earlier in the day.”

“I do know that,  _ Riven,”  _ She replied in the same exact tone, “It wouldn’t be the first time you try,” She said, dropping a bomb but at the same time not meaning anything by it, “So I think I’m pretty familiar with  _ murderous-you.” _

Somehow, she was able to see past the brushing of a too difficult topic, “Then  _ why  _ are you not kicking me out?”

“Do you  _ want  _ me to do it?” Irelia asked her, hearing Riven reply with a  _ What? Why would I—  _ “Do you want to leave Ionia, Riven?”

She remained quiet for a second.

“I don’t know.”

She was being half-honest.

She did know, but she was uncertain whether it was a sound decision or not.

Should she  _ really  _ stay?

Irelia was tranquil, her eyes lazily set on Riven’s, “The doors to Ionia are open for you to leave if you so wish to, but no one here has the intent to kick you out.” She sighed, “I  _ did  _ invite you in the first place, so it would be really stupid of me to send you back to Targon, after a year of waiting for you to actually take the invite and come back.”

“You never told me why you asked me to come back.”

She didn’t know whether the soup was laced with some drug that made you bolder, but Riven wasn’t about to question it. Instead, she decided to let herself ask it all now, then regret it later.

Irelia’s eyes unfocused as she lost herself in her own thoughts for a second, forming a coherent stream of words that would best explain her reasoning behind it all.

She chuckled, then.

Irelia  _ chuckled. _

“I can only imagine what it’s like from your side,” She started, “You must feel like I’m a puzzle that you must solve but you’re missing all the right pieces.” She said, taking into account the way Riven’s head nodded subtly. “The truth is that I’m coming to terms with a few things, Riven. I’m still wrapping my head around some things that I never expected to ever happen, like seeing you again.” Her eyes locked on Riven’s, “When you first came in here with Diana, I immediately recognized you, but I just thought it was my head, making me see similarities where there were none.” She looked down between them at the chest where Riven’s sword laid, “Then I saw your broken blade and everything just…” She shook her head. “I was transported to a day I remember out of spite and I wish I could forget.”

Riven felt like she could drown in the blue of Irelia’s irises as she heard her speak, “The person I saw in front of me that day was the one person I’ve spent all my life blaming for all of my woes.” Irelia explained, “All my life, I’ve blamed that night on you and called it a day, letting myself believe that you were dead, even if Sao told me she had the feeling that  _ someone else  _ had survived that night.” She shook her head, “I didn’t want to believe it, so I refused so believe it. But then, you showed up and it was all as fresh as it had always been inside my head.”

She sighed, laying her head back on her chair. “I wanted to kill you, but I spared your life for Diana’s sake. Then you proved you weren’t the same as you had once been, in a way, and I just—” She sighed again, “I just acted on impulse and hoped you’d be back. Never regretted it, but at some point I just thought you’d never take me up on the offer.”

Her eyes were on the ceiling, “I’ve never been sure about the exact reason  _ why  _ I invited you back, but I guess it has a lot to do with  _ closure.”  _ She looked at Riven, “I think we owe each other a certain closure, regarding that night. We’re the only survivors, the only witnesses to what had happened, and I  _ know  _ the ghosts of that night still haunt you. I can see it in the way you zone out when Orlon’s playing with fire, or when you see someone with particularly good archery skills. I saw it in our fight, too. I  _ see  _ what haunts you, Riven,” And she took a deep breath, “Because it haunts me, too.” She offered her a small, sad smile, “And I can tell the signs that indicate when you’re here or when you’ve gone somewhere else in your head, because I’ve learned how to hide them.”

She hunched forwards, ignoring Riven’s hyper focus on her. “I don’t know how, yet, but I think we need to put these souls to rest, somehow, and that’s something only you and I can do. I’m  _ done  _ pretending everything’s fine and that there’s nothing that torments me, just like I’m  _ done  _ with the animosities between us, and I  _ know  _ I’m the only one who gets hostile between you and I, so you don’t have to mention it, really.” She then laid back again, her eyes on Riven’s, “I invited you back for closure, but I was still  _ too angry  _ about  _ everything  _ to even consider that maybe closure required peace, to think that maybe you weren’t the bad guy in the story, but something else, instead: the pawn in someone else’s game, following orders from my opponent, unknowingly ready to never win and lose it all.”

“And what made you consider that maybe I wasn’t the bad guy?”

Irelia smirked, “Sao. She can be really persistent when she feels she’s right about something. She told me you weren’t as bad as I had told her you’d be and you proved her right time after time.”

Riven chuckled, but there was no amusement on it. “Until last training, where I proved her wrong.”

But Irelia was shaking her head. “No. Last training was just  _ me  _ pushing it too far and I apologize for it.” And Riven couldn’t  _ believe  _ her ears, for Irellia was  _ apologizing to her.  _ “There’s a lot of talking that we should have done beforehand that we didn’t and I’m the only one to blame for it, even if I can tell you hate talking about that night.”

Riven nodded, “I do.”

“But you know we  _ will  _ have to talk about it at some point, don’t you?”

_ We will have to talk about it. _

Irelia was offering her time to process.

Riven was grateful.

“I do.”

Irelia nodded her head. “Good.”

“I don’t think you should apologize for the training, earlier.” Riven commented, “I think we both needed that.” She thought about it for a minute, “To let loose for a bit, have a go at each other and see how far we were willing to take it.”

Irelia nodded, “I do think I needed that.”

And she needed it for many reasons.

She needed it to see how far  _ she  _ was willing to go, how far  _ Riven  _ was willing to go.

How she felt with it all.

How bad would she feel if Riven was left with a sour taste in her mouth.

_ Bad enough for it to mean something. _

How similar to that night it all had been.

Yet, at the same time, how different.

“And we were willing to take it very far, apparently, but not far enough to kill each other.”

“I had my sword against your neck, Irelia.”

Irelia  _ smiled. “ _ And you didn’t do it.”

And Riven  _ knew  _ she was right.

She  _ knew,  _ because she had fought every voice in her head in that moment.

Every vile voice telling her to  _ do it,  _ she had cursed them all to the Void and stopped herself.

And the only reason behind her trying to convince Irelia that she was  _ dangerous  _ was to prevent it from happening  _ again. _

And that alone spoke a lot about Riven’s stance on killing Irelia.

But she couldn’t tell Irelia that she lost control of herself, that she not only sees ghosts but is sometimes possessed by them, being caged in her own mind as they make her go mad.

She didn’t dare.

She  _ knew  _ that Irelia suspected something of the sorts, though.

She could see it in those cunning eyes.

She just didn’t know the extent of it, yet.

There were many questions left to ask, but no answers they were willing to share.

Yet.

So Riven simply replied. “I didn’t do it.”

Irelia seemed pleased, and she got up from her seat when she saw Riven yawn. “I’ll let you sleep,” She said, taking the tray from Riven’s lap and placing it again on her desk. “You’ll have a day free of training tomorrow so that you can recover a bit more. If you need anything, I’m on the—”

“Third door to the left, I know.”

“Oh, you remembered.”

“I did.” Riven shook her head, correcting herself, “Do. I do.”

“That’s good.”

“What about  _ you  _ and  _ your  _ recovery?” Riven asked her as she eyed the bandages on her neck, her cheek. “You were also kind of injured.”

And then Irelia was sporting the look of someone that knows a dirty secret you don’t want to share with anyone, “I don’t need rest as much as you do.”

Riven gulped. What did Irelia know? Why the smirky face, the raised brow?

“Okay,” Riven replied instead, watching as Irelia left the tray but picked up her paperwork and her pen. “Goodnight, Irelia.”

“Goodnight, Riven,” She said, heading to the door and turning the knob—

“Will you be joining us in training again?” Riven quickly asked.

Irelia stopped.

“I don’t really know how good of an idea that is.”

“I don’t want you to think you can’t,” Riven explained, “I think you’re a very good trainer for them. Definitely taught them more than I could ever do.”

She heard Irelia huff a laugh. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“We’ll see about it, then.” Irelia finished, then made her way out and locked the door.

Riven laid back down and, as she moved her hand to her neck, she quickly found her Lunari charm, the one that she wore on a chain as a necklace.

It made her realize two things.

One, that she hadn’t thought of Diana in too long, today being the first time since what seemed like forever that she called her name.

_ Blame it on the stress. _

Two, that now Irelia knew of the charm and she’d probably be  _ insufferable  _ about it.

Riven groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday! I can't stop writing send help.


	13. Transgressive Border Crossing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riven recovers swiftly and is back on the grind, surprised to see Irelia joining her on it.

Riven couldn’t stop looking at herself in the mirror.

_What do they put on their healing ointments in here?_

The cuts that had been all over her were almost fully gone, as if nothing had happened, a barely-there, reddish line on each former wound, the promise of a future, small scar on each place she had had her skin opened.

Having taken a bath already, her full day of rest well gone as she spent it mostly sleeping and eating, taking a few minutes every hour to stretch her sore self, Riven got her training robes on and prepared to leave her room.

As she reached the door, she considered taking her sword with her.

She frowned, then. Did she even know where her sword was?

She bolted to her chest and opened it, letting out a sigh of relief as she saw her Targonian armor, her sword resting idly on top of it.

She guessed it must have been Irelia who put it there.

She thought about taking it for another second.

She stared at it, felt it tugging at her very soul, demanding she grabbed it and took it with her.

She _heard it_ demand it.

Whispers that grew with every second she remained still—

She promptly closed the chest.

_There’s no reason for me to carry it._

So she took a leap of faith of sorts and blindly trusted the anguish that asked her to leave it there.

Moving quickly to the door before she could regret her decisions, Riven left the room unarmed, leaving cursing, whispering voices behind.

* * *

 

She pretended she didn’t feel all eyes on her when she made it to the training camps.

It was almost impossible, though, considering all voices suddenly fell quiet.

“Riven!” She heard Orlon call for her and Riven turned to see him approaching her, thanking whichever deity was listening to her for the distraction he provided. “You’re out of your cave.”

She was getting tired of people _stating the obvious_ to her.

She frowned at him, before inspecting herself, “You’re lying!” She looked at him again, “Am I? For real?” She asked, laughing as Orlon shoved her a bit.

“Piss off.”

“It’s okay, I know you missed me.”

“Like Hell.” And the sarcasm on his tone wasn’t missed, but Riven smiled at the harmless joke. “How are you?”

“I’m fine. Still a bit sore, but I’m good to go.”

But he hadn’t meant that. She knew, for she could see it in his eyes.

Orlon knew something else and wanted to ask her about it, though he was wary about it.

_Good. Let him be wary._

After all, there was a reason why she hadn’t shared the extent of her abilities and it wasn’t just to _hide_ her potential.

She simply didn’t like the questions that usually came right after.

“That’s good to hear.” He replied, and he seemed genuinely happy about it, so Riven smiled back, letting him join the rest of the rookies as Ban and Sao appeared, the Noxian taking her rightful place by their side, standing in front of everyone else.

Once again, ignoring the morbidly curious stares.

“Okay, soldiers!” Ban started, the sound of approaching footsteps making him look to his right, “Let’s start the warm up…”

They all noticed he trailed off.

Everyone turned to look at what had caught his attention.

 _Irelia_ was jogging her way towards them.

She stopped by the three Captains, “Good morning,” She said to them, before turning to the soldiers with a frown on her face. “Those with magical abilities, to the left. Those without, to the right. Start warming up after that.” She clapped her hands together, “Come on! Quick!”

“Uh, what do you think you’re doing?” Sao asked with a frown as she watched them split in two groups, “Shouldn’t you be taking care of some more important matters?”

“I’m kind of tired of paperwork,” Irelia replied dryly, “So I’ll be joining the training of this troop from now on.”

Both Sao and Ban were left even more confused than before, clear in the way both of them said in unison, “What?”

“Irelia,” Sao started, a raised brow in inquisition, “What is this about?”

Irelia shrugged, “It’s about me, training with other people for a bit. I feel like it’s a good idea and I need a break from being suffocated by papers.”

And her eyes landed on Riven.

The Noxian saw the faint ghost of a smile on her lips.

She could practically read the words implied to come after her kind of unfinished sentence.

_And I’m Irelia Lito, so I do what I want._

Riven looked away, the ants on the ground suddenly _very_ interesting.

“Well, okay but, couldn’t you warn us in advance?” Ban asked, “Now I feel like we’ve woken up early in vain.”

“Making me feel useless is _definitely_ crossing a line in our friendship, Irelia.”

Irelia regarded them with a raised brow, “You two aren’t off-duty here. I’m going to train along with you and provide some directions, but I won’t be training the soldiers.” She said, “You,” She looked at Sao, “Will train the mages and _you,”_ She looked at Ban, “Will train the non-magical.”

“And you?”

“I’ll train with Riven.” She said.

“What?”

This time, the _three_ of them had asked it in unison.

Irelia looked at Riven. “You and I will be training together, while the rest follow Ban and Sao’s orders.”

Riven shook her head in confusion, “But shouldn’t I be helping them with it? Considering I’m a Captain and all—”

“Consider yourself released from that task. Now, your duty is be my training partner.” Irelia raised her brow millimetrically. “Is that clear?”

Riven gulped.

_Because she’s Irelia Lito and she does what she wants._

“Yes, my Captain.”

And something in those light eyes grew dark at the words Riven let out.

“And what are we supposed to do with these two groups you formed?” Sao asked Irelia, both her and her brother feeling the strangeness to Irelia and Riven’s interaction.

Irelia shrugged. “Torture them a bit. Make them beat each other up, but exploiting what they’re good at. I don’t know,” She placed a hand on Ban’s shoulder and another one on Sao’s, “You’re somewhat on your own here. Good luck. Riven,” She looked at the Noxian, “With me.”

And as Irelia attempted to turn and walk away, she felt Sao grip her forearm, _hard._

The Blade Dancer looked into her friend’s eyes.

She could see the warning in them as clear as day.

She was asking her to be careful and look out for herself, but she was also telling her she’d be watching them.

Looking out for both of them, specially considering she didn’t know where Irelia was going to with this weird scheme of hers, so unexpected yet real.

Irelia’s head moved in a nodding motion, before Sao released her and she turned, walking only a few steps away from them all as Sao moved towards the mages and Ban towards the rest, Riven trailing after the blue eyed Captain.

She realized Irelia was taking them far enough so that they were out of earshot, but not too far, so as not to lose sight of the troop.

So as not to have the troop lose sight of them, either.

“So, you did join us again,” Riven started as she followed, once she was certain no one could eavesdrop on them. “What convinced you to do it?”

Irelia turned to face her, finishing her walk away from the rest, “Nothing in particular,” She replied, her eyes on the soldiers behind Riven, before they moved towards the Noxian’s. “I just remembered someone telling me I was a good trainer.”

Riven huffed a laugh, “That someone is wise.”

“Yeah,” Irelia said, “But I don’t know if I should believe her.”

“No?” She saw Irelia shake her head. “Why?”

“Because she’s a _liar.”_

Riven frowned. “I—”

“You talk such a big game, about how you’re so powerful,” She started, getting closer to the Noxian, “But the truth is that you left the fight, the other day, so that you could _pass out_ against a tree.” She smirked, “You burst out your strength in a short-lived frenzy and then you’re _dead,_ unlike others like me, who play the long game. You can only last for so long before you’re drained. Meanwhile, I can go on for hours. Even days.”

Riven closed her eyes, if only to shut out Irelia for a second.

Why was it so easy to be suggestive when talking about fighting?

“I don’t know what you’re—”

“You’re lacking stamina, Riven.” Irelia said, her words closer than before. “Evident in how I was still awake at three in the morning and you were yawning, ready to sleep some more after having woken up only a few minutes ago, so we’re going to work on that, you and I.”

She didn’t know what was making her so uncomfortable, for the kind of dizziness that took over her body wasn’t alike the fear she had felt the last time, being something far gentler instead, but she tried to tackle the matter anyway, suddenly very put off by the idea she had enjoyed earlier of Irelia joining their training.

Because when she had suggested she did so, she certainly didn’t expect to be training with Irelia rather _privately._

“Do you think this is a good idea?” She quietly asked the Ionian, slowly opening her eyes to find her standing face to face with her, the Captain of the Guard being of her same height.

And she saw right through Irelia’s steel resolve, as she relaxed her shoulders and sighed.

“I know I overstepped last time we trained together, but we’re going to take it slow, this time.” She smiled, “Do you think you can trust me on this?”

And Riven felt the need to say _I want to believe I can trust you on everything._

“No, but you give the orders around here, so it’s not like I have much of a choice here.” She said instead.

Irelia opened her mouth to say something, then closed it, that steely expression back on, though it didn’t look as intimidating as it had once been, Riven decided. “Good.” She was glaring at Riven, but there was no anger behind the expression, having it be a harmless game. “Now, let’s see just how good you are on hand to hand.”

* * *

 

“Please,” She took a few gulps of breath. “A minute. I only ask for a minute.”

“There’s no minutes in war.”

And Riven only had a fraction of a second to dodge the hook that came for her cheek.

Irelia had been right: she had no stamina whatsoever.

Their first minutes of training had been easy enough, with both Riven and Irelia throwing punches and dodging the other’s attempts, almost equaled, though Riven found Irelia’s guard down more times than Irelia found hers.

But after the fifteen minute mark, she had started to lose her breath.

And she could see Irelia was just then getting started.

The Captain started to advance on her, slowly dominating her more and more, until Riven was left completely breathless, exhausted to no end and even dizzy due to the lack of oxygen, which persuaded Irelia to _lower_ her aggressiveness, but it wasn’t enough to make her halt it completely.

“Irelia, _please—”_

“I can’t believe you’re actually _begging.”_ Irelia laughed, before trying to kick Riven’s head, who threw herself to the ground face-first to dodge, too tired to try anything else.

“I feel like I’m going to pass out.” Riven said, jagged breaths making her back rise and fall.

Irelia placed a foot on Riven’s back, then bent over until her face was close enough to Riven’s, “I told you; you have no endurance.” She brought her foot to Riven’s side and lifted her with it, making her turn and land on her back. “You look so intimidating and scary but that’s only in the first few moments: as long as your opponent remains perseverant, you’re dead meat.”

“I don’t need to last too long,” Riven replied from the ground, “I can defeat anyone on the first round.”

Irelia, her feet to each side of Riven’s body, dropped to her knees so that she was straddling the Noxian, smirking at how Riven’s expression went from tiredly-cocky to tiredly-fearful. “You didn’t defeat me.”

And with no other warning, Irelia started throwing punches at the white haired woman, who was quick to bring her hands up and protect her face, but had no energy left to try and get Irelia off of her.

The attempts to attack her were half hearted and she _knew,_ but they were still painful. “Irelia! _Stop!”_

Irelia frowned, “I have no mercy for Noxus.” She said and Riven could _hear_ the amusement in her voice.

She managed to catch her wrists, but Irelia twisted her hands and ended up grabbing hers and pinning them to the dirt, bringing her face a few inches closer and staring into Riven’s eyes with a focused frown.

Riven felt how she was scrutinizing her and wondered whatever was Irelia thinking, blue eyes unmoving from her own.

Whatever it was, it must have been good, for Irelia smirked, then, her scowl gone. “Okay, we’re done,” She said, before getting up and offering Riven her hand.

Riven moved to grab it—

Irelia moved it away, “Too slow.”

Riven felt terribly humiliated by this point. “ _Irelia!”_

The Captain _laughed,_ before stretching her hand again.

This time, Riven caught it and Irelia brought her up to her feet.

“Come on,” Irelia walked ahead, looking as fresh as she had looked when she had just arrived at their training. “Let’s have lunch for a bit.”

And Riven’s embarrassment wasn’t as bad as she had thought.

* * *

 

Riven fell to her bed, exhausted, hair still wet after her bath.

It had been quite a few days already since they started training together.

And bit by bit, she realized, they grew closer.

“Breathe slower on the seconds you’re not receiving nor delivering punches,” Irelia had once let out between breaths, talking to a sweaty Riven, “It’ll help you save some energy.” She had explained, watching as Riven nodded her head and relaxed her heavy breathing, before letting all the air out as she prepared for Irelia’s punch to her gut.

They trained together every day, starting with the rest of the troop and finishing hours and hours after the night had already settled.

“What time is it?” Irelia had asked once, as she laid beneath an attacking Riven.

The Noxian had looked up to the sky, “It must be midn—“

Irelia had then taken advantage of the situation and flipped them, landing on top and bringing a fist up.

Riven’s eyes had widened and she quickly deflected the blow, “What was that for?!”

“For making me believe you were dead, that time we _fought.”_ Irelia had replied, mirth making her eyes shine, the hint of a smile on her lips.

She never let herself actually smile, so Riven had grinned at her, something wild on her moonlit face, and continued sparring.

And just like that, they started to know each other.

Better. Deeper.

Riven had learned Irelia was younger than her by only two years.

She realized it meant that, when she had attempted to invade Ionia as the first nineteen-year-old Hand of Noxus, let alone the first one to ever attempt such a feat, Irelia had been as young as seventeen, the only Ionian to ever manage to kick all of Noxus out of her country.

Period.

No one else had ever accomplished something like that.

No one ever accomplished the feat of kicking the Noxian army out.

Only Ionia.

_Only Irelia._

It made Riven realize she was learning from the best there was.

It made her realize she was so far from being the Perfect Leader,

 Perfect Soldier, yes, but never the Leader.

She learned Irelia’s brother was supposed to be the Captain of the Guard, but he wasn’t in Ionia when the Noxian attack happened and she took over, so she ended up being elected as the Captain instead of him.

She also learned that Ionia currently had no real leader, so Irelia took care of running the First Lands until they arranged whatever election they had to go over.

It helped her understand that Ionia was _very_ out of balance, considering all of the troubles Irelia had to go through; never being quite done with work despite it being the only thing she did, she also had to deal with the Kinkou Order, the Order of Shadows, the Shojin monks, those more roguish and lone-wolf-like and the Vastaya and did Irelia _ever_ catch a break, really?

She had learned to see the dark circles under her eyes, the stifled yawns and the millimetrically sluggish movements that indicated just how little sleep the woman got every night.

It reminded her how, eventually, during her nightly walks, she grew bolder and started allowing herself to walk past her door, specially the times when she knew Irelia wasn’t walking around like her, but asleep, instead.

At first, her heart would beat so fast in her chest that she wouldn’t be able to hear anything past its’ own beating.

After a few nights, she started pressing her ear against the door.

And it was faint, almost mute in how quiet it was, but it was _there._

Whining and moaning, whimpering and mumbling, sometimes even _crying._

It was then when she learned Irelia’s ghosts haunted her in her very dreams, too.

Nevermind that Irelia had somewhat told her; she needed the empirical proof and it was _right there._

And, for a second, she wondered whether Irelia saw them while awake, too, just like she had done, just like she still occasionally did.

She wondered if they were still there when she had her eyes open.

She didn’t dare venture into the room, wake her up and spare her from the monstrosities.

Not yet.

She was learning about her.

And just like she did, Irelia learned, too.

Not as explicitly, since she feigned a certain detachment, but she learned.

She learned that her sword had been a gift given to her by Darkwill, the day she was ranked as the Hand of Noxus, being the youngest to ever fill that position.

She learned about the runes carved in the black blade and what each of them meant.

She had watched Riven one night after they trained, as the Noxian dragged her finger across the dirt, drawing the runes as she explained what they did, what they stood for.

Power, strength, speed and domination.

Irelia hadn’t needed to see the drawings: she would never forget how they looked like, the memory of that dreadful night burned against the insides of her eyelids.

She had looked at Riven as she drew, instead.

She learned about the Crimson Elite, a squadron so secret she hadn’t known much about their existence, being almost completely oblivious about them.

She had told Riven all she knew about them is that they were the deadliest thing Noxus had to offer, so quietly handled that people usually thought they were a legend, but that she thought they were real.

Riven had responded by commenting, almost offhandedly, that she was their leader.

Irelia’s eyes had widened at that.

“You actually met them,” Riven had said.

And that’s all it took for Irelia to understand that she had _fought_ against them.

The small squadron of Noxians that had helped Riven escort the wagon that then exploded.

They learned about each other, but a few things remained secret, yet.

Irelia didn’t know about Riven’s family, whatever happened to her whenever her eyes turned green, the reasons why she had never discarded the sword nor why was she left with only a piece of it, the rest broken and gone with time.

She didn’t dare ask, yet.

So, despite the fact that she was actually finding herself _enjoying_ Riven’s company, she tried to avoid spending _too_ much time with her.

She found it kind of futile, since Riven seemed hellbent on pursuing her, whenever she was aware of Irelia being free.

 _And_ why _do you do that?_

And funnily enough, Riven asked herself the same thing.

Why _do I do this?_

No matter how many times she tried asking herself that question, she couldn’t answer it.

She couldn’t answer it, whenever she walked by Irelia’s door and brought her hand up, to knock on it, only to stop at the very last second.

She couldn’t answer it, every time she walked by the rooms in the Placidium that she knew Irelia frequented, eager to talk to the Ionian, only to find her busy, talking with someone else.

She couldn’t answer it right in that moment, as she walked to the balcony where she knew Irelia would stand and watch them train, for she had confessed so in one of their trainings.

She would have knocked on the door to Irelia’s office, but it was left ajar.

Steeling herself and not allowing the voice inside her head to deter her from doing it, she pushed it open and walked in.

Irelia’s desk was unoccupied, which was uncanny, to say the least. Behind it, the balcony doors that she had once thought were just windows, were wide open.

She saw no one.

She heard voices.

Riven slowed down, not daring a step closer to the open double doors that took her from Irelia’s office to her balcony.

“...Now they’ve got the way clear to…”

She stopped _breathing_ altogether.

That voice was _not_ Irelia’s.

Slow enough that the movement was almost imperceptible, she started drifting closer to the door.

“I’ve heard _enough_ of that.”

 _That_ was Irelia.

“Irelia,” A feminine voice, strangely familiar for Riven. “I’m not telling you what to do. I’m merely _warning you_ about _Zed’s—”_

“I don’t care about the stupid rumours you heard around, Akali.”

_Akali._

Riven recalled that name.

She hadn’t been near Irelia when she had showed up, during the last battle of Ionia, but she remembered Diana telling her about how an assassin had appeared seemingly out of nowhere and had spared Irelia’s life from Katarina DuCoteau’s blade.

Riven’s eyebrows rose.

It took _a lot_ to defeat Katarina. That much she knew.

For this assassin to hold the ability to keep _Katarina_ at bay…

_Skilled._

_Very much so._

_Deadlier than death._

She heard the so-called Akali sigh. “These are _not_ rumours, Irelia. This is _real.”_ She heard footsteps, “But this is a conversation to have in private and, right now, we’re not alone.”

Before either Irelia could question that statement, before Riven could even register what Akali had said, the assassin spoke again, “See you soon.”

And then Riven dared move towards the open balcony doors, walking around Irelia’s desk, looking out through them only to find Irelia to a side, alone, turning to look at her at the sound of Riven knocking on the glass so as to call her attention.

She looked surprised, but not displeased by her presence. “Riven.”

Suddenly Riven didn’t know what to do with herself. “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”

“I would say you didn’t, but I’ll take it you’ve heard _at least_ the end of that conversation.”

Riven closed her eyes, as if trying to reorganize the words in her head before she let out a stream of rambling. “Yeah, I mean, I just wanted to let you know that I wasn’t _eavesdropping_ or anything—”

“But you _were.”_ Irelia corrected her, walking into the room. “Because, if you hadn’t hoped to spy on me, you would have knocked on the door, even if I forgot it open, or at least you would have called my name loud enough.”

Riven knew her face was beet red.

She had been caught.

The smirk on Irelia’s face was enough to let her know the Ionian knew it.

Irelia patted her shoulder, “It’s okay, Riven.” She raised a brow, “I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same.” She walked to the sofas to their left, taking a seat on the armrest, looking at Riven, “Although, to be honest,” She let herself fall back, her head landing comfortably on the other armrest. “I would have done it _better._ Would have even gotten away with it. _”_

“Really?” Riven asked as she crossed her arms in front of her, watching Irelia nod. “Why do you think that?”

Irelia shrugged, “Dancer’s grace and all that. I know how to move better than you, so I’m definitely stealthier.”

Riven was making a face. “I don’t believe you.”

But then Irelia looked at her with such a bored expression that all Riven could do was snort, “Okay, fine, you win. I _do_ believe you.” She said, then moved towards the free sofa and took a seat on it as she heard Irelia say _Thank you, you ugly liar,_ which prompted her to raise a brow, “Excuse me? What was that? _Ugly liar?”_

Irelia was still looking at Riven like she hadn’t said anything new, “Where is the lie on _my_ statement? You’re an ugly liar.”

Riven rolled her eyes, “Whatever. You like me.”

“I really don’t.” Irelia said and then, before Riven could protest, she pointed at the wall—

“Who did that?” Riven asked rather incredulously, as she stared at her name, written on a piece of paper, pinned to a small target, Irelia’s blades embedded into it, as if someone had thrown them aiming at the letters on the wall.

“Who do you think? I did.”

“That was _definitely_ not here yesterday.”

“How would you know that?”

Now it was Riven’s turn to look _bored._ “Because you never made it to our training, so went to your room looking for you. Since no one answered, I came to your office and _here you were,_ found dead on your desk,” She tried not to laugh at Irelia’s mumbled, _On my defense, we start training too early,_ “And that target was _definitely not_ on that wall.”

Irelia chuckled, unable to fight it, “Okay, fine. You win. I didn’t do it. Ban did.” She nodded her head at Riven’s raised eyebrows.

“I knew he didn’t like me.”

“It’s not that he doesn’t like you. I think he’s just envious.”

“Envious?” She heard Irelia hum a _yes._ “Of _what,_ exactly?”

“Well, ever since I became _Ionia’s Liberator_ and all that, all Captains consider training with me a _privilege.”_ She shrugged, “I think he’s just envious of the fact that you train with me.” She let her head hang off the armrest before mumbling, “We’re all either Captains or soldiers here. I really should start looking into Ionian ranks and hierarchies.”

And Riven would have agreed, but she was still stuck on Ban being _envious._ ”So he’s mad at me because he has a crush on you.”

Nevermind that she was the _reason_ why Irelia was _Ionia’s Liberator._

_Thank me in some other life, Ban._

And the Noxian had to fight the laugh that bubbled up her throat at the sight of Irelia suddenly sitting up, _a deadly glare_ on her face. “He _doesn’t.”_ She said, as if disgusted by the mere thought. “But yeah, he dislikes you because he would rather have me training with him, instead of with you. But that’s not your business, to be honest,” She started again, laying back down. “Everyone on the First Lands seems hellbent on placing me on some kind of pedestal I don’t want to be in, so if it brings them trouble because I don’t respond to their expectations, then that’s _their_ problem to deal with.”

Riven contemplated those words, “Well, while I _do_ agree that having more attention than the one desired is awful, I have to admit that I would be _jealous,_ too.” She smirked, “I may say I hate it, but training with you is really doing wonders to my stamina.”

“I know,” Irelia said, letting herself be flattered but not humble enough to thank the Noxian. “You can last longer than just a few minutes, now.”

And Riven tried not to misunderstand that. “Exactly.”

Silence took over for a little bit, both rather distracted with the fire that seemed to be constantly burning in the office’s fireplace, the flame so potentially deadly being nothing but calm, so uncannily gentle when the cracking sounds were of burning wood and not of crushed bones.

“Who’s Akali?”

“She’s…” Irelia trailed off, sighing, “She’s a very long story.”

“Well, I’m patient,” Riven offered, “And I’ve got nowhere else to be, really.”

“You’re patient, but I’m _not.”_ Came the quick response.

Riven raised a brow, but still didn’t look at Irelia. “You’re such a walking contradiction,” She said, echoing something that still reverberated in her head and she _knew_ Irelia would catch it, but then she _did_ look at the Captain and quickly took some weight off the loaded words, “I remember you saying that you were the _most patient,_ not too long ago.”

Irelia narrowed her eyes. “People change, as you probably know.”

It was a soothing caress to Riven’s soul, the fact that now Irelia _could admit_ that people can, actually change.

Just like she had done, in a way.

Even if she was still the same.

Different, yet the same.

“So quickly?”

“Faster than light.”

Riven rolled her eyes. “Alright.”

And Irelia realized then that she had a question she had been meaning to ask but had forgotten about, “What are you doing here?”

And there was no sarcasm, no insult, no _nothing_ to it.

She was just genuinely _curious._

Riven was just as curious, if she was honest.

“Do you want me to tell you the truth or do you want me to lie?”

“Truth.”

“I honestly have no idea.” Riven said, eyes a bit wide. She shrugged, “I don’t know, I think I’ve just spent so much time around you lately that being away from you now feels _weird.”_ She grimaced, “Does it make sense?”

“No, not at all,” Irelia said, looking at her with fake concern on her face. “If anything, you should be tired of seeing my face all the time.”

“Well, I like to swim against the current.”

Irelia rolled her eyes. “I _know._ Trust me, I _do.”_

And then Irelia was yawning, which reminded Riven of a thing she had wished to talk with the Ionian. “You should stop overworking yourself.”

“I don’t _overwork_ myself.”

“Yes, you _do._ Every day and every night.” She turned on her seat to fully face Irelia. “You should delegate some work to somebody else, cut yourself some slack.”

Irelia was shaking her head. “I can’t. All my work is regarding the fact that we have no government of sorts at the moment. I need _leaders_ and I’m the only one around here.”

“Well, _I_ used to be a leader.”

Irelia sat up again, mirth on her expression. “You?” She laughed, “Riven, you were the leader of the _Noxian army.”_

“Exactly!” Riven exclaimed, “I would basically lead an _empire,_ Irelia.” She thought about it for a second and then, “And if there is _one_ thing that Noxus and Ionia have in common, is that they’re the biggest countries in all of Runeterra.”

“Shurima is big, too.” Irelia said, as if intent on countering everything Riven said, “And the Freljord.”

Riven _knew_ there was no convincing her. “Fine,” She dropped the subject, “Let me know when you stop being stubborn, my Captain.”

And she had meant it in a mocking way, the nickname.

But it had made Irelia smirk at her, anyway.

Apparently, her Captain liked being called just _that._

_Do you have some power trip, my Captain?_

Best not think about it.

Could lead to misunderstandings.

And as silence slowly took over them again, Irelia stretched, laid back down and, not knowing what prompted the desire to just _talk,_ she allowed herself to give in to the wish and did so. “What you heard a while ago, when Akali was here…” She sighed, “She means well. She’s a loner but cares about Ionia, so whenever she learns something that might be of my interest, she comes and informs me of it.” She looked at Riven, only to find her staring right back, “She was telling me about the Order of Shadows and what they are apparently planning to do.”

“Magical militarization.”

Irelia smirked, “Oh so you _were_ eavesdropping, then?”

Riven rolled her eyes, but her face had heated up. “Oh shut up, that’s _all_ I heard, really.”

But Irelia regarded her with a raised eyebrow and a small smirk and Riven had to look away for a second, positive that her face was even redder than before. “It’s _the truth!”_ She pretty much squealed in an accidentally high-pitched voice, feeling even _worse_ at the unexpected break of her usually smooth voice.

Irelia finally broke her stare, “Okay, I’ll believe you,” She said, her eyes landing on the fire again, before sighing and resuming the topic, “This organization has a former member of the Kinkou Order whose name is _Zed_ as their leader. This _man,”_ Irelia seemed to despise him, Riven noted, judging by the face she had pulled, the tone she had used. “Believes that _balance is a fool’s master,_ so he practically disregards and even _mocks all_ Ionian traditions, and wishes to create a strong military force with magic at the front.”

Riven was listening, intently, hoping to help Irelia vent out to her and feel better, but at the same time letting the strategist inside of her try and find a way to aid her against her foes, threats or whatever these people were. “Well, from an Ionian point of view, it’s definitely wrong, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad for _you_.” She reasoned, “He appears to only wish to protect Ionia.”

Irelia was shaking her head. “But his protection of this land requires destroying everything we hold sacred and rebuilding it anew with _hatred_ in our hearts. He wants us to follow what we understand as the Noxian example and for Ionia to turn into a new, rising, conqueror’s empire.” She was _glaring_ at the fire, “I _can’t_ let that happen. That’s not how these lands were built nor how these lands have prospered and that’s definitely _not_ how they will be. We are an _example_ of harmony and we shall keep being so.” She looked at Riven with _anger_ but one that was not aimed at her but at the man inside her head, “We are powerful in our element without losing our pacific ways. We will improve our military since it’s necessary, sure, but that doesn’t mean we’ve got to fall into darkness to do so. I will _not_ allow it.”

And she sounded so final in her decision, like this was something she had been thinking about for a while, even if she felt _disgusted_ by the mere idea…

It was a far more final decision than the ones she had done regarding Riven at _any_ given moment in time.

It meant this was _bad._ Very, _very_ bad and Irelia didn’t like it _one bit._

“I see,” Riven finally said, and she did so because she could totally understand Irelia’s point: Zed wanted to destroy Ionian culture and build a cruel one in its’ place, following _what they understand as the Noxian example._

Because Irelia now believes _Riven_ is the Noxian example, everything else that could be it being just a darker side of it that the former Hand of Noxus lacked.

Noxus itself not being an example of their ways, but a lame attempt at pretending so.

It made Riven’s chest swell with something, to know Irelia’s views on something as _sensitive_ as that had changed.

And all because of her and _only_ her.

_If I managed to make her change her mind…. Maybe being a Noxian in this scenario isn’t that bad, after all._

The point remained that the Order of Shadows wanted to do something that seemed to imply overthrowing Irelia’s temporary government and, knowing what Noxus was and what Ionians _believed_ it was, it also implied bloodbaths, pain, suffering, destruction, possibly slavery and public executions.

It meant damning the balance, forever.

And there was nothing Ionians took better care of than the balance of their lives.

Riven had always somewhat admired it, even as the most revered Noxian, in her past.

So she could understand and even _back_ Irelia’s point of view on it.

“And won’t the Kinkou Order take care of such a matter?” She asked, “Because this seems to be their responsibility, considering this is a former member of theirs.”

Irelia groaned, “That’s the worst part: what Akali was telling me is that, apparently, the Kinkou Order and the Order of Shadows have ceased their animosities, managing to create some pact or whatever between them where they stated they would not interfere in the other’s plans.” She looked _helpless,_ “They reached _peace,_ so now there’s almost _nothing_ to stop the Order of Shadows from doing as they please.”

Riven grimaced. “The Kinkou Order sounds like it’s composed of idiots.”

“In my book, they’re worse than the Order of Shadows for daring a sort of alliance with them.” If looks could kill, Riven was positive she would be _dead._ “They took in someone who was not fit for that kind of life and then let the _mistake_ wander around, with deadly knowledge and weapons. They can go to Hell for that, those useless pieces of scum.” She looked at the fire again, before mumbling, “ _We care about keeping Ionia balanced_ my ass.”

Riven was amazed at how freely Irelia expressed herself in front of her, a thing that definitely did not happen before. “Without them in the game, who else is there to face them?”

“Me, Akali, if my guess based on her helping me is correct, because you never know with her, the Vastayans…” She shook her head, “No one is happy with the Order of Shadows, but everyone is too terrified of them to do something about it, so there’s only a few of us who dare.”

“The really brave ones.”

Irelia nodded her head, “Or the insane ones, but it doesn’t really matter at this point.”

Only one question remained.

“And _why_ does this Zed man want to militarize Ionia’s magic? What prompted him to do it?”

And Irelia looked _pained_ to say it, as if she didn’t want Riven to take any blame about it when she spilled, “Because he wants to take revenge on Noxus for their invasions.” She looked _sorry_ about telling her, “During the first one, he created the Order with the intention of kicking them out, which he _could_ thank me for, since _I_ did all the work, and then, instead of being dismantled, he just turned it into something _worse_ and now he wants _justice,”_ She looked _annoyed_ at the concept, as if this man was delusional for daring veil his motives behind the concept of justice, “So he wants to invade Noxus. An eye for an eye…”

“And the world goes blind.” Riven finished, though her mind was somewhere else, lost between Irelia’s words. “ _First one?”_ She echoed, “Are you telling me Noxus invaded Ionia again after _my_ invasion?”

She had _no clue_ how she was able to mention it so freely, how she could feel nothing about it, as if they were talking about the weather, how guilt had not come for her soul.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that she was talking to Irelia, of all people.

_Someone who understands._

_The only one who does, at least, at this level._

Irelia was frowning at her, “No, there was one _before_ yours.” She said, “Didn’t you know?”

Riven shook her head, completely blown by this information.

Irelia sat up again, her eyes on Riven. “Some years before you came, Noxus attempted their first invasion. It was far more successful than yours, for they even occupied the country for a while. I was maybe thirteen, I can’t remember well,” She said, shaking her head. “But I remember how they took us from our home, my family and I, I mean.” She explained, “It’s a very long story, but they remained in the country for a long time, before a rebellion forced them out.”

“And you were at the front of this rebellion?” Riven asked, watching Irelia hesitate.

“Not… _exactly.”_ She started, “I mean, _yes,_ but at the moment I believe nobody knew who I was.”

She laid back down once more, her eyes on the ceiling. “Some important Noxian tried to take the Lito crest from our house and I tried to stop him, so he crushed it on the ground and broke it.” She explained to a _Noxian,_ curiously enough, “I could only look at them on the ground and feel sorrow, but then I felt them _tugging_ at my soul, I don’t even know how to explain it.” She shook her head, as if Riven could see the faint movement from her position, “So I followed my gut and moved, danced in the way my grandmother taught me and then the crest took flight into the air.”

Riven realized then that this story Irelia was telling her was the origin of her _blades._

It was both impressive and sad, she decided, for she had never asked but she had always questioned where those blades had come from.

“I didn’t think as I moved, I just did it,” She heard Irelia continue, “And in my dancing, I took that man’s arm out, leaving him out of the fight, ready to die.” She frowned at the ceiling, “I knew then what I had to do and I fought my way through a whole Noxian battalion. Apparently, doing something so unexpectedly efficient, like dancing in the middle of a fight, is bound to leave your opponent confused.”

“Well, it’s counterintuitive,” Riven offered, “You manage to excel at fighting by doing something that, naturally, should get you killed on a fight.”

Only one of her own kind existing in the world.

Riven decided she was grateful it was that way, for it meant nobody knew how to deal with her, so there was no way she would have lost against Noxus that one time.

She was _glad_ Irelia hadn’t lost against Noxus.

_Because losing against Noxus means death._

“Eventually, people joined me in the fight and _that’s_ how we kicked Noxus out: by sticking together and fighting side by side, balance being restored.” She finished explaining. “By the second invasion, we were far more prepared.”

Riven raised her brows.

_Wouldn’t I know._

“But the point remains that we’ve kicked Noxus out _twice_ without the need to fall into what Zed wants us to.” She finished, “So he will get what he wants over my cold, dead body.”

“Hopefully we won’t reach that point.” Riven blurted out.

Irelia moved her head around enough to get a visual on Riven, “ _We?”_

Riven shrugged, hiding her nervousness at being caught with a slip of the tongue. “Well, yeah. I’m a Captain too, right? It means I must follow you, wherever you go.”

Irelia smiled.

Riven fought the sigh of relief that wanted to escape her.

_Nice save._

And before the silence could get too long, “I’m sorry about it all, Irelia.” She started, ignoring the feeling of the Captain’s eyes on her. “I’m sorry about the first invasion and I’m _definitely_ sorry about the second one.”

Irelia shrugged, “You were just doing what was right for you in that moment—”

“I’m sorry that we were placed in opposite teams,” She continued, cutting her off but kind of replying to her statement. “I’m sorry we had to fight _each other_ and not _together._ I’m sorry about all of the repercussions, the pain, the hard work and the stress that the Noxian invasions have caused you and your country.”

 _Noxian_ invasions and not _our_ invasions, for she was not a part of them anymore.

She wasn’t a part of anything, anywhere, really.

_Not even Targon at this point._

“I’m sorry about it all, Irelia.” She finished, repeating herself. “I’m truly sorry.”

And it was the most heartfelt thing she had said to the Captain, ever.

Maybe the most heartfelt thing she had ever said.

Her soul felt like a burden had been lifted, one that had been there for a long time.

_Maybe this is what I’ve been looking for, ever since waking up in that battlefield._

_The chance to apologize, forgiveness itself not that essential, but the_ chance _to admit to my guilt._

It felt good.

She wasn’t aware of Irelia moving from her spot until she felt the Ionian’s hand on her shoulder, the woman crouching so as to come face to face with the Noxian, who was looking down.

There was a softer kind of smile on Irelia’s face. “I want you to know that I will not allow you to repent and ask for forgiveness.”

_Well, there it goes, my chance at being pardoned._

“I won’t,” Irelia continued, “Because if it hadn’t been for that war, I would have never come face to face with you, a moment in time essential for the Rakkor, as you must know, and for us to meet here.” She stood tall, then, “And I definitely won’t accept you shunning Noxus. It made you who you are today and I would _definitely_ not like you if you were any different.”

Riven wanted to say _Many things happened that formed the woman I am today,_ because it wasn’t all Noxus.

Instead, she said, “You like me?”

And had she ever seen Irelia blush before? Had she ever seen Irelia being caught in one of her slips?

She wasn’t sure whether this was a first or if she was imagining it, but she took pride in hearing Irelia say, “Maybe.”

And a _maybe_ was _enough._

More than enough for her.

She watched as Irelia took a seat on her armrest, instead of going back to her own sofa.

And suddenly she remembered something she had locked somewhere inside her head, for she didn’t know what she could ever do with that information.

She remembered it because maybe now was the time to say it out loud.

“Irelia,” She started, hearing the Captain hum next to her. “About the whole _Revenge against Noxus_ thing…”

“Yes?” She sounded a bit wary about where this was going.

“Would _you_ be interested in partaking on it?”

Irelia didn’t even think her answer. “At this point, I just wish Ionia doesn’t get involved in anything that has Noxus in it. We’ve had _enough_ of that and it’s time to let it go.”

“What about justice, then?” She looked at Irelia, “Real justice.”

She was curious enough, “What are you talking about here, Riven?”

“I’m talking about forcing a criminal to face his wrongdoings and meet whatever fate he must deal with.”

Irelia was frowning, rather confused about where Riven was going to with it.

So Riven continued, “That night, the arrow that caused the explosion…” She saw Irelia’s eyes widen a bit, not in surprise but in expectation, “I know who shot it.”

She took a deep breath before adding the end of that sentence.

“And he’s still alive.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the tardiness, but life got HARD.
> 
> Get ready for the next chapter bc THIS is the chapter in which I introduce the main CONFLICT for this fic.
> 
> As in, this is where it starts to get good.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!


	14. Things Which Have Never Yet Been Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Irelia reacts to Riven's revelation.

_ And he’s still alive. _

The statement echoed inside her head, bouncing from one of her skull’s walls to the other, freezing her in place, her wide blue eyes on Riven’s red ones yet unfocused, as if she was not seeing the other woman at all.

She had never thought about it:  _ where  _ the arrow came from,  _ who  _ did it and  _ why,  _ and whether this person was still alive up to this day or not.

She had never really thought about it, because it had been easier to just blame it all on Riven: hold a grudge, then bury the hatchet by quietly —and slowly —forgiving her without even letting her know so, claiming that the woman was as much a victim of her circumstances as she had been.

But she had never really put too much thought into the circumstances beyond what was basic and required.

The silence stretched as Riven allowed Irelia to process the information. Slowly, Irelia walked again to her sofa, turning it to fully face Riven before taking a seat, her elbows on her knees, her hands on her face.

She was still  _ thinking. _

“I need you to rewind a bit and give me a detailed explanation.”

Riven stared at Irelia, who wasn’t looking at her, a frown on her features, half of her face hidden behind her hands.

She steeled herself and began. “What do you know about the Crimson Elite? And I mean  _ all  _ you know about it.”

_ It.  _ Not  _ us. _

She didn’t really feel a part of it anymore.

It was liberating.

Strange, too.

Irelia’s eyes moved towards her, the rest of the Captain ever so still. “That you were their leader and that they were the Noxians I fought during the second Noxian invasion.”

Riven nodded her head. “Very well. Not much, then.” She mirrored Irelia’s position, “The Crimson Elite was composed of five people, me included amongst them.”

“I only remember three other people with you that night.”

Riven nodded, noticing just how quickly Irelia was following her. “The fourth being me, the fifth member not present on the battlefield. I don’t know if you remember what they wielded—”

“You, a broadsword.” She cut her off, fingers rising as she counted. “A woman with a whip—”

“Aryana.” Riven completed the information with the name, sadness on her features.

“A man with a trident—”

“Lucas.”

“And another woman…” Irelia frowned, “Unarmed?”

“A pyromancer.” She grimaced, “The rain sentenced her to death, that night. Leah.”

Irelia nodded her head. “I see. Okay, that’s all I know.”

She was all business in a way Riven hadn’t witnessed before.

“Right. Well,” She prepared herself to say it, “The fifth member’s name is Cyrus. He’s an archer.”

She stared at Irelia, who merely stared back, and wondered whether she was analyzing her words, the fact that she had used present tense, the weight of stating that he was an  _ archer. _

Ignoring her own thoughts, Riven continued. “The Crimson Elite had been commanded to try and get into Ionia through a sort of back door—”

“The sewers.” It was Irelia’s turn to complete Riven’s sentences, the woman patiently waiting for her to finish her recounting of the events, but at the same time eager to get to the point.

Riven nodded her head. “We were meant to get into Ionia through the sewers, escorting a wagon that contained amphorae, but what was in the amphorae remained a mystery.” Riven explained. “No one told me.”

“Whatever it was, it was explosive.”

“That’s all we know.” Riven said, “We called this wagon the  _ Zaunite Unit,  _ because it was all the product of a Zaunite scientist.”

Irelia’s frown deepened. “Name?” She asked, leaning forwards, realizing that, perhaps, she needed to add a bit more of context, “Do you remember—”

“Singed.” Riven replied. “Tall man, rather lanky, bald, half of his face covered, deep and monotone voice, one eye brown and the other one green, even the white of it is green.”

Irelia nodded her head, silently noting she was talking to someone who was her opposite, yet her equal in so many things.

She didn’t need to explain anything to her.

She took a mental note of the fact that this man had a  _ green  _ eye, too.

“Singed was the man who created whatever we were escorting,” Riven explained. “And as soon as he saw Cyrus, he commanded him to stay back as our escorting group’s reinforcements: he’d shoot from far enough that he’d be out of the battlefield, but he’d be able to aid somehow.”

“An outsider commanded the Crimson Elite to do as he pleased?” Irelia questioned, not liking it one bit. “And your man Cyrus did as he said?”

Riven nodded, “I told him to.”

Irelia hummed, but remained quiet.

So Riven continued. “The arrow that finished it all that night…” She trailed off, sighing. “It came from our side: I saw it. Maybe I couldn’t see Cyrus shooting it, but I have no doubt about it.”

“He shot a flaming arrow that,  _ somehow,  _ managed  _ not  _ to be quelled under the rain.” Irelia mused out loud.

And Riven realized it was the first time she ever even  _ noticed  _ that.

She had never thought about it.

“Yeah, he did.”

“And if he shot a  _ flaming  _ arrow, it means he  _ knew  _ what was in that wagon and how it would  _ explode. _ ” Irelia reasoned.

And Riven felt devastated.

Truth be told, she had always expected to, maybe, after a lot of investigating, find out that Cyrus was alive, yes, but  _ innocent. _

Irelia had just debunked such hopes with only two sentences, two thoughts that had apparently come to her in a second.

In just a second, she had already discovered more than her in…

...Well, in a lifetime.

Riven felt devastated  _ and  _ stupid.

But she had grown used to feeling like that a long time ago.

“Yes.” She finally said.

Irelia was still frowning, her eyes lost as she thought about it all.

“So the explosion was on purpose and Cyrus is the main suspect, along with a Zaunite scientist named Singed.”

Riven nodded. “Yes.”

Irelia looked at Riven, then, her eyes cold as the Freljord, “Where is he.”

She wasn’t asking.

Riven was pained to say, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

Riven shook her head.

So Irelia laid back on her sofa.

Silence stretched.

This time, it was tense.

Very tense.

Riven did not like it at all.

“Okay,” Irelia finally said, her eyes calmer as she stood up.

Riven followed her moving frame with her eyes. “Okay?”

Irelia nodded, her back to Riven as she reached her desk. “Okay.”

Riven stood up and moved towards her, “But aren’t we going to do something—”

“ _ Do something about it?”  _ Irelia finished for her, turning to look at her.

Riven froze at the death glare Irelia sported.

“What will we do about it, Riven?” Irelia asked, the friendliness gone, an aggressive tone she had never heard the Captain use being present in her voice. “What will we do about a  _ possible  _ criminal who’s location we do not know anything about?” She was losing her mind, “What will we do about your little friend  _ Cyrus,  _ if we don’t know  _ anything about where he is?!” _

Riven remained quiet for a second, closing her eyes.

It was hard to get defensive with Irelia, specially after knowing her.

But it was hard not to feel a certain way at how she had risen her voice.

“Please, don’t talk to me like that.”

Irelia stared at Riven for a second, somewhat thrown for a loop at the tone Riven had used, so quiet and…

And  _ pleading. _

She didn’t want to start a fight with Irelia, for whatever reason that was.

So Irelia took a deep breath and, for the first time in one of her disagreements with Riven, obliged.

She brought down her fury with the slow inhaling and the long exhales. “I just don’t think there’s something we can do, considering we don’t know anything about his whereabouts.”

It was as close to a  _ sorry  _ that Riven would ever get from her.

She accepted it as it was.

And Riven knew that what Irelia said wasn’t exactly right: there  _ was  _ something they could do, even if it  _ complicated  _ things a bit.

Even if it meant making some sacrifices.

“Have you always known?” The question brought Riven out of her trance, her red eyes locked on the blue ones in front of her. “About him being alive. Have you always known?”

Riven frowned, shaking her head no. “I don’t know why but I’ve always considered him to be dead, too.”

“Then how did you find out he wasn’t?”

“Darius told me, during the last battle of Ionia.”

Irelia’s eyes widened a bit. “Darius? The Hand of Noxus?”

Riven nodded, a grimace on her face. “It feels so weird, to have him  _ actually  _ be the Hand.”

“Why?”

“He used to be my apprentice.”

“Oh. Yeah, I can see why it would be weird.”

“He’s the new me.”

Irelia shook her head. “You’ve got to stop pretending there’s still anything Noxian in you. Whatever that Riven was, she’s dead and long gone.”

And she knew Irelia was right, and she knew it wasn’t the point, it wasn’t what they had to talk about, the topic in question.

But she couldn’t leave it alone.

“How do you know that?”

It was wild, to see Irelia go from pure rage to the hint of a smirk, a raised brow as she said, “Because I’ve gotten to know you and the woman who was on that battlefield is clearly dead.”

Riven stared at her for a second.

She liked hearing the other woman prove that she knew her better than before, time after time.

Riven also knew that the teenager Irelia had once been died in that battlefield, too.

After all, that version of her could have never grown as close to a Noxian as she was.

She decided not to mention it for a while, though.

A beat.

“But why would Darius tell you that?”

Riven looked at her with a frown. “What do you mean?”

Irelia took a seat on her desk’s chair, a hand on her chin with a frown on her face. “Considering your status as a self-imposed Exiled, you’re a traitor to Noxus. Telling you something that  _ might  _ make you go after a Noxian is considered treason, therefore Darius basically committed treason.” She looked at Riven, “Why would he do that?”

Riven moved to the side of Irelia’s desk and took a seat on it, moving the papers away from her and frowning deeply. “I don’t know, really. I guess he did it for old times’ sake.”

“Because he was your apprentice?” Irelia scoffed. “Riven,  _ you  _ of all people should know that’s not enough to make a Noxian betray Noxus. His loyalty remains with  _ Noxus,  _ not with  _ you.” _

“I don’t know,” She replied, her eyes on the floor, “My squadron didn’t hold as much loyalty to Noxus as they held to me.”

“If you had tried to protect me from them, that night.” Irelia started, red eyes darting to her, “What would they have done?”

Riven frowned, “Well—”

“Would they have backed you up?”

“No.”

“What would they have done, then?”

“They would have questioned it.” Riven said, then her frown deepened as she said, “And they wouldn’t have joined me, unless they found a good reason why I would be fighting with you… And it would have to be a  _ very  _ good reason.”

“And what would be the alternative to that?”

“What do you mean—”

“What would they have done, had they not joined you?” Irelia quickly replied, leaning forwards on her chair.

And Riven sighed. “They would have executed me.”

So Irelia nodded her head. “I see.” She said, leaning back again. “So there’s literally no way to explain Darius’ motives.”

Riven was frowning when she said, “Not really.”

And silence reigned over them again.

Irelia just contemplating the situation.

Riven, confused in a way she had never been before.

_ Why would Darius betray Noxus? _

There was only one way to find out.

_ Ask Darius his motives. _

And only way to ask him.

But was she willing to make  _ that  _ sacrifice?

“Irelia,” Riven said, turning to face the Captain fully, a focused expression on her face. “If you had the chance to do something about that night, what would you do?”

Irelia shook her head, like what she was asking was stupid. “I would prevent it—”

“I’m not asking you that and you know it,” Riven cut her off, a certain urgency to her tone. “ _ Today,  _ if you could do something  _ today,  _ what would you do?”

Irelia was getting heated again, “Riven—”

“Would you do something or leave it be?” She cut her off again, desperate for an answer instead of a dodge.

Irelia breathed deep, “I don’t know.”

_ “Irelia—” _

“ _ I don’t know,  _ Riven!” She lashed out as she stood up, not being able to handle the pressure, “I don’t know!” She sat down again, “I don’t know,” She repeated, calming down, taking a minute to think. “But I wouldn’t leave it alone. I don’t think I’d be able to leave it be, if I could do something about it.”

Riven nodded her head, “Do you think it would bring a certain peace of mind to Ionia?” She asked, weighing something in her head. “Having Cyrus dead, I mean. Would it help with the Order of Shadows and all that?”

Irelia shook her head. “Revenge on Noxus is just a stupid excuse to justify their actions.” A beat. Then, “But it would bring peace of mind to  _ me.” _

“To you?”

“You weren’t the only one who lost friends that night, you know?” Irelia said, “And you already know you’re not the only one who sees them.”

Ghosts.

Riven nodded.

“Okay,” She said, slowly making her way to her door, hearing Irelia get up.

“Where are you going?”

Riven reached the door. “To my bedroom.” She got out of the room, “Goodnight.”

She had a lot of thinking to do.

And she’d rather not have Irelia knowing about it until she had reached a conclusion.

Even if, deep inside, she knew such a conclusion had already been reached.

* * *

 

Irelia felt  _ weird. _

Well, not on her own, though.

She felt weird about  _ Riven. _

It didn’t take her too long to notice the Noxian was not putting any effort into their training.

None, not even a bit, not at all.

She would dodge, she would parry, but she wouldn’t fight back, her eyes on her own but unfocused, her steps slow and her timing just a hair’s breadth wrong.

She was _off,_ not even trying to actually _be there_ mentally, in the training with her.

“Is everything okay?” She had tried asking, but whenever she did, Riven would just—

“Yeah, yeah,” She said, nodding her head vigorously, “I’m fine.”

And she really  _ was  _ fine, but…

But she wasn’t there, in a way.

No green eyes, nothing of the sorts. It was still Riven.

Her mind was on another plane, though.

She was distracted.

And the distraction seemed to last for days, for their sparring sessions remained suboptimal for a time lapse.

And Irelia had tried  _ everything _ .

She had tried being  _ rougher,  _ she had tried being more  _ strict,  _ she had tried being  _ gentler  _ and letting the woman have more  _ freedom,  _ even offering her to train with the rest instead of with her, though she silently hoped she would not accept the offer.

She actually sighed with relief when Riven shook her head and refused.

_ But then what’s your problem? _

What Irelia failed to understand was the connection between Riven’s spacing out and their last private conversation.

Riven was thinking about it.

Because she knew what she could do.

She could waltz into Noxus and demand answers. As far as they knew, she was  _ dead,  _ not a traitor.

But then again,  _ as far as they knew, she was dead.  _ Showing up in Noxus meant giving up her diplomatic immunity, product of their belief that she had not made it out alive.

And that rose up another question: had Darius told them she still  _ lived? _

It all made her feel bad, to say the least.

Truth was, she had never even considered going back to Noxus. She would have rather died —or, even worse for her, live with her demons —than go back to Noxus, prove she was alive, face whatever consequences that would bring.

She would do anything  _ but  _ that, but…

She sighed.

_ But it would bring Irelia peace of mind. _

And hadn’t she said, some time ago, that peace of mind was the most important thing in life?

Hadn’t she said she had come to Ionia only to find her  _ own? _

And maybe, to find her peace of mind, she had to help Irelia find her own, first.

_ Means to an end, and all that. _

Truth be told, she knew she had made up her mind the moment Irelia had answered her final question, that night in her office.

She just needed to come to terms with it.

She needed to prepare to face it: first inside her head, then in her reality.

Because she knew that once she made her decision, it was  _ final,  _ and it was  _ happening. _

So she whispered it, one morning, into the silence in her room, “I’m going back to Noxus.”

And she kept repeating it like a mantra inside her head as she went through her morning routine.

Get out of bed,  _ I’m going back to Noxus. _

Wash her face,  _ I’m going back to Noxus. _

Get dressed,  _ I’m going back to Noxus. _

Walk out of her room and towards the training camps,  _ I’m going back to Noxus. _

Find Irelia, all alone, already waiting for her,  _ I’m going back to Noxus. _

Grab her hand and silently guide her to her office, ignoring the woman’s questions,  _ I’m going back to Noxus. _

Politely ask her to sit down on her chair, then doing the same on the other side of the desk, “There’s a way to find Cyrus.”

Irelia stared at her. “Okay,” She said, warily, “Tell me.”

And Riven was bold enough to be serious when she said, “We must go to Noxus and ask for his head.”

Silence.

Long silence.

Then Irelia lost her composure and  _ bursted out laughing. _

Riven couldn’t believe it, but there were literal  _ tears  _ on her face.

So she just stared at her, a bit confused until she just couldn’t take it anymore and, “What are you laughing about?”

She kept laughing for a moment, then tried to reign in on it enough to let out a, “Riven, come on,  _ go to Noxus?” _

Riven remained serious.

It was only then that Irelia noticed she was  _ dead  _ serious.

“Oh, you really meant it?”

Riven nodded her head.

Irelia  _ stopped,  _ then. “Oh. Well,” She wiped a tear off her face, “We can’t really do that, you know that, right?”

Riven nodded, “But we can. You see, they believe I’m  _ dead.”  _ She shifted on her seat, “If I were to go back to Noxus right now, I’d be the Hand of Noxus. As my personal guest, you’d have diplomatic immunity, at least until Darkwill sees you.”

Irelia frowned. How long had it been, since Riven last kept up with Noxian news?

Not that she was that well versed on it either, of course, considering she had been too busy with Ionian news already, but how much of a chance was there that something vital enough had changed and this was all a  _ very  _ bad idea?

“And besides,” Riven started again, “I’ve heard Noxus has pulled their warbands back to the empire, so it means they’re not looking for trouble yet, even if it’s a weird move for Darkwill to pull.” She shrugged, “I’m sure we’ll be fine—”

“We don’t have to do that.” Irelia cut her off, shaking her head.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not necessary.”

“Not necessary?”

There had been a certain alarm to her tone, so Irelia regarded her warily.

Riven wasn’t exactly pissed off, but there was an electricity to her. She sighed at first, hoping not to lose her wits, before finally saying, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’ve given me too much to think about.” She huffed a laugh, “I haven’t even been paying attention to you all week and that’s all I usually do.”

And she allowed that  _ electricity  _ to help her disregard what she had just given the Ionian so freely.

“Irelia, we  _ must  _ go.” She shook her head, “It’s not a matter we can simply let be. We must go to Noxus and demand they give us this war criminal’s head or, at least, his whereabouts.”

She stared at Riven for a hard second.

The Noxian had stood up at some point without even noticing, her hands on the wooden desk, her eyes intently locked on Irelia’s.

She seemed to—

“Do you really want to do this, Riven?” Irelia asked her, voicing her thoughts. “To go back to Noxus?”

Riven shook her head, “It’s not about wanting it, but in any case, I don’t care about going back to Noxus: it means nothing to me.” She looked down to her hands, “I will not like it and I will probably hate myself  _ every  _ second of the way there, of our stay there, of our way back home, but I think it’s necessary. I must go,” She looked at Irelia and corrected herself, “ _ We  _ must go. You and I,” She waved a finger between them, “We’re a team, you and I.” She said, frowning as if she were trying the words out, then nodding her head, “Yes.” She agreed with her own statement, “And as a team, it means I’ve got to help you reach that peace of mind. It’s the least I can do.”

Irelia just then realized that this whole mess was about letting her sleep at night.

Only that.

Irelia’s brows rose, “Riven, we really don’t have to—”

“Except we do,” Riven cut her off gently, her eyes locked on Irelia’s, “Irelia, I…” She sighed, finally sitting down again.

Where should she start?

“I’m a mess.”

Hadn’t she said that, many moons ago?

She would have laughed.

“I’m a mess and that’s the only thing I’m really certain about.” Riven reasoned, “My mind is…”

Was she willing to tell Irelia  _ something  _ about her mind?

It was dangerous territory.

She closed her eyes.

“My mind is a maze.” She said, daring for once. “I walk around a labyrinth, every day, without ever knowing how to navigate it. Certainties are the only help I ever get, so I gather as many certainties as I can and I fight with all my might to stick to them.” She opened her eyes, “When I arrived in Ionia, I got a few of them and I stuck with them: Orlon being a mage and my only friend, Sao being by my side and Ban being against me, Zeylos being an absolute bastard…” She smirked, “You being a mystery.”

She sighed, “At first, you were  _ infuriating,  _ Irelia.” She said, leaning back on her chair and letting her eyes go up to the ceiling, “While the things I know as true help me navigate my maze and not get lost in the darkness, you only changed the map.” She allowed her head to fall to a side so that she could look at Irelia, “Don’t take it the wrong way, you kept the game interesting, but it was definitely infuriating, to have the ground taken away from under my feet.”

She leaned forwards, placing her forearms on the desk, eyes on her hands. “But then I got to know you and suddenly you didn’t change the maps anymore.” She looked at Irelia, “It’s weird, because I think I’ve never felt this happen before, but it was almost as if you were just…” She shrugged, “I don’t know, walking around the maze with me and…” She groaned, feeling  _ stupid  _ by mentioning it, “And suddenly I didn’t need certainties nor to fear getting lost.”

She sighed, “So that’s why this means a lot to me, you know?” She shook her head, “You might say you don’t need it, but I don’t care whether you need it or not. I  _ want  _ to give this to you: A chance to put these souls that wander around our heads to sleep, finally rest in peace, their butcher brought to justice.”

And Irelia froze when she saw Riven get up from her chair, reach out to her and grab her by her hands, before sitting back, still holding them tightly.

“If not for you, if not for  _ us,  _ then for them.” There was a brave determination in her eyes, unlike anything that had ever shone in there, “For them to finally find their  _ own  _ peace in their afterlife. For us to finally go on about our lives in this one with a little bit of it, too. For him to get what he deserves, whatever that is.”

Irelia looked at her, analyzed her feline features for a moment.

She turned their hands around and grabbed Riven’s. “Don’t think I don’t know this is about you searching for redemption, Riven.”

It caught the Noxian off guard.

“Ever since arriving here, I’ve known your motives.” She shook her head. “You want me to forgive you for that night. What you don’t understand, dear, is that I’ve already done that,” She emphasized her words by squeezing the Noxian’s bandaged hands, “I’ve let go of it, it’s in the past, buried and done with. You’re a new person, I’m a new person, we can be new together. We don’t have to delve in it. Judging by that time you came here with Diana, you wanted me to choose your fate: either bring you justice or grant you redemption and I’ve already  _ chosen,  _ Riven,” She smiled, “I’ve chosen your redemption.” She shook her head, “We don’t have to chase the ghosts, even if they chase us every night.”

She sighed, her eyes landing on Riven’s hands, “Who knows, maybe none of this actually matters and they will still find us, every time we walk into the shadows.” She eyed Riven, “Your maze is  _ really  _ dark and we  _ really  _ should turn on some lights,” She commented, earning a chuckle from the Noxian. “But I think it’s not fair for you, the fact that you do all of this for me and I’ve done nothing but confuse you ever since you arrived.” She frowned, “And that you’re  _ willing  _ to do  _ so much  _ for me and I’m here just… doing nothing.”

“I wouldn’t say—”

A pointed look was enough to make Riven shut up.

“What I’m trying to say here is that I think that you  _ need  _ to go back to Noxus. Not because of Cyrus, but because of Darius. I think there’s a few loose threads that you need to tie.” She smirked, “This all comes back to  _ closure  _ as our main topic.”

Then Irelia sighed, “So I know,  _ I know  _ I will regret this, but I will oblige.” She stood up and slowly guided Riven to the door. “Go back to your room and sleep, now. I’ve got matters to attend to.”

Riven was a bit confused. “I don’t really get it…”

Irelia looked at her with a raised brow. “Besides the probably  _ thousands  _ of forms I will have to fill in about this little trip, it will take  _ a lot  _ of effort to find  _ one  _ sailor willing to take us to  _ Noxus,  _ of all places, so my advice is that you get all the rest you need  _ now _ , because you will be helping me with the paperwork and  _ absolutely every need  _ this escapade demands, starting tomorrow.”

She gently pushed Riven outside and, as she closed the door, she said, “Sleep! It’s an order.”

And then the door closed on her face.

Riven was frozen and she blinked one, two, three times before it finally registered on her brain.

She didn’t know how to feel, whether to smile or cry.

But it was alright.

After all, her biggest question had been answered, her biggest fear up and gone.

_ She chose redemption. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this one was faster, wasn't it?
> 
> Remember folks, Comments make the writer happy and a happy writer writes at the speed of light!
> 
> xoxo gossip girl


	15. Scarred By Many Past Frustrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Irelia prepares it all for Riven to set sail.

She woke up to a few gentle slaps on her face and she already felt like going back to sleep.

“Come on, Riven,” She heard  _ Irelia’s voice?  _ Telling her, “You can sleep when you’re dead. As far as I know. you’re not dead yet.”

Riven opened her eyes, squinting at how much light there was in her room, as Irelia opened the curtains. “I swear I  _ just  _ managed to fall asleep.”

“Well,  _ I didn’t even sleep,”  _ Irelia answered with a raised brow, “So consider yourself lucky to have had at least five minutes.” She clapped her hands together, painfully loudly. “Up!” She said, moving towards the bed and grabbing the covers—

Riven quickly incorporated, hugging the blankets to her chest, “ _ I’m naked!”  _ She squealed out as a quick explanation.

Irelia froze.

She looked at Riven.

There was a crimson hue to her cheeks, despite the composure the Ionian Captain seemed to always sport.

“You sleep  _ naked?” _

Riven could  _ feel  _ her own face heating up as she nodded her head and let out a choked, “Yes.”

Irelia let go of the covers. “Okay.” She said, standing up tall again. “Well, I’ll,” She cleared her throat, “I’ll wait outside.” She moved towards the door, “Hurry up!” She added, before leaving the room and closing the door.

And Riven let out a breath she had been holding, in fear of being laid bare in front of her  _ Captain. _

* * *

 

Irelia waited outside, eyes wide as she stared at the ground.

_ Sleep naked, what the Hell is wrong with her? _

She wanted the Earth to open up below her feet and swallow her whole.

_ Wake her up like that, what the Hell is wrong with you? _

To say she was nervous was an understatement: she could feel her heart pounding in her chest, but it was due to all the wrong reasons, too.

_ Going to Noxus? What the Hell was I thinking? _

She wondered if she would stop asking herself questions regarding her stupid choices. She doubted it.

Irelia regretted it, already, well aware that it was a bad decision, but—

She sighed.

But she had already said  _ yes. _

And the excitement in Riven’s eyes, when she accepted…

Could she back down, now?

_ Not really. _

_ But where there had been excitement, there has also been  _ fear.

Pure, unadulterated fear.

_ And diplomatic immunity? Really? _

Was Riven stupid enough to believe they would actually grant her that?

_ Apparently, yes. _

She sighed once more.

She was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

And as she thought about it, Irelia’s hard place almost vanished from behind her as Riven opened the door, forcing her to quickly move away.

Riven grimaced when she saw Irelia looking at her with wide eyes, “I’m sorry,” She was quick to apologize, “I wasn’t expecting you to be laying against it.” She offered, before coming out of the room and closing the door behind her.

“It’s alright,” Irelia mumbled, her eyes roaming the Noxian.

She was wearing that Targonian armor…

...And she had her sword wielded to her side.

She tried her best  _ not  _ to glare at it.

“I must admit it’s kind of hard to wrap my head around the fact that this is happening,” Riven said, her hand rubbing at some spot on the back of her neck, an uncomfortable smirk on her lips, “For a moment, when you said  _ I needed  _ to go to Noxus, I thought you meant that I would go alone.”

Irelia’s eyes widened a bit, “Oh.”

And the first place her mind went was,  _ I didn’t know she wanted to go alone. _

It hurt to think it, but she could live with it.

Truth be told, it would be far easier for her to stay.

So she gritted her teeth and obliged.

“Okay, then.” Irelia said, nodding her head. “I will get the ship for the trip, you should warn both Sato Captains of your departure.” She turned and left, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll come and find you once it’s all sorted.”

And Riven watched her go for a second, a bit confused.

Was she not leaving alone? Was she going to travel with her?

She shook her head and shrugged it off, before leaving for the training camps.

She would act nonchalant about being alone if she had to.

* * *

 

_ Going with her, what the  _ Hell  _ were you thinking?! _

Irelia’s head was a  _ mess,  _ to say the least.

_ She’s a  _ Noxian.  _ Of course she wants to go alone. _

She stopped walking, because her head produced the thought;  _ A Noxian returning to Noxus,  _ alone.

Unsupervised.

She felt dread inside her heart.

Was Riven trying to leave Ionia?

Was she trying to go back to Noxus for something else than this stupid little  _ suicide mission  _ of hers?

_ Would she betray me? _

_ Me,  _ not  _ Ionia,  _ because Irelia could subconsciously admit to herself —only amidst the heart-stopping fear that she felt at the moment —that she didn’t care about what Riven did regarding  _ Ionia  _ as much as she cared about what she did regarding  _ her. _

 

“Don’t be fucking stupid,” She had to force herself to say between gritted teeth because hadn’t she said that she knew this Riven? That there was nothing Noxian in her, anymore? That she was better?

But when the fears and insecurities started to crawl their way towards her, it proved hard to keep it all in check.

And then their deadly voice started and  _ oh,  _ how they whispered in her brain.

_ Maybe you had been wrong to trust. _

_ Maybe she hadn’t changed at all. _

_ Maybe it was all a ruse. _

_ Maybe you are betraying Ionia by having faith in a Noxian. _

And she hated, she really despised how those voices got to her every time, being able to always get through.

She shut her eyes and gritted her teeth, “I’m not wrong in trusting her,” She growled at herself, knowing it would have to be her newfound religion, to trust blindly in a former enemy, if she wanted to defeat the voices inside her brain.

_ I’m not wrong in trusting her. _

_ But you are. _

_ I’m not wrong in trusting her. _

_ But you are. _

_ I’m not wrong in trusting her. _

But the voice would never shut up until she was either proved right or proved wrong.

It would never shut up.

So she growled back at it and stomped back to her office, her mind already made that she would help Riven get there, not matter what.

After all, she had already written all of the papers and permits she would need to leave Ionia.

She had even found the sailor to take her there, smuggling her in.

All she needed was to wait until twilight and Riven would be gone.

_ Maybe not to come back. _

She growled harder and drove her point of wanting silence home by slamming her fist against the wall.

* * *

 

“I can’t have heard you correctly. You’re going  _ where?” _

“To Noxus.”

Orlon blinked slowly.

“Okay, well… What do you want for your funeral, then?”

The Noxian shoved him playfully, “Piss off!” She said, trying to lighten the mood but feeling every bit as nervous as she knew she should be.

Orlon wasn’t really laughing, though.

Riven had walked towards the training camps, looking deadlier than ever in her ebony Targonian armor and when he had asked her what she was doing, all she had said was  _ I’m going back to Noxus. _

What else had she expected? A friendly farewell?

The boy was  _ worried. _

“Riven,” He held her, both of his hands on her shoulders,  “You will  _ die  _ there.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Riven replied.

Deep inside, though, she was positive she was committing suicide.

She regretted her decision of sacrificing her quiet exile for...what? For the chance of bringing a traitor to justice?

She sighed through her nose. She knew it wasn’t like that, because nothing is ever that simple.

She knew she was sacrificing her quiet exile for  _ Irelia  _ and what she felt she owed the woman.

She felt it was the least she could do for her.

She  _ wanted  _ to do it for her.

_ And if she said yes to me traveling… _

Truth be told, she could face the fear, the pain and suffering, but originally she had imagined she would face it with  _ Irelia. _

She hadn’t thought she’d really be going alone and, now that she knew that was the case…

She didn’t know if she could handle it.

Truth be told, she was terrified of making this journey  _ alone. _

She was  _ Riven;  _ she  _ knew  _ she could be on her own, even if being on her own meant being in the company of her own struggles and demons.

But one thing was to be on her own anywhere else in Runeterra. Another completely different thing is to be on her own in  _ Noxus,  _ of all places.

It would be too much for her already broken mind.

_ But I’ve made a compromise. _

And she was not to break those.

“Someone’s looking fancy!” She turned at the sound of Sao’s voice, watching as the Captain arrived with her brother in line after her. “Did Irelia kick your ass hard enough that you decided to start bringing armor to the sparring session?”

And despite her fears, Riven chuckled, “You could definitely say that, but no. I’m going on a journey.”

“Oh, a journey?” Sao asked, “Where to?”

Riven grimaced when she said, “Noxus.”

Both Sato siblings looked at her with a dead stare.

“Noxus?” Ban asked.

Riven nodded her head.

“ _ The  _ Noxus? Your birthplace, Noxus?”

She nodded her head again, this time looking at Sao.

“Does Irelia know about this?”

“She’s actually filling in the paperwork that will allow me to go.” She looked at the tall man.

“And you’re going on your own?”

Her eyes darted again to the other sibling, “I think so.”

“And why in all of Runeterra did you suddenly decide that you wanted to go back to Noxus?”

Riven closed her eyes, doing her best not to groan at the question. “I didn’t just  _ suddenly decide _ to go back to Noxus.” She looked at Sao, “It’s very complicated and, if I’m honest, I don’t know how much of this I can disclose with you, so ask Irelia about it.”

She hadn’t meant to sound so defensive, but there was no backing off, now.

Sao and Ban looked at each other, before looking at her again.

Ban was  _ glaring. _

Sao, on the other hand, looked  _ worried. _

Riven smiled, “I’ll be fine, trust me.”

An she knew Ban was probably thinking something along the lines of  _ I bet you will. _

But she didn’t care. She was focused on making  _ Sao  _ feel better, not her jackass of a brother.

“Well, it will suck, not having you around.” Sao said, placing her hand on Riven’s shoulder. “We’ll inform the troop. Try to remain safe and sound during this journey and whatever it is that takes you to Noxus, I hope it brings you back from there, too.”

And she  _ hated,  _ she absolutely  _ despised  _ how Sao managed to touch her heartstrings. “Thank you, Sao. It means a lot.”

“ _ Riven!” _

They all turned to look at Irelia, who was calling the Noxian, motioning for her to come closer, before turning to leave, adding a loud, “ _ My office!”  _ As she left.

“Well, that’s definitely the cue for me to leave.” Riven nodded her head in acknowledge of the Captains and, when she turned to say her goodbyes to Orlon, she was crushed in a hug by the Demacian Boy.

“Be safe.”

Riven hugged him back, patting him a bit. “I’ll try.”

She started to walk away, sighing as she did so—

She staggered forwards as someone crashed into her from behind, slender arms snaking around waist.

“For the record, I thought about hugging you before Orlon did, but I’ve got an image to keep.” Sao’s words were muffled as she pressed herself against Riven’s back, the whole ordeal making the Noxian laugh heartily, before turning around in her embrace and hugging her back.

“All I’ve heard is that you’re too proud to do it in public.”

“Shut up, jerk.” She said, and they both laughed at that.

“Be honest with me,” Riven started, “How do you  _ feel  _ about this trip of mine?”

And she didn’t like how Sao’s look of worry deepened a bit, for she knew she was talking about her uncanny hunches which were never wrong. “You will receive surprise after surprise, that I’m sure of.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Not all surprises are good.”

“And what about threats to my life?” Riven questioned.

And Sao wore the expression of someone who’s trying to recognize someone else who’s standing too far away. “I don’t know whether what I feel is what I want to feel or my ability, Riven.” She shook her head. “I just hope that, knowing you and your capabilities, you will be fine.”

And she guessed that should be enough to work on. “Alright,” Riven said, before squeezing Sao one final time. “I will miss you.”

“I will miss you terribly, too.” Sao squeezed her back. “Now, go.” She released her, “Before Irelia comes for both our heads.”

Riven laughed and, looking back at Sao one last time, made her way to her Captain’s office, leaving the blonde behind, only one wish in her mind.

_ I hope it’s actually my ability telling me that you’ll be back and not how badly I want it, Riven. _

_ I hope it’s my fears telling me you will suffer and not my ability’s doing, too. _

_ I really do. _

* * *

 

Riven knocked on Irelia’s door before walking in, having learned her lesson from last time.

At the sound of Irelia’s firm voice saying, “Come in,” She pushed the door and entered, taking a seat in front of Irelia, her desk in between them.

“Everything has been settled.” Irelia informed her, still in that all-business attitude from before. “You’re to depart Ionia at dusk. The ship is bound to reach Noxus in…” She calculated the time in her head, a frown on her face as she did so, “A day, two tops, but I doubt it will take too long.” Her eyes scanned the papers in front of her. “The ship will wait only twenty four hours for you to sort out anything that you need to and then it will depart,  _ with or without you. _ ”

Her eyes had been on Riven’s when she had said that.

She was quietly pointing at the window, the chink in the armor’s plan.

Riven  _ could stay  _ if she wanted to.

Riven could  _ never  _ come back to Ionia.

“I hope you understand it’s just a security measure,” Irelia said, clearing her throat, “We can’t command an Ionian to remain in enemy lands if he doesn’t want to. the fact that this sailor is already willing to put his tripulation, his ship and his own life on the line for this trip—”

“I wouldn’t ask for anything but what they’re willing to offer, my Captain.” Riven interrupted, making it clear that she didn’t intend to force anyone to do anything they weren’t willing to do. “To be honest, I think it’s only fair that they can leave whenever they see fit. The fact that they’re willing to wait for me at least a whole day is already more than I could have had imagined.”

Irelia nodded her head, “Okay, good.” She stacked all the papers,” I’ll take it you already said your goodbyes to everyone?”

Riven nodded, “I did. I even hugged the cook,” She raised her brows at Irelia, who looked at her with a rather comical expression, “I told her I’ll miss the weekly lamb stew. I always look forward to that one.”

And  _ there it was,  _ the faint ghost of a smirk that Riven had grown used to looking for. “I’m sure she’ll make some for you to take with you, if you ask nicely.”

“Oh, I doubt it. You see, I’m only  _ Riven… _ ” She drifted off, waving her hand in the air as if she were looking for a word, “That’s it. Only Riven.”

And the small nudge to an old conversation forced Irelia to look away, a smile definitely plastered on her lips.

“But  _ you,  _ though. You’re  _ Captain Irelia Lito, _ I’m sure she  _ would  _ make it for you.”

Irelia was smiling when she looked at her again only to say, “All of this mess, just to make me ask her for your food?”

Riven frowned, deep in thought, before nodding vigorously. “Pretty much.”

And it earned her an actual  _ laugh  _ from Irelia.

And it was right then, with  _ that  _ laugh, that she decided she could totally walk into Noxus and demand whatever the Hell Irelia wanted her to ask for.

_ It can’t be that hard. _

_ Not as hard as making her laugh, at least. _

And when silence settled, Riven asked, “If I’m bound to leave at dusk, does it mean I have the rest of the day to myself?”

Irelia nodded her head. “Yes.”

“May I spend it here?”

Irelia raised a brow, “Here?” Upon seeing Riven nod, she asked, “Why here, of all Ionia?”

Riven shrugged, “I already bid Orlon and Sao farewell, might as well spend what remains with you.”

“Oh,” Irelia said before nodding her head, “Sure, you can stay here, if you wish.”

“Good,” Riven smiled, before getting up and slowly walking around the room, allowing herself to inspect it for the first time.

Irelia watched as Riven moved to the right side of the room, her hand lazily feeling each of the books on her bookshelves, eyes scanning their names with an uncanny yet natural ease: as if Riven were unaware that she was with someone else.

She watched as Riven slowly walked around, her eyes glued to the books, then the paintings, then the eternal fire on her fireplace, as the Noxian made her way to the couch that was —apparently, for she was the only person to use it so much —hers and took a seat on it, a lazy posture as she allowed her legs to dangle from one armrest, her head dangling off the other one.

A beat. Then,

“Are you still curious about my family name?”

Irelia thought about it for a second, before getting up and slowly walking to her own sofa. “A little bit, yes.”

As she took as seat, she watched Riven as the Noxian closed her eyes and let out a sigh through her nose.

“In Noxus, family names can make or break you.” She started with ease, her voice softer than usual, lower, more relaxed. “A family can hold prestige and such prestige can be inherited; a gateway to respect in the land of the strong but, since this is true, the opposite is, too; a family can hold a shameful name that can hurt your reputation rather hard and make earning recognition an impossible task.”

She didn’t look at Irelia as she continued. “Since this is a thing that happens in Noxus, you get the chance of renouncing your family, even your first name. You may even create a new family name, a new name to hold prestige and to be given to future generations, but you may never come back to your old names if you do give up on them.”

She shifted a bit on her seat, adjusting her back on the soft cushions. “We are all given our family names when we’re born, no matter whether our parents are in our lives or not.” She sighed, “My parents weren’t in mine: My dad had died in some war and my mom had died giving birth to me, so I was an orphan with a name that meant absolutely nothing to me.”

“I don’t really know who my parents were, but I did know that people gave me shit for them; apparently, they weren’t very…” She searched for a word. “Liked. I don’t know. All I knew was that my last name didn’t demand respect, but begged to be the end of every joke so, when I was offered the chance at being a warrior, I asked for the higher powers to give me a chance to change my name and they did, so I quickly erased it all and chose a name for my own:  _ Riven,  _ because it means  _ violently divided,  _ and I always knew that would define me, in a way.” She frowned, “Now that I think about it, though, maybe I just  _ let it  _ define me.” She shrugged, “Whichever way is, this is my name now. I chose not to have a family name because I didn’t think it was right for me to have one; if I don’t have a family, why have a family name?”

She shifted again, relaxing onto her seat, “So that’s why I’m just  _ Riven,  _ no last name included, because, in a way, it’s not really needed. I’m  _ Riven  _ and everyone knows who exactly  _ Riven  _ is, if they’ve ever met me.”

And it was only then that she dared take a look at Irelia.

The Ionian was looking at her, a softness to her gaze that Riven doubted she had ever seen there, before. A hand on her chin, elbow propped on the armrest, the woman looked pensative as she stared, halfway lost into her thoughts, which made Riven question if she had even heard her.

She knew she did when she heard Irelia say, “That much is true: there’s definitely not two people like you.”

A beat of silence.

“You’ve never regretted your decision?”

Riven shook her head a bit. “Not really.”

“So, you wouldn’t get a family name if you could?”

Riven shrugged. “I don’t see the reason why.”

“Ah, I see.”

“What about you?” Riven asked her, then, turning to her side so she could fully look at Irelia. “Would  _ you  _ change your name, if you could?”

Irelia thought about it for a minute, a frown on her face as she did so, before shaking her head, “No, not really. I like my name and I like my family, even with my grandparents and parents long gone and my brother a bit distant from me, considering I stole his future.”

“You never told me what happened to your parents.”

A past scar for a past scar.

A fair exchange.

“Both of my parents died during the first Noxian invasion, when we tried to protect our house from being occupied,” Irelia shared with her, a frown of sorrow on her face. “My brother and I are the only Lito family members still alive.”

“I’m sorry,” Riven said, both women aware she really meant it, before asking, “What about your grandparents? You mentioned them, too.”

Irelia sighed as she laid back on her sofa, “They mean a lot to me. Well, my grandmother does. My grandfather was a nice man, but we didn’t share much of our lives before he died of age. My grandmother, on the other hand, taught me the Silk Dance.”

There was a smile on her face at the memories she was so fond of, one that Riven stared at, in a trance, hearing as she continued talking, “When I was a little kid, she taught me these traditional dances, telling me about their connections to the Spirits of Ionia.” She chuckled, “At first, I teased her about it, because I didn’t think it was real. That day, though, when I fought off that Noxian Commander and my blades responded to my dancing…” She shook her head. “I should have never doubted her, but I bet she’s forgiven my ignorance.”

“Is she still alive?”

Irelia shook her head. “She died a peaceful death, which I’m grateful for.”

“I’m sorry to hear she’s dead, but I’m glad it involved no suffering.”

“Me too.”

There was a knock on the door, which startled both women.

“Come in,” Irelia said, standing up as Riven did the same.

A soldier appeared on the threshold, his eyes going from Riven to Irelia before he spoke, “My Captain, the ship’s crew are ready to see you.”

“Very well, I’ll be there in a minute.” Irelia said, nodding her head once and dismissing the soldier, before turning to look at Riven. “I promised the ship’s captain I would help him brief his sailors on their task and who they’d be sailing with. Do me the favor of waiting in your room, I’ll come and escort you to the ship myself.”

Riven nodded her head. “Okay.”

And with that, the Captain of the Guard walked out of the room.

* * *

 

A whole hour passed before someone finally knocked on her door, prompting a quick “Come in,” From Riven.

It wasn’t Irelia.

It was the same soldier from before.

“My Captain,” He said, though it didn’t have the same sentiment as when he had said it to Irelia, “The ship is ready for you.”

Riven got up from her bed, frowning, “I thought Captain Lito was going to escort me there?”

The soldier shook his head. “There’s been a change of plans and I will be the one with such a pleasure.”

Riven wanted to snort, because _ sure, it’s a pleasure to escort the Noxian out of Ionia. _

But she said nothing and allowed him to guide her towards their destination.

She silently walked behind him, her hand absentmindedly going to her Lunari charm, still secured on a chain around her neck, gently holding it for a few seconds, before releasing it and toying with it, a thing she had started to do whenever she was nervous.

The ship wasn’t  _ luxurious  _ per se, but it was a rather nice one, specially if one considered they were going to  _ smuggle her in, _ not carry her to the docks.

Made of a dark wood and containing white sails, it was as well kept as the Placidium and spacious enough to host a numerous crew with no problem.

She boarded it with her right foot first as she had learned she had to do and, when her eyes fell on the captain—

“ _ Captain Leith?” _

The man smiled at her, “Good to see you again, sailor!”

She chuckled at his apparently eternal good mood. “How come you’re the owner of this ship?”

Leith shrugged, “I have a tiny boat here, a big boat there…” He explained vaguely, “I’m a  _ hard worker,  _ ma’am.”

“That much I can tell.”

“Let me show you your quarters!” He said, motioning for her to follow him. “We’ve only got two private rooms, the Captain’s quarters, which are mine, of course, and a room of the same size and  _ splendor,  _ for any special guest who’s to come.” He explained as they slowly reached a closed door, “So you will have to bear it and share it.”

Riven frowned at that last thing he said, opening his mouth to ask but never managing to do so, for Leith explained it himself when he opened the door.

In the room, where only a bed, a chest and a desk with a chair and a mirror were the only things available for the guest who occupied it, she saw Irelia, sitting by the desk, an impatient look on her face as she turned to look at the door.

“Irelia?”

The Captain of the Guard could  _ feel  _ her cheeks getting warm.

“I’ll leave you two to get settled,” Leith said, before disappearing.

Riven entered the room and closed the door. “What are you doing here? Wasn’t I supposed to travel alone.”

Irelia was looking at absolutely  _ everything  _ but Riven. “Well, I,” She cleared her throat. “I just—”

Her eyes landed on Riven’s.

The Noxian was smiling at her with a knowing look.

Irelia groaned. “I couldn’t take it, okay?” She answered, “I couldn’t let you go alone. It didn’t feel right. I thought maybe you’d need a helping hand.”

And she had spoken truthfully, she really had.

She only stopped herself from admitting too much and saying  _ I would have missed you terribly if you had left alone. _

And she tried not to think of how those dark thoughts didn’t talk to her when she was with Riven.

But all she had said was true, too.

She wanted the Earth to open up and swallow her, again.

_ Doing all of this just to go with her, what the Hell were you— _

She couldn’t finish the thought, for a laughing Riven was bringing her up to her feet by her hands and, bold move, dare she say,  _ hugging her. _

“I don’t know what I would do without you.” She pulled away, a genuine, warm smile on her face. “Thank you, Irelia.”

And the honesty with which Riven spoke eased her nerves, even if it only sped up her heart.

She smiled back, “We are a team, aren’t we?”

And she could  _ swear  _ she had seen Riven’s eyes dart to her lips when the woman replied, “That we are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally going to be longer but then I was like "I want to update right now" and "I'm not Irelia Lito but this is my fic and I do what I want so if I want to update NOW I update NOW." and here we are.
> 
> Enjoy! Suffer through the slowest slow burn ever! Mwahaha!!
> 
> Mili.


	16. From Rational Control To Instinctual Behavior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riven and Irelia embark on a journey.

“Okay, folks!” Leith had said out loud, “Course set to Noxus, let’s sail, now!”

And just like that, Irelia and Riven, who had come out of their room before the departure, watched how every man on board, as perfectly as clockwork, got to their posts: knots untied and sails released, the ship was then sailing away from Ionia.

They both watched as the Captain looked into the horizon, his hands on the rudder, an exaggeratedly serious look on his face.

“Has he always been this…  _ quirky?”  _ Irelia whispered as they both made their way throughout the ship’s deck.

Riven chuckled as they slowly moved, “He has his moments. Did you choose him as our Captain because he was the one who brought me here?”

Irelia rolled her eyes. “Not everything revolves around you. I chose him because he was the only one up to the task.”

Riven whistled, the sound low, “A true, brave adventurer.”

They moved towards the ship’s bow and stared ahead at the vastness of the Ionian sea, the sound of men working and chatting freely resonating behind them, a rather joyful tone, so contrasting to the reality they were sailing for.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Riven said, the statement hanging in the air between them, before she turned her head to look at Irelia, “To be honest with you, I’m terrified of this: of going back to Noxus, of facing it all again.” She shook her head. “I don’t know if I can take it alone, but, with you?” She smiled at Irelia, “With you by my side I feel like it’s not too difficult.”

“I couldn’t leave you to do it on your own.”

“No,” Riven said, a smirk on her face, “Because you’d miss my ugly mug too much.”

Irelia chuckled, shaking her head.

_ Your mug is by no means ugly. _

They both froze at that.

Judging by the wild look on Irelia’s face, she had not meant to say it out loud.

Riven stared at Irelia—

The Ionian broke the spell by looking away and, “I will check on Leith, see you around.”

Riven watched her go, a satisfied smirk on her face.

She made her  _ nervous. _

It was interesting information to have.

* * *

 

Time was a funny thing for them in a very dark, not-funny-at-all way.

What was normal was for people to feel the day moving by painfully slowly while the night was a quick elipsed sequence, its’ actual length hidden behind closed eyes and a deep sleep.

For Riven and Irelia, though, it all happened backwards, with daylight leaving far too soon for them to be comfortable, a night dragging for as long as ten.

A few hours of the threatening nighttime felt like years to them, daylight and the safety it promised lasting only some scarce seconds, all because of the nightmares that plagued their minds when it was dark outside.

So it wasn’t uncommon for them to start feeling uneasy when dusk was well gone, nighttime fully settled in.

And they both could feel in the air just how nervous the other was; just by sharing one knowing look they both could see in their feathered jaws and their stern eyes what worried the other.

The subtle indications were hidden from the common eye, only there if you looked for then and you looked hard enough, but some people with a keen eye for detail could see them.

Diana had been able to, at some point in time. She still was.

They hadn’t expected Leith to be able to, too.

“I see the way you both frown at the horizon,” He commented as he approached them, both still at the front of the ship, watching ahead. “Like there’s a kraken awaiting right beneath the ocean’s surface.”

“I’ve always found it really unsettling, sailing at night.” Irelia was quick to confess, hiding other motives of fear behind a statement that was as true.

“And I’ve always found wind on my face really annoying.” Riven added behind her sentence, her arms crossed in front of her, a blatant lie coming out of her mouth.

And everyone in there knew it perfectly.

Leith shrugged, “We’ve been sailing for lifetimes, so we could go around this ocean blind. Now, the wind is something I’ll let you fight on your own: I wouldn’t want to get into an argument with the wind.”

Riven chuckled, nodding her head. “Understood.” And right after saying that, she stretched, the tiredness of the day finally catching up with her, “I’ll be heading to my quarters.”

“Our.”

She looked at Irelia.

“ _ Our  _ quarters.”

It was evident on Riven’s face that she had completely forgotten about it. “Oh.” She nodded her head. “Right.”

And, as awkwardly as humanly possible, Riven walked to their quarters.

_ With  _ Irelia trailing after her.

They entered their room and closed the door behind them.

“How do you want to do this?” Irelia asked her, silently releasing herself from the armor plates she usually wore.

Riven’s eyes focused hard on Irelia’s before the Noxian looked away, suddenly very busy with placing her sword on the room’s chest. “What do you mean?”

“The whole sleeping thing. Do  _ you  _ want the bed?” She asked her, before a thought hit her and made her freeze, quickly adding a serious, “Please tell me you’re not going to sleep naked in here too.”

“ _ Gods, no!”  _ Riven quickly defended herself with a bewildered look on her face as she quickly glanced at Irelia with a blush on her face, only then noticing how the Captains eyelids seemed heavier than usual, her eyes droopy. “I only sleep like that in the comfort of my own,  _ private  _ room.”

“Okay, good.” Irelia said, finishing ridding herself from her armor, moving to the chest to put it away. “I was just making sure.” And, as she finished placing it al away, dressed only in the skin-tight suit that she wore underneath the armor plates, she looked at Riven, still fully armored, sitting on the desk’s chair with a frown. “You won’t get out of that thing?”

Riven shook her head, “I’ll stay like this  _ and  _ I’ll sleep here on the chair. The bed’s yours.”

Irelia frowned at her, “Sleeping on your armor is bound to leave your body sore and stiff.”

Riven shrugged. “I’m used to it.”

Irelia looked at her, hard for a second, before shrugging and letting it pass.

Standing up, she slowly started to remove the skin-tight suit, which prompted Riven to look away once more, which she did by turning the chair around, so that she’d be facing away from her.

What she didn’t take into account, though, was that there was a mirror on the wall, right in front of the desk.

She saw Irelia’s back as the woman got rid of the suit, bandages crisscrossing her upper back, probably wrapping her chest tightly so as to offer comfort.

She closed her eyes when she bent over to get it off her legs.

She waited until she heard the bed’s covers being moved around before opening her eyes again, daring to take a look at Irelia through the mirror.

The woman was sitting up on the bed, the covers up to her waist.

She was frowning at her own hands.

“What’s the matter?” Riven dared ask, watching as Irelia looked up at the sound of the Noxian’s voice.

“I don’t even know why I got the bed,” She started, making Riven frown in confusion before she finally explained, “I don’t really sleep.”

She didn’t need to explain anything after that.

“Oh.”

She looked uncomfortable, but still asked, “Do  _ you  _ sleep?”

Riven shifted on her seat, leaning forwards, her forearms resting atop her thighs. “I manage to sleep enough every night, yes, but it wasn’t always like that. It got better for me.”

Irelia nodded her head. “How so?”

Riven shrugged, a smirk on her lips as she thought of Diana, protecting her from her nightmares. “I’m friends with the  _ queen of the dream realm _ ,” She joked, “So I guess that made the Moon spare me from  _ some  _ of my torments.”

“Ah, right,” Irelia said, as if just then remembering Riven and Diana were friends. “So you don’t have the nightmares?”

“I do, but they’re not as bad?” Riven said, her statement sounding more like a question, for she couldn’t quite explain it. “I used to not get a wink of sleep, but Diana somehow manages to make the nightmares go away or, at least, not that bad so that I can sleep.”

Irelia nodded her head, showing she was listening, for she was looking at nothing in particular, eyes unfocused, “That must feel good.” She looked at Riven, then, “I’m still on the  _ not get a wink of sleep  _ stage.”

Riven sighed, “Well, maybe the nightmares won’t come for you if I’m here to fend them off.”

Irelia nodded her head. “Maybe.” A yawn escaped her mouth, “I should try that theory.”

Riven chuckled, “You should. Goodnight, Irelia.”

“Goodnight, Riven.”

And Riven watched Irelia get comfortable, waiting enough for her to believe the Captain was asleep or, at least, in the process of it, before she slowly started to remove pieces of her armor.

She left it all on the ground around her, only its’ leather pants remaining on her, the Noxian quickly slipping into the shirt she usually wore, before crossing her arms before her and resting her head on the chair’s backrest, closing her eyes and letting out a deep exhale.

* * *

 

The sound of loud crying woke her up with her heart in her throat, her lungs desperate to get air in and out as they usually did when she was overcome with adrenaline.

Riven looked around, confused—

Irelia was thrashing around in the bed.

She didn’t think about it as she quickly climbed on top of the Captain, pinning her to the bed by her shoulders, “ _ Irelia!”  _ She called her name, trying to shake her out of it.

But she didn’t wake up.

“Irelia,” She kept trying, her voice strong, her hands shaking her harder and harder. “Irelia, wake up! Ire—”

She saw it just a fraction of a second before it actually happened.

She moved her head to the side, watching as one of Irelia’s blades rushed past her, the Noxian letting out a hiss as it brushed against her cheekbone, leaving a cut behind.

Her eyes immediately fell back on Irelia, tears running down the Captain’s cheeks, a desperate look on her face as she tried to make sense of where she was, who she was with, the reasons behind it all.

She was breathing heavier—

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Riven quickly cooed, gently pushing Irelia back against the bed.

But the Captain’s eyes moved from Riven’s eyes to the cut on her cheek, then to the blade embedded in the room’s wall, repeating the process time after time.

Riven nodded her head once, “It’s okay, trust me.”

And she tried, Irelia  _ really  _ tried to keep it controlled, but—

_ But the fire that night— _

_ And Riven with that blade and green eyes— _

_ And the bodies, oh Gods, the bodies— _

_ And Riven just now— _

She could feel her tears falling freely as she sobbed into her hands.

Riven felt awful at the sight.

“Hey, no,” She gently wrapped her arms around the crying Irelia’s body, bringing her up onto a sitting position, “Don’t cry.”

She heard Irelia mumble something, but she couldn’t quite comprehend it, “What?”

“That I’m  _ fucking  _ weak,” She growled, pulling away, her eyes puffy, “I’m fucking weak and I  _ hate this.” _

Riven looked at her with a frown of concern etched upon her features. “Weak? Because you’re crying?” She looked at Irelia in the eye, “You’ve got no idea of how many times I’ve woken up like this. Too many nights to count.”

“And now?” Irelia asked her, desperation on her tone. “How do you do it  _ now?  _ Because it’s been  _ years  _ and I  _ still  _ feel like  _ this.” _

Riven shook her head, unable to answer that, wondering when had Irelia started to trust her enough to show her true colors in front of her, “I don’t—” She sighed, “I don’t know.”

It shook her ground like an earthquake, the fact that Irelia had gone from the cold Captain to a woman with her fan of emotions wide open, on display for her to witness.

It meant too much for her to look into it right now. All she knew was that she definitely didn’t like to see the Ionian suffering.

Irelia breathed deeply, trying to calm down, her eyes glued to the cut on Riven’s cheek. “I’m sorry about that.”

“I will not hear it,” Riven offered a sad smile, “You’re not the only one who sleeps with a knife underneath her pillow, you know?”

Irelia mirrored her expression, “I know.” She noticed it then, “You’ve taken off your armor.”

“Oh,” Riven looked at herself, a bit self-conscious, “Yeah, I decided to listen to your advice.”

“For a change.”

Riven nodded, “For a change.”

“And you could also get off me, for a change.”

The subtle nudge for Riven to notice she was still straddling the Captain made the Noxian rush to get off her, falling to the ground in the process.

Irelia leaned over the edge of her bed, “Are you okay?”

“I’m good, thank you.” Riven quickly said as she got up, “Sorry about that.”

But Irelia ignored that, saying instead, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For keeping your promise.” She smirked, “Keeping them away.”

_ The nightmares. _

Riven sat on the bed’s edge, placing a hand on the Captain’s shoulder. “Any time.”

And Irelia kept her stare, unwilling to be the one to break it.

Riven grew nervous, her hand moving to her charm—

She gasped because  _ of course, her charm. _

Irelia watched her with a confused frown as Riven quickly got her necklace off, the first time she did so ever since leaving Targon. “How silly of me, to forget about this,” Riven mumbled, before showing Irelia the charm, “This is a Lunari charm.”

“I thought Lunaris weren’t a thing anymore?”

“They aren’t, and that’s why this one’s so special.” She regarded it fondly, playing with it for a bit, “Diana gave it to me before I left, a little charm to protect me from all evil.” She winked at Irelia at that, “And that’s exactly why I think you should have it.”

Irelia didn’t have the chance to complain before Riven was placing the necklace around the Captain’s neck.

“What—”

“Wear this and no nightmare can plague your dreams.” Riven said, unsure whether Diana had actually enchanted the charm or not, “I promise you that.”

Irelia looked doubtful, but then she said, “Thank you.”

Riven smiled, before getting up and moving towards the mirror, looking at the cut on her cheek.

It had been too superficial, too small for blood to come pouring out of it, only a drop making it out.

She dried it off with her shirt’s hem, deciding she could leave it like that, expecting it to scab by the morning.

_ Maybe it even helps add dramatism to our Noxian entrance. _

As if reading her mind, Irelia spoke about the event to come. “How do you feel about tomorrow?”

Riven sat on the chair, turning it to face Irelia. “Nervous. Very nervous,” She admitted, letting out a shaky sigh. “I honestly feel very bad about this, but at the same time I think it’s a first step in the right direction.”

Irelia nodded her head, “I see. Do you have any idea of how we will get in?”

“Yeah, through the front door.”

Irelia fought the urge to snort and simply frowned at Riven. “How do you expect that to happen?”

Riven shrugged, “Leith will probably try to find port in some unattended shore, then leave us to try and get in somehow. Truth is, no shore is unattended in Noxus. I’d dare say four, five…” She counted in her head, her eyes on the ceiling as she thought. “No,  _ six  _ soldiers, maybe, will be waiting for us there. As soon as Leith leaves us alone, they will surround us.”

Irelia sighed, “That’s not…  _ ideal.” _

Riven waved her off, “Don’t worry about it. We will have to put on a little act, but they will take us straight to Darkwill and then we’ll be able to demand Cyrus’ head.”

“What’s this little act you have in mind?”

And the grimace on Riven’s face was evidence enough that she wouldn’t like what she had to say. “I will have to act all cruel and ruthless. You know,” She shrugged, “ _ Noxian example.” _

“And me?”

She looked  _ genuinely uncomfortable  _ when she said, “And you will have to pose as my prisoner.” At Irelia’s expression, one of someone ready to protest, Riven raised her hands, “I will present you as a guest if I realize they have no clue who you are, but if they do, then I can’t have you as anything but my prisoner: an Ionian is the second worst person a Noxian can be  _ friends with. _ ”

“And what’s the first?”

“Demacians.”

Irelia cackled at that, “Seems you fill in both requirements.” She teased, Orlon in mind.

Riven nodded her head, a tired look on her face. “I do.”

The exhaustion was evident,  _ very  _ evident, on the Noxian’s every expression. “You don’t have to sleep on the chair, you know?”

Riven looked up at that, a look of alertness on her face.

_ Is she suggesting— _

“We could always switch.”

_ Oh. _

“It’s fine,” She said with a shake of her head, “You should try and rest some.”

“Okay,” But Irelia didn’t look very  _ okay  _ with the concept.

So Riven tried to get comfortable to sleep—

“Could you do me a favor?”

Riven looked at her, “Sure. What is it?”

And Irelia looked really uncomfortable asking for this, but, “Could you scoot closer?”

Hesitantly, for she didn’t really know what Irelia was hoping for with that, Riven stood up and moved her chair to the side of the bed. “Here?”

“Yes,” Irelia said, laying back down and turning to her side, so she was facing Riven.

The Noxian sat down, ready to cross her arms and go to sleep—

Irelia’s hand on her wrist stopped her motions, making her freeze in place as she watched what the Ionian wanted her to do.

She grabbed Riven’s hand and placed it, along with hers, on the Noxian’s thigh.

She didn’t release her.

Riven understood what it meant.

She got comfortable enough without letting go of Irelia, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

And neither would dare comment on how Irelia sighed at the way Riven’s thumb caressed her skin.

Neither would mention how it continued after several minutes, the Noxian hellbent on not stopping.

The Ionian enjoying it just as much.

And before any of them could fall asleep, she repeated herself.

“You don’t have to sleep on the chair.”

Slumber already starting to claim her, she mumbled her response, “I’m not switching with you.”

But no matter how sleepy she was, she couldn’t have had misheard Irelia when she replied, “I’m not asking you to switch.”

Riven looked up at the Ionian, only to find her already moving away, making room in the bed.

Why was she suddenly so nervous? “We don’t have to.”

But Irelia didn’t respond, her back to the Noxian, the offer still up.

Riven thought of something else. “I would have to take off the pants, too, you know?”

Again, Irelia did not react.

So, silently, Riven took off the leather pants and climbed into the bed.

“Goodnight.” She heard her say.

“Goodnight.”

* * *

 

She had always had that uncanny ability, to wake up whenever her life was threatened.

What she had never expected, though, was for the ability to work in scenarios where her life wasn’t on the line.

_ Guess you can always learn something new, even about yourself. _

She had remained unmoving, eyes closed and deep breathing slow and steady, as she felt the other woman on the bed moving closer.

It proved  _ almost impossible,  _ to keep herself from flinching at the contact of Irelia’s hand on her back.

She felt it move lower, to the hem of the shirt, before moving it away snaking its’ way right back up, skin on skin, the touch so gentle, so soft, that she could have imagined it, the only proof that it was real being the way her heartbeat picked up at the gesture.

Electricity like the one Irelia made her feel in real life could not be replicated by dreams, that much she knew.

She got a sense of how close Irelia actually was now only when she heard her whisper, after a few minutes, “I know you’re awake,” her breath ghosting over her ear.

Still, Riven did not dare a move, dead still.

“If this is wrong, if this is not what you want, stay just as you are.” Irelia kept whispering, her voice so low it could be mistaken by the sounds of the ship, gently rocking and rolling, “But if this is right, if you also want this, turn around and look at me.”

_ If you also want this. _

_ What, exactly? _

And she didn’t dare answer that question by herself, not because of naivety, of not knowing what such an intimate touch could mean, but because she was uncertain whether the answer she had formed in her head was the one Irelia would give her.

Because, was she just reading a bit too much into it? Her own foolish hopes getting in the way? Or was it all actually as she imagined?

All she knew was that her answer to Irelia’s own question was that  _ yes,  _ it  _ was  _ right and she  _ did  _ want it, whatever she was talking about.

Even if she wasn’t quite ready to admit it to herself yet, the ignorance to her own thoughts and feelings being the last and only barrier between giving up her emotional dependence or depending of Irelia’s answer in order to actually be happy.

Because that was all she really wanted: to be happy.

But she guessed she could give in a little bit, just now.

So, quietly, Riven turned around and faced Irelia.

The Ionian was staring at her.

“Did you really know I was awake?”

She saw Irelia shake her head no. “Wild guess.”

She could have stayed still and it wouldn’t have meant anything.

But before Riven could regret it, Irelia said, “I’m glad you were.”

And as she moved closer, her arms around the Noxian’s body, Riven’s arms doing just the same, the regret was gone.

“I’m glad too.”

They shared no more words after that, slumber quickly claiming them for the night, but right before she fell asleep, Riven could have sworn she felt Irelia’s lips brushing against her own.

_ All just a silly dream, product of the proximity. _

It didn’t help in stopping her from wondering whether it had been real or not.

* * *

 

When she woke up, she was alone.

She looked around, confused, before finally spotting Irelia as she finished getting dressed, casting one quick glance at Riven, “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” She said, “Are we close to Noxus?”

“We will be arriving in a few, so I advise you start getting ready.”

And at those words, Riven quickly got out of bed and obeyed Irelia. “Yes, my Captain,” She said, in a singsong voice, hoping to see Irelia react at the nickname.

The Captain smirked at it, but her only reply was, “You’re a morning person.”

Riven looked at her with a curious expression. “You woke up before I did. If anyone is the morning person here, is you.”

“But you’re in a remarkably good mood.”

“I guess that has to do with how well I slept last night.”

She had  _ not  _ meant to say that.

Irelia knew that much, evident in how she visibly flinched when it registered in her brain what she had just blurted out.

She wanted to reply to that, but she decided to be merciful with a Noxian  _ this one time  _ and let it pass, for a bit.

“I’ll be outside,” Irelia settled for saying instead.

“Okay, good.” Riven pushed out of her mouth, the pitch in her voice higher as she hurried through the action of dressing.

Once Irelia left her alone, she sighed.

She wanted to choke herself.

_ What an imbecile you can be sometimes, Riven. _

She decided not to comment on the issue anymore.

Once her armor was on her and her sword was strapped to her side, she walked out of the room.

Irelia was standing by Leith’s side, a focused frown on her face.

Guessing enough time had passed and she could stop feeling embarrassed, she walked towards them.

“Good morning,” She said mostly to Leith, nodding her head once, watching Leith nod back at her. “What’s our estimated time of arrival?”

Leith was looking straight ahead when he said, “Now.”

Turning around, Riven felt her heart drop at the sight.

The Noxian empire, nearer than it had been in a lifetime.

Right in front of them, away enough so as not to have the whole ship be sighted by coast guards, an  _ apparently unguarded  _ shore.

Leith guided them both to a small boat and, climbing it along with them, he rowed to the shore, letting them descend the small wooden boat and find their footing on the shore before saying, “Remember, twenty four hours.” And leaving them behind.

They watched as he left, Riven quickly letting out a whispered, “I apologise in advance for my behavior.”

And, before Irelia could question that, just like Riven had said—

_ “Don’t move.” _

Despite the warning, Riven’s hand grabbed Irelia’s arm and, slowly, she turned, Irelia following her lead.

_ Six men  _ with dark armors and long, deadly-looking spears were surrounding them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is... is that enough not-slow burn for you all...
> 
> Happy weekend!


	17. Blood For Noxus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riven and Irelia enter Noxus.

“Are you deaf?” One of the six men barked, “I said  _ don’t move!” _

“And who the Hell are you to tell me  _ not to move?”  _ Riven growled back, “Don’t you know who I am?!” Her voice sounding so violent and filled with aggression, Irelia couldn’t help it but look at her, shocked to hear her sound like that, a whiplash kind of effect when she considered how gentle she could sound.

_ How gentle she sounded, last night. _

The guard took a few steps towards them—

As his spear came close enough to Riven, the white haired woman grabbed it and yanked it from his hands, before swiftly turning it in her own and throwing it at him, successfully piercing his neck, his body falling to the ground.

All of the other guards moved closer at that, spears ready and their guards up, but not as close as the dead man had.

They were  _ assessing  _ them, Riven knew.

“Who are you?” One of them spoke loudly, his eyes on Riven.

Riven sneered at him, “I’m the Hand of Noxus, you insolent scum.”

Another one barked a laugh, “The Hand of Noxus is General  _ Darius,  _ you lying—”

“ _ General Darius  _ is  _ nothing  _ but my  _ second in command.”  _ Riven cut him off. “I’m the Leader of the Noxian Army,  _ Captain Riven  _ and Darius answers to  _ me,  _ that stupid little title of  _ General  _ means  _ nothing.”  _ She smiled, the gesture cruel on her expression, “So you five, as low in the pyramid as a dying, rabid dog, answer to me, too.”

They knew her name, their guards faltering as they thought about her words.

“Captain Riven is dead.”

“No, you idiot,” Riven replied impatiently. “She’s  _ alive  _ and standing  _ right in front of you.” _ She waited a few minutes, “If you won’t let me through, I’ll make my way on my own. You won’t be alive to witness it, though.”

_ That  _ final threat drove the point home. “Who is she?”

“She’s my  _ personal guest.”  _ Riven said, glaring at them, challenging them to question her. “We’re here to see the Grand General and I demand you take us there,  _ right now.” _

They were taking  _ too long _ —

“Or you could try and kill us.” Riven said, shrugging nonchalantly. “Highly unlikely you’d succeed but, in the case you do, you’re bound to face Darius’ rage, if he ever found out you found his beloved Leader alive and  _ killed her _ .”

It was a thing known all across Noxus, the fact that Darius  _ admired  _ her. Some even thought what he felt for her went beyond platonic admiration.

In any case, no one dared speak wrongly of Riven in front of him.

Not when she was round and not even then, when she was presumed  _ dead. _

The guards seemed to know this little bit of trivia, for they subsided. “Follow us.”

“What about him?”

The feminine voice made them all stop before they even started to walk.

Irelia had asked that question, regarding the dead man on the ground.

All of the guards stood still, waiting to see if she  _ really  _ was who she said she was.

Riven looked at her, a glare on her eyes that was more brutal than anything Irelia had ever seen in them, far more in control, far more dominant, than Riven had ever displayed herself to be, “Let the crows feast on him and take care of the matter.”

The soldiers nodded their heads once and started walking. They still doubted her identity, but the fear of making a mistake and actually driving away the former Hand of Noxus made them consider they could be wrong and, having Riven given them the right answer, their doubts were dissipated a little bit more.

Behind them, Riven and Irelia followed, falling into step.

None of them dared a word to the other.

Irelia, looking at Riven with a wary look in her eye.

Riven, looking straight ahead with death around her pupils.

The guards guided them away of the beach, through the high walls that protected Noxus, into the cities.

Irelia’s eyes moved from Riven’s expression to the Empire that stood tall all around her; the buildings reminding her of claws that reached for the sky, a sky that looked grim and grey with pollution, but she could tell it was mostly her own judgement of Noxus, clouding her mind, expressing it into her vision; Noxus was a powerful country that was perfectly represented by itself: the streets crowded with people who looked from all different kinds of backgrounds, chatting and moving energetically, living in the fast lane, markets surrounding her with loud merchants trying to sell her something, towering walls from the buildings and bridges all around her and—

She quickly moved to a side as Riven gently pushed her, both women barely dodging a street fight.

Two young men were fist fighting, one of them on the ground with a bloody face, the other one on top of him, beating him to a pulp.

Around them, a crowd of people who cheered them on.

Irelia grimaced, “And no one interferes?” She asked in a whisper, hoping only Riven would be able to hear her.

The deadly-looking Noxian huffed a laugh, “Welcome to Noxus.”

They kept walking throughout the city’s streets, until suddenly they were all hidden from sunlight’s kiss.

Irelia frowned at the sky, looking for the offending cloud.

She found no cloud.

She gasped at the sight of a humongous, imposing building ahead of them.

“What’s  _ this?”  _ She couldn’t help herself as she whispered in awe, having never seen a building so tall that it hid the Sun from her eyes.

Not even the Placidium.

Riven’s eyes were on the same tower as hers. “This would be the Immortal Bastion.” She narrowed her eyes, slightly. “Looks better than the last time I saw it.”

Right ahead of them, separated by yet more towering walls, the capital city of Noxus awaited, looking more like a keep of sorts, more a fort than a city, appearing to be as inhabitable as defendable, impossible to penetrate, only available for entering by permission, given only by the heart of Noxus’ itself, as it opened its’ doors in the form of an invitation.

Walking straight into the Devil’s den, the wolf’s maw.

And walk straight into it, Riven and Irelia did.

They didn’t dare make eye contact with anybody as they followed the soldiers that guided them.

Irelia, out of a sensible  _ fear _ .

Riven, with the purpose of making a statement.

They walked every step towards the door of the Immortal Bastion, the dreadful counterpart of Ionia’s Placidium, ignoring the glances that were cast towards them.

But they would have never been able to disregard the man that stood between them and the door to the Noxian palace, having  _ just _ come out of it.

Riven’s jaw feathered, her very soul wishing to damn coincidences and unfortunate timing.

Except nothing ever is just a mere coincidence.

“Halt,” He said in an authoritative voice, his expression not changing at all as his eyes fell on the two women standing behind the now frozen guards.

But Riven could tell there was surprise hidden behind his eyes.

“What is the meaning of this?” He murmured, his eyes narrowing at the smirk on Riven’s face.

“My General,” one of the soldiers began, “This woman,” She pointed at Riven, “Claims to be Captain Riven.”

“Long time no see, _Darius.”_ She smiled at him, “Could you tell these low lifes that calling the Hand of Noxus _this woman_ in such an offhand manner is disrespectful and punishable by death?”

It had sounded like a challenge, but they both knew it had actually been a question.

Had Darius told anybody about her being alive?

The soldiers turned to look at her, “Who the Hell do you think you are?” And the one who spoke had the nerve to raise his hand, ready to strike her, Riven not even making a move to stop him—

Darius’ hand on his wrist halted his movements, the General gripping him forcefully enough that his hold would be painful.

“How dare you talk to your Captain like that?”

Placing his other hand on the soldier’s shoulder, her pulled from his arm and dislocated it, making the man scream, before pushing him to a side and watching him fall to the ground.

He glared at the remaining four soldiers, who stared at him in fear. “Since, apparently, you have forgotten how Noxians go about titles, let me remind you a little thing; Captain Riven had never been officially demoted from being the Hand of Noxus, having only been declared dead. Considering she’s alive, her status as deceased is invalid and, therefore, she remains as the Hand of Noxus.” He looked at Riven, “I schooled them for you, Captain.”

“I’m glad to see you’ve taken your Noxian law lessons, Darius.” She said, finding both power and pride on the fact that the  _ General Darius himself  _ had intervened, allowing her to simply stand back and watch the show, a certain dominance hiding behind the fact that she was the only one allowed to call him by his name.

Irelia was all too busy thinking of the fact that, in this country, Riven was  _ My Captain,  _ not her.

But then Darius’ eyes drifted towards her and she couldn’t help but feel wary of him, able to trust Riven but completely unable to trust any other Noxian, let alone  _ Darius,  _ of all of them. “I see these soldiers are stupid enough they don’t even know who the woman you’re escorting is.”

Riven shook her head, “They didn’t even bother to ask for her identity.”

“One would imagine that she looks  _ Ionian  _ enough.” Darius said, his eyes on Riven’s again, pointedly ignoring the looks of  _ horror  _ on the soldiers’ faces. “At this point, I’m not even asking that they know this is none other than  _ The Captain of the Ionian Guard, Irelia Lito.”  _ And he could  _ smell  _ their fear. “All I ask for is that they can do their job properly, but they’re so useless that they can’t even get that simple task of  _ guarding the shore  _ right.”

Before  _ anybody  _ could say  _ anything,  _ Darius glared at one of them, “You’ve got three seconds to get out of my sight before I get you all executed for being so useless.” He eyed the one on the ground, “And take him with you.”

They waited until the soldiers were out of sight, out of mind.

“You didn’t tell them.”

Darius’ head moved millimetrically from side to side. “No.”

“Why?”

She was met with silence.

A beat.

Then,

“I hope you understand,  _ my Captain,  _ that the Ionian is still alive because she has been invited into the city by  _ you  _ and I still respect our traditions—”

And it had been a jab at her; at the broken sword, the Targonian armor, the fact that she walked into the city, side by side with an Ionian.

“—But I’m not your subordinate anymore; a lot has changed in Noxus since last time you were here.”

Riven raised a brow. “The Hand of Noxus is the second in line after the Grand General.”

Darius shook his head. “The Hand of Noxus is now the fourth in line and I’m before that , so you’re talking to a  _ superior,  _ but for the sake of old times, I will pretend it’s not like that. Now, considering the kindness i’m displaying, I hope you answer me this:  _ why  _ are you here?”

Riven didn’t have time to question whatever Darius was telling her. “We’re here to see Grand General Darkwill and demand he gives us Cyrus’ head.”

Darius raised a brow. “You want to see  _ Darkwill.” _

“Yes.”

Darius smirked, mirth in his eyes. “You probably passed by his tombstone when you sailed your way here.”

That was not right.

Riven blinked once, twice, thrice— “Excuse me?”

Darius took a step towards her and Irelia  _ flinched,  _ but Riven remained impassive. “Boram Darkwill is dead.” He said as he leaned forwards, before standing tall once more. “He was killed by our current Grand General.”

He didn’t drop the name.

Riven shook her head, that steely resolve faltering a bit. “Why?”

“Because Darkwill was  _ poison  _ to Noxus.” He said, fury in his eyes. “But don’t worry,  _ Captain _ ,” He said, turning around, looking at her over his shoulder. “Your oaths are to  _ Noxus,  _ not to  _ Darkwill,  _ so you still hold all your privileges as the Hand of Noxus.” He looked ahead, “Now, follow me and I’ll take you to the Grand General.”

He started walking and, very hesitantly, both women followed. “Why would you take us to him?”

“Because you asked nicely  _ and  _ since you didn’t know Darkwill was dead, you might as well learn a bit about your  _ own country.  _ Besides, I told you already; you were never demoted, so you really still are  _ The Queen Of The Noxian Army.” _

He was lying, Riven could tell.

Not about her never being demoted, but mostly about  _ schooling her  _ a bit.

She decided to leave it alone, for now.

They walked into the Immortal Bastion, Darius guiding them throughout the halls, even if Riven realized she remembered them like the back of her hand.

And they were so unlike the Placidium’s, it was painful to witness.

The tranquility of the seemingly eternal halls of the Ionian palace, with its’ circular shapes and its’ nowhere-to-be-found edges, always round and never sharp, each form blending into each other seamlessly was a stark contrast to the harsh, rough edges of the Noxian hallways, the crimson hues the perfect counterpart to Ionia’s tranquil blue ones.

Irelia’s arm brushed against Riven’s, both Captains flinching at the contact, having both unexpectedly drifted closer.

Riven regarded her for a second and Irelia saw the Noxian roughness melt, if only for a moment.

A small smirk, not of mirth or anything else but support.

A brief reminder for her to understand that she was not alone in the game, the Noxian still by her side.

Always by her side.

She wanted to reach out, grab her hand, squeeze it tight and show how much it meant, how much she needed it.

She forgot for a second that Riven, despite her act as a tough Noxian with a hardened exterior, probably needed it all more.

_ Definitely  _ needed it all more.

She felt like there was no ground underneath her feet.

Reminded of exchanges that had existed so long ago, walking around in illusions formed long before her, ones which would remain on Runeterra long after she was gone, she felt like a stranger in her own skin, like an impostor, yet at the same time, she had never felt more like herself.

It was a dangerous line to toe.

She felt the drums of war in her heart, but the wails of sorrow in her soul.

It was hard, to be so painfully split in two.

So painfully riven into two different people.

And not the kind of people who could coexist in peace.

She felt sick at herself, disgusted at how easily she had fallen into the Noxian act.

How familiar it all was, how the muscle memory worked and nothing was too long ago for her not to remember.

How a broken part of her with vile intentions, a poisonous voice and wicked words enjoyed the company of the ghost she had become, if only to walk into Noxus unscathed.

So she’d remind herself it was  _ only  _ to enter and exit peacefully.

An identity to use as her shield, then discard.

A shield, but not her  _ banner. _

They reached a door Riven remembered very well.

“The Meeting Room.” She mumbled, unable to forget the days she had spent locked up in there, with Darius, Darkwill and other important people, scheming their next move, strategizing and improving their tactiques.

Darius opened it.

Several men and women, the most prestigious people of Noxus, those holding political power over the Empire, were sitting by a round table.

At the far end, a man with long, white hair, black eyes and a cruel expression, a stare cold as ice yet able to make you burst into flames, somehow.

When the doors had opened, they all turned to look at them.

The man stood up.

“You’re all dismissed,” He said, his eyes on Riven, not even looking at Irelia as he added an authoritative, “Now.”

He hadn’t given the Noxian nobility the chance to react to these two women who were now in the Meeting Room, hadn’t given them the time to recognize any of them, his orders being followed immediately as everyone quickly left the room, Darius closing the door behind them.

And suddenly the room felt smaller, ironically more crowded, even if it only contained four people.

The tall man who was dressed in a black armor, a cloak over his shoulders, walked around the table, “Captain Riven,” He said, “Welcome back to Noxus. A few things have changed since the last time you were here, but I bet you will not mind said changes.” He smiled, but the gesture was more terrifying than amicable, “And I see you brought a  _ guest.” _

It was only then that Riven remembered Irelia was there with her, too.

The white haired man moved towards them, but kept a healthy distance as he came to stand in front of them. “ _ Blade-witch.”  _ He said to Irelia. “I never thought I’d see your face again.” Raising a brow, he added, “You’ve grown up, but I could recognize those eyes  _ anywhere _ .”

Riven frowned, “You know  _ him?” _

Irelia’s hands were trembling, adrenaline kicking all of her senses into an overdrive.

The man didn’t give her time to reply, though, as he chuckled, “We know each other pretty well. After all, I owe who I am to her.” He moved his left arm from underneath his cloak—

“What in the seven rings of Hell—”

His arm had nothing human to it, resembling a crow’s foot more than a person’s hand, a crimson color to it, looking like the imprint of fresh blood bathing his limb.

Irelia’s dancing blades suddenly filled the room, but nobody, not even Darius, made a move to stop her.

The man clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Irelia was breathing heavily, “I—”

“Do you think I would try to seek revenge for my departed arm?” He questioned, laughing despite the blades that circled her, that aimed at him. “If anything, girl, you did me a  _ favor.  _ You can put those away, for no bloodshed will occur between you and I.” He was still smirking as he said, “After all, you’re  _ The Hand Of Noxus’  _ guest, untouchable by right.”

“It’s okay, Irelia,” Riven announced, looking at the ionian with the hint of a smile. “Trust me.”

So Irelia slowly obeyed, even if it felt wrong in her heart, the blades she had so quickly called to the battle, slowly moving back to their place.

The man watched her until they were all gone, before nodding his head once. “Wise decision, Captain.” He said, no taunt behind his recognition of Irelia’s title, “And I realize that neither of you know who I am.”

“You’re Boram Darkwill’s murderer.”

He looked at Riven with a smile on his lips. “I’m Jericho Swain, the Noxian Grand General and Trifarix Leader of Vision and I did this country a  _ service  _ when I killed him.”

“ _ Trifarix Leader of Vision?”  _ Riven scoffed, “What does that even  _ mean?” _

“It means that Noxus is now ruled by a council of  _ three  _ Leaders, Swain being one of them, me being another one,” Darius replied for him, “The Trifarix Leader of Might, so now you’ve got  _ three people  _ above you in rank, Riven.” He said her name, as if trying to drive the point home. “I would be careful how you address him.”

_ Him,  _ but not  _ me. _

Riven noticed that slipup.

“If you’re only two, where’s the third?”

“Leader of Guile.” Swain said, “But you will not be meeting said Leader. Whatever matters brought you to Noxus, you will discuss them with  _ me.” _

Riven wanted to laugh, “Because Noxus might have three leaders, but you remain the one in control.”

Swain raised a brow, “To an extent, yes, but it’s mostly because the people of this Empire know me well enough to know I will unite Noxus as one unstoppable force instead of wasting our time in futile wars. They trust me because they know I don’t trust men and I detest them instead.” He smirked at her, a challenge on his face. “Only nations may be revered.”

“You forget you’re human, Swain.” Riven spat back.

“You don’t know enough about me to make such a statement to freely, Captain.” He merely replied. “But we’re not here to talk about me.” He turned and walked towards the end of the table, Darius following suit and sitting by his side, both women still standing by the other end of it. “Come forth, sit down and let’s discuss what brings you here.”

Irelia took a deep breath and followed, Riven closely behind her.

She was going to sit by the Grand General’s other side, but Riven quickly intercepted her, taking the seat from her.

_ Like Hell I’m letting you near this one. _

Irelia would remember the gesture.

“You don’t look surprised to know I’m alive.”

“No one can hide a secret so important from me.” He explained, his eyes on Riven. “I must admit I’m still disappointed at Darius for not letting me know of such an important fact, but I will let it fly this one time, knowing men to be weak for their humanly loyalties.” He looked at Darius, then, “But this is the only time I will let it pass. Betray Noxus again and you will be judged.”

Darius lowered his head a fraction of an inch.

“How long have you known?”

Swain looked at her again, “Long enough to have done something, but not long enough to make a decision about what to do.”

She wondered how he found out.

She knew he wouldn’t answer it.

“Let’s stop beating around the bush,” Irelia intervened, already too nervous about the whole thing to remain quiet and let Riven take the lead, “We’re here for a man who’s committed war crimes against his own country.” She declared, clever enough to know a Noxian wouldn’t care of the crimes committed against Ionia.

Swain nodded his head. “Cyrus.”

“Where is he.”

Riven had not asked a question.

And she had no doubt about the man still breathing.

Swain’s head lolled to a side.

The questions in his head were not regarding whether she really knew about this man’s status as alive or deceased or if she was merely bluffing, for he could tell she was certain he was still kicking.

The questions were of other nature, questions Riven asked herself.

Did he know  _ who  _ had given her the information about him being alive?

Would he ask about it?

“You really want him to pay for what he’s done, don’t you?” He asked instead, letting go of his own doubts, disregarding them as minor issues.

Both Irelia and Riven guessed that maybe he could only find out about the secrets people considered important, those that weighed on your heart and your soul, but not about those which could be small and shrugged off.

Riven tried not to decide whether she had seen Darius sigh in relief or not, out of her peripheral vision.

She chose to focus on the fact that this Swain man had just confirmed two things, definitely on purpose:

One, that Cyrus was, indeed, still alive.

Two, that he had  _ not  _ been punished.

She decided to make him add a third to the list. “So you can confirm that he’s guilty of what we believe?”

Swain grinned. “He  _ is  _ guilty of betraying the Noxian Empire by attacking his fellow countrymen.”

Riven slammed her hands against the table, “ _ Where is he then?!” _

“Do you think he would still be alive if he were on Noxian grounds? A  _ traitor  _ to this country?”

“You killed our Grand General and you’re still here, so I cannot see why not.”

She had  _ growled  _ at him.

Swain seemed to find it amusing.

“I betrayed Darkwill, but I didn’t betray Noxus.” He stated, “I remained loyal to our principles. The man you’re looking for has betrayed  _ Noxus,  _ so he’d be dead if he were here.”

Irelia nodded her head millimetrically, making a mental note.

_ Cyrus is alive, but he’s not in Noxus. _

_ Where is he then? _

“We do not know his whereabouts,” Swain said, replying to Irelia’s mute question, “And we do not care about them, for he’s already gone, officially stripped of his titles, exiled.”

And what Swain had just said reverberated deep in the Ionian Captain’s soul, for she knew it was somehow anticipating something really bad that was about to be said—

“You, on the other hand, are still here.”

Riven’s fury subsided for a second.

“And self exile is just one of a long thread of crimes you’ve committed against this country, Riven.”

The door to the Meeting Room opened, suddenly, a swarm of guards entering it, spears and swords and axes at the ready.

Irelia hoped to call upon her blades, but she couldn’t move, realizing a crimson hand made of magic held her, its’ grip strong enough that she couldn’t even fight it.

Riven unsheathed her broken blade, “You promised us  _ immunity!” _

“I promised your  _ guest  _ immunity, which she will be given. I’m merely preventing her from breaking the diplomacy deal between Ionia and Noxus. You, on the other hand,” And then another red wave of magic imprisoned her, “Are still bound to our rules and the crimes you’ve committed demand a trial.”

He stood from his chair and stood right in front of the trapped Noxian. “We still do trials by combat, if you so wish to choose that alternative.” He narrowed his eyes, as if in deep thought, “I would advise you to choose such alternative, for I believe it’s the only way you may win your own trial, but I won’t make it easy for you. You see, the best armor is being forgotten and you, my dear, are quite forgettable.” His face was devoid of mirth, a General’s cold calculating stare in his eye, “I cannot grant you such a shield. Your name must be remembered by all of Noxus again, before falling into eternal oblivion, so we will put on a show.” He looked at the rest of the men in the room, motioning for them to grab Riven, who remained trapped by his powers, before looking at— “Darius, spread the word; there’s Blood for Noxus.”

And he didn’t look back at her, not even at Irelia, when he said,

“Noxus will have yet another Fleshing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, amirite?
> 
> The lengthier the comment, the happier the author!! wink wink


	18. The Fleshing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riven faces her Noxian trial. Irelia watches helplessly.

Riven was growling, screaming, trashing, _fighting it all_ with a might that not even the bravest Noxian could ever display, the Grand General’s magical grip on her being strong enough to root her to the ground, but unable to stop her limbs from moving, her arms not trapped under the raven’s claw that immobilized her, unlike Irelia’s.

Soldiers attempted to approach her with chains, but she kept pushing them away, her battlecry being a repeated, loud, _I’ll kill you all! I’ll kill you all!_

And then Swain raised his demonic arm and closed his fist with strength.

Riven did not feel the effect.

She _saw it,_ instead.

The bloody claw that gripped Irelia started to squeeze her, darkness slowly starting to surround the helpless Irelia.

“If you fall out of line, your precious _guest_ will pay the price, diplomacy damned and her immunity gone.” Swain’s voice was low, vicious and feral, the threat more real than anything Riven has ever had happening to her. “Play smart, Riven, because every action that you make will have a consequence.”

Riven resisted for only a second more, her eyes desperately clinging to the suffering Irelia—

Swain gripped harder and the Captain let out a pained cry.

And the battle within Riven was immediately lost.

Her arms falling idly to her sides, chains were draped all around her like deadly cloaks, her wrists, ankles and neck shackled, ten soldiers split in teams of two, each group pulling from each metal string, forbidding the Noxian from daring a move.

Not like she would try anything, now.

“The same goes to you,” Swain said, his eyes going to the still trapped Irelia as he released the defeated Riven. “Don’t even think about it or else you’ll be left unprotected, still inside the wolf’s maw.”

He stared at Irelia for a few seconds, watching the Captain hold his stare.

Fire behind the ice cold of her eyes.

He smirked, releasing her as he did so.

Irelia didn’t move.

“Take her to the Gladiator’s Chambers.” Swain ordered. “Strip her of that ridiculous armor and get her something more traditional. The trial will be tonight.”

The soldiers pulled violently from the chains and dragged Riven away, leaving Swain and Irelia alone, Darius long gone, too.

“What will you do to her?”

The growled question made him raise his brows at the Captain, faintly surprised at how her attitude had changed. “Nothing I wouldn’t do to any other desertor.” Swain replied with narrowed eyes, “My feud with Riven is not personal, Captain Lito, so I advice you don’t take it that way, either.”

His reply, reading so easily between the lines and so deeply into her soul, made her both uneasy and even more furious, but she tried to keep her cool, aware of how much she had to lose if she didn’t remain collected. “I can’t see how this isn’t personal.”

Swain got in her space, leaning forwards a bit, a look of quiet annoyance on his expression. “I was not lying when I said she’s still bound to our rules,” He stood tall once more. “I don’t care about her as Jericho Swain; I had never even seen her in person before. I care about her on behalf of _Noxus,_ because what kind of ruler would I be, what kind of _Empire_ would we be if we didn’t reprimand someone who breaks our _laws?_ She disappeared as the Hand of Noxus and no one took that title away from her, a lesson for me to learn and a mistake not to repeat, but it still means she _must_ answer to our law and the consequences behind her actions, just like any other Noxian would, no matter how much time has passed since the last time she was actually a Noxian and felt like one.”

He slowly started walking around, circling Irelia. “Desertion is a crime punishable by _death,_ specially considering she’s part of the Noxian military forces, _specially_ considering she’s the _Hand of Noxus,_ the _Leader_ of the Noxian army.” He looked at her over his shoulder, “The fact that I’m willing to let her face a trial is already merciful enough that I could be questioned about it, but it’s a generosity I’m willing to have with her, even if she doesn’t deserve it.”

“She doesn’t deserve—”

“She doesn’t deserve my kindness,” Swain sneered, suddenly facing her, leaning forwards so as to be eye level with her, “Because I was a victim of my circumstances just as much as her and I didn’t betray my country; I _came back to right its’ wrongs.”_ He spat on her face, reading her mind and replying to her thoughts, in an ominous way. “She committed desertion and, as if that weren’t enough, she _sided with the enemy on a bellic conflict_ and _joined the military of two different regions with animosity against Noxus,”_ She lifted his hand to count them, “Targon and _Ionia,_ the last one being a region we were invested on conquering, _all while still being Hand of Noxus_.”

He stood tall once more, “Having done what here in Noxus is considered the worst kind of sins, the fact that Riven is not facing the butcher’s block but a _trial instead_ is a kindness that doesn’t _exist_ here.”

“She’s not facing a _trial,”_ Irelia growled, “She’s facing a _public execution.”_

“She’s facing a trial because she _could choose_ to legally defend herself instead of fighting for her innocence, but things in Noxus don’t go as they do in Ionia.” He smiled, “Here, you’re _guilty until proven the contrary,_ not the other way around, and there’s quite literally no way for her to claim innocence: _all of Noxus_ knows of her crimes. I suggested she chose a trial by combat because, that way, she can _at least_ have a chance at walking away safely. Don’t you see, Captain? As a fellow Noxian, I was _kind._ As the Grand General, I was forced to be _cruel.”_

“And tell me something, _kind_ General Swain.” She was glaring at him, “Are _all_ trials by combat so _publicly promoted?”_

Swain laughed, “No, but she gives me the chance to make a statement: prove that in Noxus, criminals pay for their crimes. If I did it any other way, I’d face the worst enemy a leader can have.”

Irelia watched as Swain opened the door to the room they were in, “Which is?”

“Doubts and distrust. Now, enough chit chat, Captain.” He motioned for her to follow him, “Let’s go to the Fleshing Arena, get you settled on the good seats.”

* * *

 

At least an hour had passed until she finally arrived to her destination.

They threw her in a small, rather dark room that she knew was supposed to be _The Gladiator’s Chambers,_ but it actually felt like an animal’s cage, specially so as the ten men who had escorted her approached her, unshackling her but keeping their weapons at the ready, in case she dared do something.

She wouldn’t though.

Because if she did—

One of the guards spoke loudly. “Strip.” He commanded in a monotone voice as he lit the torches in the room, so as to provide her with some light. “Gladiators are allowed to fight only in Noxian clothing.”

Riven glared at him, but no word came from her.

She looked around the room, finding there was nothing for her to put on, were she to obey.

“What would I fight in?”

Another guard moved to the front, one she hadn’t seen slipping out of the room only to come back with—

He threw what he carried to the ground, in front of her.

A white robe, a leather belt that looked more like an abdominal binder, sandals and three pieces of armor: a gauntlet for her right hand, a greave and a shoulder plate.

“General Darius said this would be all you’d need.” The guard said, “Since your blade is Noxian, you’re allowed to wield it in combat.”

Riven stared at the clothing on the ground.

Last time Darius had seen her fight, she was practically dressed like that, her _Exile fashion_ on full display for him to see.

And he had remembered.

Not only that, he had _ordered_ they allowed her to fight like that.

To others, it may seem like an insult; Darius was dressing her up as the Exile once more. This time, for all of Noxus to see and shame.

But Riven knew it wasn’t like that.

She knew Darius was aware of her mobility needs, of how lacking armor was her strongest weapon.

It was a _mercy._

It proved to her that what she had told Irelia that night in her office was the truth; whatever Darius did for her, it wasn’t out of treason to Noxus.

It was out of loyalty to her.

So she quietly obliged, stripping until she was laid bare, no guard reacting to her body, the scars that ran over her skin, some as faint as white lines and others deep and textured, like rivers splitting the forest in multiple parts.

She picked up the curiously designed robe and got it on, first sliding her legs in through the short, pant-like piece of it, before sliding her arms and head through the top piece, her limbs free from cloth as the strips that composed most of it crisscrossed her chest and went down her back in the same fashion, the fabric being comfortably tight on her torso and her upper thighs, those being the only parts of her that it covered.

She didn’t mind at all, though.

She placed the leather binder around her abdomen, letting it offer her robe support, tightening it enough for it to be perfectly fastened but not enough for her to be unable to breathe.

She put the sandals on, before moving to the shoulder plate and the greave.

Her hands still wrapped with their bandages, she placed her gauntlet on.

“I’m finished.”

Automatically, the guards moved towards her and shackled her right leg, the left one being the one armored, chaining her to the wall by it.

She noticed there was no keyhole on the shackles and questioned it out loud.

The guard huffed, “This is how things are done now. It makes it harder to escape.”

It was awfully metaphorical; how could you free yourself if there was no no lock to unlock, no entry to the trapping mechanism, no way of releasing your limbs?

She was nothing but a slave to her destiny, with no way out of it.

No key to fit in the lock and release her from her fate.

No lock to be manipulated, opened, rendered useless.

No escape, no way out.

Not without help, at least.

She couldn’t fight on her own, anymore.

And she felt alone at the moment.

“Now, you’re to wait.”

So Riven nodded her head once and sat down.

Waiting for the Gods to judge her.

* * *

 

The road to the Gladiator’s Arena was long and quiet, the Noxian Empire being too big for them to walk around it in just a matter of minutes, the trip having been as long as an hour, if Irelia had counted correctly.

She had followed Swain with a glare in her eyes, entering the Arena and climbing up to its’ top level, following him to the balcony where spectators —the most revered of them —would watch the bloodbath underneath them happening.

She hated how the view took her breath away.

A humongous, circular desert, surrounded by walls with gate after gate on them, entrances that probably led to each of the Gladiator’s Chambers hidden behind the bricks. Tall walls that, high above the wasteland and far enough from danger, offered terraces for spectators to crowd and occupy, to watch the battle happening underneath, organized in levels, for the most noble Noxians to occupy those on top, the lower class ones taking over the ones underneath.

A battle to the death, turned into a show for all of Noxus to witness.

It was sickening.

Sickeningly fascinating, for some.

And to think Riven was somewhere in this Arena, caged like a rabid animal...

It made her want to throw up.

She hated how Noxus, so contrary to everything she held dear, sometimes spoke to the cruelest side of her.

She wanted to burn it to the ground, if only for how big of an insult to life it all was.

There was a particularly small balcony, divided from the rest, with three settees on it.

Swain entered that one and Irelia followed.

Darius was sitting on the far right sofa.

“Take any seat you’d like,” Swain indicated, “I’ll be back here soon.”

He turned and left, leaving Irelia and Darius alone.

Her jaw tightening, her fists shaking, she wanted to _kill him._

She opted for having a word with him, instead.

She stomped her way to him and stood right in front of the Noxian man, watching as his eyes moved from the evening in front of him to her own pupils.

She slowly leaned forwards until their faces were too close for it to be comfortable, bracing herself by placing her hands on each of his seat’s armrests.

Darius didn’t seem too perturbed. “Did you need something?”

“I need you to _fucking_ do something about this.”

The growl Irelia had spoken with, the _insult_ coming out of someone he expected to be calm and collected made Darius raise his brows.

“About what?”

Irelia screamed at his face when she said, “ _About Riven’s trial!”_

Darius let out a long exhale, before slowly getting up, his movements making Irelia pull away, though she didn’t take a step back, still invading his personal space. “Riven is a Noxian who’s gone against our laws and, as such, she must be judged like any of us would be. No matter how badly I want to do something about it, I _can’t_ , because I _can’t_ go against my people; she’s a criminal and she shall be treated as such.”

“A criminal for having _one of her soldiers betray her?!”_ Irelia roared at his face. “She’s _innocent!”_

 _“_ She’s innocent of what happened to her but not of her actions regarding it.” Darius responded, his voice tense with anger but he still managed to reign in on it. “She _could_ have come back and she _didn’t,_ choosing to blindly blame Noxus and never come back demanding answers. She choose and now she must face her consequences.”

“She chose what she did because she woke up _alone,_ her whole _army having abandoned her.”_

“Don’t you _fucking dare say that_ ,” The Might of Noxus said, growling at her as he moved forwards, making Irelia walk backwards until her back hit the railing that prevented people from falling into the Arena. “Because you don’t have the _faintest clue_ of what happened during that war. Not even _Riven_ knows.” His eyes were hot on hers, anger evident on the lines on his forehead, “Nobody knew The Crimson Elite was present during the conflict and _all I knew_ was what Riven was willing to tell me; that she wouldn’t lead us to battle and that I had to do it instead.” His jaw locked, his teeth gritting, “No rescue party was sent because _absolutely no one knew a gods damned thing about their whereabouts!”_ He was losing his cool, nostrils flaring, “I was commanded to go back to Noxus and, instead, I _stayed,_ disobeying my orders and I _searched for her, before daring giving up!”_ He was screaming on her face, “So _don’t tell me_ I know _nothing_ about that night, because it’s _you_ who doesn’t know the whole story.”

Irelia was frozen in place.

She closed her eyes, shutting him out for a second and using her time alone in her head to recollect her thoughts, pick up every piece of information she held regarding that night and organize it, like a big map of events that happened simultaneously.

Riven had given Darius only two orders; to play his part, taking her role for the night and _not_ to ask questions.

Darius obeyed and lead the attack on the front, being the only one who knew the real Hand of Noxus was somewhere else, the only one who knew the Crimson Elite was even present on the fight, their mission being, apparently, so secret, so sensitive and crucial that absolutely _no one else_ in the Noxian military could even know about it, about them.

Riven sneaked around Ionia, trying to get in through the back door, escorting the Zaunite Unit; the one character in the whole act that _no one_ seemed to know _anything_ about.

_But if Swain and Darius know about Cyrus, then—_

_Finish the tale._

Irelia fought with Riven.

The Crimson Elite fell under Ionian efforts, except for Riven and—

Cyrus set them ablaze.

But now the story was longer, for she could see how it continued the morning after.

Now she knew that, as dawn had come, the Noxian forces who remained alive were commanded to fall back and retreat, return to Ionia. Riven having not appeared, Darius disobeyed and remained in Ionian lands for longer, searching for her.

Having not found her, she returned to Noxus, confirming her as dead.

Darkwill was killed.

Swain and Darius stand as the leaders of Noxus, along with someone else, the Guile of Noxus.

Riven had been _right,_ she noticed.

Maybe now it was —or it _seemed_ —different, but the truth was that Darius’ loyalties didn’t lay with Noxus.

They laid with her.

If he had told her about Cyrus, it was because he still stood by her.

“Have you ever questioned how it feels from this side?”

It made Irelia open her eyes.

Darius was still on her face, his expression not as neutral as it had always been, finally displaying how he felt.

He felt enraged.

And she could see he also felt helpless.

“How do you think it feels to see _your leader,_ the person you’ve admired _the most_ ever since meeting her, damning absolutely everything you both shared, cared about, held dear, at some point in life?” She could see the muscles on his jaw, “How do you think I felt when I saw she was _alive_ and fighting for my _enemies?_ Don’t you think it shook my core beliefs, if only for a second? I constantly see myself having to choose; Noxus or Riven and I _keep finding myself excusing her behavior,_ even if my heart now lays in _Noxus.”_

Because the old Darius’ very soul was still chained to his leader’s.

“I’m split in two and I can’t pick a side, no matter how hard I try. That’s why I don’t choose at all and let someone else do it.” Let _Swain_ do it, because—  “Because I know, _everyone knows_ I’m biased and these are not Noxus’ best interests.”

And the new Darius wants to protect just that.

There was a shine to his eyes, “So I feel as pained as you, seeing her be nothing but a prisoner, suffering for little more than show and an implied message for the masses, but I understand there’s no other way. At least, not in Noxus.” He stood tall, pulling away from her, “So we both will have to suck it up and watch the show, Captain, because Riven’s enemies are the Noxian rules she so blindly broke. Not Swain, not me, _no one_ else, but her own actions and their long overdue consequences.”

It was hard, Irelia realized, to open up a narrow mind.

It was even harder to accept when the narrow mind was one’s own.

And maybe she couldn’t possibly do it at the moment, the process of letting go of her prejudices and accepting the truth to be different being long enough that she couldn’t go through it in a matter of minutes, but she was aware of the fact that she could see someone sensible and even _likeable_ in Darius.

She could see herself agreeing with him.

It made her feel dirty, like she was betraying Ionia, in a way.

It was hard: to wrap her head around the fact that not everything was a perfect black-and-white contrast, grey areas appearing all around her, defying her moral grounds.

Riven was a shade of grey, perfectly in the middle.

Darius, another one, close to Riven.

Swain, a third, darker hue.

But they were all morally _grey._

And opening one’s mind to new alternatives and possibilities was hard, but not _impossible._

Eventually, she would be able to understand that the world was not that simple and there were greys to understand and even find herself in, but for now, it was hard enough to _live._

She could accept that she had been on the same grey area as Riven for a while now, but she could do it later.

For now, it was easier to keep pretending she wasn’t aware of it.

At some point, Darius had sat down on his chair again.

Irelia breathed deep and sat down next to him, her arms crossed right in front of her.

They didn’t speak again.

There was no real tension between them, either.

Darius knew she had given the girl a lot to think about and Irelia knew he was aware of such a fact, because it could be seen on her face just how hard she was _thinking._

Riven, Darius and Swain.

The three of them had faced the _same_ fate under different contexts, but the conflict remained the _same._

The three of them had come face to face with the fact that the Noxus they loved and fought for was not the Noxus that they were living for; they were all abandoned and betrayed by their land.

Riven chose to turn her back on it, just like it turned its’ back on her.

Swain chose to come back and fight for what he believed, bringing Noxus back to its’ glory.

Darius fought for his leader and seemed willing to follow her wherever she went, but gave in the moment he felt his search was futile and turned around, returning to Noxus to fight for his beliefs and the country he hoped for, just like Swain had done.

They had all seen the same truth and the three of them had chosen different paths.

All of them logical and perfectly justified, but all of them carrying their consequences with them.

Darius and Swain fought hard and reshaped Noxus.

Riven skipped the fighting and battled inside her own mind.

It was shocking, to see how what they had coming for them finally caught up.

Irelia sighed. “How does the Fleshing go?”

Darius shifted on his seat, trying to relax into it. “The Fleshing is a gladiatorial event where, as a fighter wins their matches, the number of opponents they fight simultaneously increases.” Darius looked at Irelia, aware of her eyes on him, the alertness to them, “It does mean eventual death of all contenders just as much as it also means unparalleled glory, but Riven’s Fleshing won’t carry out like that. Trials by combat are usually a match between the accused one and a representative of Noxus, chosen by the judge. In Riven’s case, Swain acted as the judge, made a strange move and called the Fleshing as the representative of Noxus.” He shrugged, “Since Riven’s crimes were against _all_ of us, considering it was betrayal of the worst kind, he deemed it fair that she fought for _all_ of Noxus to see, against the event that represents us all.” He sighed, “So her fleshing will be her against _Noxus,_ whatever that means.”

Irelia frowned. “You don’t know?”

Darius shook his head. “Swain is organizing it.”

And the mention of the Grand General brought something to mind. “Darius,” She called his name, feeling it strange on her tongue, but trying not to think too much about it, “Do you know what Cyrus did, that night?”

Darius’ frown was as deep as hers.

The seconds that passed felt longer than what they actually were.

“I will have to ask you to forget who I am for a minute,” Irelia said, knowing exactly what was going on in his head, “Not for me, but for…”

He knew who she was talking about, no name needed.

Irelia saw him look around.

“When I came back to Noxus after that fiasco, I was met with a coup; Swain, backed by my brother and several other Noxians, had killed Darkwill and taken control of the Empire, a thing possible due to how we _value strength;_ if Darkwill had died, then it meant he was not fit to rule, his killer being in far better shape for it.” His eyes moved around frantically. “ _He_ had been the one to order the retreat. With Riven gone, I was the temporary Hand of Noxus, so I was called into the Meeting Room and briefed on what had happened before I could even react to the news; with the Noxian army gone, Swain striked the defenseless Grand General and defeated him, becoming the new leader of Noxus. He explained to me his motives; Darkwill was far gone, insane with power and hellbent on conquering lands and winning campaigns far too out of our reach, when what Noxus needed was a change of heart, a return to its’ culture, habits, glory, but he didn’t care for it all; it was all stupid nonsense to a man so desperate for power, ignorant of how one’s power needs a strong base and principles in order to survive and be respected by others.”

“So that’s why he killed him.”

Darius nodded. “He killed Darkwill because he considered he was betraying and harming our nation.” He was nervous about telling her this all, the Ionian woman not being able to believe how uncomfortable he seemed, a look completely strange on him, as off on him as humanly possible. “Regarding the Ionian conflict, Swain informed me that Darkwill had asked our Zaunite allies for help with our move to invade and they helped by giving us a chemical weapon that the Crimson Elite were supposed to detonate in the Placidium.” Darius continued, “It never happened, as you already know.” He swallowed his own saliva, “That’s what convinced me of backing him up; Darkwill’s insanity had ruined Noxus and killed Riven, so I felt that it was a sort of poetic justice, for Swain to be the new Grand General and for me to back him up.”

Irelia shook her head a bit, “But _Zaun? Why_ was Zaun... _”_

She trailed off when she saw him flinch a bit.

Apparently, he hadn’t wanted her to pinpoint that.

Or, maybe, he had expected her to pinpoint it to _Riven,_ not to him.

He seemed to debate something in his head, before finally giving up.

He cleared his throat, “The Crimson Elite’s mission that night was secret due to the fact that it showed very explicitly that Noxus had a bond with Zaun, which still exists, _up to this day._ ” He said in a very low, murmured voice, but Irelia caught it.

He had given her information he shouldn’t be sharing.

“No other country should know about Noxus and Zaun’s alliance. No one did back then and no one knows for sure today.”

He _glared_ at her at that.

He was commanding her to keep the secret.

She nodded her head once.

 He resumed his storytelling. “After all of that, I agreed on becoming his Hand, only to later on create the Trifarix with him, being the Might while he was the Vision.”

“And what about Cyrus?”

His hand moved to his chin, his fingers scratching at his stubble. Judging by the way he was frowning, he didn’t really know about this man.

Or he had a piece of information he was debating whether he could share it or not.

What did that change, considering everything he had said before?

“There's not much I knew about the Crimson Elite and they _still_ remain a mystery to me; Riven had never told me about them so as to keep both her team and I safe. I know they all died that night, except for Riven and Cyrus, and we have had it confirmed by Swain that it had been Cyrus who detonated the Zaunite Unit.”

 _Swain?_ “And how does he know?”

“He wasn’t lying when he said no one can really keep a secret from him.” Darius explained. “He always finds out about everything, I don’t really know how.”

Irelia nodded in understanding, but she was not happy about it.

Darius continued, “Riven was presumed dead and Cyrus never came back. Judging by his disappearance and how he was never seen around here again, his reasons to detonate the cargo unknown, it was decided that Noxus would disown him, announcing him to be a traitor to our nation.”

Irelia could tell there was something else Darius knew, something he had trouble sharing with her.

_Something too sensitive: a clear betrayal to Noxus._

_Or to Swain._

Because he had said too much, but truth be told, Irelia could have found out about it all by her own means.

Whatever Darius was holding on to at the moment was something only he knew.

Something Irelia could find out only through him.

No, he wouldn’t betray Noxus for her, tell her whatever it was that kept him wide eyed, gaze unfocused.

_But maybe he will say it to Riven._

Because Darius would turn a blind eye for his former superior.

“I see,” She said, then dropped it.

With a perfect timing, Swain walked in.

Almost in sync with the Grand General, Irelia watched as people started flooding every single balcony around her.

Swain’s eyes were on the horizon, the dusk that was almost done. “The Fleshing is about to start,” He told them, “So I advice you stand up and approach the railing for the announcement.” He had been looking at Irelia. His eyes then moved to Darius’, his head moving on a small nod.

Just like that, Darius stood up and left.

Irelia was on her feet but, instead of following after Darius, she moved to stand next to Swain.

She tried to ignore the fear in her arteries.

It proved impossible.

* * *

 

She was sitting on the ground, her eyes closed and both hands on her blade.

She heard the door to her chambers open and every guard around her suddenly stomped their feet on the ground once, the clear indication of them standing on attention.

Riven opened her eyes and looked up.

“Time to begin.” Darius said to her, swinging his axe and breaking the chain, before offering her hand to help her stand up.

“These shackles are very counterproductive for Noxus.” She commented.

Darius made no move, remaining still, his hand still stretched.

And despite the fact that a side of her wanted to reject it, Riven took it and allowed him to get her up on her feet, following the Might of Noxus through her gate.

To the Arena.

* * *

 

Swain lifted his hand up in the air and the murmur of the crowds around them subsided.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve last had a Fleshing, no?” He said, his voice boomingly loud, and he smirked at the way the crowds went wild at his question, before quieting down again. “But tonight’s event is not like the ones we’ve had up until today. Tonight’s Fleshing will be different, since it will act as a trial by combat, requested by _Captain Riven_ as her means of defending herself from the criminal accusations against her name _.”_

At his words, the crowds started murmuring again.

“Nobody knew she was still alive,” Swain said lowly to Irelia, who stood by his side, as an explanation to the people’s reaction, before speaking to the people of Noxus again, “I call the accused to come forth!”

And at his words, one of the gates on one of the Arena’s walls opened.

Irelia’s breath hitched.

She saw Darius walk in, Riven following suit behind him.

They moved towards the center of the Arena and faced Swain’s balcony.

Riven looked up, her eyes on Irelia.

The Ionian Captain felt as if her heart would explode, judging from how fast it was beating.

She was starting to know what real, pure, unadulterated _terror_ felt like.

She had never expected to feel it for Riven’s life.

She moved her hand to her own neck, the nervousness making her fidgety—

She felt the necklace around her neck.

_Riven’s Lunari charm._

_I never gave it back._

Her fingers moved towards the symbol and, as she played with it, she closed her eyes.

_My Goddess…_

_Could you aid us in our trying times?_

Swain eyes were on her, too, “I didn’t take you for a religious person,” He commented, amusement evident on his tone.

“I’m not religious.” Irelia said, eyes still closed, “But desperate times call for desperate measures.”

Swain huffed a laugh, but did not comment on it.

He knew Gods were real.

“Riven,” He addressed her in his authoritative tone, “You’re accused of turning your back to your nation, betraying the Noxian Army by deserting and, worst of it all, _fighting against your fellow countrymen_ on behalf of an enemy nation, protecting our enemies from our bellic attempts.” He waited a few seconds, letting everyone process the list of crimes. “As a response to such claims, you’ve requested a trial by combat, which will be granted to you but with a twist: since your crimes have been committed against all of Noxus’ best interests, your trial will be harder than most, following the Fleshing’s most common procedures instead of those usual for trials by combat. In any case, I will remind you now that this trial is for you to try and _save yourself from execution;_ your crimes have some immediate effects. You will no longer be recognized as a Noxian citizen, let alone the Hand of Noxus. No matter what happens during your trial, consider yourself officially banned and exiled from Noxus, no longer holding a citizenship, every privilege ever granted to you now revoked.” Swain lifted his chin a bit, looking down at Riven. “I will confess I considered making you face Darius as your opponent for your Fleshing-trial.”

Riven felt the Might of Noxus flinch next to her.

“But I know his history as your protégé will make him biased and he won’t strike truly, not on purpose but instinctually, not being able to control it.” Swain’s eyes narrowed, “So you will face ten duels instead, which will grow in difficulty as you defeat your foes. If you win all ten rounds, you will be judged as innocent and Noxus will allow you to leave peacefully. If you lose…” He lifted an eyebrow. “I doubt you need me to tell you what losing means.”

Because to lose in the Fleshing meant to die; there was no other way around it.

“Is there something you’d wish to say before we get started?”

Riven’s eyes were on Swain’s, a challenge in her pupils. “I have a question for you.” When Swain nodded his head once, she continued, “Will you honor the promise you’ve made, even if I lose my trial?”

_If I die, will you harm Irelia or will she still be protected?_

Swain knew that was her real question.

There was the ghost of a smile on his lips. “I’m a man of honor.”

And Riven could tell what his answer meant.

_She will be free to go._

That was all Riven needed, if she was honest.

“Then there’s nothing else to be said, Grand General.”

“Very well, then,” Swain said, “Might of Noxus, leave the prisoner alone, for there’s _blood for Noxus_ and her opponents know it.”

As the crowds went wild at Swain’s words, Darius nodded his head, before slowly walking away, towards the still open gate.

“You could wish me luck.”

Darius stopped for a brief second, his back to Riven as he huffed a laugh. “You don’t need it.”

And despite the situation she was in, she couldn’t help but smile at his retreating shape.

When Darius finally walked out, the gate that he walked through closing behind him, Swain spoke again. “Let her first opponent enter the Arena!”

Riven immediately turned, looking at one of the entrances that stood around her on the walls, slowly opening itself.

A heavily armored, bulky man walked out of it, a trident on one of his hands, a net on the other.

She blankly stared at the gladiator as he moved towards her, weapon at the ready.

She unsheathed her own blade.

* * *

 

Irelia’s hands moved to the railing and gripped it hard as she watched Riven dodge the first attack.

The man was _vicious,_ unlike anything Irelia had ever seen before; this was not the way Ionian people fought, not even how _Noxians_ fought.

This was how someone who had nothing left to lose fought.

Erratically brutal, desperately feral, with reckless abandon and hunger for survival.

She remembered hearing somewhere that the Fleshing’s gladiators were _prisoners,_ war criminals that Noxus used for entertainment.

She wondered if Swain had offered freedom to these prisoners if they managed to kill Riven.

And judging by the way this man moved, he had offered freedom and then some.

_Glory?_

Did she care, though? She just wanted to see Riven come out on top, victorious.

_Alive._

So let the Gods forgive her lack of morals at the moment, but all Irelia wanted was to see him _die._

The battle carried on with the gladiator attacking relentlessly, Riven dodging time after time, unable to approach him and get close enough to strike back for he was too unpredictable, too dangerous.

And with that net on his hand…

Darius entered their small balcony and took a seat, his eyes nervously on Riven’s moving figure and Irelia felt the need to sit down next to him, his unease bringing a certain, ironic comfort to her.

It helped a lot, knowing she was not alone in this.

Her hand moved back to that Lunari charm around her neck.

Swain took a seat next to her, the Ionian flanked by the two Noxian men.

She gazed at him out of the corner of her eye.

The Grand General was narrowing his eyes at Riven, as if he were studying her.

The crowd went wild and Irelia looked at the Arena again only to see the gladiator’s net on Riven, tangling itself on her legs and making her fall.

The gladiator, a few feet away from Riven, took aim with his trident.

Riven moved her blade towards her legs, working to cut the ropes that trapped her.

The gladiator threw his spear.

At the very last moment, Riven released herself and rolled to a side, barely missing the trident as it scratched against her armored calf, the greave protecting her from real harm.

Riven quickly got on her feet and leapt to the man, blade at the ready.

The crowd went wild with either excitement or anger, Irelia didn’t know.

All she knew was what she could see; Riven’s blade, embedded on the man’s torso, its’ end sticking out of his back, before she pulled it out of him and watched him fall.

Dead.

She had won her first duel.

Not too long passed before another gate opened, two gladiators coming out of it; one wielding a broadsword, the other wielding a mace and a shield.

Irelia watched as the horrific show carried on, both flanking Riven, who quickly dashed away and unleashed some of her runic power, stunning both men.

The attempt wasn’t strong enough, both enemies evading her attacks and moving away, ready to resume the battle.

“What a cursed object.” She turned to look at Swain as he spoke, watching him sneer at Riven’s figure. “What kind of blade even is that?”

“That’s the blade Darkwill gifted her when she became his Hand.” Darius commented, “He had ordered his personal magical blacksmiths to forge her that runic broadsword.”

“It looks nothing like a broadsword.”

“Because she broke it,” Irelia interrupted, earning curious looks from both Swain and Darius, “She shattered the blade with her own, bare hands.”

She didn’t like the way Swain frowned, humming in thought, before looking at Riven once more.

“She shattered the blade, you say?”

“I _know,”_ Irelia confirmed, “She told me so.”

Swain nodded, lost in his mind.

“What is it about it that has you so concerned?” Irelia pushed.

And Swain looked right through her. “Since when does an Ionian care so much about her former enemy, Captain Lito?”

Irelia did not really know how to answer that.

_Since I saw her that night?_

_Since I saw her in Ionia, with Diana by her side?_

_Since she came back, taking me up on my offer?_

_Since she opened up to me?_

_Since I opened up to her?_

She knew she liked Riven.

She didn’t know when that happened.

“I cannot tell,” She confessed, considering it would be more sensible than the alternative, being honest with a man who could learn your deepest secrets, “I guess she’s crept up on me.”

Swain smiled at her, a knowing look in his eye. “Apparently so.”

Riven hurried to dodge her opponents bold attempts, quickly striking straight and true, bringing down her foes with enough effort that she was breathing heavy, sweat slowly sliding down her forehead.

The second duel had been won

Riven was not exhausted yet, but Irelia knew Riven would reach her end soon, if her battles extended for too long.

She needed to be faster.

Three opponents came out of another gate, two men and woman; one of the men wielded a war axe on each hand, the other one had a quiver filled with arrows strapped to his back and a long bow on his hand and then the woman—

Riven barely had time to dodge a fireball as it flew through the air towards her head.

The woman was a pyromancer.

Riven already felt far more stressed than acceptable, already.

Still, she would fight for her life.

“She’s fighting for _you.”_ Irelia heard Swain comment, amused. “Are you aware of it?”

She looked at Swain, “I—”

“You _could say_ she has her own selfish reasons to fight and try to survive, too, but it doesn’t take a genius to see that she’s more interested in _your_ well being than hers.”

And this was all something she didn’t need to know.

It just gave her too much to read into, too much to think, too much to talk with the Noxian woman.

She opted for going back to her previous topic of conversation, instead. “Will you tell me what you saw in that blade of hers that makes you so wary of it or not?”

Swain looked at her with slightly wide eyes, surprised at how annoyed she sounded, even if there was no direct hostility behind it.

“Runes are a kind of power that demands respect, an understanding of their nature, _knowledge.”_ Swain replied, “They’re dangerous and can be deadly for their user, specially if they don’t know how to use them.” His eyes moved to Riven, “She knows how to wield them, but she certainly did not respect them when she shattered her blade and ignored how runes work. You see, if you wish to vanish a rune’s power, you must erase the symbol completely.” He squinted, “And I can tell she didn’t destroy the symbols entirely, only snapping them in half.”

“And what does that do? What’s the difference between destroying them and only breaking them?”

“Runic magic needs a vessel to function,” Swain looked at her. “If the vessel is broken, they latch onto their user and use them, just like they use the runes’ magic.” He raised a brow, “But it’s not _mutualism,_ it’s a parasitic bond; the runes slowly nibble at your mind until you lose every thread of sanity you’ve got left and the victim is held hostage of their addiction to the maddening power, so they don’t fight it..” He looked at Riven. “It’s a miracle she’s still stable, to some degree, but only watching her will let us know to which extent the runes have bled through her skin.”

Irelia let out a shaky breath.

Knowing exactly what she wanted to ask, Swain huffed a laugh, “If she lives, Captain, I advise you finish destroying her sword.” His eyes darted towards Irelia, “The process will not be pretty, but she’ll progressively detoxify herself, with her sword gone.”

She wondered what he meant with _the process will not be pretty._

She decided not to ask him.

They watched Riven as she grabbed the warrior with the axes by the neck and used him as a shield, the archer’s arrows landing on his chest.

As he fell dead to the ground, she ran towards the archer, using her blade to deflect his arrows.

The pyromancer was giving her a hard time coordinating, though.

She kept moving, knowing she had to get rid of one of them, at least—

She screamed when a fireball caught her leg, making her fall to the ground.

But Riven did not give up.

Using the distraction for her advantage, she rolled forwards during her fall, her blade still on her hand and, as she landed on her feet once more, she lunged for the archer, slashing at him.

Her blade split him in two, easily.

She turned to the mage—

The pyromancer’s hands threw flames at her, the fiery attack being seemingly endless as seconds stretched and Riven’s image was lost in a cloud of fire and smoke.

She stopped for a second and watched her opponent, seeing if the former Hand of Noxus was still alive.

As the cloud dissipated, she saw Riven running towards her, her runic shield just then dying out.

The mage’s whole body lit up on a fire—

Riven tried to stop her advance as she saw the fiery woman shine bright, like she was about to—

An explosion boomed throughout the Arena and everyone went silent.

Irelia ran from her seat to the edge of the balcony.

She watched as smoke and debris moved around the atmosphere, desperation in her pupils as they frantically searched through the dark cloud.

Seconds stretched.

Irelia heard loud cheering coming from all around them first, before the image became clear.

Riven was still standing, a look of fear in her eyes as she breathed heavily, her chest expanding wildly with every inhale, her skin heated as it had been a bit charred, but she was still alive.

The pyromancer’s body laid on the ground, burned beyond recognition.

Irelia felt like crying.

She laughed, instead.

_Is this what the Fleshing makes everyone feel?_

The intoxicating adrenaline was proving efficient on driving her insane.

“Enjoying the show, I see.”

Despite the laughter, the nausea, the tears, she glared at Swain. “This is more alike torture.”

But a dark part of her couldn’t deny the excitement upon seeing her gladiator come out of it victorious.

It felt stimulated by it all.

Irelia moved back to her seat and breathed deeply, watching as four other gladiators came out, Riven turning to face them.

And duel after duel, the Fleshing moved on throughout the night.

Duel after duel, Riven’s opponents grew in number.

Duel after duel, the fighting became harder and harder.

Defeating them hadn’t been easy before, but it only became more difficult with each second that passed.

 _Ten duels,_ Irelia constantly thought, _she only has to win ten duels._

And she had seen Riven climb up to the ninth.

She could see how bruised and battered the former Noxian was, wrecked and exhausted, her _very soul_ being tired, her clothing and skin being decorated with blood both hers and of her enemies, sweat mixing with it, cuts and wounds redecorating her already scarred skin.

But she could also see the fire in her eyes.

She knew she was close to winning her ticket out of Noxus, relatively unscathed.

A sea of bodies, both human and not, all around her.

Irelia still couldn’t believe Riven had managed to kill a minotaur, a griffin, a chimera, creatures she hadn’t seen in a long time or not even at all.

All in the same match.

They had made her pay the price, though: Riven looked like she was about to pass out, exertion written all over her.

The gates opened for her ninth duel to begin.

Eight soldiers with swords, one man dressed on a black robe, no weapon on sight.

It looked _too easy,_ in comparison to everything she had just endured.

The fighting started and Riven swiftly brought down four of the eight soldiers, the remaining ones standing around the man on the robe, as if protecting her.

She narrowed her eyes.

The man was smiling at her.

She felt uneasy, so she lifted her blade, getting ready.

The man lifted his hands slowly—

“Fucking _Hell.”_

That had been Darius.

But Irelia felt the same way.

The sea of bodies around Riven slowly started to rise.

Riven’s eyes darted all around her, desperation getting a hold of her.

_A fucking necromancer._

There were forty five enemies surrounding her, now.

And Riven was already deadly tired.

She didn’t know what the Hell to do.

Irelia was twitching on her seat.

“This is not fair,” She let out between clenched teeth, “That’s all of her previous foes at once, not the _nine_ of this round.”

“It actually _is_ fair,” Swain said, “You see, in the Fleshing, mages are allowed to wield their magic. That man over there is just wielding his magic like Riven wields her sword.”

And Irelia _knew_ he was right, but it was worth the shot.

The bodies stood, nobody moving.

Not even Riven.

Then the necromancer pointed at Riven with one of his slender fingers.

All of the creatures and humans surrounding her turned to look at her.

“Kill her.”

Riven started running as soon as he said that, the dead who surrounded her immediately trying to catch her.

She ran away from the minotaur that charged at her, her eyes on the creature as she ran away—

She stopped dead on her tracks when she realized she had been running towards the pyromancer from the third round—

Irelia’s hands gripped the armrests with all of her strength, her teeth gritting as she saw Riven scream in pain, the pyromancer having set her ablaze.

Riven beheaded the dead woman.

And she knew she shouldn’t have frozen, she knew she shouldn’t have waited to see what would happen, but she did.

She waited to see if the woman would fall.

The body still stood.

And in her stupidity, she set herself up.

The beheaded pyromancer grabbed her by the wrists and Riven tried to pull away and release herself from her grip, but more and more hands started to claw at her as the bodies that stood all around her got closer and closer, gripping her wherever they could, pulling and squeezing and resisting their attempts to fight them off.

Irelia watched with desperation as Riven screamed, mostly out of frustration, but a note of fear had been evident in her voice.

She didn´t know when she had moved over to the railing, she didn’t know when she started leaning over it, all the Ionian was aware of being how she couldn’t hear Riven’s voice anymore, how she couldn’t see her underneath the sea of bodies that covered her.

“ _Riven!”_ Irelia screamed desperately, fear choking her up.

She saw the undead moving over where Riven had been, like a pack of vultures feasting over a dead body.

It made her lose her mind.

Her eyes widened.

_Lose her mind._

Riven seemed to be out of her mind whenever that monstrous power took over.

What could she possibly lose, by testing her theory out?

“Just fucking go _berserk,_ Riven _!”_ She screamed, the fear and anguish translating into fury on her tongue. “Whatever it takes, just fucking _survive!”_

So focused in the scene underneath her, she was completely unaware of how Swain and Darius looked at her, amusement and surprise on their expressions.

They had no clue of what Irelia was trying to do.

“Come on, _bastard!”_ She kept screaming, “You think you’re so intimidating and so scary but you can’t even get to the last round _?_ You’re _pathetic!_ Fucking _useless scum!”_

The whole Arena was quiet.

Even the necromancer was looking at her.

“Maybe you didn’t deserve my forgiveness.”

She hadn’t roared that like she had said everything else.

For her, it had sounded louder, though.

She saw the monsters still tear at her.

She didn’t move her eyes from the scene.

She was hoping, she was waiting to see _something,_ she was clinging to what remained of her hope—

A shockwave of green energy sent creatures flying all over the Arena.

Even Swain got up from his chair. “What in the _Hell?”_

Riven was standing.

Her blade was—

“How in _oblivion—”_ Darius cut himself short.

Because they were all rather confused.

How in _oblivion_ was it possible for her blade to be whole once more?

Irelia couldn’t help but be in awe at how, despite her body being broken, despite the blood that poured out of each of her wounds and bathed her in crimson, she was _still standing._

Her eyes moved to Swain and she saw the shock that contorted his expression, so she dared ask, “Do you see it?” And when his eyes moved to her, “I’m not magical but you clearly are, so _do you see it?”_

Swain’s gaping mouth closed, before he shook his head once. “Brace yourself when you destroy her blade, my dear. She will give you a _Hell_ of a time.”

Irelia nodded her head once, before looking back at the scene underneath her.

Riven’s hair standing on end, her broadsword being held only by one hand, she moved like a deadly whirlwind, dealing blows to each of the creatures that stood around her.

She hit them time after time, but they still remained on their feet.

Seconds passed and Irelia knew she was going to get drained eventually.

Irelia tried to think, tried to come up with a way how Riven could win, searching her mind for everything she knew about magic wielders and necromancers, knowing she _did know_ a bit more than the Noxian—

“ _Kill the necromancer!”_ She screamed at Riven, the thought suddenly hitting her, “ _Kill him and they all die!”_

Riven had heard her, if the way she stared at her from the Arena meant anything.

When Riven turned and looked at the necromancer—

Every single creature in the Arena hurtled themselves at her, attacking ferociously.

Riven slashed her way through them, moving steadily towards the necromancer, screaming at the blade of an undead that pierced her arm, but not caring about the pain as she still gripped her own sword.

The chimera came to stood in front of her—

Riven charged and, letting out a wave of energy coming out of her blade, she split the creature in two and made her way through the cut.

She kept approaching the necromancer, only the soldiers between her and him—

She killed the four of them in four slashes, hissing as a spear reached her thigh, leaving a gaping wound behind.

And when it was only the necromancer, the man brought his hands up, ready to conjure something up—

Riven lunged forwards and the tip of her blade dug deep into the man’s body.

But Riven was not satisfied.

She pushed her blade through and then up, raising the man’s body with the movement, watching as he hung helplessly from her blade, his eyes widening as he felt his lifeforce flying away from his body.

His very soul, running away.

Well, that was what everyone usually thought, though.

For Riven, it didn’t run away; one’s soul would shrink, until it lost control of the body it owned.

So she watched the necromancer lose control.

And when he finally went limp, every creature around her fell to the ground, dead once more.

She let the man fall from her blade, too.

And the moment his body hit the floor, everyone lost their minds in loud roars of cheering.

Silently, Riven walked towards the center of the Arena, her eyes on Swain.

She stood there, unmoving, but Irelia could see it: written all over her stance, the way she gripped her sword, the way her breathing was exaggerated and erratic.

She was done, standing there out of pure instinct, the desire to prove she could still fight, even if she knew it was a lie.

And she still had ten more warriors to fight.

Swain was staring at her.

Everyone was staring at her.

The gates opened.

Riven didn’t turn to look at her opponents; she remained still.

Irelia frowned when she only saw one man coming out.

“Only one?” Irelia asked, then  looked at Darius curiously when she heard him groan. “What’s the matter?”

“That’s—”

The crowds went wild at this man’s presence.

They screamed a name, but the sound was so loud she couldn’t quite hear it.

And then the man said, “Not Draven, _Draaaaven.”_ He stretched the first vowel of his name, slicking his hair down with his hand.

Irelia saw even _Riven_ groan, smacking her forehead with her hand.

_She knows that guy?_

She looked at Darius as he finished his sentence, “—My brother.”

Riven finally turned to look at Draven, watching him wave at the public, before getting a grip on each of his spinning axes, a cocky smile on his face. “Do you know how long I’ve _dreamed_ of this?”

“Of dying to me?”

Draven laughed, apparently unfazed by her jab, “Of having a chance at fighting _the Hand of Noxus,_ at _executing her._ ” He started spinning one of his axes, “Imagine how much _praise_ that will earn me.”

“You’re an attention whore, Draven.” Riven said, nodding her head. “I get it, we get it, we all have always known it.”

“And I’ll get all the attention I want when I’m done with you.”

She barely had time to dodge the axe that was thrown at her face.

She looked up again—

She screamed when the other axe caught her arm, the sharpness of it leaving a gaping wound on her already wounded arm, the piercing attack from the previous round having left a clean through-and-through wound on her bicep

Her blade fell to the ground, suddenly shattered once more, the pieces that had completed it before vanishing into the air.

Irelia couldn’t help the quiet _No,_ that escaped her lips as she shook her head and stared.

Draven’s blades were back on his hands and he deftly spinned them, watching Riven from his spot far from her, the woman still on the center of the Arena, a hand gripping her wounded arm with the strength that remained in her.

He threw both blades at her, the weapons flying low and parallel to the ground—

Riven tried to jump and avoid the hit, but one of her legs got caught by the blade, the greave protecting her from anything too dangerous, but the hit being enough to make her fall to the ground, the former Noxian barely managing to get on her knees as she watched Draven’s axes go back to his hands once more.

She couldn’t stand up, couldn’t move anymore.

She stared at Draven for a second before looking at Irelia on the balcony.

Irelia saw Riven smile, before mouthing _Sorry._

She shook her head, “ _No.”_

Not being able to take Irelia’s expression, she looked up at the sky, her eyes glued to the Eclipse above her head.

_When did you do that, Diana?_

_Nice for the occasion._

She looked at Draven again, the man’s blades at the ready as he brought his arms back, the Glorious Executioner winding up his last attack.

He threw them at her and Riven saw how they dragged across the ground, coming for her like demons from Hell, ready to drag her down and make her drown in the dirt.

Riven shut her eyes closed, bracing for the impact.

The sound of them cutting through earth and dead bodies got louder and louder and she flinched as she waited for them to reach her.

She heard a crashing noise, but she never felt anything.

Dead silence all around her.

Seconds stretched.

She opened her eyes.

There was someone standing right in front of her, her vision of Draven completely blocked by what seemed to be a—

“Are you going to stand up or what?”

Riven’s eyes climbed the woman’s body, reaching her golden eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Not moving her shield from its position, covering them both from Draven, she offered her other hand to Riven, her blade still sheathed against her side. “Diana told me you needed us, so we came to help.”

Riven grabbed Leona’s hand and stood, but she could barely remain on her feet. There was a look of confusion on her face, “I never…” Her hand moved towards her neck.

Her brows rose when she realized she didn’t have the charm on her.

Her eyes moved towards the balcony—

Irelia was looking at the scene, her hand on her neck, realization hitting her just then.

_It was her._

Leona watched as Draven’s blades disembedded themselves from her shield and went right back to him. “Is there a way out of this Arena?”

“Not really,” Riven explained, “And now that you’ve interfered in the Fleshing, I doubt they’ll let us go anyway.”

Leona sighed, “Right.”

Draven started spinning his axes once more and, relentlessly, he threw them at the Targonian.

Leona deflected his blows with her shield, “Can you fight, Riven?”

The former Noxian shook her head, leaning against the auburn haired woman, hiding behind her shield as best as she could, making her work a bit easier, “I can barely stand up.”

“Okay,” Leona said, sounding as calm as ever, “Then we’ll just have to resist for a minute or two.”

Riven frowned.

_A minute or two?_

Meanwhile, Irelia couldn’t believe her eyes.

Leona had intercepted Draven’s blades at the very last minute, no effort needed.

And she was _certain_ she had been the one who summoned the Chosen of the Sun, her hand still toying with the Lunari charm.

Had the Moon heard her prayers?

Had _Diana_ heard her, all this time, every time she prayed?

She gulped at that.

And then she realized; it was _Leona_ in the Arena, not _Diana._

And she must have talked to the Chosen of the _Moon_ , not the Sun.

She turned—

Swain’s magic was gripping her, not letting her move, a serious look in his eye, “What did you do?”

Darius noticed the charm in her hands.

He raised his brows in surprise and he looked like he was about to say something about it, but Swain beat him to it, already seeing the same thing.

“It was _you.”_

He looked _pissed._

“Consider your diplomatic immunity _expired.”_

He brought his hand up, ready to close it in a fist and choke the life out of her—

Out of _absolutely nowhere,_ what looked like a portal opened between Swain and Irelia and the Ionian watched as _Diana_ came out of it, blade at the ready and swinging at the Grand General.

The attack broke his concentration and released Irelia, who quickly summoned her blades to prevent Darius from attacking them, his axe already on his hands.

“What the Hell are you doing here?!”

Diana rushed towards Swain, moving past him and landing behind him, before pushing him into the still open portal, watching as he fell into it and the portal closed, the man gone.

“What do you mean _what am I doing here,_ you called me!” Diana said, tense.

Irelia’s blades moved in formation against Darius and she successfully disarmed him.

“Let’s go,” Diana commanded, before grabbing Irelia and—

The Ionian couldn’t help the scream that escaped her as they fell through a portal and landed in the Arena, both behind Leona’s shield.

Riven looked at Diana—

“No time for that,” The Empyrean said, a glare in her eyes that seemed to only grow even more heated with every passing second as she quickly inspected Riven’s body. 

_She was pissed off._

_And if you ever need my help, call my name at any time of day, beg for me and I swear to my Goddesses that I’ll be there in the blink of an eye and I’ll hunt your enemies down like a demon let loose._

And there she was, in the flesh.

The demon let loose.

Riven lost sight of Diana as the woman rushed away from her.

She moved her eyes towards Draven, only to find him doing his best to fend Diana off, the woman striking viciously.

He met each of her strikes with his axes, trying to move away from her, but the woman proved ferocious as she kept going, anger making her grit her teeth.

“Did you pray while touching the charm?” Riven asked Irelia, her eyes moving from the furious Diana to the confused Irelia.

The Ionian didn’t know where to look, “Maybe?”

They heard the gates to the Arena open.

Diana rushed back to her group and watched the scene around her with them.

The Noxian Army surrounded them.

Darius up at the front.

“Where did you throw Swain to, Diana?” Irelia asked the woman, her blades floating around her.

“Not too far away,” Diana said, “And I didn’t do it.”

“If you didn’t do it, then…?”

The Army took a step forwards.

They were waiting for Darius.

“We can’t fight them off, Diana.” Leona said, her back to the Chosen of the Moon. “There’s too many of them.”

Diana exhaled loudly, “I know.”

“Do you think she’ll be here before they charge?”

“She’d better,” Diana’s eyes narrowed, “Or else she’s—”

Darius started running towards them.

The whole group of people around them did, too.

They saw them coming for them, getting closer and closer—

Riven felt like she was about to pass out, the adrenaline pushing her into an overdrive of sorts, “ _Diana—”_

She screamed like Irelia had done as they felt like they were falling, the scenery right in front of them changing again.

Riven realized they were in Noxus’ outskirts.

“What the Hell—”

Riven went mute as she saw Darius was there with them too, apparently haven’t jumped through the portal with them before it closed, the Noxian already swinging—

Leona’s shield came up and his axe bounced off her as she bashed the golden piece against his weapon.

Riven watched as Darius fought against the Chosen, Diana coming to help her, but the man proving to be lethal enough, being able to fight them both off, struggling but still managing to stand, Irelia surrounding him with her blades, so as to forbid him from escaping—

A strike of golden magic hit him in the face and he took a few steps back to look at—

“A kid?” He questioned, before glaring at her, hearing Diana and Leona _groan._

“ _Zoe!”_

The unison was uncanny.

“We told you to stand _back!”_

Darius brought his axe up, uncaring about who stood in front of him, ready to attack her, use her to manipulate his enemies somehow—

The girl fell through a portal that opened underneath her.

Darius turned around—

He saw her reappear behind Riven.

The former Hand of Noxus was still standing, her blade on her hands as she had picked it up.

Ready to fight until she died.

Darius stared at her.

Slowly, he felt his resolve just…

He sighed, sheathing his axe.

“Let your next stop be Zaun, my Captain.” He said to her, uncaring of the others around them, the way they didn’t know what to do with themselves, for their opponent seemed to wish to fight no longer. “You might find him there.”

_Cyrus._

Irelia realized this was what he was not willing to say to her.

Riven moved towards the bouldering man, “I always knew you’d be better than me, Darius.”

“Do me a favor and never come back.” He said, his voice uncannily soft. “This is clearly not your home anymore.”

And there was no malice behind his voice, no taunt hidden in his words.

He was just being honest.

Noxus was no longer Riven’s home.

“Riven,” She heard Diana say, seeing out of the corner of her eye how a portal opened behind them all. “Time to go.”

“I hope you bring glory to your nation.” She said.

“And I wish you find what you’re looking for.”

It had been genuine.

Without another word, she walked away, Irelia approaching her so as to help her move, the Ionian glancing at Darius and giving him a small nod of her head.

He nodded back, watching as they all disappeared through the girl’s portal.

Gone.

So he turned around and walked back towards his city, already knowing the lie he’d tell Swain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Insane ride amirite? That was long as FUCK to write.
> 
> Thoughts? Leave em below for me to read!!
> 
> Love y'all.


	19. Touchy Topics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they all pass through Zoe's portal, Riven faints and Irelia is left alone with her mind and three Celestials to deal with.

The portal led them to a bushy forest, some place so particularly plain and generic that they could be literally anywhere in Runeterra, the darkness of the night hiding anything that could help them pinpoint where they were.

As the gate through space closed behind them, Riven’s body gave up, supported only by Irelia’s grip on her, the former Noxian’s head hanging almost limply.

Diana rushed towards them and helped the Ionian with getting Riven on the ground, her back against the nearest tree.

The Targonian lifted the girl’s head with her hand, being greeted by tired, red eyes.

“Hey, Diana.” She smiled, “You came.”

There was alarm in her silver eyes, “I promised you I would, didn’t I?” She responded absentmindedly, watching Riven mumble a small  _ You did,  _ before going limp again.

Fear and concern controlled her as she scanned the woman’s whole figure with her sight; deep gashes on her thigh, a  _ hole  _ on her bicep, another deep cut on her arm, burned skin all over…

“I need help,” Diana let out in a quick breath, hearing the quick steps of Leona as she approached, the fear that gripped her heart making her hands tremble as she placed them on the cuts and summoned the Moon’s will, hoping to heal her friend.

Leona inspected her wounds and realized that Diana’s magic alone wouldn’t be enough to fix the mess but what could they possibly do, her own magic being weaker under the Moon? “She’ll bleed out if we don’t—”

As if suddenly snapping out of a trance, Irelia quickly intervened, pushing both Aspects aside, producing a small vial containing some clear liquid out of her pocket. “Take care of the wound on her arm,” She commanded, knowing Diana’s magic could maybe fix that one issue, “I’ll handle the rest.”

The Aspects didn’t question her as they pressed their hands on Irelia’s arm, a third pair of hands joining them as the little girl who accompanied them approached them and helped, too.

Their hands glowing as they worked, Irelia ignored them as she rubbed the thick liquid against Riven’s cuts, her eyes going from the woman’s wounded thigh to her eyes, as if waiting to see her look back at her.

She had to fight the fear that choked her whenever she saw Riven was not responding.

_ She just passed out. _

_ You already knew she’s a weakling. _

So she ignored it all and kept working on her.

The minutes slowly stretched, a group of medics working on a dying patient, but eventually Irelia saw the gaps on Riven’s skin close up, the bleeding subsiding under her persistence.

Irelia let out a long exhale, a sigh of relief that released the chokehold that gripped her throat, her eyes moving then to the three people to her side as they inspected Riven’s arm, her skin marred where the hole had been, but no blood coming out of it.

“What did you do to her?”

Irelia’s eyes moved towards Leona’s. “I used a magical balm a healer from Ionia made for me.” She explained, “It closes up wounds almost immediately, but it doesn’t cure her from anything; she’ll be in some awful pain when she wakes up.”

“But she won’t be dying due to blood loss,” Diana reasoned, “So she’ll be alright.”

Irelia sat back, finally breathing freely. “She’ll be alright.”

Her eyes closed as she let the relief she felt wash over her, Irelia didn’t see the way the little girl looked at her curiously, Diana and Leona eyeing her as she did so.

Feeling the burning stare, she looked at her stalker, a frown on her face as she said, “Are you two mothers, now?”

The kid started complaining, loudly yelling  _ She’s not my mother! Sun one isn’t either! _

And she had to fight the surprise she felt at seeing Diana  _ groan.  _ “There she goes again.” She raised a brow at Irelia, “I hope you’re happy with what you’ve just done.”

“What have I done?”

Diana watched the girl as she stomped her feet on the ground, both Leona and her to each side of the childish one. “You got her upset.” She placed her hands on smaller shoulders, “Zoe,” She started, a stern tone on her voice. “She was just teasing me, let my friend be.”

“I don’t  _ care!” Zoe  _ yelled, crossing her arms in front of her. “I told you guys you could be my big  _ sisters,  _ but I  _ refuse  _ to have parents.” She shrugged, “Been there, done that, no fun.”

Diana groaned, her palm hitting her face, while Leona clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “Now, missus, that’s no way to talk to your moms.”

And Zoe looked ready to throw a tantrum—

Her yelling was instantly muffled by Leona’s clothing as she forcefully hugged Zoe, the kid’s head trapped on the warrior’s arm as she got up from the ground and used her free hand to grind her knuckles against the top of her head.

“ _ My daughter! My silly daughter! My poor little daughter! Stuck with me forever!”  _ She chanted, not allowing the girl to escape her grip as she pestered her endlessly.

“Leona,” Diana started, looking at the situation in front of her, feeling  _ defeated. “ _ I hope you understand that I’m not dealing with her later.” She pointed at her, “ _ You  _ make this mess,  _ you  _ fix it, later.”

Leona winked at her as the only response.

“Where did…” Irelia trailed off, still sitting by the fainted Riven, “Where did that kid come from?”

“She was part of the Lunari, when the Solari and the Lunari were a thing.” Diana started explaining, her eyes still on the two fighting Targonians as they moved a bit away from them in their small war, “A very long time ago, she was Chosen by the Twilight to be her Aspect in this world. She accepted the offer and she’s been gone through time and space ever since.” She sighed, “She came back a few moons ago, hoping to find everything as she had left it, but came to realize things were, once again, different.”

Irelia was staring at the kid as if she had three heads, “She’s  _ older than you,  _ then.”

Diana was  _ grimacing. “ _ In a sense, she is, but in another, she’s still just a child.”

“Where has she been gone to?”

Diana eyed Irelia for a second, “Her job as the Aspect of Twilight is not like the one Leona and I share, as Chosens of the Sun and Moon. Twilight is a fleeting warning of future change, so Zoe is a messenger. She brings news, both good and bad, of events that will happen in the future and might reshape destiny. She’s been gone, travelling from a world to another, fullfilling her job.”

“For how long—”

“We don’t know, but let’s say centuries. Millenia. Whatever suits you.”

Irelia blinked twice, really hard.

Diana, nearing her thirties, had a  _ thousand-year-old _ child.

With Leona, also nearing her thirties.

“Guess Twilight  _ doesn’t  _ really fade, huh.”

Diana glared at Irelia at those words, watching the Ionian shrug.

A thought hit her, then.

“It wasn’t Riven’s voice the one I heard praying. It was yours.”

It made Irelia suddenly sit up in attention.

She looked at Diana, only to find her already staring at her.

Silver eyes then fell on the silver coin that hung from the chain that went around her neck.

“What’s that doing there?”

Irelia swallowed. “Riven gave it to me.”

Diana moved towards her, her eyes going immediately from the Lunari symbol that hung idly from her neck to her icy eyes, “Why?” She asked, a furrowed brow on her face.

“Because I couldn’t sleep at night,” Irelia confessed, “And she told me you’ve blessed this charm.”

Diana’s head lolled to a side.

She hadn’t done that.

She hadn’t told Riven she had done something like that, either.

She narrowed her eyes and looked at the former Noxian, still out cold.

“You prayed to it.” Diana said, instead of anything else. “Had she told you this little charm is a direct link to me or was it just an accident?”

Irelia blushed, “An accident.” She confessed, “Truth be told, I didn’t know you heard whatever prayers were whispered for the Moon.”

“I hear everything my Goddess hears, Irelia,” She replied, the hint of a smirk on her lips, mirth and a knowing look making her silver eyes shine bright, “But what’s whispered with this charm hanging from your fingers doesn’t make it to her; it makes it straight to  _ me.” _

Irelia was blushing, thankful Riven was temporarily out of the picture. “I—”

“I’ve heard your  _ every prayer,”  _ Diana said, “Both before and during the Fleshing. Tell me,” She raised a brow, “Does Riven know the things you’ve accidentally told her dearest friend? Or are those confessions still locked inside your heart?”

Neither Leona nor Zoe were making any noise anymore, both intently listening, Zoe snickering at Diana’s words, Irelia’s blush, the awkward tension the Rakkorian managed to build.

“It must be the first time in your life, Diana, that you’re not oblivious to someone else’s intentions.”

Diana glared at Leona, feeling her face heat up a bit. “Let me be victorious just  _ this one time,  _ please.”

Zoe laughed at them, “Good one,” She said, high-fiving the smirking Leona.

“Thank you.”

Diana merely groaned.

“I haven’t told her anything she doesn’t need to know.”

It made Diana look at Irelia. “ _ She doesn’t need to know?”  _ She questioned, “You thinking of—” She stopped herself as she heard Leona whistle at her, calling her attention, a quiet plea for her to remember her surroundings and the people she was with. “Whatever. Your thoughts are not to be shared with her?”

Irelia shook her head. “And I’d like it to remain that way, if possible.”

Diana’s eyes were hot on hers, “Praying is a one-way means of communication, don’t worry about it. Besides, I’d rather you braved it up and told her yourself.”

Irelia took a deep breath. “Maybe sometime.”

“Hopefully sometime.” Diana said.

And she did not comment on the little white lie that Riven had told her regarding her charm, a thing done clearly to make her rest easier at night.

She didn’t comment on how Riven had stopped praying at night around the same time she had started, either.

She already knew why that happened, the former Lunari being able to connect the dots between the events that happened both before and after Riven’s departure to Ionia.

_ If you must brave it up, she should do the same, too. _

“You don’t seem to happy that I have this little thing.” Irelia’s words made Diana eye her up, before smirking, her stance relaxing.

“I was taken aback, but that’s all. I understand the motives why she had given it to you and I actually think it was very nice of her.”

Irelia raised her brows, surprised.

She had expected Diana to be more…

_ Possessive? _

_ Jealous? _

And why was she thinking of a jealous Diana?

_ Snap out of it. _

“Diana,” Leona’s voice made them both look at her, who was pointing at Zoe.

The girl looked a bit nervous, shifting on her feet, her big eyes moving to Diana’s as she said, “I have an icky feeling about the warrior...”

Diana’s eyes shot up towards Leona’s, looking for an explanation— “Pantheon.”

Diana sighed, nodding her head, “Okay, okay.” She said, her eyes going back to Zoe’s. “What do you feel?” She questioned rather gently.

Zoe shook her head, a frown on her face. “I don’t know, but it’s...” She searched for a word, but lacked it, settling for a small, “Important.”

Diana nodded her head. “Okay,” She looked at Leona, “We should head back, see what’s going on.”

Leona was frowning, “Right.”

Diana turned, looking at Irelia, still on the ground, next to Riven. “We must return to Targon.” She announced, watching as Irelia nodded her head. “Where will you go?”

“To Zaun.” She said, her eyes on the unconscious warrior. “Darius said we should head there.”

Diana nodded, “Alright.” She said, before she looked at Zoe, thinking. She turned to look at Irelia once more, “Give me a minute.”

She stood next to Zoe and disappeared through a portal.

Irelia frowned. “What the—”

She couldn’t finish her thought for they reappeared in front of them, a carriage coming out of the portal, too, its’ driver looking disoriented as Hell.

“We’re in the forests near Noxus, right outside the Empire.” Diana explained, pointing in one direction, “If you go straight  _ that  _ way,” She pointed to the opposite side, “You’ll get out of this forest and find the entry to the city of Piltover.”

Irelia frowned, “ _ Piltover _ ? Isn’t there a way to go straight to Zaun?”

Diana shook her head. “To enter Zaun, you must go through Piltover first.”

“We’ve never been there, how do you know this all?”

Diana looked at Leona, “That  _ you  _ haven’t been there doesn’t mean I haven’t either.”

Leona raised her brows, a silent gasp on her mouth, “ _ When?!” _

Diana shrugged. “Ask the Moon. I only follow her orders.” And before Leona could protest, Diana was looking at Irelia once more, “This man will take you there.” She quickly explained, before taking a step towards Irelia, her hands on the Ionian’s shoulders, “Use the charm if you need our help.”

“Not to be rude, but I hope we don’t use it again.”

Diana smiled at Irelia’s words, “Funny, Riven had said the same thing when I gave it to her.” She turned around, walking towards Leona and Zoe, “Maybe you two have way more in common than you think.”

“Maybe we do.”

Or maybe it was just common sense.

The three of them stood together, Zoe in between the Aspects of the Sun and Moon, “Safe travels, Irelia.” Diana said, the three of them disappearing through a portal.

“Safe travels.” She mumbled as a response, even if they couldn’t hear her.

She looked at the very confused man on the carriage, who stared right back at her, his expression one of fear and awe. “I’m guessing you’re my new passenger?”

Irelia nodded her head, “ _ We  _ are your passengers,” She said, before wrapping her arms around the unconscious Riven and lifting her up, slowly making her way towards the carriage’s door.

She saw the man jump off the driver’s seat and rush towards her, opening the door for them.

She ignored how she had seen recognition shine in his eyes at the sight of Riven, how he had inhaled sharply at the look of the warrior, injured and unconscious.

She placed Riven on the seat opposite to hers, before going out and picking up her blade.

Irelia wondered for a second whether she should abandon it there or not.

She narrowed her eyes at the weapon.

_ No. _

_ Swain had told me to  _ destroy it _ , not to just  _ get rid of it.

So she brought it back to the carriage with her, letting it rest next to her as she took a seat and closed the door.

Wordlessly, somewhat aware that the Ionian Captain was not one interested in talking much, the driver commanded the horses to gallop.

Minutes turned into hours and all Irelia could do was stare at the passed out woman in front of her.

The bleeding had successfully stopped, but she knew that all the internal damage was still there, the balm she had used being nothing but a band aid of sorts.

It worried her, to say the least.

It also made the relief she felt at seeing Riven crack one eye open maximize.

She watched the former Noxian as she slowly blinked, looking around in confusion but unable to conjure up alertness, her body under too much pain for her to even try to move, let alone rapidly.

Irelia did notice Riven’s shoulders relaxing as red eyes fell on her, though. “Where are we?”

“On our way to Zaun,” Irelia replied, “Safe.”

Riven nodded her head a bit, “Okay,” She said in her croaky voice, sighing as she rubbed her eyes with her thumb and index, going through everything that had happened not too long ago in her head, “Where’s Diana, Leona...?”

She trailed off because all she could think was the fact that she  _ had seen a kid  _ with them.

_ Who was that kid? Where did she come from? _

“Back in Targon. Zoe said there was something weird about some man called  _ Pantheon  _ and they all left through one of her portals.”

She saw Riven  _ flinch  _ at that, the curiosity in her eyes gone. “What did Pantheon do?”

Irelia raised a brow, “You know him?”

Riven nodded her head, “Aspect of War.” She offered as an explanation. “I know, kind of unexpected to have an  _ Aspect of War  _ when all the Aspects you’ve met thus far were the Sun and the Moon—”

“And the Twilight.”

Riven frowned, “Twilight?”

“You mean to tell me you didn’t know the little girl that was with them?”

Riven’s eyes widened, “That’s the  _ Zoe  _ you mentioned earlier?”

“You didn’t know about her?” She saw Riven shake her head, “Oh, well,” She thought about what Diana had told her for a second, “She was a Lunari who got Chosen by the Twilight to be her Aspect. She’s been gone for millenia doing her job as a messenger and, when she came back, she realized the Lunari no longer existed.”

Riven raised her brows in surprise, her mouth forming a small  _ Oh.  _ “Must have been a shocker for her.”

Irelia nodded her head, “I can only imagine.”

Riven frowned at her, eyes unfocused before she finally said, “So what did Pantheon do?”

Irelia shrugged, “I don’t know. Zoe didn’t say.”

Riven nodded once, “Okay.”

A beat.

Then,

“You could have told me this thing pretty much called Diana.”

Riven’s eyes moved towards the necklace, “I forgot to comment on that tiny detail.” She sincerely said, before stating, “You prayed during my Fleshing.” She saw Irelia nod her head, “To the Moon?”

Irelia shrugged, “To anyone who was listening, but yeah. The Moon.” When she saw how Riven nodded her head in response, she continued, “I didn’t expect Leona to suddenly appear in front of you.” She raised her brows, “Nor Diana to appear through a portal with a  _ little girl.” _

And despite those wounds that jabbed at her insides, Riven chuckled, “She does have a flair for the unexpected, doesn’t she?

Irelia nodded her head, a smirk drawing itself on her lips, “Like she was born for it.”

“I wish I had the chance to bid her farewell before she left,” Riven confessed as she looked away, shrugging a bit, “It’s been too long since we had last seen each other.”

And she hadn’t meant to sound so hurt about it.

She hadn’t expected the Ionian to catch it, either.

Irelia leaned forwards a bit, resting her hand on the other woman’s knee, if only to call her attention, “I think she wanted to wait for you to wake up. She looked kind of annoyed at the fact that she had to leave so soon, but it’s not like she could push it until later,” She was frowning, “I don’t know, but Zoe sounded very concerned and I’m guessing neither Leona nor Diana take her opinion lightly.”

Riven raised a brow, “She’s a kid.”

“She looked more like a teenager,” Irelia said, raising a brow, “We call her a kid because we’re  _ that  _ kind of people but she wasn’t that young. Besides,” She leaned back on her seat, “She’s  _ older  _ than both Leona and Diana; I  _ did  _ tell you she had been travelling around for a millenia, didn’t I?”

“You meant that  _ literally?” _

Irelia nodded, before chuckling at the bewildered look on Riven’s face. “Yes, the fountain of youth exists, apparently.”

Riven let out a low whistle. “Apparently so, indeed.” She frowned, then. “What kind of people are we?”

Irelia smirked, “The insufferable kind.”

And Riven tried to laugh, but the pain caught her mirth short.

“Are you okay?”

The Noxian shook her head. “Absolutely everything hurts.” She inspected herself for the first time since waking up, frowning at her lack of cuts, “But everything seems fine?”

“On the outside,” Irelia said, moving from her seat to Riven’s, sitting next to the Noxian, inspecting her with her eyes, prodding a bit where she knew cuts had been. “You’re still hurt on the inside.”

Riven stared at her, a vacant expression on her face.

Truth be told, she was trying not to laugh at the irony of it all.

It would hurt, after all.

_ Life imitates art. _

“At least we’re not the kind of people both Diana and Leona seem to be.”

Irelia raised a brow at that, “Which would be…?”

“The kind who are parents to a child that could be their great-grandparent.”

And she couldn’t help the smile that landed on her face as she saw Irelia laugh at that.

“I can’t believe they’re mothers.”

“Who even allowed that to happen? Don’t they know that they’re both hazards to themselves and Runeterra on itself?”

Irelia kept laughing at her words, “Riven!”

“It’s the truth! You haven’t  _ lived  _ with those two.” She said, exaggerating her words, “They’re children… literally, apparently, if we compare them to their adoptive daughter.”

“ _ Stop!” _

Riven obliged, if only because the pain she felt begged her to remain quiet.

The mirth in those blue eyes made her want to go on, though.

The ease she felt soon subsided as she realized she didn’t have her blade by her side. Alertness making her eyes go wide, Riven looked around for a few good seconds before finally seeing it, discarded on the seat opposite to theirs. “You picked up my blade.”

She tried not to flinch at the way it made Irelia’s mood swing. “I did.”

Despite the pain she felt, Riven made a move to grab the sword—

Irelia grabbed her by the wrist, gently, yet stopping her attempt. “I considered leaving it behind,” She said, making the former Noxian look at her.

“You did?” A nod of Irelia’s head. “What made you change your mind?”

“This blade is  _ poison  _ to you,” Irelia started, “Anyone with eyes can see it, Riven.” She saw the warrior was about to protest, yet she went on, “We need to get rid of it: I didn’t leave it behind because Swain told me to  _ destroy it,  _ not to abandon it.”

It didn’t sit well with her. “You’re not destroying my blade.”

“Oh, but I am.”

She was not playing.

At all.

“The broken runes on it rot your mind.” Irelia went on, “They do nothing but harm you. We  _ must—” _

“You’re not going to destroy—”

“Why do you even care, anyway?” Irelia questioned, a bothered frown on her face, “You  _ shattered it  _ in the first place, might as well finish what you started so long ago.”

It was enough to quiet down Riven, the fight in her halting, because it made  _ sense;  _ Irelia’s words made  _ sense. _

Didn’t mean she felt okay with it, though.

She couldn’t pinpoint what it was for her common sense, her logic, her very  _ soul  _ told her that Irelia was  _ right. _

But there was something far bigger than her, growling at the thought and begging her to say  _ no. _

And she couldn’t give a name to it.

A part of her was afraid of giving it a name.

_ It’s been with me for so long… _

And yet she never addressed it directly.

The creature that brought the voices to her head, the ghosts to her reality.

She sighed, leaning back against the seat, moving away from Irelia. “I’m not okay with this.”

Irelia crossed her arms, mimicking what Riven had done. “No one said you had to be,” She eyed her from where she was, “But it still has to be done.”

And they remained like that, in a dead silence.

For hours.

Not even looking at each other.

Riven was simply pissed off.

Irelia…

Irelia was relieved, to be honest.

She didn’t care about the fact that Riven seemed more hellbent on disliking her, at the moment.

She was glad the other woman was  _ alive. _

“You had been right, in the end.” She said, making Riven look at her, “About Darius. He really was simply loyal to you.”

“Guess those loyalties are now far gone, though.” Riven said, looking away once more. “I believe that was the last time he would betray Noxus for me.”

Irelia thought about it, “Yeah, but it’s probably for the best; this way you’re free from Noxus and he’s free from his ties to you.” And she watched as Riven nodded her head, her brows raised as she found herself agreeing, before adding, “Besides, his last act of loyalty to you meant that he will have to keep a lie up in front of Swain.” She saw how Riven’s head turned to look at her, “You clearly don’t remember Swain implying that nobody knew Cyrus’ whereabouts.”

Those eyebrows remained up. “I really don’t. He did that?”

Irelia nodded her head. “He claimed Cyrus would be dead by now, had Noxus known where he was. Apparently this was false, since Darius knew, told us about it and confirmed that Cyrus is still alive.” She raised a brow, “And I bet that, whatever Darius knows, Swain knows it too, so it was a  _ deliberate  _ lie.”

Riven frowned. “What reason could he possibly have to lie to us?”

“I don’t know, but whatever it is, we should keep it in mind.”

Riven grunted in agreement.

Silence reigned once more.

And as the carriage gently rocked with every movement forwards it made, both Riven and Irelia were lulled to sleep, even against their will to remain awake.

* * *

 

Riven couldn’t remember the last time she had been woken up by being thrown around.

She couldn’t remember the last time she had been woken up by something other than her own mind.

_ No, wait. _

_ Irelia, on the ship. _

No matter the case, she could only be certain of what a hard time she was having, trying to comprehend what was going on as she felt gravity around her shift, her body in the air, before falling abruptly to the ground.

Well,  _ the ground. _

One could hardly call the carriage’s wall  _ the ground. _

She quickly realized the small wagon she had been travelling in was sideways, the Noxian currently staring at the seat she had been on, standing right in front of her on its’ side, her feet planted on the broken window she had used as a very rough pillow just mere moments ago.

Her body was still too sore, her internal wounds still too much of a mess for her to even attempt to move—

_ Where’s Irelia. _

She looked up, where the other wall of the carriage should be.

The skies greeted her.

Well,  _ the skies. _

Could you really call it  _ the skies  _ if it was just a grey cloud of smog, tall buildings clawing at it as if they were desperately searching for fresh air?

The point remained that Irelia was nowhere to be seen.

Standing still was  _ not  _ an option.

So Riven picked up her blade and, damning every bone in her body for not healing fast enough, she climbed out of the wrecked vehicle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we enjoying? I surely hope we are.
> 
> Lengthier comments, happier writer, yaddah yaddah yaddah!
> 
> (Also, would any of you would be interested in me taking writing commissions? Let's discuss.)


	20. Freeze!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riven gets out of her destroyed carriage only to find Irelia facing off a blue haired maniac.

The City of Progress must be a sight to behold; skyscrapers that seem able to touch the clouds, steam coming out of machines that appear to be  _ alive,  _ cultures from different parts of the world clashing in the most diplomatic of ways, exchanges happening constantly, all the time, everywhere.

Yes. Piltover, the City of Progress, must be a wonderful sight to behold.

Riven could only imagine.

She could only imagine the blue, clear skies as she faced the grey, smoggy ones, the golden buildings as she stared at dark ones, worn by age and pollution, unable to do more than picture the wonderfully intricate machinery that probably roamed the city’s streets, a stark contrast to the dangerous-looking pieces of clockwork that lurked around, a difference as big as the one between the cultural exchanges of Piltover and those happening all around her, their mere existence being the definition of dubious nature.

But she wouldn’t stop to ask any questions, she wouldn’t do anything but focus on the task at hand.

That task being to ensure Irelia’s safety, who was being chased by a blue haired girl, a pink machine of sorts on her hands.

The carriage crashed and destroyed, the driver killed and the horses free, Riven willed her body into action, limping her way towards the Ionian, who was currently moving in zig zag, erratically jumping from one place to another, sending blade after blade towards the skinny girl who seemed to be deflecting them somehow as she tried to take aim, Irelia being her target.

“Stay still!” She screamed at Irelia, the sound demonically excited, as if the mere idea of death spurred an ecstasy-induced adrenaline in her, “I’m trying to shoot you, damnit!”

Irelia kept throwing her blades at the girl, who Riven noticed was  _ shooting them down _ , quickly aiming and letting the machine —a weapon, the Noxian noticed —on her hands stop them from coming, projectiles being shot at each of the Ionian’s attempts.

The girl had to be a very skilled shooter, she thought, if all it took for her to hit Irelia’s blades was only one try for each.

She saw Irelia look at her, the Captain freezing for a second.

It prompted the blue haired girl to turn around, her shockingly long braids whipping around as she did so.

Riven saw pink eyes widen at the sight of her, before the maniatic smile disappeared behind an open mouth, ready to speak, “Oh, does the quick-moving girl have a cripple  _ girlfriend _ ?”

Riven looked rightfully  _ pissed off  _ at that. “Who do you think you’re calling a  _ cripple?” _

She didn’t care about being called Irelia’s  _ girlfriend,  _ to be fair.

And after a perturbing giggle, she saw the pink eyed girl take aim at her, “Duck.”

Riven dashed to a side, barely missing the bullets that came out of the pink gun on the girl’s hands.

The girl laughed enthusiastically, “Another runner! Okay, cripple,” She smiled viciously, “ _ Run!” _

Riven didn’t look back as she sped her way to Irelia, zig-zagging like she had seen the Captain do before, letting that unnatural adrenaline she usually felt fuel her movements, making her forget about the pain for a second and the projectiles that chased after her.

She reached Irelia as bullets kept raining down on them, Irelia’s blades barely managing to fend them off. “What the Hell is going on?!”

“Hell if  _ I  _ know!” Irelia roared back, moving her hands, her legs, her  _ body  _ in a careful yet quick tempo, willing her blades to protect them, “One moment everything was fine and then that girl destroyed our carriage!”

“Why?!”

“ _ I don’t know!” _

The flurry of blades that protected them from the bullets rendered them unable to see the girl, but when they realized they couldn’t hear bullets being shot anymore, Irelia stopped their movement—

—Only to see the girl with a dark blue weapon shaped like a shark aiming at them, its’ weight supported by her shoulder.

Riven felt her heart drop in fear, “Shit.”

The girl smiled, “Smell you never.”

And they watched as the shark’s maws lit up with fire, before a humongous rocket came out of it.

Irelia brought her blades up, but Riven knew it wouldn’t be enough.

So the former Noxian jumped in front of the Captain and summoned up her runic shield, covering herself behind her broken sword, too.

They shut her eyes closed as the rocket broke through Irelia’s barrier, unscathed.

When the rocket came into contact with Riven’s shield, it proved to be a force to be reckoned with, as it  _ pushed through it,  _ too.

The psychopath’s missile exploded as it came into contact with the warrior’s dark broadsword, releasing a shockwave that pushed both Riven and Irelia backwards, sending them flying away before they fell to the ground.

Irelia landed forcefully, her head crashing against the concrete, a deafening ringing in her ears as she tried to gather her turning surroundings, her eyes instantly landing on Riven and trying to focus, the Captain frowning as she saw the former Noxian get bigger and bigger.

_ No. Closer and closer. _

Riven was running towards her, dropping to her knees harshly as she reached her, blood bathing her forehead, “Let’s go!” She said quickly, trying to help Irelia to her feet, her eyes looking frantically from the fallen woman to the crazy girl, “Come on!”

She helped Irelia onto her feet and they started running, not daring to look back.

They saw things around them explode as they ran, aimlessly navigating the streets, the blue haired girl launching missiles towards them and always missing narrowly.

Riven tried to ignore her own thoughts, those voices that usually spat poison into her brain telling her this time that this girl was missing on  _ purpose,  _ toying with them and finding amusement on the unnecessary destruction.

And for the first time in forever, she had to admit she was agreeing with them.

They ran and ran, aware of how they were being chased by the psychopath, taking turn after turn, pushing passersby aside and objects behind them, hoping to stop the killer from catching them, having even taken to the smaller alleyways.

But the girl was ravenous for them, as if she had just smelled their blood on the water, her chase not being slowed down by the obstacles that the fleeing women created for her, the challenge being happily accepted by her.

They ran through one final alley and ended up hitting a very crowded street that seemed to be home to a rather busy market.

“This way,” Riven said, not allowing them to stop, running through the market as they could, ignoring the chitchat and the people who surrounded them.

The scenery around them seemed to slowly shift, the dark hues of rotten buildings blending into a more golden scenario, brighter than the smoggy obscurity of before as they moved through it, running for dear life as they heard the screams of people all around them, running for their lives in fear of the blue haired demon that chased after them.

They managed to get out of the market and into some cleaner streets, explosions still roaring all around them, so they kept running.

And that’s when they start hearing a siren, from afar.

Riven had had enough, already, “ _ What else!?”  _ She screamed, annoyed already, completely unaware of whatever the sound she heard meant.

Then they heard a booming voice, apparently magnified by a machine since it sounded so unnatural, so inhuman yet so much like a replica of something as mundane as that as it said, “ _ Freeze! Don’t move!” _

As if on queue, the sound of a mechanical roar came to life from behind them, approaching them, before they heard the maniac’s voice as she said in a singsong voice, “See you later, girlfriends! Say hi to Hat Lady for me!”

So Riven and Irelia watched as the blue haired psychopath  _ flew away,  _ riding her blue rocket launcher to do so.

But the siren kept roaring.

So Riven kept pushing, kept trying to run away, getting once more into alleyways as the sirens sounded louder and louder.

They stopped moving as they hit a dead end.

Then Riven heard Irelia let out a painful scream.

She turned and looked at the Ionian, only to see her foot, caught on what looked like a trap, the device’s claws digging into her ankle.

The Captain leaned against the wall that prevented them from running further, her hands digging into the metallic fangs, trying to open them up. “I’ll be fine,” She announced.

And once they did, they saw one of the walls that surrounded them suddenly give in, some feet away, as if something had easily charged through it.

Someone.

Debris moved away and they saw a pink, short-haired woman with humongous mechanical gauntlets turning to look at them, goggles on her eyes preventing dust from getting into them.

Riven pulled out her sword and stepped forwards, ready to fight her while Irelia tried to release herself.

And that was when Irelia noticed it.

The dents on its’ cutting edge, missing pieces, the cracks on the darker part of the black blade.

Had it all been there, before?

She was certain it hadn’t.

Her brows rose.

_ The explosion cracked it. _

“Why do you punks always feel the need to  _ run?”  _ The confident voice of the brawler echoed around them. “It’s fine though,” She smirked, “I like the hard way better.”

And then Irelia saw those gauntlets light up, a revving sound coming from them.

She had an idea, but she needed more proof of it being possible.

Riven remained quiet, no response for the fighter in front of her as she got her sword ready.

The pink haired woman charged towards her.

Riven dashed to a side, dodging the attack but barely managing to do so, the exhaustion of her pain making her awfully slower.

The brawler stopped her charge as soon as she failed and turned, throwing a jab and a cross at Riven, who blocked them with her sword, the boxer being far too fast with her hands for her to dodge.

And Irelia saw it again.

The cracks on the blade were getting longer with each blow the woman received.

Her theory confirmed.

The pink haired woman kept throwing punches, cornering Riven against a wall.

Her gauntlets glowed in a blue light, steam coming off them as she prepared to strike Riven with both fists at once.

The warrior saw it coming and summoned up her runic shield, weakened by her exhaustion, but still present.

The strike of the brawler’s gauntlets against her shield pushed her backwards, buying Riven space to move around.

It seemed to only rile the fighter up, a smirk on her lips as she stood straight, “I’ll show you.” She said, the only warning she gave before she pointed at Riven and quickly ran towards her.

Knowing those gauntlets could destroy her every bone if they touched her, Riven hid behind her sword and braced for impact, already too tired to move aside.

Despite the pugilist’s hands coming into contact with the blade and not Riven’s body, the uppercut she received was forceful enough that she was knocked high in the air, her breath being knocked out of her lungs at the impact.

Her blade cracking beyond repair.

As the brawler chased after her, jumping high in the air with her, she got ready for a final strike, her hands up above her head, ready to come down on Riven’s head.

Riven could only stare, her blade on her hands, but not coming to work as a shield again, the former Noxian aware of how close to breaking it was.

Irelia saw her opportunity.

Before the pink haired woman could finish her attack, she rushed her blades towards them.

With a flick of her arms, she willed them to press their flat side against Riven’s arm.

And they pushed it.

Riven’s eyebrows rose in surprise at the contact, a silent gasp on her throat as she watched her dark blade suddenly appear in front of her, between her and the brawler.

And then those gauntlets came down on her, their mechanical power at top notch.

And as Riven’s blade shattered into millions of fragments, the runic power the blade contained was released, the shockwave pushing Riven against the wall Irelia was leaning against, the former Noxian hitting her head against it before falling and landing on the ground with a dry thud, unconscious.

The pink haired woman prowled her way towards them, hands up and ready—

Irelia summoned her blades back to her and allowed them to strap themselves to her back as she raised her hands in surrender.

The fighter dropped into a crouching position if front of her, a smirk on her lips as she carefully used two of those oversized fingers to move her goggles away, allowing Irelia to see her eyes, the tattoo on her left cheek. Violet eyes studying blue ones, she said, “I’m glad to see you  _ do  _ understand what  _ don’t move  _ means.”

And behind the crouching pugilist, Irelia saw a woman with eyes as cold as hers staring at her.

A deadly looking weapon, much like the psychopath’s in nature yet at the same time very different on style resting on her delicate-looking hands.

A top hat on her head, long, dark blue-ish hair falling gracefully on her shoulders.

“I’m guessing you’re the  _ Hat Lady?” _

She pulled two pairs of handcuffs from her belt and handed them to the pink haired woman, “Unnecessarily brutish, Vi, but a good job anyways. Cuff them both.”

_Vi,_ Irelia presumed, since both the _Hat Lady_ and the tattoo on her face identified her as that, had a victorious look to her vibrant eyes, “Right away.” She said, bringing Irelia’s hands behind the Ionian’s back in a rather uncannily gentle manner, considering the gauntlets she wore, before the Captain of the Ionian Guard could hear the faint _click_ of the cuffs locking her wrists in place.

She saw the woman with the top hat click a button on her gun and the trap that hurt her ankle automatically released her, “You’re coming with us.” She announced to Irelia, her voice laced with a thick, posh accent very unlike the psychopath’s or Vi’s, “And don’t you even think of running away.”

Irelia shakily got up on her feet, but remained still, “Wasn’t planning on it.”

The light-blue eyed woman offered a polite smirk. “Good.” She turned, “Follow me.”

Irelia obliged, looking back at Riven as Vi cuffed her and picked her up, placing her on her shoulder and walking behind them.

Her eyes then scanned the alleyway as they left it.

Black crystals decorated it.

_ Mission accomplished, Swain. _

“We’ll stop by the hospital, the unconscious one needs medical attention,” That rich voice and posh accent said once more, Irelia seeing Vi nod her head once as she got the message.

They reached what Irelia judged that looked like a vehicle and the top hat woman opened the door, before softly —though forcefully, at the same time— pushing her in, letting Vi place Riven at her side afterwards.

Once the door closed, Irelia allowed herself to look at Riven, her head bathed in blood, the woman completely unconscious.

She couldn’t pull her eyes from her.

The long haired woman climbed into the front seat ahead of Irelia, the brawler on the one to its’ right.

As yet another engine revved up, the vehicle sped up, the siren that had followed them before coming back to life, the  _ Hat Lady  _ controlling the vehicle as her hands landed on a wheel and commanded the mechanical thing to move as she desired, the four of them dodging other cars and people as they rushed towards the hospital.

So Irelia sighed, leaning back against the seat, eyes never leaving Riven’s figure.

_ Desintoxication will be long now, he said. _

_ I hope you’re alive for it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter in comparison to others, no?
> 
> To be honest, I wanted to get it done with this one since... Idk i'm not a fan??? huh.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	21. Variation Under Domestication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the Sheriff's office, Irelia gets tamed, a looming question keeping them tense: can a Noxian be domesticated, too?

Piltover was a city made out of  _ speed. _

Irelia could see that much.

She had been able to witness it in many things.

She had seen it in the way the scenery shifted rapidly behind Riven as she kept an eye on her, the vehicle they were in speeding through the city at an immense velocity.

She had watched that speed go up a notch the moment they arrived at the hospital, paramedics and policemen quickly taking Riven away, no matter how much she complained and tried to fight her way through them, so as to go with her.

She had felt it when the woman with the top hat and the brawler with  _ VI  _ tattooed on her face flanked her and rushed her towards a room, keeping an eye on her as a nurse patched her up.

She had tried to fight it when the two officers that kept her company had forced her into the car once more, telling her they’d take her to the police station, forcing her to leave Riven behind.

She only stopped witnessing such speed right then and there, in the top hat woman’s office, where the world suddenly seemed to stop spinning, the only indication of it going on being the ticking of a clock that hung from a wall.

It only infuriated her even more whenever she thought of the irony of it all; the city of speed decided to slow down the moment her heart decided to join the race.

She felt like running out of the office and back to the hospital but all she could do was remain seated by a chair, her hands still cuffed behind her back.

She let out a long exhale in a deep sigh and looked around the room a bit, ignoring the hot stares of blue and violet eyes.

The room was small yet smart, a door with a textured glass being it’s only entry, a coat rack standing to its’ right and the ticking clock hanging on the wall to its’ left, tall libraries on the walls to each side of her, stacked with books she trusted their owner didn’t even know what they talked about, a deep red carpet on the floor, a desk laid above it with lots of paperwork scattered over it and a small golden plate on it that read  _ Sheriff Caitlyn _ , the chair behind it empty, with Vi and the woman with the top hat standing right behind it, a big window that occupied all of the far end wall making Irelia squint her eyes a bit, the light that came through it being a bit blinding, not letting her see the City of Progress underneath the evening Sun, behind the glass.

It reminded her of her own office, a bit.

It only looked more…

... _ Fast? In a way? _

As if the owner lived on a rush, even more so than she did.

_ Life in the fast lane. _

This office looked even more sober than hers did, if such a thing were possible.

But still, it did let her know that the owner of such a room was just like her, in many ways.

Her eyes landed on the two women in front of her, who were still quiet and staring at her; Vi looking uncannily normal without her armor and gauntlets, wearing only a white tank top and black, skin-tight jeans, while the other officer was still on that purple dress she wore, her top hat hanging idly from the coat rack by the door.

_ If she’s Vi, you must be the so called Sheriff Caitlyn. _

_ So  _ you  _ are the boss, here. _

The boss’ eyes moved towards the pink haired brute’s eyes, “Go on,” She said, motioning with her hand from the brawler to Irelia, as if inviting her to approach her.

Violet eyes blinked once as she seemed to snap out of it, “Right,” She mumbled, pulling a piece of paper out of her pocket and smacking it against the desk, “Let’s get this over with, shall we?” She asked, her eyes going from the paper —a picture, as Irelia saw an image and no text on it —to Irelia’s cold, blue eyes. “The security cameras from the area nearby the Boundary Markets caught you and your white haired friend, running around with none other than  _ Jinx.  _ What happens in Zaun is none of our business, but the moment you stepped into Piltover all that we were able to see was your friend,  _ Jinx  _ and you, wrecking the Market, right before she got on her rocket’s back and escaped the scene, waving you goodbye; it pushes us to think you may be affiliated with her so I will ask this and I will ask it  _ once,”  _ And she was trying so hard to sound both serious and stern, all of it sounding so artificial on such a laid back woman, “May you explain what you both were doing there?”

Irelia was looking at her with a frown, her lip up in a grimace as she regarded Vi. “Who the  _ fuck  _ is  _ Jinx?” _

Vi’s eyes were slightly wide, her mouth agape, while the Sheriff’s expression was one of smugness.

The blue haired woman opened her mouth to speak—

“Don’t even think about it,” Vi said, before groaning.

“If you don’t listen to me, why should  _ I  _ listen to  _ you?”  _ Caitlyn questioned, still looking cocky. “I  _ told you  _ that they didn’t even  _ know  _ who Jinx is, Vi.” She looked at Irelia, then, “She doesn’t even look Piltovian, let alone Zaunite.”

“They were both  _ armed!” _

“Yes, with  _ swords,”  _ Caitlyn retorted, “And they were  _ running away  _ from Jinx.”

The pink haired woman seemed to be about to lose her mind, “ _ Jinx waved them goodbye before leaving!” _

“ _ She does that to us too!” _

And that made Vi give up, groaning as she smacked her face with her hand. “Fine, Cait. You win.”

“When do I lose?” Caitlyn said arrogantly, moving to seat on her chair, right in front of Irelia. “My apologies for that,” She said, her eyes again on Irelia. “You see, my partner believed that you and your friend were involved with Jinx, somehow, and I decided to let her make a fool of herself, if only to teach her a lesson, the hard way.” She didn’t bother hiding the smirk on her face as Vi groaned again, moving to stand behind her chair, a bit to a side, resting her hand on Caitlyn’s armrest.

“Okay, I understand,” Irelia started, still tense, “You allowed her to make a mistake, she did and now she’s being humiliated by it, whatever.” Irelia ignored their curious looks, “But it means I’m innocent and there’s no real motive to arrest me, so let me go,  _ now.” _

“Now, now,” Caitlyn started, a certain tone of authority on her voice, “It’s not that easy, either.” She warned, “Let’s begin with the basics; you probably already know this by force of deduction, but let me introduce ourselves. My name is Caitlyn and I’m the Sheriff of this city.” She turned towards Vi, “This is Vi, the Enforcer of this city.” She then looked at Irelia, “As you may imagine, my job as the Sheriff is to know  _ who  _ everyone who walks around Piltover is and I must admit: I do not know who you are.” Caitlyn confessed, a frown on her face. “I can tell you’re not from here, your clothing being enough evidence of it, telling me you must be from Ionia.” She raised a brow, “Far away from home, aren’t we?”

Irelia was  _ not  _ having fun. “Release me  _ right now.” _

“I’m afraid I can’t until I know for sure that you’re not a menace and you’re not running away.” Caitlyn said, before narrowing her eyes. “Right now, not cooperating with the police forces, you’re nothing but a criminal, so I’m definitely  _ not  _ releasing you—”

“I’m Irelia Lito, the Captain of the Ionian Guard and Ionia’s temporary governor.”

They all remained in silence.

Caitlyn held her stare for a second, before closing her eyes, sighing quietly. “Release her, Vi.”

The Enforcer looked at her with wide eyes and a gaping mouth, before letting out a bellowing laugh, “I can’t believe—”

“Quiet down.”

“She just got you so fucking good—”

“ _ Vi,”  _ Caitlyn growled, a glare on her face, “ _ Cut it out.” _

And the Enforcer quieted down at that, obeying her, but she kept snickering nonetheless, mumbling under her breath a quick,  _ I can’t believe you played her that good, congratulations,  _ as she uncuffed Irelia, before moving towards the door and laying against it.

A subtle way of telling the Captain she was not to leave the office anytime soon.

“What are you doing in Piltover?”

“I didn’t mean to come to Piltover,” Irelia replied to Caitlyn, “I meant to go to Zaun.”

“And why do you want to go to Zaun?”

“That’s not your jurisdiction and, therefore, none of your business, either.”

Vi howled from her spot behind Irelia, “Damn, Cupcake, miss  _ Lito _ here seems to be getting you really good, today.”

Cailtyn closed her eyes. “Vi, you dare open your mouth once more and I will fire you.”

She didn’t reply.

The Sheriff looked at Irelia, once more. “I see you’ve quickly caught up with Piltover’s police department’s politics and rules, Captain Lito, but we will consider this one case as particularly  _ special,  _ since we’re dealing with the  _ Leader of Ionia,  _ nonetheless, and I will ignore that Zaun and Piltover are not the same city, if only for a while. Answer me, Captain,  _ what are you doing here?” _

Irelia’s jaw was locked, her hands still massaging her wrists.

Caitlyn was the  _ definition  _ of  _ cold;  _ she  _ knew  _ she’d get whatever she wanted if she pressed the Captain hard enough. Surely, Irelia didn’t have to tell her anything if she didn’t want to, but the Sheriff had an uncanny ability to make her feel like she had a lot to lose, were she not to reply.

But Irelia wasn’t easily intimidated; the good thing about being alike Caitlyn was that she could see past the act and the pretences, not care about them, disregard the implied threats completely.

So she crossed her arms in front of her chest. “ _ Why  _ should we consider this case to be particularly special? I’m just a passerby, Sheriff.”

Caitlyn smirked at Irelia’s smug look, a certain malice on her eyes. “You think you’re very clever, don’t you, Captain?” She asked her, not letting her reply before was talking again, “Very well. Let’s talk about something else; what’s your friend’s name?”

Riposte.

The chink in her armor, easily discovered, awfully exploited.

Irelia felt Caitlyn stealing the upper hand from her, but decided to keep that smug look on her face, anyway. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Caitlyn sighed, her smirk still on her face. “I would,” She confesse with a nod of her head, the gestures making Irelia uneasy. “Vi, what was the woman’s name, again?”

Irelia turned to look at Vi, staring intently at some device on her hand, her finger moving on its’ screen, “Riven, former Hand of Noxus, wanted by the Noxian Empire for escaping her trial by combat.”

Caitlyn’s eyebrows rose at that, her lips forming a small  _ Oh,  _ “So Captain Lito’s friend is a celebrity  _ and  _ a  _ criminal?”  _ She smiled at Irelia, then, “Who would have thought?”

Irelia’s look of calmness was gone, “How do you know that?”

“News spread fast nowadays, especially with technology.” Caitlyn was still smiling as she said, “Not to mention the crazy number of Noxian spies that plague both Piltover and Zaun. You see, the Noxian leaders must have sent an encrypted message towards their spies, hoping to find Riven’s whereabouts without moving more than a finger. Not only did they inform their spies, they accidentally ended up informing us too because  _ who _ would expect the Enforcer of Piltover to be more than just a brute and actually know how to intercept encrypted messages and decrypt them?”

Irelia remained deadly quiet, the only response to Caitlyn’s words being Vi’s offended  _ Hey!  _ at the Sheriff’s offhand insult for her, the long haired woman smiling at Vi for a second, before letting her eyes wander back to Irelia’s.

Irelia lost her cool.

She stood up abruptly, slamming her hands on the desk. “Leave her out of this.” She growled, baring her teeth.

Caitlyn quietly stood up, mimicking Irelia’s posture. “She’s wanted by the Empire of Noxus,” Caitlyn started, “Now, before you say  _ it’s not our jurisdiction,  _ let me tell you that I would gladly sell her out to Noxus in exchange for them to call their ridiculous spies and make them leave  _ my  _ city, so you will quickly find out it  _ is,  _ actually, my business.”

Irelia held her stare, her face contorted into an angry glare.

Caitlyn remained as poker faced as usual, the hint of a smirk on her lips.

She  _ knew  _ she had won when she mentioned Riven.

Irelia sighed, falling back on her seat once more. “Riven and I travelled from Ionia to Noxus in the hopes of finding a man whose name is Cyrus. In there, we were told he was not there and was presumed dead, for they would be looking for him too, were he alive. After that, we found out that he’s in Zaun, which is our current destination.”

Caitlyn sat down once more, that ghostly smirk gone as she grew serious once more. “Why are you looking for him?”

“He’s a war criminal for both Ionia and Noxus.” Irelia explained, “He fought for Noxus on their second invasion, but betrayed them on the battlefield by causing an explosion that killed both Noxians and Ionians.”

“Friendly fire,” Caitlyn mumbled as she mused out loud, “Was there a reason for him to cause said explosion?”

“No,” Irelia said, “He would have had a good reason, had all the Noxians that were near the explosive been dead by then, but there was one still alive.”

Caitlyn’s frown deepened. “Someone important or someone disposable?”

Irelia simply replied, “His leader,” watching as Caitlyn raised a brow and said  _ Riven?,  _ the name of the former Noxian prompting her to nod her head in response.

Caitlyn mimicked her movement, “I see. It would have been a logical move if it had been only you and yours in the danger zone, but if Riven was in there too…”

“It was premeditated,” Vi said, making Irelia turn to look at her as the pink haired woman walked towards them, arms crossed in front of her. “He thought of it and did it, on purpose.”

“That much we had imagined,” Irelia replied.

“How did you find out his whereabouts?” Caitlyn asked, looking even more serious than before. “If he was not in Noxus and Riven is wanted by the Empire—”

“ _ Someone _ who trusts Riven and belongs to the Noxian ruling force gave us the information.” Irelia said, unsure about  _ why  _ she felt the need of protecting Darius’ identity, but doing it nonetheless.

Caitlyn raised a brow. “A Noxian ruler gave information to someone considered a traitor to the Empire of Noxus?” She asked, surprised by such knowledge. “That’s quite a feat.”

“And it’s  _ weird,  _ to say the least,” Vi commented, standing next to Irelia, “I mean, I’m sure Noxus would come for this guy if he really is a Noxian traitor and they  _ do  _ know where he’s hiding” She shrugged, “Seen it happen, before.”

Caitlyn raised a brow, “In Piltover or in Zaun?” And, once she saw Vi open her mouth to answer, looking rather uncomfortable by the question, she added, “Actually, don’t tell me. I don’t want to find out.” She narrowed her eyes, “If I don’t know, I don’t have to do anything about it.”

“Anything like what?”

“Like  _ firing  _ you, for carrying out vigilantism in Zaun.”

Vi scoffed, “And  _ how  _ would you know I’ve been doing that every time I’m in Zaun?” 

Caitlyn didn’t reply verbally, her only response to the pink haired woman being her bored expression, an eyebrow slowly rising.

Vi felt uncomfortable. “Why would you  _ care!?” _

Caitlyn slowly closed her eyes,  _ “Vi.” _

Vi turned around, a hand on the back of her neck, scratching strands of pink hair, “I said nothing.”

Caitlyn smirked ever so slightly, reopening her eyes. “Good.” She looked at Irelia once more, “So we only know a few things for certain here, Captain.” She went back to their original topic. “One,” She raised a finger, “Cyrus is a Noxian citizen that hides in Zaun. Two,” She raised another one, “He’s betrayed Noxus and  _ that’s  _ why he hasn’t returned to his home, choosing to hide from the consequences of his actions in Zaun, instead. Three,” She raised yet another digit, “The higher ups in Noxus  _ know  _ where he is and one of them has told a Noxian  _ traitor, despite  _ their colleagues doing quite the opposite and  _ lying about it,  _ which leads to a few conclusions; either the lead you’ve been given is a lie—”

“I know it isn’t—”

“Or Cyrus is not considered a criminal by Noxus, being  _ protected  _ by them, instead, your informant being the only one who’s not protecting him.”

Irelia hadn’t expected that, “What?”

“Seems possible,” Vi mumbled, her intense stare going from Caitlyn to Irelia as she turned to look at the Ionian, “Let’s believe that the guy who told you where Cyrus is was being honest with you: that means that the rest of Noxus held this information from you  _ and,  _ if they told you he was a  _ criminal  _ that they would have looked for, much like they are currenly doing with your Riven girl _ ,  _ then it also means that they  _ lied. _ ” Vi said, nodding her head a bit, as if asking  _ Are you following?  _ “Noxus told you Cyrus was dead because if he were alive, they would kill him  _ and yet  _ you found out that this was a  _ lie: why  _ would Noxus lie to you?”

Irelia frowned, “Because Riven is a traitor.”

“No,” Vi replied, “Because I know how Noxians work and they wouldn’t talk to you if they consider you’re a traitor or  _ whatever.”  _ She shrugged, “Sure, they tried to arrest her at some point, hence the trial, and they totally want to kill her now, hence the search request online, but  _ still:  _ if they had considered Riven a traitor from the very beginning, they wouldn’t have answered her questions, not even with lies. They would have straight out arrested her.”

“That’s true,” Caitlyn commented, making Irelia’s eyes go back to her. “Noxians don’t waste breath on anyone, let alone  _ traitors.  _ They lied to you,  _ purposefully _ , except for your informant, who actually helped you, also on purpose.”

Irelia sighed at the information overload, laying back against her chair, a hand going to her hair as she moved it back, a nervous gesture.

“First time around cops, I see.” Caitlyn quipped, amused. “I bet it’s different to Ionian soldiers.”

“It’s very different to anything I’ve ever experienced,” Irelia admitted.

“Cupcake here knows how to investigate,” Vi said, smiling at Irelia, “She’s all clever like that—  _ Ow!”  _ She yelped, rubbing the spot on her hand that Caitlyn had pinched. “That hurts!”

“I told you  _ not  _ to call me that and  _ yet…”  _ Caitlyn said, sighing as she shook her head. “I  _ will  _ fire you, one day.”

“But today is  _ not  _ that day,” Vi replied, triumphantly, leaning over the desk.

“You’ve three seconds to get out of my face before I fire you.”

Not a second had passed that Vi was already standing by the door again.

Caitlyn’s eyes went back to Irelia. “Quite an interesting case you’ve got going on here, Captain Lito.” She said, a certain tone of intrigue coating her words. “It has it all; betrayal, scheming, backstabbing, lies…” Her eyes grew intense as she added, “ _ Revenge.” _

“We are not here looking for revenge,” Irelia said, “We’re here to take him back to Ionia and—”

“ _ Save me  _ the discourse, Captain.” Caitlyn said, huffing a laugh and waving a hand in a disregarding matter. “You want him  _ dead  _ and we all know it: you’re most definitely  _ not  _ going to take him back to Ionia and  _ judge him accordingly.”  _

Irelia felt her face heat up, feeling the Sheriff’s words as both a lie and the proof that she had been caught red handed. “I am not—”

“Then your friend will.” Caitlyn replied, knowing very well the silly excuses Irelia could come up with. “She has more than enough reasons to want him dead.”

Irelia sighed in defeat. “Maybe she does.”

“Speaking of the Devil,” Vi said, making them both look at her, finding her staring at the electronic device she had been looking at, before. “There’s a situation at the hospital,” She looked at Caitlyn, serious, “Riven has woken up.”

Irelia stood up abruptly, but Caitlyn remained seated, though she looked wary. “And what’s the issue with that?”

“That she’s not  _ behaving.”  _ Vi said, staring hard into the Sheriff’s cold blue eyes. “Guess Noxians cannot be domesticated.”

“Then we must deal with it,” Caitlyn replied, standing up, moving towards the door and grabbing her top hat, placing it on her head. “Let’s go,” She looked at Irelia, “You too.”

They rushed through the police station’s halls, Vi falling into a quick step right next to Irelia as Caitlyn walked ahead, “She’s tearing the hospital _down_ ,” She said, looking at the device’s screen, before looking at Irelia with a frown, “What’s wrong with your girl?”

_ Your girl,  _ but she had no time to focus on that, fear already taking over her, “When you finished shattering her blade, you helped release her from a very poisonous magic, much like an addiction, but—”

“But like every drug, the withdrawal effect is bad, specially if you abuse it.” Vi finished for her, already knowing what she was talking about. “I’m going to assume she was a very heavy user?”

Irelia nodded, sighing, “Yes, she was.”

“Then she’s broken, Captain,” Vi said as they reached the station’s exit, rushing down the entry’s stairs. “Just like her sword.”

“Yes, she  _ is  _ broken.” Irelia replied as they reached the car, “Broken, but not beyond repair.”

They all got in the car, “Let’s hope you’re right, for her sake.”

And then, with no further warning, the car sped up and hit the streets, its’ siren blaring loudly.

_ Let’s hope I’m right. _

And once again, Irelia fell into the claws of the city of speed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit shorter than usual, definitely longer than the one before.
> 
> How are we doing, yall?


	22. To Right The Wrongs Of Many

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Irelia finds Riven in the hospital.

Her ears were ringing, her vision blurry and constantly shifting.

Was that wall white? How is it that it was white a moment ago and now she saw it splattered with red?

How is it that she knew the red was blood?

How come the red blood was then glowing in a very bright, toxic looking  _green?_

How come it was clean again?

And how come she was suddenly not in the hospital anymore, but in a battlefield instead?

Then in Noxus.

Then in the Fleshing Arena.

Then in Targon.

Then in Ionia again, a sea of bodies around her.

Riven needed  _just a minute_ in the same scenario, just a single minute—

" _Kill them all!"_ One of her Elite screamed on her face, looking quite dead with his trident embedded into his chest, his dead-white hands on her shoulders, " _Stab them until the blood comes out!"_

" _Burn them down!"_ Leah shouted back as she grabbed Riven and forced her to turn and look at her, her whole body scorched beyond recognition. " _Burn them all down to the ground!"_

" _You left us to die!"_ Aryana shouted, her whip tangling itself on the former Noxian's neck, " _You left us all to die just so that you could run away with the Ionian harlot!"_

The three of them cornered her against a wall.

" _So pay us back and kill them all!"_

And then she saw more people behind them.

" _Kill them all!"_

They were every person she had ever killed, every person she had ever seen die.

" _Kill them all!"_

An endless battalion of undead, in front of her eyes.

" _Kill them all!"_

They were drowning her, suffocating her with their demands.

The message had gotten into her head, though.

_Kill them all!_

So Riven fought back against them, if only to allow herself to breathe, " _I'll kill them all!"_ She roared her response, unaware of where she was and who stood in front of her, but knowing very well what she had to do.

So she looked at her anonymous opponents and felt the battle rage taking over, the bloodlust consuming her until she saw nothing but flesh she had to tear apart.

And tear it apart, she would.

She fought the creatures that seemed hellbent on holding her down, their chains unable to trap her, their shackles unable to catch her ankles and wrists.

She punched them and clawed at their eyes, managing to blind one of the several creatures.

How many where there around her? She didn't know, she couldn't count.

She didn't care.

She would fight them all, anyway.

"I'll  _kill you all!"_ She screamed at her, "I'll  _fucking kill you all!"_

Because  _someone_ had to die;  _her,_ or  _them._

And she would kill them before they could even touch her.

* * *

"Fucking Hell."

And Irelia could only agree with Vi there.

The hospital was the visual description of chaos.

People were running to get out of it, both medics and patients alike, desperation evident on their expressions, some struggling to get out but nobody bothering to help anyone out, fear for their very own lives rendering them unable to even think of anybody else but them.

Police forces were surrounding and entering the building and a specific man called Caitlyn's attention. " _Jayce_!"

Irelia heard Vi groan in exasperation before seeing who had caught Caitlyn's eye.

A tall man with clothing of red and gold, a humongous hammer of the same color scheme on his hands, the weapon looking more like Caitlyn's gun than Ban's warhammer, a blue crystal on its' core making it glow a faint cerulean.

The tall man turned at the sound of his name, smiling at the Sheriff, "Good to see you, Cait."

He completely ignored Vi's presence and, by doing so, he accidentally ignored Irelia's, who still remained to the brawler's side, something about the pink haired woman being inviting enough that she felt better by her side.

_Blame it on her not being so much like me, unlike—_

"I'm going to  _ignore_ that vigilantism is illegal for a moment," Caitlyn said, regarding him with a cold stare as she did so, Irelia seeing him  _visibly flinch_ at that, "And I'll ask: what's the situation?"

Jayce's expression got more serious, "A patient woke up and she's wrecking the place,"

And Irelia didn't know exactly what made her had the hope of that patient not being her, for the report had been that it had been  _Riven._

Still, she waited.

Caitlyn was frowning in concentration, "Did you get visuals on her?"

So Jayce then proceeded to describe her, "White hair—"

No more was needed as Caitlyn and Jayce staggered backwards as Irelia pushed them aside and ran towards the building, Vi quickly following a few steps behind as she displayed a better reaction time than the Sheriff and the Defender of Tomorrow.

* * *

The creatures were gone.

No enemies to fight.

The voices, demons, ghosts, her  _friends_ hadn't had enough, though.

She felt blood dripping down her chin, as if she had ripped a foe apart with her teeth.

Something told her that hadn't happened, but she disregarded it, anyway. To her, it  _had_ happened.

She felt the bloodlust consuming her, advancing forwards on her, inch by inch, driving her mad, madly insane, insanely mad.

She wanted to  _kill._ She  _needed_ to  _kill._

She needed to  _overpower_  them, crush them with her strength, attack them with her speed,  _dominate them_ and  _dominate_ the game.

Which game?

Who's  _them?_

She didn't care.

She stalked her way throughout the battlefield, feeling as her armor fell, chunk by chunk, to the dead ground, blood covering her from head to toes, the humming of the drums of war keeping her heart alive and beating.

Where was her blade? She felt the need to hold it. She  _wanted_ to hold it.

She felt like something was missing without it.

Where was it?

She shook her head as the voices kept screaming at her. "It  _doesn't matter!"_ She roared, feral. "I don't really  _need_ it. I'll  _kill_ our enemies anyway."

She found a knife on the ground and picked it up, cutting her palms open, letting her own blood stain her hands and mix with her foes'.

She pressed her fingers against the cuts, before dragging them all over the walls, each and every movement careful, precise, specific.

She would kill them. She would kill them with her all.

With power.

With strength.

With speed.

With domination.

* * *

Judging by the speed at which her heart was beating, Irelia thought it was about to explode or abruptly stop.

She didn't know  _what_ piece of information, exactly, had driven her into that state: the way the hospital was  _trashed,_ the way there were people still in there,  _dragging_ themselves,  _crawling_ towards them, towards the exit, as they had been injured and they couldn't even stand up.

The way there was blood everywhere.

Or maybe it was the way she could see those gods-forsaken runes, drawn all over the place.

Drawn in red ink.

Life's red ink.

"These people need our help," Irelia was thankful of Vi's voice, breaking the deadly atmosphere, her comment not being as wittily funny as she appeared to be all the time, being rather more serious than usual.

The pink haired brawler was a woman of action, after all.

True to her character.

The Ionian looked around, letting herself assess the situation; they were in one of the main halls of the hospital already, but they were pretty much near the entry. Men and women, some young, some old, were trying to get out, those with enough health making a run for it, while others had to drag themselves through the ground, blood and debris and medical utensils digging into their palms and shins as they crawled.

And Irelia decided to pretend those which didn't move were  _unconscious,_ not dead.

She couldn't tell if she didn't inspect them.

She wasn't planning to, anyway.

_Alive until proven contrary._

And, despite the chaotic scenario that screamed  _Yes, they need both you and Vi's help,_ Irelia  _disregarded it all completely_ when she said, "I need to find her."

And if the roles had been inverted, Irelia would have  _lost_ her mind at such a statement, claiming that she had to be blind  _or_ stupid  _or_ both to have her priorities set in such a way.

But Vi wasn't her.

There was a certain deep understanding to her, like she could always see beyond the veil, somehow, and comprehend.

And she seemed both oblivious and aware of such a skill.

The enforcer nodded her head once. "I'll handle the injured  _and_ both Caitlyn and Jayce, if they enter the building. Go look for her."

And Irelia turned—

A strong hand on her arm stopped her from moving, making her turn to look at the Enforcer.

It was the most serious she had seen her look, up until then. "Do what you  _have to,"_ She commanded, "And stay safe. I'll look for you once I'm done helping the wounded."

Irelia nodded her head once and, releasing herself from Vi as the pink haired woman moved towards those injured, the Captain ran through the halls, following the trail of runes and blood.

* * *

The battlefield was  _empty._

Riven roared, slamming her fist against something hard, to her right, like a wall, but all she saw was  _air._

 _Where_ were her enemies?

"Fucking  _cowards!"_ She barked out loud in a battle cry, "Come and  _face me!"_ She continued stalking around the maze of trees and dead greenery—

And, afar, she found what she was looking for.

Someone.

And their eyes found hers.

So Riven smiled and stomped her way towards them.

* * *

Between abruptly stopping and exploding, Irelia knew her heart had chosen to stop.

She sight was enough to make it do just that.

Riven came to view as she walked out of one of the many doors the hall contained and Irelia's eyes locked on her figure, analyzing it from head to toe; a white hospital gown that displayed bloodstains all over it covered her body, her hands unwrapped, their burn scars and blisters carelessly exposed, her palms cut open and blood dripping from those wounds, her body a mess of sweat and crimson, her hair crazed and messy, out of the bun she usually wore.

And then she turned, finally sensing Irelia's staring.

And those eyes glowed  _green._

And a feral smile got planted upon her lips.

Irelia froze.

Riven sprung into action.

The Captain of the Guard flinched at the sight of Riven approaching  _fast—_

The former Noxian started  _running_ towards her—

Irelia dodged as Riven tried to stab her on the face with a pair of scissors, the white haired warrior succeeding at embedding the pointy end of her weapon on Irelia's bicep, making her scream in pain, as she quickly took it off her arm and tried to stab her again, this time on the chest.

Irelia grabbed her hand with both of hers, pushing it back, their arms shaking with the strength they were putting on the task.

Bared teeth, green eyes, sweat on her face and saliva dripping from her mouth as she growled, the sight was enough to terrify Irelia as she said, "Riven,  _stop!"_

"I'll stop when you're on the ground," The former Noxian growled in response, bringing her free hand to push on the scissors, the extra help letting her slowly overpower Irelia, the end of her weapon getting closer and closer to the Ionian's chest—

Riven quickly brought one of her hands up in a fist and punched Irelia on the face, trying to make her stop fighting back.

She succeeded at it, but Irelia pivoted on her feet, letting the scissors scratch her clothes but not hurt her as it moved past her, bringing her hand to Riven's nape and pushing forcefully, the momentum making the warrior fall to the ground.

Once on the ground, though, Riven kicked one of her legs parallel to the ground, sweeping Irelia's feet and bringing her down.

The Ionian didn't have time to to think as the crazed warrior crawled on top of her, scissors still on her hand, bringing them down on Irelia's face.

Her hands came up to catch it by the blade, pushing back as Riven pushed it down.

And she was overpowering her again.

"Fucking  _die,"_ Riven growled on her face, putting all of her weight on the blade—

Knowing her balance would be off, Irelia brought her hips up abruptly, turning to a side.

Riven quickly fell to the ground on her back, the Ionian Captain taking the moment to stand up and back.

Pulling herself up with her core strength, Riven was quickly on her feet, once again, running towards her—

Instinct taking over, Irelia moved and a blade came out, dashing towards Riven.

The former Noxian had not seen it coming, for she was running face first towards it and, knowing she couldn't stop due to her speed, she released the scissor, her hands coming up—

Realizing what was about to happen, Irelia dropped the blade to the ground, sparing the white haired woman.

The obstacle being gone, Riven's eyes followed the crestblade as it touched the floor, not bothering to stop running.

Looking away, she ended up colliding against Irelia, both falling to the ground.

Green eyes widened and looked into blue ones.

Then narrowed.

Before she could react, Riven punched Irelia on the face, the Ionian's skull hitting the ground, hard.

She tried to punch her again, but Irelia rolled backwards, successfully flipping their positions and pressing her forearm against the woman's neck, hoping to cut off the air supply, knocking her out.

But Riven didn't seem to mind the pressure, her eyes still glowing with rage and her teeth gritting, as the warrior grabbed Irelia's arm with both hands and pulled from it, breathing deeply as she released herself from the grip and flipping them once more.

Now on top, Riven decided not to make the same mistake again, grabbing Irelia by the neck and bringing her up, headbutting her once, twice, three times, before pushing her head forcefully back down to the ground and placing her hands around her neck, squeezing tightly.

Irelia clawed at her hands, her arms, her face, miserably failing to do get a reaction as Riven seemed completely out of it.

She felt the pressure being too much, her eyes feeling like they'd come out of their respective sockets.

And then she heard how Riven growled and a faint murmur came to life, the former Noxian breathing out a deadly mantra.

" _Kill her, kill her, kill her."_

Irelia knew she was about to pass out.

" _Kill her."_

She was feeling dizzy, already.

" _Kill her."_

She saw her vision getting blurry and darker.

" _Kill her—"_

A fist came into contact with Riven's temple and the former Noxian fell to a side.

Irelia started breathing desperately, coughing as she did so, sitting up with Vi's help, a frown on the pink haired woman as she said, "Didn't I tell you to  _do what you had to?"_

"What would that be?" Irelia said in between coughing fits, " _Killing her?"_

Vi replied only with a sigh, her eyes quickly finding Riven as she got up, the brawler doing the same, her fists coming up in front of her, "What's up with your girlfriend?" She asked Irelia over her shoulder, eyes never leaving the growling madwoman "Because either you guys have some intense foreplay or this is not—"

She couldn't stop her comment, for Riven was lashing out at her, a fist trying to reach the pugilist's face.

Vi easily dodged, seeing Riven's second fist come for her and dodging yet again, her head movement being swift enough to avoid her without having to move much.

As the third attempt came, she dodged to a side and, taking one step forwards, she threw an uppercut at her opponent, her knuckles connecting with Riven's chin, feeling the woman's teeth clatter at the impact.

As the Noxian's hands dropped, her guard gone, Vi used her other hand to land a shovel punch right underneath the woman's ribcage, successfully knocking the air out of her.

Riven bent over in pain, her face unguarded.

Vi landed a right hook to her temple, right before landing a left one all over her face.

And just like that, Riven was knocked down.

Out cold.

And Vi hadn't even gotten started.

"You're good with your fists," Irelia commented, looking at her as the brawler kneeled next to Riven, inspecting her a bit, " _Very_ good."

"Perks of being a boxer, baby." Vi offered as a response, "Trained on it for quite some time and actually have a knack for it." She frowned, "But I know the fight was easy because your girl here is still worn out due to all our previous fighting." She smiled, cockily at the Ionian, "I would still win, though, don't be fooled."

Irelia moved towards Vi as the pugilist kept inspecting Riven, "She'll be okay," She told Irelia, "She's just unconscious now, but she'll wake up and keep choking you out in an hour, maybe." She looked at Irelia, "Mind explaining what all of that was about? Because I've dealt with drug addicts before and none were  _this_ violent."

Irelia sighed. "It's not a common addiction," She told her, "It's addiction to—"

"Power, strength, speed and domination." They both turned to look at Caitlyn, her rifle on her hands, as the Sheriff walked towards them.

Irelia's eyebrows rose, "You know—"

"What the beautiful paintings your colleague made mean?" She raised a brow, "Yes, I know exactly what they mean. You will soon find out I know a lot of things."

"She's a walking encyclopedia." Vi murmured under her breath.

Irelia's eyes remained on Caitlyn, a looming question in them.

_What will you do with her?_

Caitlyn knew. Irelia knew Caitlyn knew.

"Vi, cuff her."

The brawler got a pair of handcuffs from Caitlyn and obligued, turning Riven so that she'd be lying on her stomach and, bringing her hands to her back, she shackled her wrists.

"Pick her up and let's get out of here," Caitlyn commanded, "I've got reinforcements coming this way, they'll clear the place." She looked at Irelia, "You're lucky no one was killed, though there were many very close to it."

"Lucky?"

"Yes, because it means we can avoid locking her up in a cell." Caitlyn commented, starting her way towards the door, both the Ionian and the brawler, the Noxian on her shoulder, following closely. "We will go back to the station and decide there." Stealing a glance at the Noxian, she added, "But first, we will patch you up  _and_ sedate her." Feeling that Irelia was about to say something, she said, "It will  _not_ harm her."

Irelia sighed.

It was better than the alternative.

* * *

_You failed._

_You failed, you failed, you failed!_

"Stop!"

_You failed, you failed, you failed, you failed—_

"Fucking  _stop!"_ She roared at the whispering, yelling, crying, roaring voices all around her in the middle of the darkness.

But they didn't listen to her.

_It's gone, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone!_

And she knew they were talking about her sword.

_Worthless, useless, meaningless, it's gone and you failed!_

_Go die, go die, go die, go die—_

" _Stop!"_

But they listened to no reason.

For it was gone and she failed.

And Riven felt like she should die.

* * *

"How does it feel?"

Irelia moved her arm around a bit, her other hand coming up to gently touch the bandages that were wrapped around her arm. "It's fine." She said, "She hadn't hit me anywhere too compromising."

"But a wound is a wound," Vi said, her eyes on her, "And shouldn't be ignored."

Caitlyn raised an eyebrow. "You're one to talk." She said, smirking as Vi waved a hand dismissively at her.

"What will happen now?" Irelia finally asked, impatience taking over as she looked around nervously: Caitlyn on her side of the desk, Vi to the Captain's side, Riven, sedated, to her other.

It looked like a very weird painting, in her head.

Caitlyn sighed, eyes on Riven. "Now, you explain to  _me_ what is wrong with  _her."_

Irelia exhaled slowly. "She used to have a black, magic blade with the runes you saw before carved on it, but a part of it was broken, so its' magic started to bleed through to her and infected her mind. Her blade shattered when we got arrested, so now she's going through a…" She trailed off, "Withdrawal kind of phase."

"And she's going through all stages of grief before finally becoming sane again." Caitlyn mused out loud, before sighing, "Your friend is quite a delicate issue, Captain Lito."

"I know, but I won't give her up."

Caitlyn nodded her head once. "I never thought you would. Very well," She stood up and moved towards the door to her office.

Irelia followed her with her eyes, "Where are you going to?"

"Out," Caitlyn said, opening the door and walking through it, before closing it.

Irelia stared, until Vi's chuckle made her turn and look at her. "What are you finding so funny, now?"

Vi was smiling. "She did that so that I can offer you help, you know?" Vi raised a brow, "Helping you right now would be something we shouldn't do as Piltover's police force, for it would be very controversial politically speaking and it would mean trouble with Noxus, but that doesn't mean you cannot be helped. She left the room so that she won't find out about anything incriminating, because I will  _totally_ give you a place to stay in  _Zaun_ while she recovers and, as we know…"

"It's not your jurisdiction." Irelia finished, raising her brows.

Vi nodded her head. "Exactly, so that we cannot do anything if she goes a bit crazy." She narrowed her eyes, "Which means we won't be able to help you much, either, so  _please_ be careful." She got up, "Now, let's go—"

She quieted down as she felt Irelia's hand following her, reaching her cheek, making her look at the Ionian.

"Thank you."

Vi smiled, "It's not a big deal, Captain." She said, before moving towards Riven and picking her up. "It's just a little bit of help on your new task."

Irelia raised a brow, "Detoxifying an addict?"

But Vi knew better. "Righting the wrongs of many. Now, follow me. Let me show you your new home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question for y'all, same one that Vi made for Irelia.
> 
> How does this chapter feel, folks?
> 
> Love y'all!


	23. Agony Of The Battlefield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Vi's help, Irelia is ready to face Riven in her internal battle.
> 
> Riven will try to prove that maybe she isn't.

The contrast between Zaun and Piltover was very pronounced, Irelia noticed.

Gone were the golden, architectonically beautiful skyscrapers and buildings as Vi drove the car further and further away, distancing them from the City of Progress, getting them into the City of Iron and Glass, green hues taking over as the red ones disappeared, blackness appearing where golden colors had been before.

And then Irelia noticed the descent: the more into Zaun they got, the lower and lower they travelled, as if going down the stairs.

She would look up at the sky while Vi drove, watching it move away from them, hiding behind tall, dark buildings that covered her view of it.

Steam and smog taking over the atmosphere, Irelia decided not to look at the sky anymore.

“Shocking change, isn’t it?” She heard Vi’s voice, which prompted her to look to her left, seeing the brawler smirking as she drove, eyes on the road.

“It is, to be honest.” Irelia replied, “These cities are a world away and yet…”

“And yet they are connected and coexist in the same place.” Vi finished for her. “The funniest thing is how, despite Piltover and Zaun being polar opposites, they cannot survive, let alone thrive, without the other.” She stole a glance at Irelia, that smirk still in place, “Zaun needs Piltover to carry on existing as it does just as badly as Piltover needs Zaun to exist the way it does.”

Irelia raised a brow. “It’s paradoxically ironic.”

Vi laughed, “That’s a way to put it.”

Irelia tried not to think about the girl who laid asleep on the back of the car.

She tried not to think about her and failed, she tried not to worry about her and failed.

She tried not to see parallels between Piltover and Zaun and Riven and her and she failed—

“How come you have a place to stay in that’s located in Zaun?” Irelia asked as the thought hit her, desperate to change the topic in her head, hellbent on focusing on something else, “Don’t you live in Piltover?”

“Well, I haven’t lived all my life in Piltover.” Vi began, “I moved there when Cait hired me to be a part of the police force, but before that I lived here.”

Irelia’s eyes widened a bit. “In Zaun?”

Vi nodded. “In Zaun.”

“So you’re not a Piltovian, you’re a Zaunite?”

Vi sighed before nodding, “Yeah, it’s brought me problems in the past.” She eyed Irelia for a second, “It’s not a thing that goes unnoticed in Piltover, you know? Pilties dislike Zaunites and they dislike them a lot.”

“They also make sure you  _ know  _ they dislike you, don’t they?”

Vi hummed in confirmation. “Pilties can be harsh.” She said, grimacing a bit, “But don’t get me wrong; us Zaunites are just as bad.” She raised a brow, an impish smirk on her lips, “Don’t call someone from Piltover a Piltie or else they’ll flip. It’s kind of insulting for them, but we call them that anyways.”

“Rude.”

She laughed, “Very much so.”

“And how did Caitlyn ever meet you?” Irelia asked her, “Or how did you ever meet her?”

“What’s the difference between those two options?”

Irelia shrugged, “Whether she came to you or you went to her.”

Vi chuckled at that. “Well, she came to me, then.”

“Really?”

Vi frowned, “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“No reason,” Irelia said, stuttering a bit at the tone with which she questioned her, “It’s just that I’m surprised she’d set foot in Zaun.”

“Well, it’s a rather long story.” Vi replied, a fond smile on her lips. “Before being a police officer, I used to be... “ She searched for the right word, “On the  _ other  _ side of the law.”

Irelia raised her brows, “You were a criminal?”

Vi grimaced, “You could say that.” She seemed to try and steel herself a bit, before opening up, “I was part of a gang. We’d steal from anybody who had more money than us but we’d always plan heists to steal from the richest people we could use as targets.”

Irelia nodded her head, “I see.” She glanced at Vi, “It doesn’t explain how the  _ Sheriff  _ found you interesting enough to offer you a job quite opposite to yours.”

Vi huffed a laugh, “You’re getting ahead of yourself!” She playfully told her off, “Let me finish the story.”

Irelia rolled her eyes, but she was smirking a bit. “Fine.”

“My gang planned a heist to a mining facility.” She started and Irelia could see the shift in her tone as it got somber, more sober. “It was risky, considering we’d have to enter the mine, leaving only one exit for us to use, but we were all willing to take the risk.” She sighed, her eyes unfocusing a bit, though not enough to make her driving dangerous, but she did slow down the car, “The raid went bad and an explosion inside the mine left us running against the clock to escape. My gang left with all the gold, but I just couldn’t find it in me, the will to leave the miners behind, to their luck.”

“To their untimely death.” Irelia corrected.

Vi simply nodded. “I just couldn’t do it, so I stayed behind with them. The cave in trapped us there.” She narrowed her eyes, “They were all exhausted, hurt, dehydrated, due to both their work and our raid. Their bodies were  _ broken  _ from it all. In a way, there were all already dead.” She said, “But I just couldn’t leave them behind, I had to stay, see if I could help somehow, even if it was futile and all hope of survival was nonexistent.”

“Considering you’re here, you found a way out.”

Vi nodded, a frown still on her face. “Miners wear mechanical mining rigs, much like exoskeletons, to break their way through the ground when they work.” She started explaining. “I found one as we looked for a way out. It was damaged and it wouldn’t help us out of the mine, but I saw some potential there; I  _ knew  _ I could use it, somehow.” She rolled her shoulders a bit, trying to ease the tension on her back. “I wrenched off its’ fists and started working on them,” She shrugged, “I had no real tools and the very real duty of bullshitting my way out of the problem, so I did my best and I ended up with some sort of prototype-y, makeshift hextech gauntlets.” She sighed, “I put them on, biting my tongue at the pain of wearing them and turned them on, praying to whatever higher power that would listen that they’d work.”

“And they did.”

She nodded, “And they did. They lit up and I felt like crying with happiness, I swear.” She said, looking at Irelia, before she continued, “So I walked to the exit and, testing the gauntlets a bit before actually using them, I punched the rubble with my all.” She smiled, “I couldn’t believe it when I saw the rock get blasted away.”

Irelia laughed a bit at her thought and said, “So you punched an exit through the wall.”

Vi laughed too at her words, “I really did that!” She looked at Irelia for a second, a wild smile on her lips.

Irelia nodded her head. “Sometimes, you’ve got to  _ make  _ a door.”

Vi lost her mind at that, bellowing at that. “You won’t believe the amount of times I’ve said that phrase in my life.”

“I can imagine it.”

They laughed for a bit, before quieting down, letting Vi resume her story.

“After a few punches, the rubble finished giving in and we were able to get out. The miners agreed to let me escape with the gauntlets, no questions asked, as payment for my help. After that, I started working as a vigilante, fighting thugs in Zaun and sometimes in Piltover.”

“And that’s how Caitlyn found out about you?”

Vi nodded, “She heard about the mining incident and found my, as she called it,  _ improvisation skills _ rather useful, amongst other things.”

“So she came looking for you?”

Vi nodded. “She came to the safehouse we’re going to right now and offered me the job. I took it without resisting too much and the rest is history.”

Irelia nodded her head. “I see.”

And Vi seemed ready to say something, but then she looked ahead again, “We’re here,” She said, before slowing to a stop and turning off the car, getting out before Irelia did, opening the door to the backseat and getting Riven out.

As Irelia got out and closed the door, she looked around the darkness of Zaun, drinking in Vi’s safehouse; Metal walls with glaringly colorful paint splattered on it, all of it browned a bit, oxidized due to time’s spell and the hideout’s lack of usage. A single light above the metallic door that indicated the entry to what looked like a deathtrap.

Irelia took in a deep breath and followed Vi as she took the lead, Riven on her arms.

“There’s a numerical code that opens the door,” She told Irelia in a quiet murmur as they both reached the door, the handle locked, a number keypad above it. “The code is ten-zero-six.”

So Irelia pressed the keys and heard the quiet click of the lock unlocking, pushing the door open.

She had to contain the gasp of surprise at the interior of the safehouse.

The safehouse looked more like a mechanic’s workshop than a hideout: it was a spacious studio: near the main door, to its’ right, a sort of kitchen, split from the rest of the room by the kitchen’s counter, two stools resting idly underneath it, waiting to be used. On the opposite wall, a settee, which was positioned looking at a medium sized flat screen perched on the wall. Against that same wall, but further into the room, a king sized bed with a single nightstand to a side. Finally, occupying the opposite spot to the bed in the studio, though it looked like it had clawed away, taking over every bit of the studio available, a humongous desk with an infinite number of trinkets, tools, metal, iron, cables, prototypes, inventions and artifacts that were beyond anything Irelia had ever known, beyond anything Irelia could imagine.

It struck Irelia that this place didn’t look uninhabited.

“Home, sweet home,” Vi said, and Irelia realized maybe it  _ wasn’t  _ uninhabited.

Irelia watched Vi as the pink haired woman placed Riven on the bed, leaving a few syringes with sedatives on the nightstand by her side before walking towards the kitchen, opening the fridge. “Do you drink, Irelia?”

Irelia’s eyes had floated towards the slumbering Noxian. “Not really.”

“Well,” Vi closed the fridge’s door, turning around with two cans on her hands, a smirk on her lips, the sound of the fridge’s door closing making Irelia turn to look at her, “Considering the position you’re in, you do, now.” She said, opening the two cans and offering the Ionian woman one. “Try it out.”

Irelia grabbed the can hesitantly, but took a sip from it, Vi’s eyes on her as she mimicked her actions.

She didn’t spit it, but the way she grimaced was priceless, funny enough that made Vi swallow quickly, if only to laugh without spitting her drink.

“This is awful.”

“It’s kind of bitter, but you start liking it after a few cans. These are not even the most bitter ones I have.” Vi told her, taking another gulp, sighing in contempt after swallowing it down.

Irelia was still grimacing. “I don’t know how you do it.”

Vi shrugged. “I just do it. Come on,” She said, gesturing for Irelia to drink with her, “You’ll end up liking it, I promise.”

Irelia shook her head. “Not today.” She said, putting the can down on the counter and pushing it towards Vi.

The brawler shrugged and, quickly downing her own drink, she placed the empty can on the counter and grabbed the full one, “More for me, a loss for you.”

“Sure, a loss.” She replied, before turning around and slowly, idly, walking around the studio, letting her eyes wander.

She heard Vi chuckle, “You’re even more serious than Caitlyn,” She commented, “I bet you’ve never gotten drunk.”

“Not really,” Irelia said, her eyes on the shiny trinkets on Vi’s desk.

“You have no clue what you’re missing out on.”

“Whatever,” Irelia said, “I’ll let you know when I care.” Then she thought about a thing, “Has Caitlyn ever gotten drunk?”

Vi laughed at that, “She has. Unfortunately, I haven’t witnessed it, yet.”

“How come?” Irelia asked, listening to Vi’s footsteps as the woman walked slowly towards her.

“She doesn’t get drunk on work events, unlike me, and she doesn’t let me into other aspects of her life other than work, unlike what I’d like.” Vi confessed nonchalantly, taking a sip from her drink as she stood next to Irelia, by her desk.

Irelia looked at her with curious eyes. “You like her?”

Vi raised a brow, “Do I look like I don’t?” She questioned, “I think it’s evident, the fact that this woman could spit on my face and I’d thank her.”

Irelia raised her brows. “It wasn’t that evident to me.” But that wasn’t exactly true, so she corrected herself, “I mean,  _ it was,  _ but I thought maybe you just were that way with everyone, so—”

Vi laughed, cutting her off, “That explains a  _ lot.” _

Riposte. “What does it explain?”

The brawler patted her on the back, “I’ll tell you when you get drunk with me. Until then, wonder about it on your own.”

“Fine,” Irelia said, huffing in disapproval. Then, “You haven’t moved out completely out of this place, have you?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“And does Caitlyn know?”

She smirked when she sensed the change on Vi, how the woman seemed uncomfortable at that fact. “No, she doesn’t.”

Irelia turned to look at her, still smirking smugly. “Why is that?”

“This safehouse is my workshop, now,” Vi started, “I only come here to work on pieces or come up with some new prototype.”

“You’re an inventor.”

“Kind of, I mostly work with existing stuff,” Vi replied, “But yeah, sometimes I experiment and Piltover’s laws regarding hextech experimenting and technology investigating are rather…” She looked for the right word, “Strict. And rigid. And they’d totally ask me to license my shop and everything I come up with and they might even take some stuff away and, honestly? I don’t have any time for that, so I come to Zaun, where no one gives a fuck, and work without anyone breathing down my neck.”

“Caitlyn would totally breathe down your neck for this.”

“Oh, absolutely, but not in the way I’d want,” Vi said, the sexual implications making Irelia roll her eyes. “So I’d rather she never found out about this, please and thanks.”

Irelia chuckled, “She won’t.” She confirmed, before looking around once more. “So, is this where you fix those gauntlets of yours?”

Vi nodded her head. “This is where I work on them, on my armor and on some other things as well, both for me and for some clients,” She then glared, “But I never do anything for anybody who I suspect might be a criminal; usually, I only work on either police force’s equipment or prosthetics for people who need them.”

“I see,” Irelia said, nodding. “Have you worked on Caitlyn’s…”

_ What the hell is her weapon called? _

“Her rifle?”

Irelia nodded, guessing that must be it.

“No, she doesn’t let anybody touch it,” Vi said, a smile on her lips, “But I’m dying to get my hands on that work of art.”

Irelia had a bored expression when she said, “Bet that’s not the only place you’re itching to get your hands on.”

Having not expected that, Vi guffawed, “I like you a lot, already.”

Irelia chuckled, “Sure.”

“Okay,” Vi started, “I think it’s time for me to return to Piltover.” She eyed Riven, still asleep, “Do you think you can handle her?”

“Being honest, I doubt it, but I will survive.”

Vi thought for a second, “Maybe I should teach you how to use a phone.”

Irelia frowned, “A phone?”

She had  _ not  _ expected the Ionian not to know what a phone was. “Oh, boy.” She sighed, before moving to her desk, “Come with me.” And, once she reached her work station, she looked at Irelia, her eyes going up and down her body, “And we definitely have to get you out of that outfit.”

Irelia looked at herself, “What’s wrong with my outfit?”

“You look too Ionian.”

Irelia sighed, rolling her eyes.

_ What a woman. _

* * *

 

Vi was long gone, her parting gift being a phone, which now belonged to Irelia.

She had explained really quickly how to use the artifact and Irelia had stared at her in awe, unable to believe such a thing existed.

She now knew all the different things a phone could do; she knew how to message Vi, how to call her, how to use the phone as a calculator, how to take photographs with it…

...How to search for more information.

So she had said her goodbyes to Vi and, as soon as the brawler was out, she had changed her clothes, getting some blue jeans and a white shirt on, leaving her armor by the bed, then she had laid on the couch, taken out her phone and investigated  _ a lot. _

She had investigated about Piltover’s technology and she had learned that she had travelled by car, that Vi’s gauntlets were called  _ Atlas Gauntlets,  _ that there were things called  _ robots  _ walking around the streets, amongst many other things.

Irelia’s vocabulary had expanded terribly in a matter of…

_ What? Minutes? _

Minutes.

She had also searched for information regarding Caitlyn, the Sheriff of Piltover, and Vi, the Enforcer of Piltover.

She had learned a bit, but if she had to be fair, she had learned more from them in person.

She also searched for a man named Jayce.

She found out he liked to be called  _ The Defender Of Tomorrow. _

She groaned at that.

_ Show off. _

Her eyes wandered to Riven, the Ionian at a safe distance, able to watch her without being close enough to get killed if she was not paying attention.

 The sedatives so strong that she was still asleep

_ Good. _

_ I fear what you’ll do once you wake up. _

A morbid curiosity got over her.

She decided to search for Riven, the Hand of Noxus.

The first thing that popped up was a picture of the woman she had met outside Ionia, so many years ago, in the second Noxian invasion.

A smug look on her face, furrowed brows, a slight smirk, a dark armor and an ebony blade.

All of the information was about a woman who, at the tender age of fourteen, had not only joined the Noxian army, but climbed to its’ top; everything she found was of Riven’s successes and prowess, how she was the most ruthless leader Noxus had ever seen.

Then she clicked on the button that’d show her the news regarding what she was searching for.

And then the Hand of Noxus was no more, her picture replaced by one of Riven, dressed as she had been in the Fleshing, with the headline reading  _ Wanted. _

Riven was a  _ criminal _ to Noxus, now.

And Noxus was willing to reward whoever gave them information about her or, even better, brought her to Noxus.

Alive.

Because they wanted to kill her themselves.

Irelia gulped.

Then another thing intrigued her and she decided to search for her own name.

She saw pictures of her, younger, fighting against Noxians.

Then pictures of her, older, leading Ionia while there was no leader.

The information seemed to be correct, but she couldn’t focus on that.

She could only focus on a picture located on the news section, with the headline  _ Wanted by the Empire of Noxus. _

For helping a prisoner escape.

But she couldn’t care less about whatever said around the picture.

She was busy staring at herself, running away, clinging to Riven.

Getting her out of certain death, even when it meant her own.

She heard the noise of bedsheets moving around and her eyes immediately fixated on Riven’s figure as the Noxian moved around.

Getting up, Irelia put the phone away, stashing it in her backpocket, and walked towards the bed, suddenly feeling naked without her armor.

_ No. _

She didn’t  _ need  _ her armor.

_ This is Riven we’re talking about. _

Riven, who had stopped herself before killing her, that time they sparred.

But also Riven, who hadn’t even tried to stop, last time.

_ But I’m Irelia Lito. _

And Irelia Lito never gave up.

So she sat on the bed, near the nightstand, as she watched Riven regain  _ consciousness _ .

At least, a  _ consciousness  _ of sorts.

She saw the woman shift and move, slowly beginning to trash her body around, eyes still closed as she quietly started to mumble.

Irelia moved towards her and placed her hands on the former Noxian’s shoulders, keeping her in place, “Riven,” She called her name, aware that the woman was having a nightmare, intent on waking her up and sparing her from it. “Riven,” She tried once more as she saw the warrior wasn’t waking up, before finally saying it louder, a third time, “ _ Riven!” _

Shaking her as she called her name, Irelia managed to finally wake Riven up, watching her as she opened her eyes.

Irelia stiffened when she saw they were still a neon green.

Her eyes opened wide and locked on hers, both women frozen in place, holding the other’s stare.

Riven frowned. “Where am I?”

“Safe,” Irelia quickly replied, trying not to focus on how monotone she had sounded, unlike her usual self.

Riven looked around a bit, before looking at Irelia once more, “And who are you?”

Irelia closed her eyes, unable to look at her as she replied, “A friend,” She settled for saying, knowing it’d be futile to try and make her remember her.

Riven needed to progress more into controlling her own mind before she could do something like remembering Irelia.

All she probably would remember was—

Riven sat up, her face coming close to Irelia’s as she asked her one more thing.

“Where’s my sword?”

And that was all she would remember or think of, Irelia knew.

Irelia didn’t know what to say, “It’s okay—”

“It isn’t,” Riven cut her off, shaking her head. “It won’t be until I see it with my own eyes. Where  _ is it?” _

Irelia gulped, “Riven—”

Her hands shot to Irelia’s arms, holding her tight, “Where’s my sword,  _ friend? _ ” She asked, her eyes widening even more, as if such a thing were possible, “Where is my sword and why is everyone telling me it’s gone?”

Fear for her sanity was starting to take over, “Riven—”

“ _ Where is it!?”  _ She asked, desperately, “ _ Where is my blade!?” _

_ “It’s gone!”  _ Irelia said, quickly giving the information up under the stress of having Riven shaking her and madly interrogating her, “It’s gone.” She repeated, more calmly, “It’s been destroyed in battle.”

She stared at Riven as she watched her in silence, frozen in time and space for a few seconds.

And then, completely out of nowhere, Riven started laughing, loudly.

“You’re funny!” She said, slowly calming down, “But my blade cannot be destroyed,” She smiled, “Now tell me where is it, before I get angry.”

Irelia shook her head. “It’s gone, Riven.”

Riven shook her head, a pleasant smile on her lips, “It isn’t.”

“But it  _ is _ ,” Irelia said, shifting on her seat. “And you know it is. Deep inside, you know it.”

Riven frowned, shaking her head a bit, letting out a quiet, “No…”

“Riven,” Irelia said in a soft voice, placing a hand on the former Noxian’s cheek, “Search for it in your head. You’ve seen it happen.”

Riven frowned, her eyes unfocusing as she slowed to a stop, freezing again.

She saw something, through her mind’s eye.

A warrior with big gauntlets, punching her relentlessly as she protected herself with her blade.

The battlefield was weird; Riven didn’t know where she was standing, but she could feel the agony of it, the pain of fighting, the pleasure of striking.

She loved all of it, adored it all.

But then the brawler punched her into the air and jumped to follow her.

Then she brought her blade to protect herself.

Then those fists came down and—

“No,” Riven said, shaking her head. “It didn’t happen.”

Irelia nodded her head, “It did, Riven.” She said, stroking the woman’s cheek, “It got destroyed.”

“That cannot happen,” Riven said, slowly starting to look desperate again. “Not to me.”

“But it did.”

“No,” Riven said, a nervous laugh coming out as she shook her head, “It just can’t—”

But then Irelia’s hands were both on her face, refocusing her on the Ionian as she said, “Riven.”

“It can’t be true.”

Irelia sighed, “But it is.”

Riven kept negating it had happened, shaking her head and trying to reason with Irelia, telling her it just couldn’t happen, but the Ionian’s patience was endless as she kept telling her, as calmly as she could, that it had.

It wasn’t any less heartbreaking, though.

“It just cannot be possible—”

“Riven,” Irelia said, forcing her to make eye contact with her. “Your blade  _ is gone.” _

Is gone.

“It’s gone.” Irelia repeated, trying to drive the point home.

She had succeeded.

Riven froze, “It’s gone,” She repeated, her eyes drifting away from Irelia’s before coming back, “It’s gone.” She said, looking like she was ready to cry. “It’s—”

But then she was screaming, falling back on the mattress, her hands on her ears as she squeezed her eyes shut.

Irelia watched her, concerned and afraid.

“ _ Forgive me!”  _ Riven roared, madly, “ _ Please, forgive me!” _

Irelia couldn’t do more than watch.

“ _ I know I failed!”  _ Riven kept going, “ _ But please,”  _ Her voice cracked, “ _ Forgive me!” _

It was then that Irelia realized.

Riven wasn’t alone.

She was never alone, never had been.

The ghosts of her past followed her everywhere.

And now, without her blade, they were more alive than ever.

“ _ Please!”  _ She kept screaming at them, tears coming out of her eyes. “ _ I know I’m to blame, but please!” _

But then, at those words, she stopped.

No more crying, no more squeezing, no more trashing.

She opened her eyes, as if she had just been told a shocking truth.

Her eyes moved to Irelia’s.

The Ionian feared what her ghastly informants may have told her.

“You wanted my blade destroyed.”

Irelia shook her head. “That’s not true.”

How good a liar was she?

What a bad time to not know.

“You did,” Riven said, incorporating once more, “They told me.”

She was afraid to ask, but, “Who told you?”

“ _ Everyone.” _

And the sadness and negation were gone, replaced by something else.

“Why did you want it broken? Why did you help the fighter destroy it?”

Fury.

Irelia was suddenly hyper aware of the nightstand to her side, the syringes resting on it.

“I didn’t—”

“ _ But you did!”  _ Riven shouted.

“Riven—”

The Noxian quickly pushed her down against the bed and got on top of her. “ _ Why did you do it!?”  _ She forced Irelia to stare into her eyes, “ _ You’re to blame! Why did you do it!?” _

Irelia’s hand darted to the nightstand.

“ _ Why did you do it!?”  _ Riven screamed, her hands coming to rest on Irelia’s neck—

She felt Riven’s body stiffen as she stabbed her neck with a syringe, quickly pushing its’ contents into her body.

She watched as the Noxian slowly gave up, her strength abandoning her, her eyes getting droopy, before finally falling under the sedative’s spell, her body limp on top of hers.

Irelia stayed there, frozen, letting her breathing slow down, her heart go back to a more human speed.

Once she was able to calm down, she moved Riven’s body from her position on top of her and got up, taking her phone out of her pocket.

She opened Vi’s contact and typed out her message;

_ Changed my mind about drinking. _

It wasn’t too long before Vi opened the message, evident on the small  _ Seen  _ she could read underneath her own message.

She saw that the brawler was typing and, instantly, she saw her reply on the screen;

_ On my way. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue jeans... white shirt...
> 
> Hi babies! I am BACK!!!! Sorry for disappearing for so long, it's just that Uni (film shooting + my thesis) was kicking my ass and needed to focus on that, so I took a break from absolutely everything except that :)
> 
> But now I'm here and I'm ready to bring all the drama! lmfao I love y'all.
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments!


	24. By Means Which Have Never Yet Been Tried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vi comes over and guides Irelia through the process of getting drunk, hearing her confess a few secrets. Riven struggles with her memory.

Vi had arrived in no time, her eyes locked on Irelia’s stressed expression as she made her way into the safehouse, locking the door behind her, before moving towards the fridge and grabbing them a drink each.

No questions asked, no words exchanged, Irelia grabbed her can and opened it, watching Vi do the same, before the Enforcer said, “Bottoms up,” and they both brought their drinks to their lips..

She hated it, but she kept downing the liquid until all of it was down her throat and it was only then that she put the can down on the table.

“This is _still_ disgusting,” She announced to Vi with a grimace, before motioning for the woman to give her another one.

Vi finished her own without pulling a face like Irelia, before licking her lips clear from the liquid and pulling out two other cans from the fridge, “It will keep being disgusting up until some point in which you’ll realize you suddenly don’t give a fuck about it.” She opened her can as Irelia opened hers, “Now, drink up.”

“Cheers,” Irelia said, before taking a sip and putting it down.

Vi mimicked her, letting a few seconds go by before asking, “So, will you tell me what happened or should I wait until you’re drunk and ask again?”

“Riven woke up.” She quickly said, before taking another sip from her beer.

“And she didn’t have anything _nice_ to say, did she?”

Irelia shook her head. “She asked me where her blade was and once I told her it was gone, she lost her wits.”

Vi frowned, “And how did you knock her out? Did you punch her lights out or...” She asked, her eyes wandering to the former Noxian.

Irelia watched as Vi’s eyes widened.“I se—” 

“I can tell you sedated her.” Vi cut her off.

Irelia frowned, “How…?” She turned to look at Riven.

Her eyebrows shot to her hairline when she saw the syringe’s needle that was still stuck in her neck.

“You didn’t pull it out,” Vi pointed out, before walking towards Riven and pulling the needle out of her neck, letting out a loud, “ _You emptied the whole thing into her neck!?”_

Fear gripped Irelia’s heart. “Maybe I did?” She swallowed saliva, “Is it bad?”

Vi slowly turned around, a bewildered expression on her face as her eyes went from the empty syringe to Irelia’s eyes, before letting out a loud laugh.

Irelia simply watched her.

_“You gave her a dose big enough to put the whole fucking city to sleep!”_

It didn’t tell Irelia whether she had just killed Riven with sedatives or not, so it certainly did nothing to put her at ease.

Vi managed to calm down a bit, so she wiped a tear from her eye before saying, “You drugged her hard enough I bet even her ancestors are sedated, but she will be fine.” She chuckled, trying not to laugh, “She will be waking up in a month, maybe two, but it will be okay, she won’t lose any of the braincells she still owns.”

Irelia sighed in relief, “You scared me there for a second.” She said, before taking a big gulp of her drink, if only to push down the fear.

It didn’t taste as bad as it did a few seconds ago.

Irelia started to understand the whole drinking beer thing.

“I’m sorry, I guess it’s my fault,” Vi said, walking back to her spot between the fridge and the counter. “I never told you the sedative is ridiculously strong.”

“Now I know.” Irelia said, taking another sip.

“That’s good to hear.” Vi said, before placing the syringe on the counter and mimicking Irelia’s drinking. “So, what _exactly_ happened that suddenly you decided to get wasted? You don’t seem like the kind of person who’d deal with shit through alcohol.”

“Because I’m not.” Irelia said, taking another sip, “She woke up and asked me where her blade was.” She looked pained, “She refused to believe me when I told her it was gone.”

Vi was frowning, “She just woke up and was like _hey Irelia where the fuck is my blade_?”

“No,” Irelia replied, “It was more like _hey stranger, where’s my blade?”_

“ _Stranger?”_

Irelia nodded, “She didn’t know who I was. Couldn’t remember me.”

Vi’s brows shot up, “Okay, that’s…”

“Bad.” Irelia filled in the blank for her.

Vi nodded, “Yeah, _bad.”_ She echoed, before taking another sip, “And what happened then?”

“She refused to believe me for a while, before screaming at some voices in her head to _forgive her.”_ She ignored the wide-eyed look Vi was giving her, “And then those voices must have told her that _I_ broke her blade, which is not entirely false, so she got angry at me, tried to attack me and then I stabbed her with the syringe and put her to sleep.”

Vi blinked once, twice, then she said, “So she woke up, unable to remember anything but her blade, then asked you about it, then refused to believe you, then _argued with some voices in her head, which told her you broke her blade,_ then tried to kill you, then you drugged her?”

Irelia nodded, “That’s about it.”

Vi was frozen in place for a few seconds, before letting out a low whistle. “Girl, she’s _crazy,_ but like, _seriously crazy.”_

Irelia sighed, rubbing her eyes with her thumb and index finger. “She’s not _crazy,_ she’s just—”

“Fucked up.” Vi cut her off.

“Broken, but not beyond repair.” Irelia corrected, insisted.

“I remember you telling me that, before.”

She shrugged, “I firmly believe it.”

Vi raised a brow, “I can tell.” She took a gulp of her drink, “So, the magic which she was under really is strong, then, if it makes her forget things and _hear voices.”_

“I believe it makes her see things, too.”

Vi raised both brows for a second, before making a wild face, “Oh boy,” She said, before downing what remained of her can. “You’re in for a treat, Irelia.”

She nodded, sighing, before downing what remained of her drink, too, “I know. She’s a whole deal.”

“And yet you stick with her.”

She missed the way Vi smirked.

“And yet I stick with her.” She echoed, lost in her mind as she watched Riven, asleep.

“So Caitlyn was right,” Vi announced as she grabbed them another couple of drinks, “When she said she’s going through the stages of grief.”

Irelia eyed her curiously as she accepted the beer, “The stages of grief?”

“Yeah,” Vi said, “You know; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.” She smirked, “You’ve seen denial and anger, already.”

“I think she’s _stuck_ in anger.” Irelia joked, humorlessly.

“I don’t know if _stuck,_ but she goes back to it every once in a while, I bet.”

Irelia sighed, “This is going to be _long.”_

“I doubt that,” Vi said, making the woman look at her, “I mean, she’s already beyond denial, so I think she progresses fast, but she _is_ hard to deal with, considering how far gone she is,” She drank a bit of her beer, “Her mind having been eaten by the runic magic, it’s only expected for the process to be _violent,_ but not necessarily _slow.”_

Irelia’s eyes wandered from the pink haired woman to the former Noxian, “I hope you’re right. I mean, I cannot change the violence in her, so at least let’s make this as quick as possible.”

“Do you want to change the violence in her, though?”

Irelia looked at her, “When it hurts her, like it’s doing right now? Yes.” She frowned at the way Vi smiled at her, “What?”

“Nothing, nothing,” She commented, gasping when she saw Irelia roll her eyes at her. “What was that?”

“I rolled my eyes at you.”

“You _rolled your eyes at me?”_ She pretended to be hurt when she saw Irelia nod her head, “I think someone’s already feeling the alcohol’s effect.”

Irelia chuckled, “Do you really think that?”

“How often do you drink when in Ionia?”

“Never.”

“Then it’s definitely getting to you, already.” Vi said with a wide smile, “I’m getting Captain Lito tipsy!”

Irelia was trying not to laugh, failing to keep a straight face, “I am _not_ tipsy.” She announced, a serious look on her face, which disappeared after holding Vi’s stare for a second, giving way to a bellowing laugh.

“You definitely are, after only _two full beers,”_ Vi laughed at her, “You’re unbelievable.”

“I am _not!”_

“Come here and prove it.” Vi said, knowing better.

Irelia got up from the stool, her eyes widening as she did so, before quickly sitting down again, “How about we don’t do that?”

And that sequence was all it took for Vi to lose her mind, laughing, “You _are!”_

Irelia rolled her eyes, but she was fighting to keep a smile from her face, “Okay, maybe a little bit, let me be!”

Vi tried to stop laughing, “Oh, I let you be, don’t worry.” She said, smiling hard. “I’m just witnessing it all.”

“Whatever,” Irelia said, drinking some more.

“So, will you tell me what the deal is between you and Noxian girl over there?”

Irelia eyed Vi, “Define _deal.”_

“You know,” Vi said, shrugging, slowly bringing her beer up to her lips, “Why you’re here in Zaun, how you guys met, whether you fucked her yet or not…” She took a sip, trying not to laugh at the wild look on Irelia’s face at her last question, “That kind of stuff.”

“As if I’d tell you all of that!” Irelia complained, “I barely know you.”

“Oh, but I told you about me,” Vi said, walking towards Irelia and taking a seat next to her, her back to the counter, “I think it’s only fair you share your childhood traumas with me, after that.”

Irelia raised a brow, hiding her mouth behind her can, “No one asked you to share anything with me.”

“You asked me questions, I gave you answers.”

“Okay, okay,” Irelia said after taking a sip, “But you weren’t forced to answer.” She frowned, “Why would you share so much information, anyway?”

Vi shrugged, “I used to be more reserved, before meeting Cait. Didn’t have many people I could trust.” She took a big gulp, “Now it’s different, I can see Caitlyn has kind of changed me.” She then turned to Irelia, “And I even told you about how I like my boss! Come on, isn’t that deserving of, at least, a bit of information regarding you and the Sleeping Beauty?”

Irelia groaned, “It’s a _long_ story.”

“Well, we’ve got until she wakes up for you to tell me.”

A beat.

Irelia got serious for long enough to ask, “Is she really going to wake up in a month?”

Vi laughed at that, “A day, maybe two, but that’s it.”

“Okay,” Irelia said, nodding her head, sighing in relief, “Good.”

“So, can you tell me about you two?”

Irelia turned around, resting her back against the counter, like Vi did, both of them watching Riven, “We met a long time ago, in a war.”

Vi raised her eyebrows suggestively, “That’s oddly romantic—”

“She was trying to kill me and enter my city.”

Vi’s mirth died out. “Oh.” A second of silence, then, “Kinky.”

Irelia shoved her shoulder, “Vi!” She scolded her, laughing at the brawler’s contagious laughter.

“Keep telling me the story!”

So Irelia obliged and, beer after beer she told her about how she met Riven during that war.

How they met once more, after time had passed.

How she invited her back, for she felt the need to search for closure with the former Noxian.

How they slowly grew closer.

How they found out more and more about what had happened the night they had met.

How they decided to find answers and travelled to Noxus.

How they escaped, going to Zaun due to _an anonymous informant’s_ suggestion.

How they found Piltover’s duo, instead.

Then the blade.

The hospital.

The safehouse.

An hour, maybe two, only talking about their story.

Irelia finished what remained of her fifth —was it the fifth? —beer, going slower than Vi, always finishing her beer when it was already warm.

She didn’t care about the taste anymore.

“You were right, by the way,” She said, her words slurred, “This shit doesn’t taste like shit anymore.”

Vi was slowing down her drinking, if only to avoid making Irelia feel like she should rush, “I told you it’d happen, eventually.” She said, a smug smirk on her lips. “So, that explains how you met and why you’re here, but what’s up between you two?”

“Nothing’s up—”

“Don’t give me that bullshit because I won’t buy it.” Vi said, looking at her with a bored expression. “I _saw_ the way you look at her.”

Irelia raised a brow, “Like I’m afraid she’s about to eat my head?”

“Like you want her to eat other parts of you—” She laughed when Irelia punched her arm _,_ “Oh, come on! You know it’s true!”

But Irelia wasn’t really laughing. “Cut it out.”

Vi didn’t have to be told twice. “Fine,” She agreed, “But still.” She wouldn’t let it rest. “You can’t tell me she’s _just your friend.”_

“She _is_ only my friend, though,” Irelia replied, watching the sleeping Noxian.

“Do you want her to be _only_ your friend?” Vi asked her, earning a glare, “I know I don’t want Caitlyn to be _just my boss,_ but I cannot help it.” She confessed, opening up once more, if only to make the other woman do the same.

Irelia’s glare softened, before she looked at Riven again and sighed, “I used to hate her.” She started, “I used to blame her for everything bad that’s ever happened to me. Then I started to know her better,” She inhaled and exhaled slowly and deeply, a sign for the brawler that the Ionian was completely drunk, “And I started to hate the fact that I couldn’t hate her anymore, I couldn’t blame her for everything anymore, because I started to…” She looked for a correct way of saying it, “I started to not mind her.” She sighed, “Then I started to enjoy her presence. Then I didn’t know when she had become my friend, but she was always there and I started to _care_.”

Vi shifted on her seat, watching Irelia for a second before asking her, “And was it around that time, when you started to feel attracted to her, or did that come after?”

It was a bold move on her behalf, but...

“It was around that time, I think,” Irelia confessed, suddenly feeling like drinking another beer, “We’d train together and, sometimes, it’d be a bit hard, pretending I’m not aware of how toned her body is, or ignoring the fact that _I know_ I could easily get addicted to her underneath or above me.”

“I’d bet _above_ you.”

Irelia looked at Vi.

There was no anger in the way she looked at her, but she felt _seen_ by the brawler _,_ in a way.

“I’d bet above me, too.”

Vi nodded her head slowly, finishing off her drink. “So you like her.”

Irelia nodded, “I like her.”

“Have you told her yet?”

“Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“Because the circums…” She failed to say the word properly, “The circumstances make it a really untimely thing.” She tried once more, her tongue slower than she’d like.

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that this is not the right time nor the right place for me to tell her I want her deep inside—”

“ _Okay,”_ Vi cut her off, “But _why_ isn’t it? What better time than _now?_ What better place than away from everyone who might oppose?” She reasoned, not as drunk as Irelia, “Nobody knows who you are here in Zaun, so you might as well just go ahead and take the leap here and now.”

“Haven’t you been listening to what I’ve told you?” Irelia asked her, “We’re here, trying to catch a guy who used to be her _friend,_ because he tried to get her _killed_ in the middle of a war.” She wasn’t angry at Vi, but there was a certain animosity to her voice, “This is certainly _not_ the time nor the place for me to tell her anything like that. Duty first, anything else second.”

“Okay, fine, I can see your point,” Vi said, unable to not see how Irelia and Caitlyn were, in a way, the exact same person, “But I still think you should tell her.” Vi shrugged, “I mean, she totally likes you back, so there’s nothing to lose—”

“You don’t know that.”

Vi snorted, “Yeah, right. Irelia, I’ve been around her being conscious and not insane for, what? Five minutes? And I can already tell that—”

“You don’t know her, nor the way she acts around everyone.” And then, when she remembered the sadness Riven had felt upon not being able to bid Diana farewell, she added, “And I believe she’s interested in someone else.”

“I don’t know how she acts, because I don’t need to,” Vi said, completely ignoring her comment about Riven liking someone else, “She clearly likes you, too. Woman up and just kiss her when she’s back in control of her own brain.”

Irelia rolled her eyes. “When _all of this is over,_ I’ll see what I do about my attraction to her. Until then, I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Are you afraid she won’t want to kiss you back?”

Irelia glared at her. “I’m not afraid of nonsense like that.”

“Then _what is—”_

 _“_ You’re starting to get on my nerves.” Irelia warned, “I already told you what you wanted to know; wrong time, wrong place, so now let it rest.”

Vi raised both her eyebrows, “Okay, just don’t act all surprised when she ends up in your bed, telling you how she wanted you badly since day one.”

Irelia looked annoyed, “Enough of that.” She then frowned at Vi, “Give me another beer.”

“Oh, no.” Vi refused, shaking her head, “You’re not drinking anymore.”

Irelia’s eyes widened, “What? Why not!?”

“Because it’s all fun and games until you drink more than your body can handle and end up with your face down the toilet, throwing up your guts, me holding your hair while you do so.”

Irelia pouted, but that —currently small —part of her brain in charge of her common sense made a note to thank Vi, later. “Fine.”

“Hey, don’t get like that!” Vi said, throwing all the empty cans into the trashcan, “We can still have fun.”

“How so?” Irelia asked, watching as Vi grabbed two shot glasses and a jar of water from the fridge.

“We can play some sort of drinking game, minus the drinking.” Vi offered, putting the tiny glasses in between them as she took her spot on the other side of the counter. “Trust me, you’re drunk enough for this to be fun anyway.”

Irelia rolled her eyes, “Okay,” She agreed, her hand shooting towards the shot glass as Vi poured them both some water in it. “What’s the game?”

“It’s very simple,” Vi said, a smile on her lips, “You say something you’ve never done and if—”

“ _Never have I ever?”_ Irelia asked, cutting her off, “I _know_ how that game goes, Vi. We _do_ have drinking games in Ionia, I’ll have you know.”

Vi laughed, “Okay, Miss _I-know-it-all-about-drinking-games,”_ Irelia rolled her eyes at that, “You first.”

Irelia narrowed her eyes, as if deep in thought. “Never have I ever…” She hummed, deep in thought. “Never have I ever crushed on my boss.”

Vi glared at her, “Ha, ha, so funny.” She downed the glass and refilled it, “Never have I ever crushed on my enemy.”

Irelia looked at her with a bored expression and downed her glass, watching as Vi refilled it, smiling smugly. “Never have I ever crushed on a woman named Caitlyn.”

“Oh, come on!” Vi complained, watching as Irelia laughed out loud, “That’s ridiculous!”

Irelia had tears in her eyes, “Drink.”

Vi stifled a laugh and downed the glass, refilling it as she said, “Never have I ever crushed on a woman named Riven.”

Irelia downed the drink, nodding her head, “I saw that one coming. Never have I ever crushed on a Piltie—”

“ _Enough_ of this madness,” Vi cut her off, laughing, “Ask me something else that does _not_ involve Caitlyn.”

Irelia laughed, “But these are fun!”

“But they’re all the same! Ask me something else.”

“Fine!” Irelia agreed, sighing dramatically, “Let me think.” She concentrated, “Never have I ever…” She eyed Vi, “Never have I ever been in a street fight.”

They both downed their glasses at that.

“Now this is more fun,” She said, smirking, “Never have I ever killed a person.”

They both downed their glasses.

“Okay, this is turning dark very quickly,” Irelia warned, “Never have I ever…” She thought hard about it, “Never have I ever kicked a guy in the balls.”

Having not expected that, Vi laughed out loud, before downing her glass. “Okay, I see. Never have I ever given anyone a wedgie.”

Irelia laughed at it, but she didn’t drink, while Vi did. “Never?”

Irelia smiled, “Never ever.”

“Oh, come on!”

“Never have I ever drooled over someone’s shirt.”

Vi drank, Irelia did not.

The brawler stared into Irelia’s eyes, “Never have I ever licked someone’s neck.”

They both drank.

Irelia saw the way Vi’s eyes had darkened. “Okay, I see.” She said, acknowledging the shift, the change in course, “Never have I ever had my neck licked by someone else.”

They both drank, once more.

“Let me push it,” Vi dared, “Never have I ever slept with someone else.”

Irelia looked at her bored, as if rather offended by the implied question.

They both drank.

She smirked, “Never have I ever slept with my boss.”

Neither drank, Vi looking mockingly annoyed, the look disappearing when she said, “Never have I ever slept with a woman.”

And both of them drank.

Vi raised her brows, “Really?”

Irelia replied by saying, “Never have I ever slept with a man.”

And neither drank.

Vi raised her eyebrows, “I thought you had never been with a woman, before.”

“I’ve only been with women.”

“Oh,” She smirked, “ _Women,_ _plural._ ”

Irelia rolled her eyes, “Yes, _plural.”_

“Tell me about it.”

Irelia shook her head, “I don’t think so.”

“Oh, come on, Irelia,” Vi said, smirking, “Were they Ionians?”

Irelia raised her brow, “This is the first time I’m out of Ionia, what do you think?”

She was still smiling, “And how are Ionians in bed?”

Irelia rolled her eyes, “I’m not asking you about the women you’ve slept with, so I think I’m allowed not to answer.”

“I’d tell you everything about them, if you wanted.”

Irelia glared, but there was no malice there, “I don’t want to know.” She said, which made Vi chuckle, shaking her head. “What?”

“You’re just like Caitlyn.”

“Because I don’t want to know about your sexual rendezvous?” She asked, watching Vi nod, laughing at it, “Oh, Vi, you’re a fool if you think Caitlyn wouldn’t want to know.”

She hadn’t expected that. “What?”

“Caitlyn and I are quite alike, right?” Vi nodded, “Well, that means I can read her better than you do.” She smirked, “I’m really perceptive.”

“And yet you cannot tell Riven’s in too deep for you.”

She blushed, glaring at Vi as she said, “Hush, we’re not talking about that.”

Vi clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, “This is _exactly_ what I meant, before I left.” She saw Irelia raise a brow, “When you told me my attraction towards Cailtyn was evident, but you didn’t think it was _that_ way. I said it explained a lot about you.”

Irelia managed to remember that. “You did.”

“You _are_ perceptive, I’m not saying you’re blind to these things, but you’re unable to see people’s true intentions,” She smirked, “You can see how Riven acts, but you’re unable to see it’s because she’s into you.”

Irelia glared at her. “I know exactly when someone’s trying to mess with me.”

“Okay, you’re able to sense when someone’s ill intentioned, but not when they want to bed you.”

“Oh, shut up.” Irelia brushed her off, “You say that as if you could read everyone like they were open books, but you can’t tell Caitlyn is into you.”

Vi almost bit her own tongue, “What?”

Irelia nodded once, a knowing look all over her expression, “She’s attracted to you, but she’s into the whole power dynamic where she’s on top and you’re underneath her.”

Vi’s mouth was hanging open, “That’s certainly _not_ true.”

“Oh, it is.” Irelia said, nodding her head vigorously. “But you can’t see it because you still don’t understand your own boss.” She raised a brow, “How long have you been working together?”

“Long enough for me to know her and know you’re lying.”

“Then I’m right and you still don’t understand your own boss.”

“How would you know this, then?” Vi asked, incredulously.

Irelia started drinking water from the bottle, “Because I’m like her.” She took a big gulp, “She likes playing hard to get but she’s really into you and probably fantasizes about giving you orders in a scenario different to an office.” She then thought about it, “Or maybe she wants to give you _those orders_ in, specifically, _her_ office.”

Vi was red, her mind _actually_ conjuring up those thoughts. “You can’t be actually serious.”

And Irelia was smirking, “I am, though.”

“It’s _impossible—”_

 _“_ Look, act a bit cold towards her for a day or two and then tell me how she reacts to that.” She had an idea, then, “Actually, stop calling her _Cupcake_ for a whole day. That’ll do the trick. She’ll be weirded out by it.”

Vi scoffed, “Yeah, because I do it all the time. It’s only logical.”

“No, logical would be for her to be _pleased_ by the lack of _Cupcakes_ coming from you.” Irelia retorted, “But she won’t be pleased, she’ll be _weirded out.”_

Vi rolled her eyes, but Irelia could tell she was thinking about it. “Sure.”

“Trust me, I never fail to read people.” Irelia said, a smug look on her lips.

She almost flinched when she saw Vi’s expression mirror hers, “Oh, really? You’re good at reading people?”

She felt the need not to lose whatever battle they had just gotten into. “Very much so.”

Vi leaned over the table, “And can you read _me_ that easily?”

Irelia nodded her head, “I can, actually.”

Vi chuckled, “I doubt you can, honestly.”

“Try me.”

She regretted saying that the moment she said it, as she watched Vi’s eyes grow dark.

Vi’s hand shot to the back of Irelia’s neck and held her there as she leaned in too close.

She didn’t dare move. “What are you doing—”

V’s hand moved to the front of Irelia’s neck, holding tight enough for the Ionian not to move, but not hard enough that it hurted her, trapping Irelia, leaning in as close as humanly possible without reaching contact, “Letting you get a closer look.”

“Move closer and I’ll be forced—”

“To kiss me?”

“To kick your ass.” Irelia said, smirking.

“You’re funny, you _actually think_ you can beat me up,” Vi said, smiling at the girl, but leaning a bit backwards, “ I think you’d have you and I could have a lot of fun together.”

Her tone was light.

She was not forcing Irelia.

She was _inviting_ her.

“Maybe,” A kind of melancholic look taking over her, Irelia sighed. “But you’re not the one I want to have fun with.”

And she was trying to look at Vi, but her eyes darted towards Riven, if only to drive the point harder into her brain.

Not because Riven was the one she wanted. Of course not.

Vi lolled her head to a side, “I mean, you’re not the one I want to have fun with either, if we go by that logic.” She raised a brow. “But _oh, well.”_

“It’s not that simple.”

Vi leaned closer again, but this time, to get a better look into Irelia’s eyes as she narrowed her own.

Then she said, “You love her.”

And it had not been a question.

Irelia frowned, “We don’t know that.”

“I think that _not knowing_ is a big enough indicator of whether you do or not.”

Irelia glared, “I _don’t know_ it.”

And she truly meant it, she didn’t know it.

But apparently Vi knew better, for there was a smug look on her face as she pulled away, “Okay,” She said, before walking towards the long couch and throwing herself on it. “I’m going to sleep here tonight, I don’t think it’d be wise to drive back to Piltover and be pulled over by my _boss,_ me being _drunk.”_

“Okay,” Irelia said, yawning as she did so, only just then feeling the exhaustion the day left on her shoulders, “Where do I sleep, though?”

Vi’s head popped up from behind the couch’s backrest, a bored expression on her face, “We could share the sofa. I’m not going to take advantage of you, you know?”

Irelia made an exasperated face, “I never said that!”

“You thought it.”

“Vi that’s not—” She saw Vi smirking, trying to keep laughter from leaving her lips, the whole thing having been an act, “You’re insufferable!”

“I’ve heard that same thing, before.” Vi said, before they both went mute as they heard Riven mumble something incomprehensible in her sleep, shifting and moving around a bit, before going silent again.

A thought hit Vi and she frowned.

“Okay, maybe she _could_ wake up while we’re asleep,” She looked at Irelia, “Are you a light sleeper?”

Irelia nodded, “Yeah, unfortunately.”

“Good,” Vi said, “Then sleep next to her.”

She had not expected that. “What?”

“I’m a heavy sleeper and we need someone to wake up the moment she does, if she wakes before us.” Vi laid back down and Irelia couldn’t see her anymore, only hear her as she said, “Considering that, I’m definitely the worst option to stay close to her, so you should take that spot. If she moves too much she’ll wake you and that way we’ll make sure she isn’t left alone.”

Irelia could actually see the logic behind her words, but after having said what she felt out loud, finally acknowledging it in front of someone else and, therefore, giving it _shape,_ bringing it into _reality…_

She felt weird about it, to say the least.

_Still, Vi is right._

_You should sleep with her, if only to keep an eye on her._

_Only because of that._

So, hesitant still, Irelia walked towards the bed and laid down next to Riven, her eyes on the Noxian’s face as she slept.

* * *

 

She couldn’t remember falling asleep. It was as if she had blinked and suddenly, at some point, her eyes opened no more.

But now they were wide open.

They had to be, for Riven was perched atop her, nudging her shoulder, mumbling a quiet, “Wake up. Hey, wake up,” Trying to catch her attention, stopping only when the Ionian’s blue eyes locked on hers.

Still green.

“You’re alive.” Riven mumbled.

Irelia blinked hard, trying to fight the thick, dizzy headache she was forced to deal with.

_Damn you, Vi. You and your stupid beers._

“Barely,” She joked, her voice croaky, “But I am.”

“I thought I had killed you.”

Irelia slowly tried to sit up, Riven giving her room as she moved, “Yeah, it didn’t work.”

Riven studied her, making the Ionian more and more uncomfortable with her neutral expression. “I failed.”

Irelia nodded, seeing Riven’s temporary calmness as something she could maybe use to her benefit, “You failed, but why do you want to kill me, anyway? I’m your _friend,_ Riven.” She placed her hand on the Noxian’s shoulder, “I can help you.”

“Help me with what?”

And there had been a certain bite to her tone.

It made Irelia uneasy.

“I asked you some—”

The Ionian quickly tackled Riven down, straddling her and holding her in place against the mattress, using her body to keep her there, her hand coming up to Riven’s mouth to keep her from screaming as the Noxian trashed around, trying to release herself from Irelia.

Irelia hissed as Riven bit her hand, hard, making the Ionian uncover it, but still holding Riven down.

“What the Hell are you doing!?”

“You’re going to attack me, aren’t you?” Irelia asked her urgently in a hushed voice, ignoring the pain her body was under. “You’re going to try to kill me _again_ , all because of your _stupid blade!”_

“So it was true, what they said.” Riven said, her voice rather gentle, despite the alarm in her green eyes, “You broke my blade.”

Irelia nodded her head, squeezing her eyes shut as she did so, “I did.”

Riven fought against her grip, but it wasn’t as strong as before, “Why?”

“Because it was hurting you,” Irelia told her, “And I didn’t want to let it keep doing that.”

Riven looked _devastated._ “But my sword is a part of me, I am _nothing_ without it!”

“You are more than your blade.” Irelia tried, “You are more than just—”

“I’m _nothing_ without it,” Riven repeated, looking desperate as she shook her head, all will to fight gone from her body, “How can I be a soldier if I don’t have my weapon?” She looked into Irelia’s eyes, her own filled with tears, “How can I fight for them, fulfill their wishes, if my sword is _gone?”_

“Fight for _who?”_

“For _them!”_ Riven said, looking all around, “For all of them!” She couldn’t understand, “Can’t you see them?”

It broke Irelia’s heart.

“Riven,” Her grip softened, “There’s no one there.”

Riven looked frightened. “What…?”

Irelia released her, slowly helping her back to a sitting position. “Look around and try to focus,” She ordered the woman in a soft voice, “It’s only us in here.”

Riven looked like she didn’t want to bother giving it a shot, too lost in her own fears to do so.

So Irelia sat behind Riven, coming close enough so that her head was on the Noxian’s shoulder and, gently, she told her again, “Look around with me,” She said, her hand coming to Riven’s chin and making her head turn slowly, “We’re in a room stuffed with a _lot_ of things, but there’s no one else here. Only you and I.”

She noticed Riven shutting her eyes closed, squeezing them, her hands coming up to rub them, those unshed tears finally coming down and leaving tracks on their wake as she reopened them and realized one thing.

Her _friend_ was right.

There was no one there.

“It can’t be…” She mumbled, “I, I saw them, I saw the Crimson Elite and the Noxian army and—”

“Riven.”

The Noxian’s head turned towards the Ionian’s, who shook it slowly.

“They’re all gone.”

That seemed to make an alarm go off in her head. “Gone?”

“They’re dead.”

Riven looked away, her eyes unfocusing as she thought.

As she _remembered._

She remembered a fight.

She remembered _many_ fights.

A war.

Fire.

Tears started to come down, her voice watery as she mumbled, “They’re all gone…”

Then she remembered a woman.

Her breath hitched as she turned to look at Irelia once more.

“I know you.”

Irelia froze.

Riven seemed aware of the fact that her memory was not working properly.

“You were there, when they died.”

She tried to keep calm. “I was.”

Riven was frowning, focusing on her memories. “You and I,” She started, “We were fighting.” Irelia opened her mouth to speak, but then Riven said, “Against each other.”

Irelia stared into Riven’s eyes, her lip quivering as she tried to come up with something to say, “I—”

“You’re _Ionian.”_ Riven said, turning to fully look at Irelia.

There was no anger behind those green eyes.

No anger, but something else.

_Recognition, maybe?_

It all took Irelia back to the maze.

 _My mind is a maze,_ Riven had confessed to her, many moons ago.

And Irelia knew she was the only one aware of it, the only one willing to navigate it in the dark.

The only one besides Riven who could walk in it.

Irelia nodded her head, slowly, “I am.”

“You’re my _enemy.”_

“I _used_ to be,” Irelia corrected her, “But then we became friends. Do you remember?”

Riven closed her eyes, trying to focus on what Irelia had told her. “I was in a war and I fought against you.” She opened her eyes, but wasn’t looking at Irelia when she continued talking, “My friends got killed that day. So did yours, didn’t they?”

“Yes,” Irelia mumbled, trying not to remember any of them and failing, “They got killed, too.”

“In a fire.”

“In a fire, yes.”

Riven’s breathing was ragged, her hands shaking as she slowly brought them in front of her, studying them.

She gasped, her breathing quickening, her body feeling weak and trembling as she saw the burn scars all over her hands and forearms.

She shook her head, her breathing erratic—

“ _Riven,”_ Irelia said, her tone a bit urgent as she cupped Riven’s cheeks, making her look into her blue eyes, “It’s okay. It’s in the past.”

Riven’s eyes were glassy, tears coming out of them. “I was betrayed by my own men.” Her lip was quivering, “My own men tried to _kill me.”_

Irelia sighed, her thumbs wiping Riven’s eyes, “They tried to kill me too,” Irelia said, as if killing her was not the main purpose of the Noxian army that night, “But they failed. They failed at killing us.” She offered the hint of a smile, “We are indestructible.”

But Riven was having none of it, tears still coming out of her eyes as she said, “My body is fine, but how do you think I feel on the inside?” She shook her head, pushing Irelia’s hands away, “I don’t know who you are, where I am, why I’m here. All I know is that my men tried to kill me and my blade is gone!”

_Certainties help her walk around the maze._

“You broke your blade that night.”

Riven’s eyes widened. “I would never do that.”

“But you _did,”_ Irelia said, “You broke it with your _own hands._ You didn’t destroy it, _I did_ , but you broke it into pieces.”

Riven frowned, trying to make sense of Irelia’s words, before her hands shot to her head, pressing against it as if she were having a migraine, painful groaning leaving her lips.

She leaned forwards and Irelia quickly caught her, the Noxian’s head pressing against her shoulder, “What’s the matter?”

“Tell me something,” She said between gritted teeth, “If they’re all gone, why can I still hear their complaints?”

“They’ve been with you for a while,” Irelia told her, “Breaking your blade was the first step to making them all go away.”

“Make them _stop!”_ Riven begged, her fingers tangling themselves on white locks of hair and pulling from them, “Make them all _stop, please!”_

She didn’t know exactly how to do that. “Riven—”

Riven’s hands shot to Irelia’s shoulders, “ _Please—”_ She stopped her begging, suddenly, as her eyes caught a glimpse of the amulet around Irelia’s neck.

Her fingers twitched towards it, desperate to touch it.

She analyzed the symbol, her eyes running over it, her fingers turning it around time after time.

Recognition lit up green eyes as they looked into Irelia’s, “Who gave you this?”

Irelia felt a lump in her throat. “You did.”

Riven shook her head; that had not been the answer she wanted. “And who gave it to me?” Her breathing was still a bit ragged, “Who is she?” She asked, closing her eyes, “Silver hair and silver eyes. What’s her name and why do I remember her?”

_Certainties turn on the lights in the maze._

_Give her the information she asks for._

“Her name is Diana,” Irelia said, softly, “She’s the Chosen of the Moon: one of the two leaders of the Empyrean.”

“Diana…” Riven mumbled, her body, her mind, her _soul_ calming down a bit at the sound of the Targonian’s name. “She’s a friend of mine, isn’t she?”

“She is.”

“She means a lot to me.”

It had not been a question.

“She helped you when you needed it most, I think.” Irelia mused out loud, earning a questioning look from Riven.

The former Noxian looked ready to say something, but then she brought a hand up to her head, again, groaning.

“Does it hurt?”

Riven nodded her head, “It does. Badly.”

But she was not overreacting to it, like she had done before.

It was then when the brawler who was sleeping on the couch —who had been dead to the world until then, quiet enough and still enough that even Irelia forgot she was there —woke up, sitting up and letting out a groan as she stretched.

Both Riven and Irelia looked at her.

Vi opened her eyes and, lavender settling on green, she froze.

Irelia felt Riven tense up.

In just a second, just by looking at Vi, Riven remembered her.

Irelia may have been the one to push the blade to where it needed to be so as to be destroyed, but it had actually been _Vi_ the one to _literally, technically_ break it.

In just another second, she tried to lunge for her, a bestial roar coming out of her.

Despite the killer hangover she would eventually have to nurse, Irelia’s reflexes proved to still be top notch, as she caught Riven and pushed her against the mattress, laying on top of the Noxian’s back and holding her there by snaking one arm around her neck, her free hand shooting to the nightstand and grabbing another syringe.

As Riven trashed to escape her grip, Irelia pressed the needle against her neck, ignoring the Noxian’s complaints as she shot _just a bit_ of the sedative into her bloodstream, slowly releasing her once she felt the warrior give up, finally going limp.

“I’ll guess she recognized me.” Was all Vi could say.

Irelia groaned loudly at that. “ _Why_ is it that she remembers everyone, apparently, but _not me!?”_

Vi chuckled at that. “Maybe she’s trying to forget you.” She didn’t have enough time to dodge the pillow Irelia threw at her face, full force, “Hey!”

“And how come you are _not_ hungover!?”

“I wasn’t _that_ drunk.” Vi said, raising a brow.

Irelia groaned loudly, letting herself fall on the bed.

Vi looked at her, then at Riven.

“What a bad timing I have for waking up, right?”

Irelia’s reply was only another pillow being thrown at the pugilist’s face.

* * *

 

A lack of sense of time was a feeling Irelia hated feeling, but it was the only thing she had felt for…

_What? Days? Weeks?_

How long had it been, since Riven lost her mind?

_Days? Weeks?_

_Or years?_

_Did she lose it that night, so long ago?_

_Did she lose it in Piltover?_

How long had it been, since Riven and her started hiding in Vi’s safehouse?

And when had she last seen Vi?

Irelia sighed, rubbing her eyes with her thumb and index finger.

She wasn’t eating properly, wasn’t resting properly, was only drinking properly, occasionally doing so with the pugilist as she came around and helped her cope with the Noxian, drinking away her problems, chatting and laughing before leaving Irelia alone to her devices, the Ionian preparing for when Riven next woke up.

The process was always the same: Deal with Riven, put her under if she got too violent, drink —sometimes with Vi —go sober once more, see Riven wake up, deal with her, put her under if she got too violent, and so on.

It didn’t mean it was easy.

Riven was giving her a _Hell_ of a time.

_And that’s without counting the times she woke up and Vi was still around here._

Those times, Riven would lose her mind and automatically go violent.

 _That_ was the problem; Riven kept going back to violence.

Irelia was _hellbent_ on helping the Noxian and she _wouldn’t_ give up, but she had to be honest; it was no easy task and it was taking its’ toll on her, making her feel like giving up a bit more, day by day.

But she wouldn’t.

She’d _die_ before leaving Riven behind, to die by her own ghosts’ hands.

The Noxian slowly started to remember a few things, but everything seemed distorted; no matter how many steps forwards Irelia managed to make her take, the ill magic that poisoned her mind always pushed her back, leaving her in the very first step every time.

Riven had denied the blade was broken.

She had gone violent about it, too.

Then she had asked Irelia to give it back to her, actually _begging_ her for it, telling her she’d give her absolutely _anything_ to recover it.

She had bounced from one state to the other, slowly making Irelia lose her own mind.

The good thing was the Ionian wasn’t needing to put her under that often, anymore.

Only when Vi was around and Riven lost her wits. Apart from that, she’d just keep Riven company until the migraines and whatever other effects the runic magic had on her managed to knock her out.

Meanwhile, Irelia’s whole body was in pain; her joints sore, a pounding headache making her wish she could just take her brain out of her skull, dark circles underneath her puffy-with-sleep eyes and bruises from a fight or two with the unpredictable Riven.

She was so close to giving up.

_But I can’t._

And she wouldn’t.

No matter how hard it was, she would keep on trying until one of them died; either Riven or her.

She would _still_ try to make the woman come back to her senses.

She would endure her through those moments of violence, she would use those moments of peace to feed her and help her rest properly, trying to make her remember things.

She would. Somehow, she knew she would bring Riven back.

Even if it felt like a fool’s errand, the last thing one always loses is hope.

And Irelia knew that, in that aspect, she was no different to any other human being.

She was sitting on the couch, staring at some muted show on the TV, paying no attention to it as she zoned out, unable to sleep but also unable to remain awake.

She felt dizzy, felt her eyes droopy…

Darkness _felt beautiful_ as it took over, every time she closed her eyes.

She woke up from her dozing off with a start as she suddenly saw, in between her long blinking, Riven, sitting right in front of her, staring into her eyes.

Still green.

“Riven,” She started, a hand moving to her heart, “You scared me.”

_When did she wake up?_

“Why are you here?”

Irelia sighed, “I’m here because I’m helping you feel better.”

“But _why_ are you even _trying?”_ Riven shook her head, “What’s the _point?_ What’s there for you to win?”

Irelia noticed then that Riven looked _sad._

She remembered Vi mentioning _depression_ as one of the stages of grief.

_If Riven is facing it now, then the only one missing is acceptance._

“There’s nothing for me to win,” Irelia told her, “But there’s a lot to lose.”

“What would you lose?”

“Well, you.”

“We are _enemies,_ Ionian.” Riven said, standing up and walking away, into the studio. “You should leave me to die in here.”

Because _that_ was another thing that had happened, at some point; apparently, Riven had gone from _believing_ the voices in her head to _fearing them,_ convinced that they were trying to kill her.

Not that she was too wrong, though.

“I am not going to leave you, Riven.” Irelia said, standing up and following her. “I’ll be here and I’ll help you feel better, no matter how long it takes.”

“How long has it taken, already?”

Irelia shrugged, “Not long enough.” Was all she could reply.

She watched Riven as she closed her eyes and squeezed them, shaking her head, her hands shooting to her head again.

She was having a migraine again, Irelia knew.

But then Riven was screaming, turning to Vi’s desk and—

“What are you fucking doing!?” Irelia shouted at her, trying to catch her arm before she continued wrecking the things on the desk, throwing them around, to the ground and against the walls.

“What the fuck is _wrong with me!?”_ Riven screamed back, tears on her cheeks as she turned to look at Irelia. “And _why the fuck do you bother!?”_

“Because I want to!” Irelia said, holding her by the wrists, “Because I want to bother! I want to help you!”

“ _You fucking shouldn’t!”_ Riven screamed to her face, “I’m a _lost cause!”_

“You’re not that to me!” Irelia roared, trying to get the message into her brain.

Riven went quiet, all of a sudden.

And then she said something Irelia hadn’t expected her to say.

“Just kill me.”

“What?” She couldn’t believe it, “Riven—”

The Noxian grabbed her by the neck of her shirt, “Just _fucking kill me, already!”_ She begged, tears in her eyes, “Please, just _end this.”_

Irelia shook her head, desperation on her expression, “Riven, I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you _can!”_ Riven roared, “You tried to do it once, of _course_ you _fucking_ can and you _will!”_

“No, Riven! I can’t!”

“ _Yes you can!”_ Riven screamed, marching forwards and pushing Irelia against a wall, the Ionian’s head hitting it hard. “Just fucking do everyone a favor and _kill me!”_

“I can’t and I _won’t_ kill you, Riven!”

“ _Why not!?”_ The poisoned Noxian screamed at her, crying freely, madness clouding her judgement as the voices screamed and— “Why can’t you just grab a sword and stab me in the heart!?” She pushed Irelia against the wall again, getting angrier at the Ionian’s lack of animosity towards her, “Why can’t you just rid the world of me and be done with it?” She inhaled deeply, her face red with the exertion of crying, of screaming, of losing her mind, and then she let it all out in a powerful scream, “ _Why can’t you just kill me!?”_

Irelia couldn’t take it anymore.

She was going to lose her mind.

Riven wanted an answer, _“Why—”_

She got cut off by Irelia’s lips crashing against hers.

The salty taste of both Riven’s and her own tears invaded her mouth, but Irelia didn’t care as she pressed her lips hard against Riven’s, her hands shooting to the Noxian’s head, holding her in place.

She released her after a few seconds, looking into Riven’s puffy eyes, knowing her own to be just as swollen, for she was also crying, although more silently.

“Will that answer your fucking stupid questions, imbecile?” Irelia asked her, her voice trembling.

Riven was frozen in place, staring into her eyes.

Irelia watched her as she slowly started to sway, her eyelids droopy.

She knew that meant she was about to pass out.

But then she noticed it, the shift, as if she were staring at the same picture, but from a slightly different angle.

_I have felt like this, before._

The green didn’t look as bright as before.

And as her body slowly gave up, Riven mumbled a faint, " _Irelia."_

Recognition.

The lights on her maze had been finally turned on.

And as those eyes started to close, as Irelia finally managed to see red where once green had been, Riven’s body fell to the ground.

Limp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...So, huh. That happened.


	25. From Instinctual Behavior To Rational Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riven finally wakes up.

The door to the safehouse banged against the wall as Vi opened it, “I came as fast as I could!” And rushed inside.

She moved towards Irelia, who was standing in the middle of the room, her eyes on the woman who laid on the ground, having fainted maybe fifteen minutes ago, her cellphone on her hand, Vi’s messages open.

She had to give it to Vi; the brawler had arrived in virtually  _ no  _ time.

After Riven passed out, all Irelia had managed to do was open Vi’s chat, call her, tell her to hurry there and hang up.

Fifteen minutes later, the pugilist materialized in the room, her hands on Irelia’s cheeks, making her gaze finally move from the unconscious Noxian to her lavender eyes, “What happened here, Irelia?”

Irelia slowly shook her head, blinking fast and erratically, “I,” Her eyes moved to Riven, “She woke up and I,” Still shaking her head, she looked away again, at some spot on the ground, “She begged for it and I just, I don’t know, I just,” She looked at Vi again, her face slowly contorting into a pained expression, her eyes glassy. “I, she, I just,” She shook her head and blinked hard, tears coming down, her bottom lip quivering.

Vi pulled her into an embrace, her arms around the woman’s shoulders, “Hey, it’s alright.” Vi cooed, “It will be okay.” She pulled away, looking into Irelia’s eyes, “Go to the bathroom, wash your face, then sit on the couch. I’ll bring you some cold water, okay?”

Irelia fought to keep her eyes on Vi’s, but still nodded her head.

Vi mimicked her movement, “Okay, go.”

So Irelia obeyed, going to the bathroom, trying not to look at the woman who was still unconscious on the floor.

She turned on the faucet and thoroughly washed her face as Vi picked Riven up from the ground and placed her on the bed.

Once she was done, she dried her face and walked to the couch, taking a seat, her eyes moving to Riven, before moving to Vi, who was walking back towards her, a tall glass of water on her hand. “Here,” She said, handing it to Irelia, before sitting down next to her, close enough that her arm, which laid on top of the backrest, was placed behind Irelia’s head, her thigh brushing against the Ionian’s.

Irelia’s hands were shaking, Vi noticed, as the woman brought the glass up to her lips and took a few sips.

She frowned as she noticed the dark circles under her eyes. “When was the last time you  _ actually  _ slept?”

“I can’t remember.”

Vi sighed, but said nothing.

Judging by what she already knew about the brawler, Irelia knew Vi’s reaction to her statement meant two things: one, that she was disappointed by such a fact and wanted to scold her for it but she wouldn’t because, two, she was waiting for the woman to tell her what had happened.

So Irelia sighed, rubbing her eyes with her thumb and index finger before finally beginning, “Riven woke up and asked me why I was helping her.”

Vi frowned, “Well, that’s new.”

“Then she asked me to kill her.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Guess she reached the  _ depression  _ stage of grief, huh?”

“I would say she did.” Irelia said.

“And what happened after?”

“She lost her wits a bit,” Irelia continued, a frown on her face. “She kept asking me to kill her and started to get a bit crazy.” She looked up at Vi, “She may have thrown some things that were on your desk to the wall.”

Vi’s eyes darted to her desk, but she said nothing.

So Irelia went on, getting more and more nervous, evident on how her voice trembled, her lip quivered, her words stumbled upon each other. “She pushed me against the wall and kept begging for me to kill her, I kept telling her I couldn’t and then she asked me  _ why  _ and I,” She shook her head, “I just…” She searched for a word, “I just lost it—”

“What did you do—”

“I kissed her.”

There, she finally said it.

She looked at Vi, whose eyes were already on the Ionian, wide, the brawler as still as the atmosphere around them.

Irelia stuttered as she shook her head, searching for something to say, “She was driving me crazy, I didn’t know what to do and I wanted her to shut up but I didn’t want to punch her so I just—”

“So you just decided to kiss her.” Vi cut her off.

Irelia nodded. “Yeah, basically.”

Vi nodded her head, her expression still wild. “And what happened after that?”

“I asked her if that answered  _ why  _ I couldn’t kill her, then she started to feel dizzy so I guessed she was about to faint but, right before she passed out, she called my name.”

Vi blinked slowly. “She called your name?”

Irelia nodded. “She said  _ Irelia,  _ then passed out.”

“And then you called me and here we are.”

Irelia nodded again. “Yes.”

Vi and Irelia watched each other for a few seconds, in silence.

Then Vi was laughing, loudly.

It irritated the Ionian. “What are you laughing at, you—”

“True love’s kiss and she wakes up from her nightmare? She  _ really is  _ the Sleeping Beauty, isn’t she?” Vi said, before continuing to laugh.

“What the Hell do you mean—”

“I mean that you  _ kissed her  _ and she suddenly remembers you and everything is fine in the world? Come on,” Vi said, rolling her eyes, “That’s some movie thing.”

“She remembered my name, but that doesn’t mean that everything is fine, Vi.” Irelia said, glaring at her. “She  _ passed out,  _ Vi.”

“Okay,” Vi conceded, “So she’ll wake up, remembering you, and everything will be alright.” She shrugged, “It’s okay! I don’t see the problem here.”

“The problem is that every time she woke up after passing out, she was practically on step one of her recovery, Vi!” Irelia’s voice slowly rose, “How am I supposed to actually believe that she’ll wake up and remember me when she’s forgotten where she was  _ every single time  _ she’s woken up? How am I supposed to think that could be good, if it happens, anyway?” Her breathing was getting faster, “How am I—”

“ _ Hey, _ ” Vi started, a hand coming to Irelia’s shoulder, “ _ Relax.  _ It will be alright, I promise.” 

“It  _ won’t  _ be alright, you can’t know that—”

“No, but I know you, Irelia.” Vi said, still as gentle as always, “I know you and I know you won’t give up, so that’s how I know she’ll be okay. You’ve been told this would be a hard thing to do. You weren’t told it was impossible.”

“I’m just  _ so  _ tired, Vi.”

“I know, I can see it.” She said, her eyes on Irelia’s face, on the tiredness that hid beneath droopy eyes and eyebags. “Let’s do something: I’ll stay here for a while just in case things get weird. You use that time to rest and I’ll take care of whatever need arises. Okay?”

Irelia hesitated, but the yawn that escaped her lips was already agreeing to that idea. “I don’t know, Vi,” She said, but she was already getting comfortable on the couch, stretching on it as she kicked her legs up on it, letting Vi slowly guide her down until her head was laying on the woman’s lap.

“It’s going to be okay, Irelia. Rest for as long as you need and let me take care of it.”

Irelia looked up at Vi, “I’m afraid my stupid impulse fucked it all up.” Irelia said, weakly. “I’m afraid I’ve just destroyed everything we’ve worked for because, what if she remembers me now but is disgusted, because she can only remember the Irelia she had tried to kill, once? What if—”

“ _ Irelia.” _

Vi’s voice had been more authoritative than she’d ever heard it be.

“You’re a very organized person, you know that, right?”

Irelia nodded her head, slowly.

“Order generates progress, I will not deny that.” Vi said, her hand slowly moving against Irelia’s head, her fingers tangling themselves on strands of hair. “You don’t want to mix things because you think she must feel better first, before you can actually tell her what you feel or do something about it.” Vi sighed, watching as Irelia’s eyes slowly closed, “Order generates progress, but we progress over innovation and, guess what?” She smirked, “Innovation needs chaos.” Her head lolled to a side. “Stop thinking that, because you didn’t follow the order you commanded yourself to follow, nothing good will happen. You’ve innovated, you tried something you hadn’t tried before, so we might as well sit and see what effect this innovation brings. It’s not the end of the world, I can promise you that.”

And Irelia was already falling asleep when she asked, “You promise?”

Vi smiled, despite the fact Irelia could not see it. “I promise.”

So, with thoughts of order, progress, innovation and chaos in her mind, Irelia finally fell asleep.

* * *

 

The faint sound of the television in the background, the feeling of a soft blanket covering her body, the sensation of fingers —most definitely Vi’s — _ still  _ scratching her scalp, gently.

Irelia kept her eyes closed for a few minutes more. After all, it was the first time in Gods-know-how-long that she managed to wake up on her own accord, with no one and nothing interrupting her sleep, except for the fact that she had finally slept for long enough.

She heard Vi chuckle rather quietly and she used that moment to stretch, finally opening her eyes.

“Good evening,” Vi said, her voice low.

“Good evening,” Irelia replied, her voice croaky with sleep. “How long was I out?”

Vi’s eyes darted to the TV, before coming back to Irelia’s, “Around ten hours.” She saw Irelia’s eyes widen, “It’s midnight, already.”

Irelia rubbed her whole face with her hand, “I guess I really was tired.”

“Yeah.”

Slowly, Irelia raised to a sitting position, her eyes landing on the still slumbering Riven.

“She didn’t wake up, either.” Vi said, knowing exactly what she was thinking. “She’s been asleep the whole time you were.”

Irelia frowned, “Usually, when she passes out, she wakes up one or two hours after.”

“Well, usually, when she passes out, she doesn’t bang her head against the ground like she did this time.” Vi reasoned, “You catch her before she falls. This time you didn’t.”

Irelia turned and looked at her, a bit nervous, “Do you think she died?”

“I checked her vitals while you slept.” Vi confessed. “Her breathing and her pulse are normal. Slow, but that’s to be expected from someone who’s asleep.”

“Oh,” Irelia said, frowning, “I thought maybe you stayed with me all the time.”

“Ten hours without moving?” She snorted, “I like you, Irelia, but I can’t stay still for that long. Besides, you were dead to the world, so you didn’t even notice I was moving around.”

Irelia nodded her head, “Seems reasonable.”

Sensing she was still worrying, Vi scooted closer, “Hey, relax.” She started, “She’s probably just as tired as you were. Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay,” Irelia allowed herself to believe, if only for a second, that maybe Vi was right.

As minutes progressed, Irelia allowed Vi to do many things.

She allowed the brawler to push her into the shower.

She allowed her to cook her something that Irelia would never admit to her, if only to mess with her, but was tasty and filling.

She allowed her to tidy up the mess Riven had made.

And, once she felt at ease, like she could deal with everything on her own, she allowed her —even  _ forced  _ her a bit —to go back to Piltover, to the responsibilities she had abandoned and that required her attention, for the brawler to go back.

After all, when Riven woke up, it was always better if Irelia was alone. Vi seemed to trigger a rabid animal inside of her.

And Irelia feared the animal may still be there, despite Riven having recognized her before falling under once more.

So Irelia poured herself a glass of water and sat down on the couch, allowing herself to actually get hooked by the story that was presented to her through the TV, on a fiction show; apparently, a dapper-looking man had been accused of murder and the protagonist, his daughter, was trying to prove he had not done it.

_ But had he not done it? _

She allowed herself to forget what worried her for a while, but she was brought back to reality as she heard groaning coming from the bed.

She turned to look and saw—

She turned off the TV and slowly approached the bed as Riven slowly sat up, groaning as she did so, her hand coming up to her head as she reached a sitting position.

Irelia froze in place, a step away from the bed, watching Riven as she frowned, looked around and—

Her eyes landed on the Ionian woman, widening a bit as she said, “Irelia.”

Irelia looked at her.

_ Red. _

Irelia could feel herself tearing up.

Riven frowned at the image. “Irelia?—”

She didn’t know how to react as the Ionian threw herself at her, trapping her in an embrace, but Riven did snake her arms around the woman’s body, her frown deepening as she heard her…  _ laugh? _

“Are you okay?” Riven asked her, her voice thick with sleep’s spell.

Irelia pulled away, a wide smile on her lips, tears coming down from her eyes as she regarded Riven, “Couldn’t be better.”

Riven raised a brow, not very sure about what was going on with Irelia, but decided not to push it too much. “Where are we?” She asked, before getting even more serious and saying, “What happened to me?” She groaned, then, knowing how she’d get whenever she  _ lost control, _ “What did I do?”

Irelia’s smile slowly vanished as she calmed down, “Okay,” She said, nodding her head, “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Riven shut her eyes closed and squeezed them, trying to remember, but, “I don’t know, my mind is all foggy.” She rubbed her eyes with her hand, her other one still on Irelia’s back, “I clearly remember running away from a blue haired madwoman—”

“Jinx.” Irelia offered, earning a curious look from Riven, before she resumed her thinking.

“Then I remember fighting a pink haired one—”

“Vi.” She said once again, making Riven raise a brow at her.

“You know them?”

“I only know Vi,” Irelia said, “But she told me Jinx’s name.” She shrugged it off, “What else do you remember?”

Riven focused again, “I remember fighting with her, then I remember feeling steel pushing against my arm and—” She looked into Irelia’s eyes, her red ones narrowing in confusion.

Irelia offered a small, sad smile.

She looked around, “My blade.” She said, before raising her brows a bit, a sad look on her surprised expression, “Where is it?”

And her voice had been so low, so gentle…

Irelia placed a hand on Riven’s cheek, a sigh escaping her lips. “I’m sorry, Riven. It’s gone.”

Riven frowned, “Gone?” She asked, watching Irelia nod her head. “Lost?”

“ _ Destroyed _ .” Irelia said. “Don’t you remember what I told you, before we came to Zaun?”

Riven’s eyes drifted away from Irelia’s as she tried to think of it, “You told me you’d get rid of it.” She said, before looking into Irelia’s eyes again.

The Ionian nodded her head a bit. “During that fight, I pushed your arm so that your blade would receive the impact and, hopefully, Vi’s gauntlets would break it.” She sighed, “They did, so I fulfilled my promise. I destroyed it.”

The former Noxian was frowning, unsure of how to feel with such information. “You destroyed it?” She asked, watching Irelia nod.

A pounding headache was forming, Riven could feel it coming her way.

“And did I ever agree to that?”

Irelia exhaled slowly, “Yes.”

“When? Because I cannot remember ever—”

“Years ago, after the second Noxian Invasion, when you tried to break it yourself.”

Riven closed her eyes, “Okay, but when did I agree to this in the recent past?”

“You didn’t,” Irelia admitted, “But it’s not like you had a choice, either.”

Riven opened her eyes then.

She was glaring at the Ionian.

“It was  _ my  _ blade.” Riven stated. “If someone had a choice, it was me.” A muscle in her jaw feathered, “And I don’t ever recall allowing you to break it.”

Irelia rubbed her eyes with her index and thumb, a thing she realized she was doing far more often than usual. “It was poison for you, for your mind.”

“I want to choose what I allow to poison me, Irelia.”

Irelia  _ glared  _ right back at Riven at the sound of those words. “Well, you’d better pick another one, because this specific poison is now discontinued.”

“Under whose orders?”

“ _ Mine.” _

Riven’s presence vanished from near Irelia as she laid back, creating space, a distance between them, crossing her arms as she said, “I think you’re ignoring the power dynamic between us,  _ Captain Lito.”  _ She ground out with a scowl, “You may  _ think  _ you’re my superior and I may feed that fantasy while we’re in Ionia, but don’t you forget that I’m not Ionian and that we’re not in the First Lands, anymore.” Her eyes were narrowed, “You don’t get to choose over me.”

Irelia groaned. “You can’t be serious right now.” She said because, truth be told, she couldn’t believe Riven was  _ angry.  _ She had expected a certain anger, but not so  _ intense. _

_ Because me taking the lead hadn’t been a problem until  _ just now.

_ It’s better to deal with her anger instead of her madness, though. _

Because, Irelia could easily admit, it  _ was  _ an improvement.

“What makes you think I’m not serious?”

Irelia’s angry scowl turned into a frown of confusion, rather than fury.

Something in the gravely tone, the low voice and the serious look…

She looked at the Noxian, “Riven…”

She trailed off as her eye caught a detail on the image.

Riven’s eyes were red but, if she stayed still, if she stared for long enough she could see them, like flashes of lightning that lit up a dark sky.

Instances where her eyes turned green.

It was brief, lasting less than the blink of an eye, but it was still there.

The demons remained.

They still hid in the corners of her mind.

She hadn’t exiled them from her soul just yet.

Upon such a realization, Irelia’s animosity dissipated.

“ _ Riven  _ what?” The former Noxian spat at her with a snarl, the color in her eyes swaying from red to green.

Irelia shook her head. “Nothing.” She sighed, a calm expression on her face, “Look, I don’t want to fight with you.” She told her, “And I believe we’re both not thinking clearly.”

Riven sneered, “Because my mind is  _ poisoned?” _

Irelia shook her head. “Because a lot has happened, Riven.” She said, offering a small smile, “A lot has happened and I believe we should finish catching up before I admit I was  _ wrong  _ for making a decision without consulting it with you first, because hearing me agree with you will probably give you a heart attack.”

And just like that, the pent up anger evident on Riven’s face started to slowly fade away, as the furrowed brow made room for a look of surprise at Irelia’s unexpected words.

Then Riven’s hand shot to her head, a groan of pain leaving her lips as she winced. She grunted out, “Did I get stabbed in the brain or something? Because this headache surely feels like someone did just that.”

The blunt change was enough proof for Irelia that she was still struggling with the runes’ influence.

Irelia shook her head, “You weren’t stabbed anywhere, but you did receive a few blows to the head.” Her head lolled to a side, “Though I believe the pain you feel is due to your sword missing—”

Riven groaned at the pain, as if it had gone up a notch at Irelia’s words. “I received a few blows?”

“You haven’t been  _ peaceful,  _ exactly, the past few…”  _ How long has it been? _ “...Weeks, Riven.”

Riven’s expression was one of fear and concern when she looked into Irelia’s eyes and asked, “What did I do?”

Nevermind that she wanted to ask,  _ How long was I out? _

Irelia’s gentleness turned into concentration as she scooted closer, “Just what do you remember,  _ after  _ your fight with Vi?”

Riven looked away, trying to bring up to the front of her mind the events that came after. “I remember an explosion of sorts—”

“Your blade.”

“—And then I hit something—”

“A wall.”

“—And it must have been a strong enough impact to knock me out, because that’s all I remember from then.” Riven said, looking at Irelia for a few, brief seconds.

“Okay,” The Ionian said, nodding her head, “And what happened  _ after?” _

Riven looked away again, “It’s all…  _ blurry.”  _ She shook her head, as if trying to clear it, squeezing her eyes shut and pressing on them with two fingers, as if trying to get rid of sleep’s spell.

“Try telling me singular things you can remember,” Irelia encouraged her, “It doesn’t matter if you don’t remember an event: whatever it is that comes to mind, just let it out.”

“I remember darkness,” Riven started, her face contorted into an expression of pain and focus. “I remember being in Ionia, then in Noxus, then in the Fleshing Arena, then in Targon, then in Ionia again…” She sighed, the breath coming out shaky, “I remember dead bodies, blood, the Crimson Elite, fighting monsters...”

“ _ Fighting monsters?” _

Riven looked at Irelia, “I remember being in all these places, fighting these…”  _ How can I describe them?  _ “... _ Creatures,  _ in all of them. I don’t remember travelling, though.”

Irelia frowned, “Riven,  _ how  _ did these creatures look?”

_ And what kind of question is that?  _ “Tall as me, maybe, stood on two legs—” She cut herself off as a thought hit her, “Those weren’t  _ creatures,  _ were they?”

Irelia shook her head, a pained expression on her face. “Don’t you remember the people you almost killed in the hospital? Don’t you remember trying to kill  _ me _ ?”

Riven’s eyes widened, “ _ Kill  _ you?” She shook her head, horrified, “I’d never even try to—”

Irelia’s hands cupped her face, “Riven.”

The Noxian looked into Irelia’s eyes.

They were glassy.

“You almost killed an entire medical unit. You painted the walls with your blood, drew the runes that had once been on your sword.” She tried not to let the tears fall, “Don’t you remember any of it?”

Riven looked terrified, unable to understand she had done something like that. “No,” She said, her hands coming up to her head as the pounding headache returned, her fingers digging into her skull, pressing hard as she squeezed her eyes shut, “No,” She said, breathing hard, “No, No—”

“ _ Riven,”  _ Irelia called her name, her hands moving towards Riven’s wrists, holding them, pulling her hands away from her head. “Calm down. It’s okay.”

Riven opened her eyes, her own looking as glassy as Irelia’s, “Did I kill anybody?”

“No, Riven,” Irelia cooed in a low voice. “No one died, everyone’s safe and sound, I promise.”

It looked like it calmed her a bit, but Riven still looked a bit shaken, “And did I hurt you?” 

_ That  _ was a hard thing to answer.

_ Because  _ yes,  _ seeing you go through it was like a thousand stabs to the heart, Riven. _

“You didn’t, don’t worry about it. Seeing you suffer like you did was a terrible thing, though.” Irelia replied, being honest with the former Noxian.

Riven looked sad at such a reply, though. “I’m so sorry about it, Irelia.” Those tears finally fell from her eyes, “I’m sorry about it all.”

Irelia’s arms snaked around the woman’s body. “It’s okay, Riven.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Riven said, her voice muffled against Irelia’s shoulder, “I don’t even know why I feel like this.”

Irelia smirked, “Being sensitive is not a weakness, Riven. After all you’ve been through, it’s understandable for your emotions to be a bit shaken up.”

“I never said that!”

Irelia chuckled, “But you implied it.”

Riven pulled away, her eyes wet with tears but a playful pout on her lips, the Noxian ready to say something, but then her eyes wandered to Irelia’s clothing and a frown formed on her face, “What are you wearing?”

“Vi’s clothes.”

Riven looked even more confused than before, “ _ Why  _ are you wearing her clothes?”

Irelia laughed, knowing that if she just replied  _ Because she told me to wear whatever I found in her wardrobe  _ would be really confusing for the Noxian.  “You wouldn’t understand it.”

And she tried to ignore the way she felt at the sight of riven’s  _ glare. _

_ Is she  _ angry  _ that I’m wearing Vi’s clothes? _

She tried not to think of it.

Despite the confusion she felt, Riven chuckled. “Whatever you say.” She replied, wiping her eyes.

“So, what else do you remember?” Irelia broke the lighthearted atmosphere, partly because she needed a distraction.

Riven got somber once more, shaking her head. “I don’t know, Irelia. I remember a lot of things, but it’s all so foggy, like my mind has been working wrong,” She shook her head, “My very memories seem to be distorted,” She said, looking into Irelia’s eyes, “I remember seeing the Crimson Elite, dead, asking me to kill.”

“Kill who?”

“ _ Everyone.” _

Irelia gulped at that. Riven merely sighed.

“I remember fighting creatures and passing out right after…” She got lost in her own thoughts, “...It.”

Irelia’s head lolled to a side as she tried to catch Riven’s eyes, “I’ll take it passing out wasn’t a very good experience?”

“Every time the lights went out, I’d still be kind of  _ awake, _ in the darkness.” Riven said, “I remember it.” She looked at Irelia, “The undead didn’t stop their requesting when the lights went out. It only made them angrier.”

_ The undead. _

Because Riven hadn’t only seen the Crimson Elite and Irelia knew it.

“Whenever I was out cold, they’d hostigate me, without me being able to see them.” Riven continued. “Every time I woke up, I felt like I was in a new place and I could finally see them all.” She sighed, closing her eyes, “No matter what happened, they were always there, whether it was dark or not.”

“And are they around us now?”

“No,” Riven said, opening her eyes and looking around, as if making sure. “I stopped seeing them after  _ someone,”  _ She was frowning, “ _ A friend  _ of sorts helped me see they weren’t really there.”

Irelia was frozen. Riven noticed.

“That was you, wasn’t it?”

Irelia nodded her head. “It had been me.”

Riven sighed, “I’m so sorry.”

Irelia exhaled slowly, “It’s alright.”

But then—  _ “ _ I remember you.”

Irelia froze.

“I remember seeing you.”

_ She can’t possibly— _

“I remember calling your name, then falling asleep.” 

“That’s all you can recall?”

Riven frowned, “Is there something I’m forgetting?”

_ She doesn’t know. _

She closed her eyes.

“No,” She lied, “I’m just asking.”

Riven groaned as another painful headache made her head pound. “I’m sorry, Irelia, I’m having trouble remembering it all. It’s like I can only come up with little specks of moments. I remember fighting and passing out, I remember seeing the undead and then not seeing them anymore, I remember obeying them and then fearing them, but I can’t really…” She sighed, “It feels like it has all been a dream, or something that happened eons ago.” She shook her head, “I can’t tell what of it all is something my mind came up with and what’s something that actually happened.” She was frowning, “I guess some things will come back to me with time, or will make better sense. Right now, my head’s a mess.”

“ _ You’re  _ the mess.”

Riven chuckled, “I  _ did  _ say something like that to you, didn’t I?”

Irelia nodded. “You did.”

Riven was smirking, “What did  _ this mess  _ miss out on while I was  _ gone?” _

Irelia raised her brows, “A lot.”

“Well,” Riven said, that smirk still on her lips, “You’d better start telling me all about it.”

Irelia opened her mouth to reply, before the door was forcefully pushed open, both of them turning to look at the intruder as they heard the sound.

Irelia stood up and rushed to the door, “ _ Vi!” _

The brawler closed the door and fell back against it, the deep cut on her brow bleeding profusely. “Hey.” Her eyes moved from the approaching Ionian to the Noxian that still sat on her bed. “Oh. You’re up.”

Riven  _ glared  _ at her. “I am.” She snarled, and it surprised even  _ her. _

_ By the Gods, why do I want to kick her on the face? _

Irelia inspected the cut, “What happened to you?”

“I think someone knows you’re snooping around Zaun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because they can NEVER catch a break. EVER.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back with something I kind of promised.
> 
> If you enjoy it, consider buying me a coffee! I'm mililap at ko-fi <3
> 
> And, as always, let me know what you think!
> 
> Cheers <3


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